Pagan Lightbulb Jokes

Jester Image

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
13 consistng entirely of man-woman working couples

How many Rad fems does it take?
7: one to do it, 2 to organize the creche and 4 to debate the meaning of the word unscrew

How man Crowleyites does it take?
They can't. Uncle Aleister didn't leave any instructions.

How many Chaos magicians does it take?
They don't need to--they are used to working in the dark.

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, one not to change it.

How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The universe changes the light bulb and the Zen Master gets the hell out of the way!

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a light bulb?
1. I can't say. It's oathbound.
2. I can't tell you--you're not a third-circle initiate!

How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb?
1. Same number as Gardnerians.
2. What do the Gardnerians do?

How many Dianic women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
That's W-I-M-M-I-N, and that's not funny!

How many Solitaries does it take to change a light bulb?
Who cares!

How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.

How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
1. None... they call the electrician who's also pagan and keeps the money in their community.
2. None -- if a candle was good enough for Gramma it's good enough for me!

How may light bulbs does it take to change a Gardnerian?
None, they can do it all by themselves, thank you very much!!

How many Asatruar does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient, thank you.

How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.

How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
Thirteen; one to hold the bulb, and twelve to drink enough to make the room spin.

How many ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One; he stands still with the bulb, and the universe revolves around him.

How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.

How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Crowley never wrote a book about it.

Important: If this page annoys and upsets you, please carefully read this page before complaining to the webmaster.


Please donate now to pay our monthly server fees:
Donate to The Cauldron
[More Info]

Special Offer

Conversational Hypnosis
You really can hypnotize people in every day conversations. Quickly and easily. Without them knowing what is going on. While they arere fully awake... yet... under your hypnotic spell. Click Here Now!

Pagan Custom Web Search

Enter Search Term:


The sites included in this Google custom search have been selected by members of The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum to help you find higher quality Pagan and religious information on the web.

Pagan-Friendly Webhosting

Dreamhost offers high-quality, low cost web hosting with a dedication to free speech.

Dreamhost Features · unlimited web space
· 50 gigs personal file space
· unlimited bandwidth
· unlimited email boxes (POP3/IMAP)
· unlimited ftp/shell accounts
· unlimited domains/subdomains
· php5, cgi, python, fastcgi, ssi
· zend optimizer, ruby on rails
· unlimited MySQL 5 databases
· announcement lists
· discussion (aka mailing) lists
· Jabber server, Custom DNS
· Crontab and Shell access
· Web-based Control Panel
· One-Click installs of the Wordpress blog & others
· 1 free domain name
· helpful tech support
· 100% Uptime Guarantee
· and much more!

All for $10.95 a month with a $49.95 setup fee (pay for a year in advance for $9.95 a month and there is no setup fee). Pay two years in advance and the price drops to $8.95 a month. (And there is a 97 day money back guarantee!)

Click here to read why we've hosted with Dreamhost.
Message Board
Recent Threads
Click on a thread name to read it.