The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Casserole

Jester Image

To prepare for this ritual, clear a space for the circle in the center of the kitchen. Then don your ceremonial apron and hold your ceremonial spatula in your right hand. Stand in the center of the circle and face east. You are ready to begin:

  1. With your spatula, draw a banishing pentagram to the East. Then, thrust your spatula through the pentagram and say, "Microwave dinners, be gone!"
  2. Move to the South. Again, draw a banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it. "TV dinners, be gone!"
  3. Move to the West. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it. "Ramen instant noodles, be gone!"
  4. Move to the north. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, "Mystery meat in a can, be gone!"
  5. Move to the center of the circle and stand still. Chant the following:
    Before me, Martha Stewart.
    Behind me, Betty Crocker.
    To my right side, Julia Child.
    To my left side, Martha Stewart, AGAIN!
  6. Visualize yourself standing in a giant casserole and proclaim, "For about me bakes the casserole, and around me shines the 6-course meal."
  7. Clap your hands three times and say, "It's a good thing."

The rite is over.

If the ritual is not effective, please order take-out ASAP.

Important: If this page annoys and upsets you, please carefully read this page before complaining to the webmaster.


Please donate now to pay our monthly server fees:
Donate to The Cauldron
[More Info]

Special Offer

Qigong Power Training System
Secrets Of Chi Manipulation Revealed- The Insider Methods To The Worlds Most Extraordinary Qigong Techniques. Click Now!

Pagan Custom Web Search

Enter Search Term:


The sites included in this Google custom search have been selected by members of The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum to help you find higher quality Pagan and religious information on the web.

Pagan-Friendly Webhosting

Dreamhost offers high-quality, low cost web hosting with a dedication to free speech.

Dreamhost Features · unlimited web space
· 50 gigs personal file space
· unlimited bandwidth
· unlimited email boxes (POP3/IMAP)
· unlimited ftp/shell accounts
· unlimited domains/subdomains
· php5, cgi, python, fastcgi, ssi
· zend optimizer, ruby on rails
· unlimited MySQL 5 databases
· announcement lists
· discussion (aka mailing) lists
· Jabber server, Custom DNS
· Crontab and Shell access
· Web-based Control Panel
· One-Click installs of the Wordpress blog & others
· 1 free domain name
· helpful tech support
· 100% Uptime Guarantee
· and much more!

All for $10.95 a month with a $49.95 setup fee (pay for a year in advance for $9.95 a month and there is no setup fee). Pay two years in advance and the price drops to $8.95 a month. (And there is a 97 day money back guarantee!)

Click here to read why we've hosted with Dreamhost.
Message Board
Recent Threads
Click on a thread name to read it.

· Mini Brigid Altar
· Pregnant and Stressed
· Nearby Star Hosts 7 Earth-Size Planets
· Good ways to invoke Hades
· Phobos as a Patron deity
· Pantheon
· Sigils
· A question on Energy work?
· Spritual Walls.
· hailing from sunny Southern CA
· Black Bible SPAMbook (IT'S DESIGN IMBUES IT WITH SYNCHRONICITY CONTROL FOR IT'S OWNE
· Raine Ashford author of Black Bible from Kelowna, BC
· General/Non-Specific: Need Help to Fix a Round of Bad Luck
· Building a temple in my garden
· Stonehenge with mobility issues

Book Reviews
Click on the book cover to read our review of this book. We welcome your comments on this book in our message board.
A Witch's Book of Dreams
A Witch's Book of Dreams


Sister Forums