Home > Humor Library > Lord of the AntsSearch

Lord of the Ants

by Karl Lembke

(sung to the tune of "Lord of the Dance")

Well we cleansed with sugar 'cause the salt was gone,
And the color was right though the substance might be wrong,
And when the water dried, it was sticky, my oh me,
It attracted all of the ants, you see,

(chorus)
Ants, ants, all over they shall be,
I am the lord of the ants, you see.
I'll crawl on you, and you'll itch from me,
And you'll dance with ants in your pants, said he.

We have ants in the carpets and we've ants in the drapes,
We have ants in the kitchen dancing galliards on the grapes,
We have ants in the bedroom and what may be more fun,
We have ants in our circles now from sun to sun.

(chorus)

'What to do' cried the priestess, 'what to do' cried the priest,
'All the baits and the sprays haven't helped us in the least,
'The buggers eat it up and it only makes us sick,
'All in all I'd say it is no pic-nic!'

(chorus)

We stood round the fire while the flames lept up high,
With the sound of the sirens wailing up to the sky,
Though the bug bombs exploded it could still have been worse,
At least now we're free of the ant lord's curse!

(spoken: "Oh hell!")

(chorus)

Important: If this page annoys and upsets you, please carefully read this page before complaining to the webmaster.

Please donate now to pay our monthly server fees:

[More Info]

Welcome, Guest!
[You can Register or Login]

Board Stats
Total Members: 3240
Total Posts: 202378
Total Topics: 11731
Total Categories: 8
Total Boards: 80

Who's Online
43 Guests, 14 Users, 0 Users in Chat (2 Hidden)
Tana, Lykos, RandallS, Rowanfox, Owl, Steve - ComW, Phoenix, BGMarc, shdwdrgnwlf, Caroline, Star, treekisser

Pagan Custom Web Search

Enter Search Term:

The sites included in this Google custom search have been selected by members of The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum to help you find higher quality Pagan and religious information on the web.

Pagan-Friendly Webhosting

Dreamhost offers high-quality, low cost web hosting with a dedication to free speech.

Dreamhost Features · unlimited web space
· 50 gigs personal file space
· unlimited bandwidth
· unlimited email boxes (POP3/IMAP)
· unlimited ftp/shell accounts
· unlimited domains/subdomains
· php5, cgi, python, fastcgi, ssi
· zend optimizer, ruby on rails
· unlimited MySQL 5 databases
· announcement lists
· discussion (aka mailing) lists
· Jabber server, Custom DNS
· Crontab and Shell access
· Web-based Control Panel
· One-Click installs of the Wordpress blog & others
· 1 free domain name
· helpful tech support
· 100% Uptime Guarantee
· and much more!

All for $10.95 a month with a $49.95 setup fee (pay for a year in advance for $9.95 a month and there is no setup fee). Pay two years in advance and the price drops to $8.95 a month. (And there is a 97 day money back guarantee!)