The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum (Archive Board)
August 23, 2019, 02:01:06 pm *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: This is our Read Only Archive Board (closed to posting July 2011). Join our new vBulletin board!
 
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 23, 2019, 02:01:06 pm

Login with username, password and session length
Donate!
The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.
TC Staff
Important Information about this Archive Board
This message board is The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum's SMF Archive Board. It is closed to new memberships and to posting, but there are over 250,000 messages here that you can still search and read -- many full of interesting and useful information. (This board was open from February 2007 through June 2011).

Our new vBulletin discussion board is located at http://www.ecauldron.com/forum/ -- if you would like to participate in discussions like those you see here, please visit our new vBulletin message board, register an account and join in our discussions. We hope you will find the information in this message archive useful and will consider joining us on our new board.
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 8   Go Down
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
Author Topic: When Others Pray For You?  (Read 25530 times)
Ana
Journeyman
***
Last Login:August 30, 2011, 06:53:09 am
United States United States

Religion: Flamekeeper
Posts: 217


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Topic Start: May 06, 2007, 06:11:53 pm »

I was just wondering how people felt about when people say they're praying for you when you don't ask for it.  I think prayer is a very powerful form of spellwork that pretty much every religion uses whether they think of it as a spell or magick or not.  I've gotten to the point now where I am ok with it as long as the intent of the prayer coincides with the goal I want for myself, but I have a problem when people say, "I'll pray for you to come back to the Lord,"  or, "I pray every night that you change your mind," or, "I'll pray for you that you stop doing [insert something I do they don't agree with]".  To me it seems like more of a negative thing than a positive thing. 

I had a lot of people "praying" for me when I got pregnant with my son, but my husband and I decided to wait to get married after he was born- on our originally scheduled date.  It didn't really do much except strengthen my resolve that I was doing the right thing.  Maybe that would make it more of a positive thing because of my personality... but I was wondering what everyone else's opinion was.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2007, 07:10:45 pm by RandallS, Reason: Changed to more meaning subject » Logged

Ana

Welcome, Guest!
You will need to register and/or login to participate in our discussions.

Read our Rules and Policies and the Quoting Guidelines.

Help Fund Our Server? Donate to Lyricfox's Cancer Fund?

Star
Message Board Coordinator
Senior Staff
Grand Adept Member
****
Last Login:January 12, 2013, 08:36:08 am
United States United States

Religion: Hellenic Reconstructionist
TCN ID: star
Posts: 9033


Etcetera, Whatever

Blog entries (0)

ilaynay starcr
WWW
« Reply #1: May 06, 2007, 06:18:12 pm »

I was just wondering how people felt about when people say they're praying for you when you don't ask for it. 

*shrug*  For the most part, I figure good wishes are good wishes regardless.  Sure, they might not be the wishes I particularly would have chosen, but...  I mean, they mean well.  Some people do use it as an attack, and that's very rude, but there's not much I can do about that except roll my eyes, make a note to avoid certain topics with those people if possible, and move on with life.  It doesn't bother me any more than a lot of other rude things people do.

Of course, I don't see prayer as spellwork either, so that may make my perspective a little different here.
Logged

"The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced."
-- Aart Van Der Leeuw

Main Blog:  Star's Journal of Random Thoughts
Religious Blog:  The Song and the Flame
I can also now be found on Goodreads.
Dania
High Adept Member
******
Last Login:July 17, 2008, 08:11:47 pm
United States United States

Religion: Gwyddon Seeker
Posts: 2895


Queen of Hare-Brained Schemes

Blog entries (4)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #2: May 06, 2007, 07:00:07 pm »

I was just wondering how people felt about when people say they're praying for you when you don't ask for it.  I think prayer is a very powerful form of spellwork that pretty much every religion uses whether they think of it as a spell or magick or not.  I've gotten to the point now where I am ok with it as long as the intent of the prayer coincides with the goal I want for myself, but I have a problem when people say, "I'll pray for you to come back to the Lord,"  or, "I pray every night that you change your mind," or, "I'll pray for you that you stop doing [insert something I do they don't agree with]".  To me it seems like more of a negative thing than a positive thing. 

I had a lot of people "praying" for me when I got pregnant with my son, but my husband and I decided to wait to get married after he was born- on our originally scheduled date.  It didn't really do much except strengthen my resolve that I was doing the right thing.  Maybe that would make it more of a positive thing because of my personality... but I was wondering what everyone else's opinion was.

I don't have a problem with it if someone wants to pray for me, no matter which God(s) they are praying to or which format they use. I do understand the concern, and find it a little offensive, if someone is praying for something that I do not want for myself. However I don't work myself into a tizzy about it, because I figure I'm stronger than their prayers when it comes to my own life.
Logged


Ocelot
Cauldron Council
Senior Staff
Adept Member
****
Last Login:October 02, 2011, 12:45:59 pm
United States United States

Religion: FlameKeeper
Posts: 2081


Blog entries (0)


« Reply #3: May 06, 2007, 07:16:53 pm »

I was just wondering how people felt about when people say they're praying for you when you don't ask for it.  I think prayer is a very powerful form of spellwork that pretty much every religion uses whether they think of it as a spell or magick or not.  I've gotten to the point now where I am ok with it as long as the intent of the prayer coincides with the goal I want for myself, but I have a problem when people say, "I'll pray for you to come back to the Lord,"  or, "I pray every night that you change your mind," or, "I'll pray for you that you stop doing [insert something I do they don't agree with]".  To me it seems like more of a negative thing than a positive thing. 

I had a lot of people "praying" for me when I got pregnant with my son, but my husband and I decided to wait to get married after he was born- on our originally scheduled date.  It didn't really do much except strengthen my resolve that I was doing the right thing.  Maybe that would make it more of a positive thing because of my personality... but I was wondering what everyone else's opinion was.

I generally don't mind it and just say thank you. I figure for the most part, if someone is praying for me, they are for positive reasons. heck, I can always use all the well wishes I can get.

The only time I had a problem with it was one time when I was in the hospital and some evangelical Christian friends of my mother wanted to all stand around me and do the whole laying of hands healing thing. that made me really uncomfortable.
Logged

~<>~ Flame of light, flame of dark, working together, never apart.
Dancing in harmony, balance assured, dark absorbs so light may endure.~<>~

Blog: http://ocelotsden.blogspot.com/
FlameKeeping: http://www.flamekeeping.org/
RandallS
Co-Host
Administrator
Grand Adept Member
*****
Last Login:April 07, 2019, 10:49:07 am
United States United States

Religion: Hellenic Pagan
TCN ID: ADMIN
Posts: 17181


Blog entries (0)


« Reply #4: May 06, 2007, 07:20:43 pm »

I think prayer is a very powerful form of spellwork that pretty much every religion uses whether they think of it as a spell or magick or not.

I think prayer is something completely different than magic. Magic is using your force of will to change reality. Prayer is asking a deity to change reality for you if he/she wants to. This, however, doesn't really affect your basic question. Smiley

Quote
I've gotten to the point now where I am ok with it as long as the intent of the prayer coincides with the goal I want for myself, but I have a problem when people say, "I'll pray for you to come back to the Lord,"  or, "I pray every night that you change your mind," or, "I'll pray for you that you stop doing [insert something I do they don't agree with]".  To me it seems like more of a negative thing than a positive thing. 

I figure they have the right to pray to their God or Gods for whatever they want. As it is usually Christians who do this, I just assume that the Christian deity have enough morals not to honor such selfish requests about other people. After all, if he is all-powerful and all-knowing as Christians claim and wanted everyone to do/not do X, he could easily "make it so" -- he would not need to wait for some follower to ask him to in a specific case. As he hasn't, I have to assume that he either cannot or will not in general so is unlikely to do so on a case-by-case prayer request basis.
Logged

Randall
RetroRoleplaying [Blog - Forum] -- Out Of Print & Out Of Style Tabletop Roleplaying Games
Software Gadgets Blog -- Interesting Software, Mostly Free
Cheap Web Hosting -- Find an Affordable Web Host
HeartShadow - Cutethulhu
Assistant Board Coordinator
Senior Staff
Grand Adept Member
****
Last Login:April 15, 2013, 06:53:07 pm
United States United States

Religion: FlameKeeper
TCN ID: GenevieveWood
Posts: 8627


I am the Pirate Teddybear!

Blog entries (0)

WWW
« Reply #5: May 06, 2007, 08:05:56 pm »

I was just wondering how people felt about when people say they're praying for you when you don't ask for it.  I think prayer is a very powerful form of spellwork that pretty much every religion uses whether they think of it as a spell or magick or not.  I've gotten to the point now where I am ok with it as long as the intent of the prayer coincides with the goal I want for myself, but I have a problem when people say, "I'll pray for you to come back to the Lord,"  or, "I pray every night that you change your mind," or, "I'll pray for you that you stop doing [insert something I do they don't agree with]".  To me it seems like more of a negative thing than a positive thing. 

I'm generally conflicted about "praying for you" stuff.

If it's someone I know that's truly praying *for me*, I find it flattering and helpful.  When someone I don't know offers to pray for me, I find it .. unpleasant.  Like an unwelcome intimacy.  If I *ask* for prayers, that's different.  But if someone offers them without being asked and without having that kind of relationship with me, it feels invasive.

Then again, I'm a VERY self-contained like person.  I've always figured prayer is what you do when all your other options are spent. Cheesy
Logged




FlameKeeping website: http://www.flamekeeping.org
Ana
Journeyman
***
Last Login:August 30, 2011, 06:53:09 am
United States United States

Religion: Flamekeeper
Posts: 217


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #6: May 06, 2007, 08:47:54 pm »

The only time I had a problem with it was one time when I was in the hospital and some evangelical Christian friends of my mother wanted to all stand around me and do the whole laying of hands healing thing. that made me really uncomfortable.

This makes me really uncomfortable.  To me it's a bit creepy, but also I just don't like to be touched by people I don't know.

I'm generally conflicted about "praying for you" stuff.

If it's someone I know that's truly praying *for me*, I find it flattering and helpful.  When someone I don't know offers to pray for me, I find it .. unpleasant.  Like an unwelcome intimacy.  If I *ask* for prayers, that's different.  But if someone offers them without being asked and without having that kind of relationship with me, it feels invasive.

Then again, I'm a VERY self-contained like person.  I've always figured prayer is what you do when all your other options are spent. Cheesy

I think this is kind of my feelings on it.  I do feel that prayer *for me* is a big part of my spellwork, simply because I don't pray in the Christian fashion I guess.  I see it more like a focusing of will.
Logged

Ana

Driven by Dreams
Journeyman
***
Last Login:December 18, 2011, 10:11:07 pm
United States United States

Religion: Absurdism
Posts: 147


From LiveJournal Community: Cat_Macros

Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #7: May 06, 2007, 10:54:10 pm »

I was just wondering how people felt about when people say they're praying for you when you don't ask for it.  I think prayer is a very powerful form of spellwork that pretty much every religion uses whether they think of it as a spell or magick or not.  I've gotten to the point now where I am ok with it as long as the intent of the prayer coincides with the goal I want for myself, but I have a problem when people say, "I'll pray for you to come back to the Lord,"  or, "I pray every night that you change your mind," or, "I'll pray for you that you stop doing [insert something I do they don't agree with]".  To me it seems like more of a negative thing than a positive thing. 

I get that from my family sometimes. It's annoying, but I know I have very specific, concrete reasons why I don't go to church anymore and have parted from my Christian upbringing- and I highly doubt any prayer (no matter how sincere or emotional or spell-like it may be) is going to make those reasons just vanish without being settled. If you were sure enough in your reasons to make the actions to be where you are and you're doing fine, then I don't think there's any reason you let it bug you too much. It's rude and bad manners in my opinion, but not harmful.
Logged

Redheaded GodMama
Senior Newbie
*
Last Login:May 16, 2007, 12:39:45 pm
United States United States

Posts: 9

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #8: May 06, 2007, 11:20:12 pm »

I like what Randall had to say about the God of the Christians, that assuming He is everything they believe Him to be, He is far too wise and loving to grant a prayer uttered by one person if it would harm the person being prayed for.

As for myself, it depends on what the prayer concerns.  There have been times in my life when I myself used prayer in it's traditional form and intent, when others also prayed for me and I  believe those prayers found their mark.  It was welcom and needed and when what I need came to be fulfilled, I was very grateful for those who lent their positive energy to assist.

However, when a the prayer is uttered used to try to change something the prayer doesn't like about the prayee, I think that must be an awful lot like casting a spell to try to force an individual to do something completely against their will.  I am exceedingly new, I know, but that doesn't seem right by an ethical standard.  The prayer may believe they have good intentions but I doubt that any diety would answer such a prayer knowing that in the end, it is more about the prayer than the prayee.

Those of us who grew up in fundamentalist religions have all been told by at least one person that they are praying for us.. praying that we would change ourselves to be what they wanted.  If we think about where we are now, and if, like me, most of us are happy fulfilled individuals, then we know that there is such a thing as the positive power of the unanswered prayer.  A major turning point in my own relationship with my JW-elder father came when I was able to honestly and lovingly respond to this statement by saying that I was praying for him too, praying that God would show him that I was worthy of his love and respect just as I am.
Logged
Celtee
Staff
High Adept Member
***
Last Login:May 02, 2013, 06:50:08 pm
United States United States

Religion: Wandering Seeker with Celtic and Hedgewitch leanings
TCN ID: SilverWolf
Posts: 4773


The lone wolf waits...

Blog entries (0)


« Reply #9: May 07, 2007, 02:20:23 am »



Please use the quote button when replying to a post; it's the only way we know whose post you're replying to.
Logged

"It's only forever
Not long at all"
~~Jareth

"Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time"
Changes
~~ David Bowie

"Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?"
~~James Thurber
EverFool
Board Staff
Staff
High Adept Member
***
Last Login:September 16, 2011, 12:40:01 pm
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Religion: atheist
Posts: 2960


Blog entries (0)


« Reply #10: May 07, 2007, 04:47:35 am »

I was just wondering how people felt about when people say they're praying for you when you don't ask for it.  I think prayer is a very powerful form of spellwork that pretty much every religion uses whether they think of it as a spell or magick or not.  I've gotten to the point now where I am ok with it as long as the intent of the prayer coincides with the goal I want for myself, but I have a problem when people say, "I'll pray for you to come back to the Lord,"  or, "I pray every night that you change your mind," or, "I'll pray for you that you stop doing [insert something I do they don't agree with]".  To me it seems like more of a negative thing than a positive thing. 

I had a lot of people "praying" for me when I got pregnant with my son, but my husband and I decided to wait to get married after he was born- on our originally scheduled date.  It didn't really do much except strengthen my resolve that I was doing the right thing.  Maybe that would make it more of a positive thing because of my personality... but I was wondering what everyone else's opinion was.


If people are praying for 'good things,' than I appreciate it regardless of whether they pray to God, Satan, etc etc.  If they're praying for me to change... well, I don't believe it's going to work.  So on that basis, I don't care.  They can pray all they like.  I'm personally dubious as to whether prayer does anything at all, so that forms part of my opinion. Smiley
Logged

If anal prolapse teaches us anything, it's that it is what is inside that counts.
Marilyn (ABSENTMINDED)
Assistant Board Coordinator
Senior Staff
High Adept Member
****
Last Login:February 06, 2013, 08:12:28 pm
Canada Canada

Religion: free-flowing animist, Dudeist Priest
TCN ID: Absentminded
Posts: 2725


Blog entries (11)


« Reply #11: May 07, 2007, 06:22:10 am »


However, when a the prayer is uttered used to try to change something the prayer doesn't like about the prayee, I think that must be an awful lot like casting a spell to try to force an individual to do something completely against their will.  I am exceedingly new, I know, but that doesn't seem right by an ethical standard.  The prayer may believe they have good intentions but I doubt that any diety would answer such a prayer knowing that in the end, it is more about the prayer than the prayee.


This is very close to my view.  My logic, such as it is, is that since I can feel the effectiveness of prayers for healing and energy, such as those the Cil sends out  with permission, prayers for what I consider 'negative' ends must have some power behind them as well, whether it is from a deity or from those praying.  The fact that they are doing it without permission may hinder the effectiveness, but I'm not really sure of that.  I don't believe such prayers are really addressed to a deity, at least not primarily.  I think they are focused on the target, and that is where the energy is being sent.

It's not really logic I'm going on, as usual, though.  It is personal experience, and thus may be confined to the specific situation my experience is rooted in.

My husband is a Mennonite 'escapee', and his family had been praying for him, in focussed prayer circles, for a few years before we met.  It hadn't brought him back, but when I taught him to shield he lost a lot of his self doubt and conflict.  He had been drifting, refusing to speak to his family, unable to settle down.  He had also been a participant in prayer circles before he left and felt a connection when he heard me explaining to his sister-in-law about a technique for casting curses I was familiar with.  This was before we were 'together', and he wasn't sure about whether I was evil or not (now he knows Grin) but he was very interested when I talked about how to protect yourself from this form of casting.

His family still does this from time to time, although they have relaxed a bit.  They know what I am and have a conflict because they like me and know I haven't tried to 'corrupt' DH, but fear for both our souls.  I don't feel their prayers at all, but DH does.  He has tested this by calling his most sympathetic brother to ask if they've been doing it when he gets that feeling.  It doesn't impair him anymore because he percieves it differently now and 'bulks up' his shields whenever he feels it happening.  He also has much less hostility towards them now and has repaired the rifts that existed back when we met. (12 or 13 years ago now)

I know that technically prayers are not spells, but since the energy feels the same to me, and the same barriers work against that energy, I don't worry about the technicalities.  I just do what works, as usual.

Absent, pragmatist
Logged

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard

Blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let in the light.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

L Cohen
Mandi
Adept Member
*****
Last Login:June 03, 2011, 01:52:13 am
United States United States

Religion: ergghhhmmmmnnnnn....
Posts: 1997


Did the big meanies break yer speshulness

Blog entries (48)



Ignore
« Reply #12: May 07, 2007, 09:24:58 am »

I was just wondering how people felt about when people say they're praying for you when you don't ask for it.  I think prayer is a very powerful form of spellwork that pretty much every religion uses whether they think of it as a spell or magick or not.  I've gotten to the point now where I am ok with it as long as the intent of the prayer coincides with the goal I want for myself, but I have a problem when people say, "I'll pray for you to come back to the Lord,"  or, "I pray every night that you change your mind," or, "I'll pray for you that you stop doing [insert something I do they don't agree with]".  To me it seems like more of a negative thing than a positive thing. 

I had a lot of people "praying" for me when I got pregnant with my son, but my husband and I decided to wait to get married after he was born- on our originally scheduled date.  It didn't really do much except strengthen my resolve that I was doing the right thing.  Maybe that would make it more of a positive thing because of my personality... but I was wondering what everyone else's opinion was.

I just say thanks.  I don't really take too much of it seriously though, because it seems to be a social dance rather than a real action.  Usually in the exact moment of saying they will pray for you, they write a mental sticky not to god, and forget about it.

When I get the repent style I'll pray for you, I say in return, as I will pray for you.  This started an "I pray for you" war with a neighbor that eventually we just dropped.

I got *god bless you!* by a teacher at the school the other day, and I couldn't figure out if it's because my son likes to tell others what he has recently learned about our faith, or because I brought the paints to the classroom, but all the same, I just said uh.. thanks.  You too.
Logged

I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
Purplewitch
Adept Member
*****
Last Login:August 03, 2009, 02:04:40 pm
Canada Canada

Religion: kitchenWitch with Celtic Condiments
Posts: 1621


Blog entries (2)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #13: May 07, 2007, 12:00:30 pm »

If it's someone I know that's truly praying *for me*, I find it flattering and helpful. 

I'm with Shadow on that one, otherwise, while my reaction depends on *what* they're praying for, mostly, I'm just 'whatever makes you feel better... you do what you feel you have to do and I'll do what I feel I have to do'

Quote
Then again, I'm a VERY self-contained like person. 

Really? We never noticed hehe
Seriously... me too.

Quote
I've always figured prayer is what you do when all your other options are spent. Cheesy

And I think that's scarily true for me too, and too big a can of worms for me to open right now, but, if I had to say how often in the last couple of years I actually 'prayed' - as opposed to 'conversing' with my goddess.... well, in honesty, once. And at that point in that situation, yes, I was out of options and yes it was a huge big whiny 'mom!! Help me (well... not me exactly but.. yeah...) please!' kind of one.  Embarrassed

(Disclaimer: I don't think I'm very pleasant to talk to this morning Wink )
Logged

Redheaded GodMama
Senior Newbie
*
Last Login:May 16, 2007, 12:39:45 pm
United States United States

Posts: 9

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #14: May 07, 2007, 12:10:00 pm »

Please use the quote button when replying to a post; it's the only way we know whose post you're replying to.

I'm sorry, I was creating a generalized response to the thread as a whole and did not realize that a quote was necessary.  I'll try to make sure I don't make the same mistake again.
Logged

Donor Ad: Become a Silver or Gold Donor to get your ad here.

Tags:
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 8   Go Up
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
 
Jump to:  
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

* Share this topic...
In a forum
(BBCode)
In a site/blog
(HTML)


Related Topics
Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
Why we pray? « 1 2 »
Worship and Ritual
HeartShadow - Cutethulhu 23 5378 Last post April 01, 2007, 10:18:50 am
by treekisser
Preacher asks followers to pray for deaths of AU employees « 1 2 »
Religious News
LyricFox 20 4666 Last post September 04, 2007, 08:29:07 am
by mandrina
Please pray for my cousin
Prayer and Energy Requests
MannyAnalogue 9 2302 Last post November 03, 2009, 07:30:15 pm
by MannyAnalogue
Pray for calmer waters...
Prayer and Energy Requests
Cliona 5 1685 Last post March 30, 2010, 03:36:33 am
by Dark Midnight
How do you pray? « 1 2 »
Pagan Spirituality
Cybella 26 6279 Last post July 11, 2010, 12:48:53 am
by Cybella
EU Cookie Notice: This site uses cookies. By using this site you consent to their use.


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.077 seconds with 49 queries.