coming of age ritual/ceremony - looking for ideas and/or advice on

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[elahrairah]

I have recently renewed my efforts to discover my path and spirituality.  I feel that I've always been on a path, so to speak, in that for me, a lot of the path is the searching process, so I guess one could say my path is that of searching. 

However, in this renewed effort I had a flash of a thought that I needed to conduct a ceremony/ritual that marked the beginning of a new era for me.  This line of thinking was specifically in regard to becoming an adult.  I am the chronological age of an adult ... and then some, but I feel like I am also ready to become an adult spiritually and emotionally speaking. 

My thinking on this began when I saw my stuffed animal which I have had since I was 6.  I loved this ratty thing for many years, but now it really is little more than a stuffed animal to me.  Ordinarily I would give something like this to the Salvation Army or something similar so that another child could love and enjoy it.  However, this is a battered and ratty old thing and I know that most parents would not allow their child to play with such a thing, and rightfully so, even I don't know where it's been.    But this stuffed animal represents the child me, and more importantly I feel it represents my child-like thinking and feeling.  My idea for this ceremony is not to rid/wipe out/forget my childhood or child self.  That is and always will be an important part of myself, but to rather acknowledge that it is there but that it is not the main part that should be in charge.  It is time for the adult to take over, to drive the thinking and feeling.  The child will always be there but it is now time to take care of the child, to nurture it and lovingly discipline it.  There are rules and boundaries that need to be set for this child that has too long had the run of the house. 

So my question is does anyone have any suggestions or cautions on how to go about doing such a thing.  I have a basic/vague idea of what I want to do, but I was looking for any cautions as to the repercussions of doing such a thing.  I don't want to dabble in things I have no right to dabble in or perhaps am not ready to dabble in and just wanted to ask those who are more experienced than I if doing such a thing might be fraught with hazards that I am not taking into consideration.

[Darkhawk]

My immediate thought was that ancient Greek custom was for girls to offer their childhood toys to Artemis when they were getting married, as a sign they were setting aside things-of-childhood for things-of-adulthood.

[alah01]

I have read your post and find it intrigueing. I find myself automatically referring to a ritual from a book that i believe very useful. the ritual I am referring to is a self-dedication rite. In witch it says to open a circle and useing anointing oil, to draw particular symbols on certain parts of the body and concentrate ur desires while gazing into a candle flame. Now I seen on ur profile that you may not be a Solitary wiccan, such as myself. So this may not be perfect for you but hopefully it can give you an idea of somthing you might want to do. I hoped that helped in some degree.

[Star]

Just a quick note, alah01...  Please don't forget to use the quote/reply function when replying and leave the quote code in.  It really helps the rest of us follow the conversation (and is required by our rules).    Thanks!

[elahrairah]

Thank you both for your suggestions.  I will look into both of them more so I can come up with something that fits my needs. 

Thanks again!

elah

[Phoenix_Rae]

... in this renewed effort I had a flash of a thought that I needed to conduct a ceremony/ritual that marked the beginning of a new era for me.  This line of thinking was specifically in regard to becoming an adult.  I am the chronological age of an adult ... and then some, but I feel like I am also ready to become an adult spiritually and emotionally speaking. 

... My idea for this ceremony is not to rid/wipe out/forget my childhood or child self.  That is and always will be an important part of myself, but to rather acknowledge that it is there but that it is not the main part that should be in charge.  It is time for the adult to take over, to drive the thinking and feeling. ...

So my question is does anyone have any suggestions or cautions on how to go about doing such a thing.  I have a basic/vague idea of what I want to do, but I was looking for any cautions as to the repercussions of doing such a thing.  ...

I'm not certain if you are still looking for ideas, but I completely understand where you are coming from. Strangely, I've earned my B.A., been married for 4 years, a Mom for 2, and a Wiccan/Witch for 12 years (8 as "lay", 4 actively practicing). But this year on my 26th birthday I *finally* felt that I have been initiated into adulthood-I finally feel like an adult.

I think that it is good of you to want to honor your child self--I actually did this myself. The magical name I chose in high school was "Brijrian" (for Brigid and Rhiannon). Shortly after my birthday I released this name--but this name has gotten me through a lot of trauma healing, life events, and lessons. So I released it as an honored ancestor--and it is: it is the ancestor of who I am today. To continue to remember and honor my history (and remember the lessons!) I have a rock on my altar which I have placed in honor of "Brijrian".

The biggest repercussion to watch for after this rite is the taking on of responsibility. If you are ready to be an "adult" and have a ceremony marking it so in presence of the Gods--they will take you seriously. I have had several, several lessons in the past few months and responsibilities given/taken on. They (my Dieties) expect me to do work on myself and to improve the world around me (specifically in my family and the local pagan community).

You might want to keep your childhood toy on your altar in memory of who you were and where you came from (after all, your past is always right behind you!). If it is too big, you can take some clay and make a smaller replica of it to keep. Perhaps you would want to bury your special toy (if it is biodegradable) and occasionally visit and honor its' 'grave'. Another idea is to burn it with the intention of honoring and releasing all of the childhood energies to fuel your adult maturation and growth. The most important thing is that your ceremony feel right to you.

I hope you have (or had!) a meaningful rite of passage.

*Phoenix

[elahrairah]

[...]
The biggest repercussion to watch for after this rite is the taking on of responsibility. If you are ready to be an "adult" and have a ceremony marking it so in presence of the Gods--they will take you seriously. I have had several, several lessons in the past few months and responsibilities given/taken on. They (my Dieties) expect me to do work on myself and to improve the world around me (specifically in my family and the local pagan community).

You might want to keep your childhood toy on your altar in memory of who you were and where you came from (after all, your past is always right behind you!). If it is too big, you can take some clay and make a smaller replica of it to keep. Perhaps you would want to bury your special toy (if it is biodegradable) and occasionally visit and honor its' 'grave'. Another idea is to burn it with the intention of honoring and releasing all of the childhood energies to fuel your adult maturation and growth. The most important thing is that your ceremony feel right to you.
[...]

thank you for your reply and for your ideas and suggestions.  it is nice to know that i am not the only "adult" who has felt the need to become an adult in earnest.   i am still meditating and working on what my ceremony will be, i feel that it will be a big endeavor so i must give it the proper attention and make sure that i am truly ready for it.  i very much like your suggestion of keeping a replica of the item to be given back on my altar.  i think that would be a very appropriate way for me to honor my child self and all that i have learned from her.  i am getting closer to being ready to do the ceremony, but i think it will take a few more weeks for me to be truly ready.  and thank you for the heads up on the repercussions of such a ceremony, that is a very important thing for me to keep in mind as i do have a tendency to shy away from responsibilities and i know that is something i need to work on and face head on.  i want to make sure that i do the ceremony during a time when i can give it my full attention and since i am very drawn to the element of earth i am noticing that my time line tends to be long and slow ... like the earth.

thank you again for your ideas.

elah

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