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Author Topic: My latest writing exercise - Comments are welcome  (Read 5248 times)
HeartShadow - Cutethulhu
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« Reply #2: February 01, 2010, 07:33:31 am »


Honestly, the beginning drags SO MUCH it's really hard to care about the characters.  We spend how much time on a hawk that's not even involved in the story?

I gave up halfway through the first chunk - I'm sorry, it just couldn't hold my attention AT ALL.  There's just nothing going on.  The biggest *conflict* is that the one woman spends too much time awake at night frog hunting.

Also, I think the main characters' relationship needs to be explicit - are they good friends, or are they romantic partners?  It feels like you're trying to hint at romance without saying it - and seriously, if I don't even know the relationship between the two main characters who are clearly LIVING TOGETHER .....

I don't know what's going on, and there's nothing drawing me in enough to care.  I really think you started at the wrong point.  Completely.

I really wish I had some positive things to say here, but it really just didn't hold my interest.  I'm sorry.
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