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Author Topic: Protection spell ethics  (Read 4097 times)
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« Topic Start: March 26, 2010, 02:43:19 pm »

My daughter (15) has been a victim of a gang of bullies for some time at school. I have gone through all of the "proper" steps to get this behavior to stop, however it has been a long and difficult process. It has gotten so bad that I have had to arrange counceling for her.

I understand that in order to use a spell, you should first ask permission of the person you are casting for. However, with her being a child, I am reluctant to speak to her in depth about magic. Would it be crossing the line of ethics to use a protection spell without her knowledge?
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« Reply #1: March 26, 2010, 02:52:20 pm »

I understand that in order to use a spell, you should first ask permission of the person you are casting for. However, with her being a child, I am reluctant to speak to her in depth about magic. Would it be crossing the line of ethics to use a protection spell without her knowledge?

Well, that depends on whose ethics you're consulting.  Mine say:  She's your daughter.  It's totally within the job description to protect her.  I tend not to see a great distinction between magic and other tools in terms of ethics; if I'd do it by non-magical means, I feel OK with using magic to do it as well.

But then I also don't tend to do much magic these days, so this is all theoretical for me.  As a result, you should probably take this input with a grain of salt.  Wink
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« Reply #2: March 26, 2010, 03:29:50 pm »

Well, that depends on whose ethics you're consulting.  Mine say:  She's your daughter.  It's totally within the job description to protect her. 

As a mom I agree completly. As her mother you have the right to do what ever is within your powr to protect her. As far as the ethical debate of telling her before you do the spells She is a minor and she is in your care. You would put up a baby gate so that your toddler wouldn't fall down the stairs, and you wouldn't ask their premission first. I think it is the same thing.

 Good luck!
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« Reply #3: March 26, 2010, 04:00:17 pm »

As someone who was bullied myself for many years, I would have appreciated a magic spell. But if the bullying is very bad, I think it might be a good idea to look into changing schools to get her away from these kids.
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« Reply #4: March 26, 2010, 04:18:18 pm »

I understand that in order to use a spell, you should first ask permission of the person you are casting for. However, with her being a child, I am reluctant to speak to her in depth about magic. Would it be crossing the line of ethics to use a protection spell without her knowledge?

Would it be crossing the ethical line to talk to the school officials or the police without getting her permission?  Of course not, she's your daughter -- a minor who is your responsibility. I'd say ethics requires you to do whatever you believe will help protect her.
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« Reply #5: March 26, 2010, 04:37:44 pm »

I understand that in order to use a spell, you should first ask permission of the person you are casting for. However, with her being a child, I am reluctant to speak to her in depth about magic. Would it be crossing the line of ethics to use a protection spell without her knowledge?

While I agree that a 15 year old is under your protection, I *also* think that part of being a 15 year old is beginning to learn (with lots of support from caring adults in their lives) how to deal with things on their own. More to the point, 15 years old is old enough to have independence of action that might sabotage your magical work, if she doesn't know it's there. And on an entirely practical level, she's the one in the best position to figure out whether a particular approach is working, and it's a lot easier for her to do that if she knows all of the things in play.

There's nothing that says you have to go into great detail - but it would be possible to have a discussion with her about "We're trying all the mainstream and logical things here, but I'd also like to try something magical: would you be up for that?", a brief description of what you have in mind, and what she should pay attention for. Maybe that's something like "I'm going to make you a talisman to wear to discourage bullying: will you wear it for a week, and let me know what changes?" She doesn't need to know the details of charging the talisman yet if you prefer, but if you want her to wear it, it'll go better if she knows why. That kind of thing.

(I'll also say that while I wouldn't start a 15 year old on work directly related to initiatory training, I know plenty of 15 year olds who are mature and thoughtful enough to handle basic discussions of centering, grounding, shielding, and basic personal protection magical approaches - and just like learning how to use the Internet wisely, or drive a car, or many other things, there are a lot of benefits to them learning from parents or other well-known adults in their life,  rather than on their own later.)
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« Reply #6: March 27, 2010, 12:17:01 am »

My daughter (15) has been a victim of a gang of bullies for some time at school. I have gone through all of the "proper" steps to get this behavior to stop, however it has been a long and difficult process. It has gotten so bad that I have had to arrange counceling for her.

I understand that in order to use a spell, you should first ask permission of the person you are casting for. However, with her being a child, I am reluctant to speak to her in depth about magic. Would it be crossing the line of ethics to use a protection spell without her knowledge?

I do think that you are within your rights ethically to do a protection spell. However I think that it could be disturbing for her to find out later that you were doing magic on her witout her permission. But I also think that doing anything to protect her whether magical or otherwise without telling her would not be the way to go. In my experience 15 year olds think they are far more grown up then they are and do not react well to being excluded from decisions which affect them. However you know your own daughter and know what she is like so you are probably better able to judge how she would react than me. Good luck
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« Reply #7: March 28, 2010, 12:26:44 am »

Thanks for everyones input here. I have taken a lesson from all and have decided to combine what I have learned here with what feels right to me.

Today I went to the shop of someone I know and admire. While She is Pagan, she does not practice the craft, but sells many tools of the trade. I found the prefect crystal charm which I brought to another well respected friend who cast a spell for both peace and protection. My fiancee, who is Shaman, also put his protective energies into it. (yes, maybe over-kill but how can you love your child too much?). When the moon is full, I will perform my own ritual to add to her safety since the situation has taken a violent turn...  Sad

When we present this charm to my daughter, I will explain the love and protective energies that have been put in to it, but also explain that the true energy required to make it work comes from within her. Our hope is to empower her with the tools to deal with negative energies without letting them hurt her so deeply. To take away their power over her. Wish us luck...
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« Reply #8: April 12, 2010, 06:38:24 am »

My daughter (15) has been a victim of a gang of bullies for some time at school. I have gone through all of the "proper" steps to get this behavior to stop, however it has been a long and difficult process. It has gotten so bad that I have had to arrange counceling for her.

I understand that in order to use a spell, you should first ask permission of the person you are casting for. However, with her being a child, I am reluctant to speak to her in depth about magic. Would it be crossing the line of ethics to use a protection spell without her knowledge?

Any chance of moving schools? Sometimes it can be the best solution...
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« Reply #9: May 07, 2010, 06:02:35 pm »

Thanks for everyones input here. I have taken a lesson from all and have decided to combine what I have learned here with what feels right to me.

Today I went to the shop of someone I know and admire. While She is Pagan, she does not practice the craft, but sells many tools of the trade. I found the prefect crystal charm which I brought to another well respected friend who cast a spell for both peace and protection. My fiancee, who is Shaman, also put his protective energies into it. (yes, maybe over-kill but how can you love your child too much?). When the moon is full, I will perform my own ritual to add to her safety since the situation has taken a violent turn...  Sad

When we present this charm to my daughter, I will explain the love and protective energies that have been put in to it, but also explain that the true energy required to make it work comes from within her. Our hope is to empower her with the tools to deal with negative energies without letting them hurt her so deeply. To take away their power over her. Wish us luck...

I'm certainly not a mom, nor am I much experienced with paganism of any variety, but to me this sounds very wise and well thought-out. I like that you're having various people who care about her put their own touches on it. Here's hoping it and mundane measures work in combination to improve the situation. Smiley
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