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Author Topic: Feeling stuck.  (Read 3163 times)
Luth
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« Topic Start: April 07, 2010, 11:20:09 pm »

I just joined the forums so I'll give you some background.

I've been reading books on Wicca and practicing on and off for about 12 years. I grew up in a strict Catholic home and felt forced to believe things that didn't feel right to me. I started reading up on other religions to find what fit best with the belief I had in my heart. Many pagan religions struck a cord with me and led me to Wicca.  Through college and married life I have been studying on and off. I have had to remain in the closet since I started my journey and I feel like it has hindered me because I could never seem to find enough time to myself to focus on my reading. Thankfully my Husband knows and is open to it, but we are always on the go.

 Today, I'm a stay at home mom with two kids and I watch my niece 3 days a week. I have been on "break" from practicing because of this for 3 years and now feel the need to get back to it. But I feel stuck. I can't practice the way I use to because of limited time (kids and family obligations).  I try to reconnect and I hit a wall, I have all these ideas in my head that I can't seem to do. I'm second guessing myself and drawing blanks when I try to journal or can't focus when I try to meditate.  I have thought that maybe I'm too wrapped up in my kids, keeping the house up, and family obligations to rekindle my spirituality.  I'm a little frustrated at myself for not "just making the time," but as any mom knows, time for yourself is few and far between most days.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? How did you get unstuck? What type of simple rituals do you do? How do you balance family and faith? I would like to at least do a ritual on the Sabbats but need some very simple ones that don't take much time. any suggestions?

Thank you for listening. I'm sorry if my thoughts seem all over the place, seems to be my way lately.

Luth

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Luth
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« Reply #1: April 07, 2010, 11:56:34 pm »

 Note to self: search forum for my answers before posting.
So sorry. After looking around the other threads I saw some similar posts. If anyone still wants to respond to this one, any advice is welcome.

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~"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children"~ The Crow.
Rocquelaire
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« Reply #2: April 08, 2010, 04:58:31 am »

Note to self: search forum for my answers before posting.
So sorry. After looking around the other threads I saw some similar posts. If anyone still wants to respond to this one, any advice is welcome.


Hi Luth,
I understand just how you're feeling and asked a similar question the other day. If you have a look at my post, I got some really helpful replies, espicially from Jenette. Reading that might help you out. Unfortunately I can't give you much advice as I'm in a similar position but sometimes it helps to know you're not alone. If you feel like comparing notes on what works or just chatting to another beginner please feel free to message me.

In love and light
Rocquelaire
« Last Edit: April 08, 2010, 06:58:35 am by Star, Reason: Fixing quote code » Logged
Luth
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« Reply #3: April 08, 2010, 10:20:22 am »


Hi Luth,
I understand just how you're feeling and asked a similar question the other day. If you have a look at my post, I got some really helpful replies, espicially from Jenette. Reading that might help you out. Unfortunately I can't give you much advice as I'm in a similar position but sometimes it helps to know you're not alone. If you feel like comparing notes on what works or just chatting to another beginner please feel free to message me.

In love and light
Rocquelaire

Thanks Rocquelaire. It does help to know i'm not alone in this. I would love to chat. I'll send you a message soon.

BB
Luth
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folksymama
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« Reply #4: April 08, 2010, 10:56:03 am »


Thank you for listening. I'm sorry if my thoughts seem all over the place, seems to be my way lately.

Luth



I didn't read the other post, so I'll respond to yours.  I'm not on the same path as you, but I do have four children that I stay home with, so I can identify on that level.  My first bit of advice would be to find a way to incorporate your children into your ritual as much as possible.  Here, we have a simple ritual on full moon nights.  We say a little poem, go out and look at the moon, light some incense and play music. It's fun and the kids really love it.  I homeschool as well, and love that my kids actually know the phases of the moon, so we use the ritual to incorporate a little science lesson in as well.

I also celebrate the holidays with simple kid friendly rituals.  We do a craft, talk about the changing seasons, cook, bake,decorate, and sing. 

It's hard to carve out time for myself so the adult portion of most of my rituals has become some time to myself in front of the fire at samhain or beltane after the kids go to bed, or a walk through the woods alone, stopping to meditate a little while husband does kid duty. 

The major difference being that I am "permitted" because of my path to do these kinds of things.  With Wicca, I believe, the specifics are much more important and there's not as much room for winging it.

I would also recommend looking into a UU church.  Some of them are very good, some decidedly Christian so YMMV, but I have found it a good way to incorporate that sense of a spiritually community in an area where it's very hard to find people of like belief.
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AmberHeart
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« Reply #5: April 08, 2010, 07:21:30 pm »

I just joined the forums so I'll give you some background.

I've been reading books on Wicca and practicing on and off for about 12 years. I grew up in a strict Catholic home and felt forced to believe things that didn't feel right to me. I started reading up on other religions to find what fit best with the belief I had in my heart. Many pagan religions struck a cord with me and led me to Wicca.  Through college and married life I have been studying on and off. I have had to remain in the closet since I started my journey and I feel like it has hindered me because I could never seem to find enough time to myself to focus on my reading. Thankfully my Husband knows and is open to it, but we are always on the go.

 Today, I'm a stay at home mom with two kids and I watch my niece 3 days a week. I have been on "break" from practicing because of this for 3 years and now feel the need to get back to it. But I feel stuck. I can't practice the way I use to because of limited time (kids and family obligations).  I try to reconnect and I hit a wall, I have all these ideas in my head that I can't seem to do. I'm second guessing myself and drawing blanks when I try to journal or can't focus when I try to meditate.  I have thought that maybe I'm too wrapped up in my kids, keeping the house up, and family obligations to rekindle my spirituality.  I'm a little frustrated at myself for not "just making the time," but as any mom knows, time for yourself is few and far between most days.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? How did you get unstuck? What type of simple rituals do you do? How do you balance family and faith? I would like to at least do a ritual on the Sabbats but need some very simple ones that don't take much time. any suggestions?

Thank you for listening. I'm sorry if my thoughts seem all over the place, seems to be my way lately.

Luth



You have already rekindled your spirituality. It is the orthopraxy of being Wiccan that you have to figure out again in your life today.

Witches are and remain autonomous and as a solitary practitioner, you actually do have wiggle room.

That said, certain core beliefs do need to be there in some form for what someone does to be recognisable as being the Religion of Wicca. 

If you believe in the Gods of Wicca and have an individual connection to Them, then you are practising Wicca.

If you believe in the existence of witchcraft, even if you choose not to practice the Craft itself, then you have that core belief in place as well.

Celebrating the Sabbats, one of your concerns.

Observing or marking the Esbats. Most Trads use the Esbats for group meetings after all and you are not part of a group. So for you, it can be as simple as noting where the moon is monthly or doing something simple to mark the Full or New Moons.

Not every Wiccan can practise the Sacred Marriage even as the Blade and Chalice but that is another core concept.

I suspect you already figured out that Wicca cannot be taught but must be experienced, if so, check that one off.

Constant improvement, self-responsibility and some form of a law of balance, all core concepts although the much later addition of the Rede isn’t. That is just a guideline that doesn’t even address harming none. 

All the rest of those lists of disciplines one finds labelled as Wiccan like journalising, mediating, divination, magic, etc, are not core beliefs. They are not Wiccan either. They are what individual Witches choose to do in addition to celebrating their religion.

Consider the following. As the Charge of the Goddess puts it, "all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals." Every thing we do within our life with love, commitment and joy is and becomes sacred. Enacting the sacred honours the Gods. Looking after your children in a home filled with love and laughter, is sacred. Cooking a meal for your family, is sacred. Cleaning your house, is sacred. Strengthening and honouring your family relationships, is sacred. And from that perspective, one's entire home can even be considered as one's altar as well.

So embody your beliefs and honour the Gods by just being where you need to be right now. You will be learning and deepening your spirituality through experiencing. Weave in whatever simple ritual strands work for you like Sabbats that are inclusive of the whole family and gently mark the Esbats. Seek to constantly improve, to be self-responsible and consider your actions in the light of balance and thoughtfulness of consequences.  The rest of being Wiccan…is about beliefs that are already part of you or the specifics of unique Traditions, which you are not part of right now.


Amber






 
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ladybugmullen
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« Reply #6: April 09, 2010, 04:54:30 pm »

I just joined the forums so I'll give you some background.

I've been reading books on Wicca and practicing on and off for about 12 years. I grew up in a strict Catholic home and felt forced to believe things that didn't feel right to me. I started reading up on other religions to find what fit best with the belief I had in my heart. Many pagan religions struck a cord with me and led me to Wicca.  Through college and married life I have been studying on and off. I have had to remain in the closet since I started my journey and I feel like it has hindered me because I could never seem to find enough time to myself to focus on my reading. Thankfully my Husband knows and is open to it, but we are always on the go.

 Today, I'm a stay at home mom with two kids and I watch my niece 3 days a week. I have been on "break" from practicing because of this for 3 years and now feel the need to get back to it. But I feel stuck. I can't practice the way I use to because of limited time (kids and family obligations).  I try to reconnect and I hit a wall, I have all these ideas in my head that I can't seem to do. I'm second guessing myself and drawing blanks when I try to journal or can't focus when I try to meditate.  I have thought that maybe I'm too wrapped up in my kids, keeping the house up, and family obligations to rekindle my spirituality.  I'm a little frustrated at myself for not "just making the time," but as any mom knows, time for yourself is few and far between most days.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? How did you get unstuck? What type of simple rituals do you do? How do you balance family and faith? I would like to at least do a ritual on the Sabbats but need some very simple ones that don't take much time. any suggestions?

Thank you for listening. I'm sorry if my thoughts seem all over the place, seems to be my way lately.

Luth



Luth... I saw your post as I am too "stuck" to find proper time. What you have written could have been me. However, I was raised in a house where religion was called "organized crime".  I am a "half" stay at home mother (I work the 3-11 shift at the hospital) after taking care of the kids all day long, and the house, bills, shopping ext... I have 3 (twin 3 year olds and a 5 year old) kids and have been practicing on and off as a solitary witch for the last 16 years and have only recently felt like I could rekindle my focus for Wicca and actually have the ability to do what I need to do. However, as easily as that is said finding the time, place, quiet and just the personal focus to do what I need to do is time consuming next to all my other responsiblities.

For the family you could try this: I incorporate my kids into aspects of wicca, making it just a part of the house routine. We have "moon parties" where we gaze at the moon, garden, take walk in the local redwoods, talk about nature and the importance of connectivity between all things living on the earth. We cook, bake and just do stuff that later will make sense to them that I was giving them a basic structure for future learning if they so desire to follow their mothers path.

However, when it comes to making time for yourself I would be inappropriate for me to give you any ideas since I have not found any for myself, just know that you are not alone in your persuits for this   

LBM
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Luth
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« Reply #7: April 09, 2010, 09:16:35 pm »

Luth... I saw your post as I am too "stuck" to find proper time. What you have written could have been me. However, I was raised in a house where religion was called "organized crime".  I am a "half" stay at home mother (I work the 3-11 shift at the hospital) after taking care of the kids all day long, and the house, bills, shopping ext... I have 3 (twin 3 year olds and a 5 year old) kids and have been practicing on and off as a solitary witch for the last 16 years and have only recently felt like I could rekindle my focus for Wicca and actually have the ability to do what I need to do. However, as easily as that is said finding the time, place, quiet and just the personal focus to do what I need to do is time consuming next to all my other responsiblities.

For the family you could try this: I incorporate my kids into aspects of wicca, making it just a part of the house routine. We have "moon parties" where we gaze at the moon, garden, take walk in the local redwoods, talk about nature and the importance of connectivity between all things living on the earth. We cook, bake and just do stuff that later will make sense to them that I was giving them a basic structure for future learning if they so desire to follow their mothers path.

However, when it comes to making time for yourself I would be inappropriate for me to give you any ideas since I have not found any for myself, just know that you are not alone in your persuits for this   

LBM

I have a 2.5yr old and a 9mo old, and I watch my niece who just turned 1yr old. My niece should be leaving my care soon. I hope this helps give me more energy by the time my hubs gets home so I can take some time to myself. Right now my niece sometimes doesn't get picked up till 7pm. We'll see how that works out.

As for incorporating the kids.... I struggle with this a little. One side of me doesn't want to get them to involved because I don't want them feeling pushed to believe what mommy believes. I was brought up Catholic and resented it and my parents when I ventured to other paths.  Took me a while to get over it. So I even question myself at times if it's right for me to have family traditions for the Sabbats that involve the kids, or do I leave it at a personal quite celebration. Plus the rest of my family celebrates Christian holidays, so the kids are getting that side of faith as well.
 The other side of me is I want to educate them on all beliefs and let them choose their path. My hubs is Taoist and we have decided not to "raise" them one or the other. Right now I decorate the home for the Sabbats and simply explain the seasons to them (in 2 year old words of course, lol).
Thoughts?

I'm feeling a little more focused since my original post and I thank you all for your responses. 
Ladybug, feel free to message me anytime if you wanna chat. Especially if you come up with any tips for us Smiley

BB
Luth

 
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RootRealm
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« Reply #8: June 28, 2010, 01:07:57 am »

Consider the following. As the Charge of the Goddess puts it, "all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals." Every thing we do within our life with love, commitment and joy is and becomes sacred. So embody your beliefs and honour the Gods by just being where you need to be right now.


 

I second that.  I also have experienced getting stuck if I set myself up with some type of ritual or discipline that I "have to" do regularly, and then what to do when I don't feel like it.  Gradually I found a way to make "where I am now" a doorway into either my relationship with the Goddess, or my Magical practice.  WHen I'm feeling joy, I can offer my joy to the Goddess, when I feel stuck, I offer my stuckness to her.  I sense that she appreciates either gift as heartfelt.
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If you live according to an example, you live the life of that example.  There is only one way and that is your way.  You seek the path? I warn you away from my own.  May each go his own way....  ---Carl Jung

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