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Author Topic: When I get old....  (Read 5830 times)
AmberHeart
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« Topic Start: April 09, 2010, 07:00:18 am »

...apart from wearing purple...if the day arrives when I can't manage on my own....what happens to me as a practising Pagan?

Options will vary depending on where one lives but most retirement communities or complexes that I know of are either Christian-oriented, occasionally Jewish or the kind of secular places that one hopes not to end up in.

Throw in factors like no children, no SO, rarely involved extended family and caring though also aging friends and the possibility of dementia which runs in my family. On the other hand, my passing ceremony I've already organized according to my Tradition so not a concern.

So what happens to an aging Pagan Witch who will want to celebrate the Sabbats and Esbats? (Mind you, if I do go gaga, I probably won't remember either Tongue)

Anyone else considered this issue....or perhaps you are all too young to do so as yet?

Amber
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« Reply #1: April 09, 2010, 08:05:07 am »

Options will vary depending on where one lives but most retirement communities or complexes that I know of are either Christian-oriented, occasionally Jewish or the kind of secular places that one hopes not to end up in.

Most of the ones in my area are secular and barely okay from what I've seen.  My mother, however, lives in a nice one in Kentucky.  For the overall question, I must say that I've never given it much thought, although at 52, I probably should.
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« Reply #2: April 09, 2010, 08:09:29 am »

...apart from wearing purple...

Anyone else considered this issue....or perhaps you are all too young to do so as yet?


Considering it's my 47th birthday today, yeah, I've started to think about these things. My paganism is fairly private and solitary in practice, so I'm not so much concerned about that. But considering the generation of gay men ahead of me was the first to begin living an out gay life, and considering that that generation was largely decimated by AIDS, I wonder how my peers and I will pioneer being old, out, and gay.

I think some of the concerns overlap (esp. since, as you mentioned is your case, so many gay men don't have kids to take care of them in their old age). Whether gay or pagan, the concern is that being markedly different from the widely accepted norm may adversely affect your quality of life, what your options are, and how you're treated when you're at the mercy of others.

What might help would be to seek retirement/assisted living in a college town. Not only do they tend to be little pockets of more open-mindedness, but they tend to foster a fair number of cultural options, and perhaps some continuing education opportunities. Think of all the newly minted college-age pagans we could de-fluff with our wisdom of the elders! And maybe some altruistic college student will visit us as his/her geriatric volunteer project.

BTW, what's "wearing purple" about? I don't get it.
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« Reply #3: April 09, 2010, 08:15:01 am »

BTW, what's "wearing purple" about? I don't get it.

It's a reference to this poem:
http://labyrinth_3.tripod.com/page59.html
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« Reply #4: April 09, 2010, 08:28:56 am »

It's a reference to this poem:
http://labyrinth_3.tripod.com/page59.html

Thanks, Star. I like that very much.

I've never seen it before; is it widely known, esp. among us pagans or something?
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« Reply #5: April 09, 2010, 08:31:08 am »

Thanks, Star. I like that very much.

I've never seen it before; is it widely known, esp. among us pagans or something?

It's fairly widely known, though I wouldn't say among pagans.

Possibly among women, though. Smiley
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« Reply #6: April 09, 2010, 08:35:18 am »

It's fairly widely known, though I wouldn't say among pagans.

Possibly among women, though. Smiley

::nods::  It's definitely not a pagan thing; it's more of a...  general women's culture thing, if there is such a thing?  It's even spawned a whole society of women who dress in purple, with red hats, to get together for...  I dunno, tea or outings or something.  Not something that personally appeals to me (though maybe I'll change my mind in a few years when I get closer to the appropriate age, but I doubt it), but it's fairly well-known.

(I'll stop sidetracking now, though, sorry!)
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« Reply #7: April 09, 2010, 01:56:16 pm »

Anyone else considered this issue....or perhaps you are all too young to do so as yet?

Amber

I've thought about it, but more along the lines of power of attorney. A great-uncle of mine is stuck in a home with no contact with his family, because he married a young woman who took all his money, because his power of attorney, and now doesn't allow anyone to see him and said he's "crazy". My grandmother (who is his sister) is fighting in court for the right to see him. My parents also recently did their wills and power of attorney (which is a mutual friend of theirs, not each other), so thats why it's also on my mind.

I figure by the time I get old enough to require to be in a home, we'll be a lot more open about things like sexuality and religion, seeing as I'm a part of a general that is growing increasingly upset with intolerance towards both. Doesn't help you now, though. :\ Sorry.
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« Reply #8: April 09, 2010, 03:36:42 pm »

....
Amber

I'm not sure really, how i'll be pagan when the time comes.  but since i work in a nursing home, (secular, but really, the only religion in there is Christian) we all joke about how we're going to be.  My comment is when I'm in the nursing home with Alzheimer's I'm going to play with the carts.  They'll have to obey to rules and keep the carts locked when I'm awake.  No, Katrina, you can't do treatments today, here, have this clipboard and pen and go do the quality control checklist before breakfast.  Do it from the doors, don't go in the rooms.  katrina come back here with the med cart.  the Blood pressure cuff is missing has anyone seen katrina?
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« Reply #9: April 09, 2010, 10:06:36 pm »

My comment is when I'm in the nursing home with Alzheimer's I'm going to play with the carts.  They'll have to obey to rules and keep the carts locked when I'm awake.  No, Katrina, you can't do treatments today, here, have this clipboard and pen and go do the quality control checklist before breakfast.  Do it from the doors, don't go in the rooms.  katrina come back here with the med cart.  the Blood pressure cuff is missing has anyone seen katrina?
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« Reply #10: April 09, 2010, 11:50:01 pm »

Options will vary depending on where one lives but most retirement communities or complexes that I know of are either Christian-oriented, occasionally Jewish or the kind of secular places that one hopes not to end up in.

Screw religion.  How will they deal with my music collection, visceral sense of humor, and my unwillingness to put up with people's moronic crap.  I suspect my beliefs will seem like small potatoes compared to the rest.

Of course, if I end up in a nursing home I'd have to be a vegetable.  Not gonna happen as long as I have will and breath in my body.

Brina
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« Reply #11: April 10, 2010, 12:00:13 am »

I've never seen it before; is it widely known, esp. among us pagans or something?

It' not pagan but there's a pretty big group called The Red Hat Society, that bases it's dress code from the poem.

http://www.redhatsociety.com/aboutus/howitstarted.html
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« Reply #12: April 10, 2010, 03:30:22 pm »

Considering it's my 47th birthday today, yeah, I've started to think about these things. My paganism is fairly private and solitary in practice, so I'm not so much concerned about that. But considering the generation of gay men ahead of me was the first to begin living an out gay life, and considering that that generation was largely decimated by AIDS, I wonder how my peers and I will pioneer being old, out, and gay.

I think some of the concerns overlap (esp. since, as you mentioned is your case, so many gay men don't have kids to take care of them in their old age). Whether gay or pagan, the concern is that being markedly different from the widely accepted norm may adversely affect your quality of life, what your options are, and how you're treated when you're at the mercy of others.

What might help would be to seek retirement/assisted living in a college town. Not only do they tend to be little pockets of more open-mindedness, but they tend to foster a fair number of cultural options, and perhaps some continuing education opportunities. Think of all the newly minted college-age pagans we could de-fluff with our wisdom of the elders! And maybe some altruistic college student will visit us as his/her geriatric volunteer project.

BTW, what's "wearing purple" about? I don't get it.

Altair,

http://labyrinth_3.tripod.com/page59.html  Warning  - When I get old, I will wear purple… my late mother had this taped to her fridge for years….when I think getting old…I think of this poem.   Tongue

Amber
Interesting idea about college towns...although if one has lived in a larger community for decades, moving somewhere where one doesn't know anyone could have its own issues.
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AmberHeart
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« Reply #13: April 10, 2010, 03:31:07 pm »

It's a reference to this poem:
http://labyrinth_3.tripod.com/page59.html

Whoops...didn't see that when I posted..thanks Star.
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AmberHeart
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« Reply #14: April 10, 2010, 03:32:10 pm »

::nods::  It's definitely not a pagan thing; it's more of a...  general women's culture thing, if there is such a thing?  It's even spawned a whole society of women who dress in purple, with red hats, to get together for...  I dunno, tea or outings or something.  Not something that personally appeals to me (though maybe I'll change my mind in a few years when I get closer to the appropriate age, but I doubt it), but it's fairly well-known.

(I'll stop sidetracking now, though, sorry!)

Yes definitely not pagan although it was fairly widely known in the Women's Spirituality Movement....lots of Pagans there. But really just a women's thing.

Amber
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