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Author Topic: "Average-Jane" Pagans?  (Read 19584 times)
Mithril
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« Reply #45: June 03, 2007, 09:44:42 pm »


Clothing is one indicator. It's generally acceptable for people to come to pagan events and rituals dressed ways that would not be acceptable in other religious gatherings. Nor is there an unwritten dress code for the pagan community of what unique clothing is acceptable. For example, midieval fantasy (cloaks, robes, kilts, similar) might be unacceptable at many mainstread churches, but are normal at SCA events. (yeah, I know SCA isn't a church).  The pagan community wants to appear open and inclusive. So, not only are midival fantasy clothes accepted, so are Goth and just about any other subculture. (Hmm, wonder what the reaction would be to burkahs?)

True, but what about when people are emphasing diversity and non-conformity, the 'normal' styles almost become unacceptable. Sometimes people are so in to being non-conformists that they look down on people that give the appearance of being conformists.

I'm not a t-shirt and jeans type of girl, but I'm not Goth, punk, or anything of that sort either. Going to my first pagan gathering will be scary enough as it is, and people wearing vampire clothes and makeup, and goth stikes and chains would probably be enough to make me turn and run away. I know you can't judge people completely by the clothes they wear, but they allow you to make educated guesses. You can't possibly get to know everyone at a Pagan gathering, so you need to the clothes to asses what might happen. Will I be able to talkt to these people? Do any of them look like they'd put me in a situation that I'd want to avoid?

That's what I meant in 'Respectable Pagans'.

Edit: And wow, you guys have gotten really off topic. LOL.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2007, 10:00:21 pm by Mithril » Logged

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Mog
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« Reply #46: June 10, 2007, 08:22:00 pm »


Some of the distancing aspects... I felt "kooky"

Not everything was uncomfortable... not when I was alone, reading, writing, meditating on my own, etc... but I never did find a connection with any other Wiccans (in my area) that I felt I had a thing in common with... there was often a self-righteous aire about the community... almost as uncomfortable as the Christian communities I grew up with...

I want to feel comfortable with a "Pagan" friend that I know closely shares most of my beliefs... so that we have that in common -- but I'd like it if she just wore jeans... and if she didn't mind having a "trendy" haircut or taking in a charity benefit wearing a department store outfit instead of a robe  Grin

<snip> are there many Pagan individuals who just basically walk around behaving like the average joe yet take to heart their religious beliefs and history without wearing it on their sleeves in such an obvious manner?

Respectfully,
Dazzled 'n Frazzled




If you are most comfortable and most congruent about being with people whose looks don't draw a lot of attention then that's fine; hanging out with a set of people who you feel incongrous with is unlikely to yeild great results - and there are plenty of jeans wearing practising pagans out there who don't own (let alone wear in public) occult baubles, robes and other ritual appropriate get up. I'm one of them and I'm friends with several more in my ome town... Be aware, we are harder to "pick" for this reason.

There's a spectrum among pagans, as amonst other folks of other faiths from "looks like anybody in the office" to "full blown attention seeking uber freak".... a tendancy to wear flowing skirts, flowing scarves and ankle bracelets seems to fall somehere in the middle.... Wink

Find yourself a nice inconspicuos "straight" looking pagan friend if that's what makes you comfortable - and perhaps, if you like self development, stretch yourself a little at a time by learning to appreciate and enjoy small deviations from this norm via a succession of new friends and associates, each of whom will only be a tiny bit "kookier" than the last. As you get t now the people you may find that it's not about getting attention, or being different for it's own sake, you may find that they just really enjoy hand knotted string vests worn overhemp underwear because it reminds them of Summers in the hills with grandma  Grin

A lot of folks into "fringe" religions are into other "fringe" ways of expression - so you might find they have totally ordinary dress sense but something else that's a little "kooky"- from ther political or social stance, to their approach to cooking and lifestyle, or a creative expression that defy's first impressions... when it comes to the "kooky" the clothes can be the least confronting.

There is NOTHING wrong with introducing yourself to a large community by starting at the end of the spectrum you are comfortable with, and allowing a natural progression to take place from there - do what you are congruent about, anything else is a waste of time and energy.
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Purplewitch
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« Reply #47: June 11, 2007, 12:21:44 pm »


There's a spectrum among pagans, as amonst other folks of other faiths from "looks like anybody in the office" to "full blown attention seeking uber freak".... a tendancy to wear flowing skirts, flowing scarves and ankle bracelets seems to fall somehere in the middle.... Wink
Ok, I admit I've only skimmed... I don't do community much but that's a me thing - I don't do people very well :p And I'm trying to work on that one now winter is over and demonspawn is getting older.

As for looking... average... I guess even with a tattoo, that's kind of me... kind of. I stick out no matter what, for starters by being the british wench in the heart of calgary - especially when SOMEONE has a habit of answering truthfully the question 'what made her come all the way here?' .. "Me (him)"
That's besides the point though, when it comes to how I look, generally I don't look that far off the average scale.

Quote
A lot of folks into "fringe" religions are into other "fringe" ways of expression - so you might find they have totally ordinary dress sense but something else that's a little "kooky"- from ther political or social stance, to their approach to cooking and lifestyle, or a creative expression that defy's first impressions... when it comes to the "kooky" the clothes can be the least confronting.

The outside is relatively more 'normal' and 'average' than the rest of it. Those who know me... would probably agree that the inside is a lot less normal than the outside lol
You guys know my MiL has a tendency to proudly tell anyone and everyone her DiL is a witch... which I just discovered comes partly from how she found out.

Quote
are there many Pagan individuals who just basically walk around behaving like the average joe yet take to heart their religious beliefs and history without wearing it on their sleeves in such an obvious manner?

So I guess, to the casual observer, that's me.
What's inside, and what's there when you look a little closer, is another matter Smiley
Get too close and look too deep, and as I warned himself, you better get used to strange being normal Wink
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« Reply #48: June 30, 2007, 08:33:22 am »

Quote
Sometimes I help out in a pagan-y store a friend of mine owns.  The clientele is extremely diverse.  I have seen every type of person come in, from the ones dressed in business suits to the ones dressed "hippy" to the ones in basketball jerseys and tons of bling.  The one thing that is really obvious to me is that you really CAN'T judge someone's spirituality by their looks.

Am I the only one who thought of 50 cent with blinged out pagan symbols thanking The Morrigan at the grammy's?
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« Reply #49: June 30, 2007, 10:31:55 am »

So I guess, to the casual observer, that's me.
What's inside, and what's there when you look a little closer, is another matter Smiley
Get too close and look too deep, and as I warned himself, you better get used to strange being normal Wink
    <After reading this post thread>  Will SOMEBODY please direct me to the normal people??   LOL   Can't find a one!    Grin
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« Reply #50: June 30, 2007, 10:39:36 am »

    <After reading this post thread>  Will SOMEBODY please direct me to the normal people??   LOL   Can't find a one!    Grin
     No Nevermind!  I'd probably run screaming in the other direction or at very least be awestruck to learn that I wasn't normal by someone else's perception!    Wink
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