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Author Topic: Children and Your Altar.  (Read 12612 times)
Star
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« Reply #40: October 19, 2010, 07:34:27 am »

Nope. I work in retail, I have to disagree. I do see the good ones. I actually comment to the parents when the kids say "Thank you" and "yes ma'am" and wait to talk so that they aren't interrupting. I definitely see the good ones. And I see the ones that are pitching fits that the parents don't tolerate-- like the ones who WILL leave the store that I work in, or that I am visiting, or are out in the park, whatever.  So, I see both-- but I see one a hell of a lot less than the other. 

Yeah, but...  Shadow's point still stands, I think:  It's not all about the parenting.  Kids are not machines that uniformly give the same response to any given stimulus.  There isn't some magic one-size-fits-all approach to parenting that will guarantee a perfect, well-behaved little angel of a child.

For that matter, parents themselves aren't automatons either--as adults we've got more control over our responses, but that doesn't mean that we're perfect.  Sometimes we mess up.  Sometimes we don't know what we're doing (kids don't come with an operator's manual, after all), and we're just trying to do our best, and that might not match up with your idea of what's best.  Sometimes we're still searching for the particular technique that is effective for our child in a given situation.  Sometimes we know we're not making the ideal choices from a disciplinary standpoint, but there are other factors that interfere with that.  (I have once or twice, for instance, rushed through the grocery shopping with a fussy child rather than walk out because I knew I would not get another chance to do the food shopping, and if I walked out we wouldn't have anything to eat that week.)  Sometimes the lesson being taught isn't "this is how you behave in a public place", but rather "you are not the only person whose opinion counts in this family, and we are not going home just because you'd rather watch Dora than go shopping"--which is important too.  None of that means that we're not enforcing discipline.  It means that we're human beings, and so are our kids.

I don't deny that there are parents who could use a backbone transplant.  As a parent who is trying but whose kid still acts up sometimes, though, it's really disturbing and frustrating to me to be lumped into the same group with those people who give in to their child's every whim just because my kid occasionally forgets her manners.
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