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Author Topic: [Rant] Warning: Misanthropist at play  (Read 1533 times)
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Last Login:September 02, 2010, 01:10:37 am
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Kerian.Nox BandedNagini

« Topic Start: September 02, 2010, 01:10:26 am »

Just watched a thread with great fun potential get derailed to the point of tragedy. NOT NICE THINGS HAPPENED IN PEOPLE'S LIVES. I get it. I lived it. Many posts (threads!) in the Cauldron are nightmare/cold-sweat/I-need-a-hug triggers for me as well. That is not the responsibility of the poster. I am not going to hijack a thread to fly my grievances with the various sources of emotional and physical pain I'm hobbled by. And I am quite tired and disgusted of watching so many promising threads suffer exactly that.

I'm a horrible mother. I revel in it. I delight in it. I'm downright evil, sadistic, and fear-inducing. And I've read enough 'feedback' to know my style of parenting is apparently too horrid for others to read. Ok. Done. Message received. Never again on this forum will I speak of anything personal. *spit*

If you have something to say to me... SAY IT! If you're afraid of public interaction, private message me! If you're concerned about doing it on this forum, I'm reachable away from here. But DO NOT bend someone else's thread over the sawhorse of your intimate hurts and punish it with acidic screeching. You are doing the very thing to the original poster, that you are crying about.

My grievance isn't the reaction to my choice of discipline. Hate me. Revile me. Project upon me all your muffled screams and bitter tears from your childhood. Light candles, if you wish, for the poor, broken, and weeping soul of my despairingly and utterly abused daughter. Dump on me. It's ok. You're not the first to view me as the manifestation of the befouled drippings of a warped and primitive soul. I laugh at you. I mock you. If pointing fingers at me while hissing "UNCLEAN!" helps you work through your issues, please, I invite it. My blood and kin consider me an unholy bastard because I was conceived. You'll just be stating fact.

But don't do it in someone else's thread. Don't jackboot them because I got a rise out of you. Not when I'm standing here, waiting for the lash of your verbal whip willingly.

~huffs and puffs and catches her breath~ ~is expecting to be asked (politely) to no longer participate in this forum~ ~probably won't be for several days, if only to cool off~

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ilaynay starcr
« Reply #1: September 02, 2010, 07:35:48 am »

~huffs and puffs and catches her breath~ ~is expecting to be asked (politely) to no longer participate in this forum~ ~probably won't be for several days, if only to cool off~

*** MOD HAT ON ***You are not going to be asked to leave over one incident.  If nothing else, if we felt like you needed to leave that badly, we'd just ban you.  We don't typically ban people (other than spammers) over single incidents, though.

This is, however, a formal warning.  You do not have the authority to tell the rest of the forum how to post.  If you have concerns about how a thread is progressing, report it to the staff.  We will handle it if it needs handling.  Do not take it upon yourself to dictate to other posters what appropriate behaviour on this forum is.  If you continue to do this, you will find yourself banned after all.  (Not immediately, though.  After a couple more warnings and probably a temporary gag.  We like to give people plenty of chances.)

Likewise, if you feel that someone has called you a bad parent, or abusive, or "the manifestation of the befouled drippings of a warped and primitive soul" or whatever, report it.  Personal attacks are against the rules here.  If you've been attacked, it's the moderators' job to deal with it, not yours.  If it's not worth reporting, it's also not worth ranting about on-forum.  Please note, however, that we are certainly not going to consider people recounting bad experiences with parenting decisions that sort of kind of maybe look like a decision you described making to be attacks.  People have bad experiences, sometimes with things that resemble your life.  That doesn't mean they're "pointing fingers at [you] while hissing 'UNCLEAN!'".  It means they had some bad experiences with something that sort of resembles your life.  It's not personal.  If you can't discuss your personal experiences without feeling attacked when someone expresses a negative opinion of something that sort-of resembles it, then yes, it is better that you simply refrain from posting anything personal.  We try to be supportive of our members, but this is not a forum geared specifically to support.  Do not expect people to automatically be aware of and actively avoid your particular sensitive spots and triggers.

If you are so frustrated with a thread that you feel like posting this kind of rant again, you have two options (beyond the aforementioned option of reporting it).  If you want to try to get the thread back on-track, you can participate in it in a manner that you feel is appropriate.  Start posting more "cute pagan kid" stories, in this case.  To paraphrase Gandhi, be the change you wish to see in the thread.  Set a good example.  It's far more likely to have an actual effect on the thread than something like this.  Your other option is to decide that it's not worth the headache and just leave the thread alone.  Give it up for a lost cause and go find a discussion that won't elevate your blood pressure so much.  It's a perfectly valid approach to a thread that's really pissing you off.  (A variation:  If one particular poster is especially ticking you off, provided they aren't staff, you can put them on ignore.)

Do not, however, go off and start a whole new thread about how pissed off you are.  That's pretty much never an appropriate response, especially when it involves your stepping on the staff's toes as well.

I will be e-mailing you a copy of this to ensure that you see it within a reasonable timeframe.  I would tend to agree that a short break to cool down is probably a good idea, if you are so upset that you feel the need to post something this over-the-top in response to a thread like the one that prompted the rant.  Whether you take a break, and how long it is if you do, is up to you--but be sure that you are prepared to deal with people who might disagree with your decisions, and prepared to follow the rules, before you return.

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