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Author Topic: How about revenge?  (Read 9437 times)
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« Topic Start: October 04, 2010, 03:42:10 am »

Well, what do you guys think about revenge? Sometimes it makes me feel relieved to see a person suffer who made me suffer too. But on the other hand, hate shouldn't consume you entirely. Is revenge justified? Do you turn the other cheek? How far do you go when it comes to revenge, are you actively boycotting that person, or just enjoy when things go wrong?
I was wondering about the rule of 3. I'm not sure if I should follow it or not, but the people who do, do you think revenge is also part of it, like you hurt me, I can hurt you 3 times as hard? Or do you see it in another perspective?



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« Reply #1: October 04, 2010, 07:14:20 am »

Well, what do you guys think about revenge? Sometimes it makes me feel relieved to see a person suffer who made me suffer too. But on the other hand, hate shouldn't consume you entirely. Is revenge justified? Do you turn the other cheek? How far do you go when it comes to revenge, are you actively boycotting that person, or just enjoy when things go wrong?
I was wondering about the rule of 3. I'm not sure if I should follow it or not, but the people who do, do you think revenge is also part of it, like you hurt me, I can hurt you 3 times as hard? Or do you see it in another perspective?

Revenge? Why let the other person(s) rent space in your mind for free?  Most likely they have moved on, or forgotten about it.  If not you have bought into their game plan and given them your power.

I believe forgiveness is the key, it does not mean forget it.  You forgive yourself for allowing it to happen, then you forgive them for doing it.  

They can and should be held accountable for their actions, for balance but not revenge.

Each act you send out comes back to you three folded. Leave it to whatever you believe in to balance things.

IMO (backed by my experience, only) I am given choices, when I make a non-life choice, the choice is presented to me again, and again until I make the life choice, (its a learning process for me).

I have learned revenge is fueled by hate, and warps my Soul, and I become someone other than I want to be.  
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« Reply #2: October 04, 2010, 07:48:16 am »


I've seen the 'Rule of 3' outlined as 'thou must ever return triple ... but mark well, when thou receivest good, so equally art bound to return good threefold', which is taking matters into our own hands rather than the passive Rule of 3 view that 'what is sent (by anyone) comes back' with no intervention needed.

Which facet of the 'Rule of Three' fits you? Neither can stand up on their own 100%, so it's a matter of personal ethics and responsibility. The passive R.o.3. lends itself to the counsel that to 'live well is the best revenge', pay no mind to what/who has hurt you, overcome it by not letting it hold you back or hurt you any longer - all the pain caused by the instigator will find its way back, in its own way, to balance the scales / dish out negativity threefold. The more active R.o.3. gives you a blessing to take revenge into your own hands, with careful consideration and the mantle of responsibility is on your shoulders to divide your feelings into what is fair justice and what is not. In my view, the active rule of three not only counsels not to curse the one who embarrassed you a little at the staff meeting with family infertility and utter mental dissolution, but to mind your benevolent actions - repay the favour of your neighbour promptly and without complaint, unless they loaned you a bag of sugar and are demanding you handle the vet bills for their Persian cat while they're on their Caribbean cruise this week.
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« Reply #3: October 04, 2010, 08:15:43 am »

Well, what do you guys think about revenge? Sometimes it makes me feel relieved to see a person suffer who made me suffer too. But on the other hand, hate shouldn't consume you entirely. Is revenge justified? Do you turn the other cheek? How far do you go when it comes to revenge, are you actively boycotting that person, or just enjoy when things go wrong?

Revenge is sometimes justified. Forgiveness is often better (as it is generally less work and lets you get on wioth your life). "Turning the other cheek" to make it easy for you to be attacked again is seldom the best choice, IMHO.
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« Reply #4: October 04, 2010, 08:22:16 am »

I was wondering about the rule of 3. I'm not sure if I should follow it or not, but the people who do, do you think revenge is also part of it, like you hurt me, I can hurt you 3 times as hard? Or do you see it in another perspective?

 Weather or not you should follow the rule of 3 is up to you entirely. It really depends on your own beliefs and those of your religion. You don't specify of you plan on do in this revenge with a curse or in some other way, but the rule I live by is if you would not do it to someone without magic, than don't do it with.  I my self do not live by the rule of three, but I will not expect someone to endure at my hands, that which I would not endure my self for the same act.


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Well, what do you guys think about revenge? Sometimes it makes me feel relieved to see a person suffer who made me suffer too. But on the other hand, hate shouldn't consume you entirely. Is revenge justified? Do you turn the other cheek? How far do you go when it comes to revenge, are you actively boycotting that person, or just enjoy when things go wrong?

  Someone would have to do something really bad for me to consider some type of revenge. I am by no means a doormat, but I can't justify spending my precious time, and energy on someone who is obviously not worth it.
I would probably go with the boycotting route. IMHO
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« Reply #5: October 04, 2010, 08:29:51 am »

Revenge is sometimes justified. Forgiveness is often better (as it is generally less work and lets you get on wioth your life). "Turning the other cheek" to make it easy for you to be attacked again is seldom the best choice, IMHO.

This.
Life confronts us with situations that often are not fitting into pre-made rules.
That is the point where responsibility, reason and your free will come in.

If revenge is justified in a certain case, you are the only one who can answer the question.
No one will pronounce absolution for you.

Can it turn out that you have made a mistake?
Sure.

That is life, we will make mistakes.

Personally I think, rather a honest revenge, than a hypocritical forgiveness, that eats you even more.
Mind, most of the time it is not necessary tho.

In my forty years I was only there once.
And one should always remember, the best revenge is a good life and the worst you can do to another human is feeling totally indifferent about them.
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« Reply #6: October 04, 2010, 08:42:39 am »

Well, what do you guys think about revenge? Sometimes it makes me feel relieved to see a person suffer who made me suffer too. But on the other hand, hate shouldn't consume you entirely. Is revenge justified? Do you turn the other cheek? How far do you go when it comes to revenge, are you actively boycotting that person, or just enjoy when things go wrong?
I was wondering about the rule of 3. I'm not sure if I should follow it or not, but the people who do, do you think revenge is also part of it, like you hurt me, I can hurt you 3 times as hard? Or do you see it in another perspective?

I don't believe in the rule of three (or the Rule Of Completely Misunderstood Karmic Workings, as I like to call it) or anything that implies the universe actually cares what we do. For everything in physics, there's an equal and opposite reaction, sure. People aren't physics, though. Sometimes, terrible people get away with terrible things and get to live to a ripe old age and die in their beds.

To a certain extent, hurting folks who hurt you is a bad idea, just because you're continuing a cycle of hate. For example, while part of me would love for the perpetrators who inspired the suicide of Tyler Clementi to be pushed through a wire mesh fence by a sexually enraged African bull elephant (along with all the other bullies who drive so many of our kids and adolescents to suicide)... real justice is going to come from the courts system, by prosecuting to the full extent of the law. If we can send a clear message that these actions aren't legally tolerated and adults cannot and should not act like this, that will have avenged Tyler's death a million times more than trying to turn the harassment back on his bullies.

That said, it's a good thing I don't have superpowers because so many rapists and child abusers would be pleading their case at the Pearly Gates right about now.
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« Reply #7: October 04, 2010, 09:42:20 am »


I believe in justice - not revenge.  Revenge calls for actively getting out there and doing.

Of course, then there's Shadenfreuden (sp) which is that feeling of glee when someone gets what they deserve.  And that's one of those things that, while I'm not proud of it, I tend to wallow in it when life bitchslaps someone I think has it coming.  (hey, no one's perfect!)

But in general, I think justice is far better than revenge.  Correcting the wrong if possible, ending the possibility of future wrong if at all doable - that's a lot more important.  Getting an extra hit in just because you can .. no.  That just leads to a giant slugfest.
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« Reply #8: October 04, 2010, 10:37:35 am »



When someone does something for me I like to repay them, not just for the thing they did but for their willingness to do it.  So if someone lends me money, I will not only repay the money, but, when they need something from me, I will repay the original favour by being willing to take on their favour.  (so not just repay the money, but be willing to lend some to them when they have the need)

When someone does me wrong, repaying/nullifying the wrong is justice.  Being willing to do them a wrong in return is revenge.  I'm not quite as willing to repay the willingness to do me a wrong as I am the willingness to do me a right, (it tends to take more effort and thought than I'm willing to put in) but there are times when that is the only way to prevent them from making a habit of it.  

I can't think of too many recent examples of this - it was more a work and school thing.  Someone taking credit for my work would not only be corrected publicly, but warned publicly the next time such an opportunity occurred. It tended to embarrass them that I would just assume they needed to be warned not to do this, but since I would have a previous example to point to there wouldn't be much they could do about it except try to avoid even the appearance of ever doing such a thing.  It would also let others know that this was a danger and to be on the watch.

I was never very subtle about office politics or head games in general.  I can't think of any times in my life when physical revenge might have been called for - I don't know if I could maintain the energy to actually plan and carry out anything like that.  I did try magically once to make it so that my husband would not have to work with a particular jerk who was making things hard for him.  It worked in the shortest way from point A to point B - my husband got fired. Cheesy

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« Reply #9: October 08, 2010, 01:53:55 am »

I believe in justice - not revenge.

I think this best sums up my idea.
On one hand, I don't think it's right to just let someone get away with something (the 'turn the other cheek' thing).  But on the other hand, I realise that going out there myself and doing them a wrong (as it was eloquently put by Marilyn) is not always the best method.

I have contemplated revenge before.  I will admit this.  At the same time, it goes away after a while.  I don't think about revenge forever, because usually, it's something petty that doesn't really warrant an attack back. For example, say a teacher was actively hindering some students in the class. Personally, I would advise that the principal be told, and, if necessary, get parents involved for the extra weight to the students' arguments.  The teacher was out of line, and was hindering the students' chances at good marks deliberately, so it was important that they get some form of justice, if only to help the students be treated fairly.  At least, that is my opinion.  On the other hand, I wouldn't have advocated taking an action that would potentially ruin the teacher's career.  Perhaps she would change if she had a look at why she did what she did.  Then it wouldn't be fair to her if she was no longer able to find a job.  Justice should be for one action and one action only.  It shouldn't last longer than one event.  That's the fundamental difference for me; justice allows the person on the receiving end to recover afterwards, and is proportional to the crime.  Revenge is more disproportional, and effects can last much longer.

In summary, because that was far too verbose: justice, not revenge, but acting the doormat gets no-one anything.
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« Reply #10: October 08, 2010, 03:28:58 pm »

Is revenge justified?

In my wild and woolly youth, I succeeded in achieving revenge once or twice, but I've grown up a lot since then.  The truth is, revenge is both bitter and sweet...  sweet at the time, but it leaves a bitter aftertaste and it can change the person you are if you aren't careful. 

I now take the position best described by the Chinese proverb:  Sit on the bank of a river and wait: Your enemy's corpse will soon float by.  The truth is that most people worth taking revenge against will ultimately self-destruct of their own accord.   
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« Reply #11: October 08, 2010, 07:48:14 pm »


That said, it's a good thing I don't have superpowers because so many rapists and child abusers would be pleading their case at the Pearly Gates right about now.


Same here...

I think to a certain extent revenge is justified, if the honor and integrity of the person (and their loved ones) are at stake. That said, the difficult part is trying to be fair with it.

I have a hard time personally when seeking revenge. I usually get caught up in the moment and pray for things that are outrageous, then I feel guilty and try to take the prayers back. Then I go back to feeling used and cheated again. If you hadn't guessed already, this is a issue I've been thinking about for months now.

I don't believe seeking a peaceful reconciliation is always a good solution.

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« Reply #12: October 09, 2010, 12:30:02 pm »

Well, what do you guys think about revenge? Sometimes it makes me feel relieved to see a person suffer who made me suffer too. But on the other hand, hate shouldn't consume you entirely. Is revenge justified? Do you turn the other cheek? How far do you go when it comes to revenge, are you actively boycotting that person, or just enjoy when things go wrong?
I was wondering about the rule of 3. I'm not sure if I should follow it or not, but the people who do, do you think revenge is also part of it, like you hurt me, I can hurt you 3 times as hard? Or do you see it in another perspective?




IMHO
Physics tells us for every action there is an equal reaction. Eye for eye is ok. In fact revenge may stop further harm being perpetrated against you. The problem with revenge  is that people who do it go beyond the eye and take the hand or or far worse. This then creates another reaction to balance the extra. This imbalance leads to a great deal of chaos.

As far as the rule of three I've never seen that happen to anyone. One for one balancing yes but multiples, no not ever. The law of three, like the wiccan rede, is just part of a poem not a universal constant or a good guide for morality.
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« Reply #13: October 09, 2010, 03:17:32 pm »

Well, what do you guys think about revenge? Sometimes it makes me feel relieved to see a person suffer who made me suffer too. But on the other hand, hate shouldn't consume you entirely. Is revenge justified? Do you turn the other cheek? How far do you go when it comes to revenge, are you actively boycotting that person, or just enjoy when things go wrong?
I was wondering about the rule of 3. I'm not sure if I should follow it or not, but the people who do, do you think revenge is also part of it, like you hurt me, I can hurt you 3 times as hard? Or do you see it in another perspective?

   I'm a person that gets angry pretty quickly when slighted, but I have learned that revenge is really just not worth the energy in most cases.  I do make an exception when a person did something that is truly harmful, and in that case I have no problem stepping in to make sure that is does not happen again.  For example, my friend was raped, and the rapist was still harassing her and taunting her and the law refused to do anything about it (something about them both being minors).  So I decided to make sure that he left her alone, for good, and it worked.  But in the process I learned that even for something that may be morally right, it still takes a lot out of a person, and doing things of that sort does have a side effect.
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« Reply #14: October 10, 2010, 12:00:18 am »

    But in the process I learned that even for something that may be morally right, it still takes a lot out of a person, and doing things of that sort does have a side effect.

 Sometimes doing the right thing takes something out of you and you have to pay a price. Be proud of your sacrifice.

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