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Author Topic: Your Path--And Your Mental Disorder  (Read 22888 times)
knitsy
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« Reply #15: October 15, 2010, 10:21:47 am »

After years of trying to explain to my hubby and my daughter about sounds, especially low and loud ones (bass car radio, motorcycle engines), and bright light, and certain smells, and yeah being startled - I was so thrilled and relieved to meet others online who experience the same things.

And then to help raise an Autistic granddaughter - the hours of crying when that's all I could focus on, just trying to make her comfortable so she'd stop crying ... I couldn't focus on anything but the sound of her crying. Finally figured out that taking her outside, walking around or just sitting on the porch steps, talking quietly about what we could see and hear, soothed her for a little while at least. She's a funny mix of hyper- and hypo-sensitive.

Have you tried reading any Temple Grandin? Or have you seen her biopic? It's fantastic! I can get you a link to watch the movie online if you like!

And I'm very happy to meet people with similar traits, too. Absolutely.
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« Reply #16: October 15, 2010, 10:48:13 am »

Have you tried reading any Temple Grandin? Or have you seen her biopic? It's fantastic! I can get you a link to watch the movie online if you like!

And I'm very happy to meet people with similar traits, too. Absolutely.

Yeah, we've seen that vid, and other videos of her giving lectures. She's fascinating.

There's also a book written by her mother that I'd love to read, but the library hasn't been able to get a copy of it for me yet. Most mothers believed the doctors (gods) when told that they were the cause of their child's strangeness. Or when they were told that "she'll grow out of it in time." Temple's mom didn't buy into any of that and kept trying to help her daughter, which is why her daughter kept trying and made a success out of her own life. Wish my mom had been more like that - but since she had anxiety disorder herself she probably couldn't handle anything more.
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« Reply #17: October 15, 2010, 11:18:54 am »


There's also a book written by her mother that I'd love to read, but the library hasn't been able to get a copy of it for me yet. Most mothers believed the doctors (gods) when told that they were the cause of their child's strangeness. Or when they were told that "she'll grow out of it in time."

Granted, it has been a little while since I read Grandin's autobiography, but I don't recall this being the case with her.  The treatment options were certainly limited because autism spectrum disorders weren't well understood, but that isn't quite the same thing that you are talking about.

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« Reply #18: October 15, 2010, 11:22:24 am »

Yeah, we've seen that vid, and other videos of her giving lectures. She's fascinating.

There's also a book written by her mother that I'd love to read, but the library hasn't been able to get a copy of it for me yet. Most mothers believed the doctors (gods) when told that they were the cause of their child's strangeness. Or when they were told that "she'll grow out of it in time." Temple's mom didn't buy into any of that and kept trying to help her daughter, which is why her daughter kept trying and made a success out of her own life. Wish my mom had been more like that - but since she had anxiety disorder herself she probably couldn't handle anything more.

That was a powerful part of the biopic. I almost yelled at the TV.
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« Reply #19: October 15, 2010, 11:33:49 am »

Granted, it has been a little while since I read Grandin's autobiography, but I don't recall this being the case with her.  The treatment options were certainly limited because autism spectrum disorders weren't well understood, but that isn't quite the same thing that you are talking about.

Sperran

You know the term "refrigerator mother"? That was supposed to be the cause of Autism at about the time Temple was diagnosed.

The doctors didn't seem to get it that the same mother often had one or more "normal" children living in the same home. Made no sense then, makes no sense now. Good thing they dropped that idea.
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« Reply #20: October 15, 2010, 11:34:57 am »

That was a powerful part of the biopic. I almost yelled at the TV.

Me too. But I applauded when Temple's mom told the doctor that she had a degree from a very prestigious college herself! Yay mom!
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« Reply #21: October 15, 2010, 12:08:49 pm »

You know the term "refrigerator mother"? That was supposed to be the cause of Autism at about the time Temple was diagnosed.

The doctors didn't seem to get it that the same mother often had one or more "normal" children living in the same home. Made no sense then, makes no sense now. Good thing they dropped that idea.

I'm very familiar with the term and the asshole that invented it.  What I'm saying is that I don't think that Grandin's mother in particular was subject to that little gem from Bettelheim.  Not all doctors bought into the nonsense psychoanalytic model being pushed by people like Bettelheim.

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« Reply #22: October 15, 2010, 12:46:29 pm »

But there's still feeling inside you.

Do anything you can in the seconds you have to scrabble at the surface of life. Let your depression spill out onto a page, and draw from it. That is spiritual in and of itself! There is raw power in the depths of your emotions. There has to be--how else could you feel so utterly low?

This doesn't resemble my depression in any way. There is no feeling low- there is simply no feeling. I am numb to the world, I do not react to stimulus, good or bad. My depression is like a thick sludge- it weighs me down and contaminates everything I touch. I stop living and simply exist, eating when reminded, moving when pushed.

Living in perpetual inertia is not good for anything that needs to grow, so I don't see any way that my depression has aided my path.
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« Reply #23: October 15, 2010, 12:49:51 pm »

This doesn't resemble my depression in any way. There is no feeling low- there is simply no feeling. I am numb to the world, I do not react to stimulus, good or bad. My depression is like a thick sludge- it weighs me down and contaminates everything I touch. I stop living and simply exist, eating when reminded, moving when pushed.

Living in perpetual inertia is not good for anything that needs to grow, so I don't see any way that my depression has aided my path.

I am sorry. I hope you find a way.
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« Reply #24: October 15, 2010, 12:51:55 pm »

I am sorry. I hope you find a way.

Thanks. I'm in therapy, and I'm two weeks in to being medicated, so there is potential for improvement.
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« Reply #25: October 15, 2010, 01:27:09 pm »

I also go on INTEREST BINGES which allows me to accumulate a large amount of knowledge in a short amount of time. Right now it's spirituality/pagan practices/etc. Which isn't to say I'm not always interested in these things, just to say that there are times when I take a notion to read many, many books about it.

I do exactly this too.  My boyfriend always refers to it as my current obsession.  I don't know if that's the best description, because it doesn't consume me, I just get very, very focused on a particular topic and want to know all about it.  Most of the time, when I'm done learning about it, I'll drop it like a hot potato.  Some topics I'll revisit, usually with less intensity, some I don't revisit at all.  I think most topics fall under the same themes though: art, spirituality, nature, etc.

I have general anxiety disorder, and take medication for it.  I get really high strung, lots of getting upset and freaking out if I miss a dose.  It always seems to take weeks to recover from a missed dose too.

If these interest binges are a symptom of my mental illness, then it definitely helps me connect to the Divine.  I think it allows me to focus my energy in a way that would take a lot more training and effort if I didn't have the illness to help me out.
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« Reply #26: October 15, 2010, 01:50:28 pm »

I'm very familiar with the term and the asshole that invented it.  What I'm saying is that I don't think that Grandin's mother in particular was subject to that little gem from Bettelheim.  Not all doctors bought into the nonsense psychoanalytic model being pushed by people like Bettelheim.

Sperran

Then the video was not accurate?


This is from a review of the mother's book on amazon:

Quote
This is not a "how-to" book on educational procedures or anything like that. By reading this autobiography, you will understand the character of Temple's mother, who quite literally saved Temple's life. Fifty-some years ago, Eustacia was the product of her time in most ways--the stay-at-home wife to a wealthy man who was bent upon institutionalizing Temple, particularly when he got the support from psychiatrists who believed at the time that the reason for Temple's autism was Eustacia herself.
  http://www.amazon.com/Thorn-My-Pocket-Temple-Grandins/dp/1932565167/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1287165081&sr=8-1
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« Reply #27: October 15, 2010, 01:55:08 pm »

Your depression is a lot different from mine.  I don't have sucky emotions - I just feel EMPTY.

A blank page would be the appropriate journal for it.

That. Exactly that. And so, in that sense, my depression doesn't help with my spiritual practice at all. It distances me from my spirituality.

However, my history of depression has had a huge effect on who I have become, on who I am when I am not depressed, and on how I live so as to keep out of that hole. And in that sense, my depression has had a huge impact on my spirituality.

I will soon be taking refuge (a process roughly similar to conversion) at the Buddhist Temple I attend. The vows and commitments I will make as a part of taking refuge are very much affirmations of who I have built myself into as a result of my depression. There is a strong focus on living fully in each moment, on giving your all to everything you do, and the vows include not losing oneself in substances or practices that cloud the mind (a concept I extend to self-harm). More importantly, the first precept (paramita in Sanskrit) is dana which roughly translates as empathy/compassion/generosity. The first paramita is accepting a purpose to your existence beyond just yourself. This is what pulled me out of my worst period of depression and is still what I try and hold to when I'm at my worst and would otherwise simply let go.

So yes, my depression has had a significant impact on my spirituality in as much as it is intricately tied up with who I am and that in turn is the basis of what I believe. I would never be able to look at the world the way I do today if I hadn't been that empty or if that wasn't still something that was a part of me.
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« Reply #28: October 15, 2010, 01:59:06 pm »

Then the video was not accurate?

I haven't seen the video.  I am just saying that I don't remember that being part of Grandin's story in her own autobiography.

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« Reply #29: October 15, 2010, 02:03:02 pm »

I haven't seen the video.  I am just saying that I don't remember that being part of Grandin's story in her own autobiography.

Sperran

I lost track of who was talking about the video and who was talking about Temple's book, I thought you had mentioned the video. Confused myself, I guess.

This probably wasn't something that Temple herself was aware of as a child, and I don't know whether her family ever talked about it with her later on.
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