Greetings, all;
Where to begin? I am a solitary practicioner; I'd define myself as a Christian Shaman, following a totemic path with the spirit totem of the Owl, my male totem as the Stag, and my female totem as the Bear. Religiously, I'm a Latin Mass Catholic (Finding great serenity in the mysticism, chant, and ceremony). I do a bit of ritual work; Hermetic Style magecraft, but largely confine my practice to directed dreaming and meditation. I also do quite a bit of Runemal and Galdr-magic.
By blood, I'm Gaelic, Dane, and Lenni Lenape, though most of what I do shamanistically is as a Filid, along a "Celtic" path. Very little comes from my Lenni Lenape ancestry; My owl totem is usually off-putting to Native practicioners. My Girlfriend, who learned much from a Native mentor, even has to bite back the urge to point and say "Death Bringer!"
(That's a joke. One she made.)
Been at this a while. While I won't claim much wisdom, what I possess comes from the old school of "Wisdom comes from good decisions, good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions." In the interests of brevity, I'll forbear the detail of my path, but it started in Fundamentalist protestantism, and travelled through Satanism, militant atheism, agnosticism, what later turned out to be fluff-bunny paganism, and finally I found my balance and peace where I am now.
In any event, I have recently become quite smitten - deliriously in love together - with a Pagan Girl.
In the past, being neither fish nor fowl, I've kept to myself due to undercurrents of hostility in both my own church and the pagan community. (It has also fueled my solitary practice). Through the lens of 20/20 hindsight, this has left me ill-prepared to fully ... how do I put this? She has a hungry curiosity about how I find myself between two worlds like I am, and balance them. I have spent 20 years deflecting and avoiding such questions (Oh, look! We have pie!) and dancing away from them. Now, I am ill-prepared to be as open as I want to be with her.
I have waited a long time to find this lady. I do not want to screw this up. Losing this one, I fear, would really, really hurt.
So...Asking around, this board has a good reputation. And thus - Adsum. Here am I.
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