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Author Topic: Building Relationships with Deities  (Read 6739 times)
Starlilica
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« Topic Start: January 06, 2011, 04:11:48 pm »

I'm at a total loss. For the past year I keep having dreams about a certain goddess (and sometimes her consort). I don't know if it's just me dreaming or if I'm being called, but for the last year I've wanted to build a relationship with Her. However, I just don't know how to do it. I've done research, but I feel like it's not very good research. I've asked a few questions though PM about Her, and I think I "understand" a little, but I'm just at a lost on how to start building a relationship with a goddess.

I'd really like some suggestions, but keep in mind that I have a young baby so things like meditating are difficult.
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« Reply #1: January 06, 2011, 04:57:07 pm »

I'm at a total loss. For the past year I keep having dreams about a certain goddess (and sometimes her consort). I don't know if it's just me dreaming or if I'm being called, but for the last year I've wanted to build a relationship with Her. However, I just don't know how to do it. I've done research, but I feel like it's not very good research. I've asked a few questions though PM about Her, and I think I "understand" a little, but I'm just at a lost on how to start building a relationship with a goddess.

I'd really like some suggestions, but keep in mind that I have a young baby so things like meditating are difficult.

If you have an altar, you can leave her an offering or a token of what you feel represents her. The main thing is that you are clear about your intention to meet her. Then go to sleep.

As you are in between sleep and waking you are more open to spiritual connection.

That is how I met each representative of the elements. One week I left a stone on my altar and met a dwarf just before I drifted off to sleep. One week I put a blue candle and a cup of water to meet a water elemental. I met a Naga in my dreams that week. I had iffy results with the element of Air so I did that one twice. The second week I tried it 3 whirlwinds formed in my back yard spinning in different directions and in a place that was completely hedged in by trees. It was awesome. ( Anyone else notice how short a Sylphs attention span is?)

I put off meeting the element of Fire because I was scared. I did ask for a nice non threatening introduction and I got it.

The thing is my intention was to be open to meeting and learning from each of the Elements. I am sure if you come from a earnest heart and clear intention you could get to know your Goddess better as you drift off to sleep.

Oh, and look for signs throughout your day. Be open. You may not get what you expect, but it will move you.
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« Reply #2: January 06, 2011, 05:22:25 pm »

I'm at a total loss. For the past year I keep having dreams about a certain goddess (and sometimes her consort). I don't know if it's just me dreaming or if I'm being called, but for the last year I've wanted to build a relationship with Her. However, I just don't know how to do it. I've done research, but I feel like it's not very good research. I've asked a few questions though PM about Her, and I think I "understand" a little, but I'm just at a lost on how to start building a relationship with a goddess.

I'd really like some suggestions, but keep in mind that I have a young baby so things like meditating are difficult.

Have you talked/prayed to the goddess directly? I'd set aside a little block of time, even if it's just a minute or two to start with, in the morning and evening to say hello and tell her about your day. The best way to get to know someone is just to talk with them. Smiley
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« Reply #3: January 06, 2011, 07:00:49 pm »

I'd really like some suggestions, but keep in mind that I have a young baby so things like meditating are difficult.

Like Ellen, I'd suggest simply "opening the channels of communication".  Talk to Her.  Maybe light a candle and make a simple offering That could even be the flame itself.  Or something simple like water or juice, wine, honey, a baked good, or a small part of your own meal.  Or you could offer something you know from Her culture's mythology would be appropriate. Then start talking, like you would talk to someone you're trying to get to know and befriend.  Try to keep your mind open to Her response.

If you feel like you can share the name of this goddess, it might help us to give more specific suggestions.

Good luck.   Cheesy

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« Reply #4: January 06, 2011, 09:22:32 pm »


If you feel like you can share the name of this goddess, it might help us to give more specific suggestions.


This.

It's fine if you can't but some deities have quirks. I'm much more connected to the Morrigan when I'm in motion. Running, hiking, biking, martial arts, etc. Yinepu is much more likely to respond to me leaving chocolates out for him than any other deity. Seriously, I don't remember who told me to give chocolate to Yinepu but they were correct, he quite likes it. Granted though, I have an established relationship with both of them. I didn't seek them out, they found me. Both at very weird points in my life. I'm very thankful I did because I know I would not have had the guts to introduce myself to the Morrigan and I don't think I would have thought of Yinepu as someone who could help me with what I was going through at that time.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that deities are just different and it's hard to give constructive general advice when they are so very unique.
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« Reply #5: January 06, 2011, 09:34:55 pm »

I'd really like some suggestions, but keep in mind that I have a young baby so things like meditating are difficult.

I feel for you. I was knocked across the back of the head by a deity whose name I still don't know, five or so years into it, so any research I've done has been on similar deities - which is fine, but not entirely helpful. What I found worked for me is similar to what the others have said - I made space on my altar for him, I tried different offerings, I did slightly free-form rituals where I tried different things to see what he liked, I set aside blocks of time to talk to him.

It does take a while, especially if it's a deity there's little or no research on, but eventually you do start to build a solid relationship. I've found that even if things aren't exactly "right", making the effort and being open to indications about what's preferred is often enough - of course, that's speaking about the deities I've worked with, who don't have any purity guidelines (or other things that would require a much less free-form attitude).

Whether or not you're being called, if you're having regular dreams about her and/or her consort then I assume you're on her radar, which should also help with figuring out what works best; it's hard to tell if a deity likes something if they're not around.  Wink Good luck!
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« Reply #6: January 06, 2011, 11:46:32 pm »

If you have an altar, you can leave her an offering or a token of what you feel represents her. The main thing is that you are clear about your intention to meet her. Then go to sleep.

As you are in between sleep and waking you are more open to spiritual connection.

That is how I met each representative of the elements.

*snip*

Oh, and look for signs throughout your day. Be open. You may not get what you expect, but it will move you.

I think I may try that. I have a makeshift altar set up, and since I usually dream of Her, it seems logical that I could introduce myself that way.

Have you talked/prayed to the goddess directly? I'd set aside a little block of time, even if it's just a minute or two to start with, in the morning and evening to say hello and tell her about your day. The best way to get to know someone is just to talk with them. Smiley

I did try, but I will try again. I asked my fiancee, who is a follower of Odin and Freyja, and he said it took him praying for two years before Odin would speak to him, but only three months for Freyja to talk to him, so I guess things just vary. I'm not looking for anything immediate, I understood it would take a while (it's has been a year since the first dream after all) but I thought that maybe She would like a little more from me.

Like Ellen, I'd suggest simply "opening the channels of communication".  Talk to Her.  Maybe light a candle and make a simple offering That could even be the flame itself.  Or something simple like water or juice, wine, honey, a baked good, or a small part of your own meal.  Or you could offer something you know from Her culture's mythology would be appropriate. Then start talking, like you would talk to someone you're trying to get to know and befriend.  Try to keep your mind open to Her response.

If you feel like you can share the name of this goddess, it might help us to give more specific suggestions.

Good luck.   Cheesy

I don't mind sharing: It's Persephone. I asked someone who works with Her and they said that She is appreciative of anything. I used to light inscense for Her, but as my altar is in my bedroom and so is baby, I don't much anymore (I don't want the smoke to bother the baby).

I suppose fresh flowers or a pomegrante would be a good place to start for Her.

It's fine if you can't but some deities have quirks.

*snip*

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that deities are just different and it's hard to give constructive general advice when they are so very unique.

I understand, and I suppose I should have specified from the beginning.

If this helps: My first dream, I don't remember too much, but a hooded figure approached me and handed a scroll to me, saying it's from Persephone. It was blank except for her name. This was back in Januaray 2010 or perhaps December 2009, right around the time I became pregnant and fired from my job. Dreams since then have become infrequent, but the last few ones were at the end of my pregnancy and, um, rather... erotic, I'm embarassed to say. These last ones are why I'm not sure if She is particularly calling me, or it's just me dreaming weird preggo dreams. I've also seen numerous bats, beginning when I first began to really read Tarot (before that, I had never seen a bat in my life). Again, maybe just coincedence.

I feel for you. I was knocked across the back of the head by a deity whose name I still don't know, five or so years into it, so any research I've done has been on similar deities - which is fine, but not entirely helpful. What I found worked for me is similar to what the others have said - I made space on my altar for him, I tried different offerings, I did slightly free-form rituals where I tried different things to see what he liked, I set aside blocks of time to talk to him.

It does take a while, especially if it's a deity there's little or no research on, but eventually you do start to build a solid relationship. I've found that even if things aren't exactly "right", making the effort and being open to indications about what's preferred is often enough - of course, that's speaking about the deities I've worked with, who don't have any purity guidelines (or other things that would require a much less free-form attitude).

Whether or not you're being called, if you're having regular dreams about her and/or her consort then I assume you're on her radar, which should also help with figuring out what works best; it's hard to tell if a deity likes something if they're not around.  Wink Good luck!

The nice thing is that I have a fiancee who has been Pagan since he was a child, so I get to pick his brain about things, but I also know that he believes that this is something I have to do on my own. I have offered his goddess something (which according to him went over well with Her), so maybe try something similar to Persephone.

Thanks for the help everyone. I'll try these things; in the mean time, does anyone have any experience with Persephone (and/or Hades) or any good reading material? I've prowled Theoi.com and looked into Greek Recon, but it just doesn't feel right to me.
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« Reply #7: January 07, 2011, 12:35:54 am »



I think I just broke a rule by post multiple quotes in one post. If I did, I apologize and won't let it happen again.
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« Reply #8: January 07, 2011, 01:09:10 am »

Thanks for the help everyone. I'll try these things; in the mean time, does anyone have any experience with Persephone (and/or Hades) or any good reading material? I've prowled Theoi.com and looked into Greek Recon, but it just doesn't feel right to me.

Glee, I love Persephone! I've worked with her in the past, usually in cycles - she pops up once in awhile and then goes quiet for months - and I've been feeling her energy again. I've worked a bit with Hades too, but not as much as I should have. Sad He seems like a great guy to get to know.

I actually have written up several group rituals for Persephone, honoring her descent into and ascent from the Underworld along with corresponding chants. Lemme see what I can dig up for you. Grin Note that they're all in a Wiccan format since that was what my practicing group was comfortable with, but I stuck with mythology as much as possible.
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« Reply #9: January 07, 2011, 01:29:57 am »

I don't mind sharing: It's Persephone. I asked someone who works with Her and they said that She is appreciative of anything. I used to light inscense for Her, but as my altar is in my bedroom and so is baby, I don't much anymore (I don't want the smoke to bother the baby).

I work with her as well - it's a very specific/private sort of work, so I don't have as much to say as maybe some of the others, but from my experience one of the thing she appreciates is offerings of food. I've made proper offerings at the altar, or just slowed myself down and really, really enjoyed a meal in her honour; it seemed she liked the latter better, but that's UPG, and with a new baby around I expect you don't have much time to slow down on a regular basis Smiley.

From my experience, I think one of the keys is persistence. If you decide to make an offering daily, keep on doing it, even if it just means - to give an example from something I do - a quick offering while you're scarfing down lunch in a hurry. Especially when I was first forming my relationships with the deities I work with, I found it was really helpful to, well, follow through on my promises.
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« Reply #10: January 07, 2011, 11:34:38 am »


I don't mean to be contradictory to the other posters, as their advice is very good. I wonder if it might be easier to contact her in the Spring time. Her myth, her position as  Queen of the underworld during the Winter may be the reason why it is hard to contact her. Once she returns to bring in the growing season, she might be more accessible.

Just a thought.
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« Reply #11: January 07, 2011, 01:03:50 pm »

I don't mean to be contradictory to the other posters, as their advice is very good. I wonder if it might be easier to contact her in the Spring time. Her myth, her position as  Queen of the underworld during the Winter may be the reason why it is hard to contact her. Once she returns to bring in the growing season, she might be more accessible.

Just a thought.

In my experience, it depends on which aspect of Persephone you'd like to work with. To be sure, it's a bit difficult to call on the maiden of springtime in January... but remember that on the other side of the world it's summer, and Persephone isn't in the underworld. From what I've felt it's no harder to contact Persephone than it is any other cthonic deity (or just any other deity, for that matter). Sometimes it just takes practice and a few missteps to figure out which number to dial. Grin
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« Reply #12: January 07, 2011, 09:04:34 pm »

In my experience, it depends on which aspect of Persephone you'd like to work with. To be sure, it's a bit difficult to call on the maiden of springtime in January... but remember that on the other side of the world it's summer, and Persephone isn't in the underworld. From what I've felt it's no harder to contact Persephone than it is any other cthonic deity (or just any other deity, for that matter). Sometimes it just takes practice and a few missteps to figure out which number to dial. Grin

I remember reading someone's interactions with Her, and stating the fact that She is always the Queen of the Underworld, and always Underground. There are just times and portions of Her where She is not completely Underworld. It kind of made me do a double-take and think about it, and I think it makes sense. (I'm not expecting anyone else to though.)
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« Reply #13: January 07, 2011, 09:53:27 pm »

I remember reading someone's interactions with Her, and stating the fact that She is always the Queen of the Underworld, and always Underground. There are just times and portions of Her where She is not completely Underworld. It kind of made me do a double-take and think about it, and I think it makes sense. (I'm not expecting anyone else to though.)

To me, Persephone is eternally in the Underworld and in the meadows; both flower maiden and cthonic queen are equally important, and though her mythic cycle might jive with a particular time in my biome, that doesn't negate her other half.
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« Reply #14: January 07, 2011, 10:21:27 pm »

I think I just broke a rule by post multiple quotes in one post. If I did, I apologize and won't let it happen again.
You incuded the quote code for each one, though, which means it's easy to track back, so it's a pretty minor breach - it should be avoided when possible, but sometimes the responses one is making to multiple posts are really closely related to each other and will make more sense if they're combined.  That's the real point:  convos that make as much sense as possible and are easy to follow, even if the thread gets long or is revived months later.

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