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Author Topic: Denied!  (Read 14240 times)
Utusitusi
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« Topic Start: January 07, 2011, 05:01:12 am »

When I started on my pagan path many years ago, pretty much the only information available to me was about Wicca with a very heavy emphasis on the Celtic pantheon. The Celtic Gods were complete strangers to me but I tried my best to worship Them through the Wheel of the Year and even dared to create my first few spells (which failed miserably thankfully) calling on Them but nothing ever really clicked.
I tried it all: study, meditation, visualisation, attempted dedication etc but the only feeling I ever got from Them was of Them looking me up and down, saying " What are you doing here?!"
It was disappointing to say the least. I never did manage to connect with Them and moved on to other things but Their refusal of me as a worshipper stayed with me - I think it's very funny now and was probably very wise of Them.

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this total DENIED! from a pantheon or god? Please share!
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RandallS
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« Reply #1: January 07, 2011, 08:08:39 am »

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this total DENIED! from a pantheon or god? Please share!

I think many people have. It's sort of a "Sorry, you really aren't mine" feeling.
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« Reply #2: January 07, 2011, 09:47:01 am »

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this total DENIED! from a pantheon or god? Please share!

Usually I just get the feeling of "Sorry, nobody home. Call elsewhere."
There was only one incident where I got a really clear and pissed: Dont you ever call on me again.

Since this I know for sure, that not all gods are one god.
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« Reply #3: January 07, 2011, 10:40:58 am »

Usually I just get the feeling of "Sorry, nobody home. Call elsewhere."
There was only one incident where I got a really clear and pissed: Dont you ever call on me again.

Since this I know for sure, that not all gods are one god.

That sounds like an interesting story.
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« Reply #4: January 07, 2011, 10:56:21 am »

That sounds like an interesting story.

No not really, just really like I said:
Called on X, X was not amused and stated very empathically that I never should do this again.
In hindsight, I think I was pretty lucky that that was it and that I didnt get my butt kicked.
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'You had to repay, good or bad. There was more than one type of obligation. That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance. You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long. All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.' Terry Pratchett 'Lords and Ladies'

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« Reply #5: January 07, 2011, 11:52:35 am »

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this total DENIED! from a pantheon or god? Please share!

Not much to my story either.  I wasn't really going looking for Poseidon or anything, but I've long held a strong affinity for water.  I live nowhere near the ocean, but love to vacation there. Many times in the past, that affinity for water has carried over to a strong affinity for the sea.  A few years ago, though, I went straight out into the waves when we arrived at the seashore--and promptly was knocked off my feet, dragged a little way by the current, even almost lost my wedding ring.  Nothing life-threatening, but frightening.  When I found my feet again, I had a strong sense of a message:  "You are not mine.  My realm is not yours.  You do not belong here."

I've maintained a wary, but respectful, distance from Poseidon ever since.  I still vacation in the same place, but stay out of the water.
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« Reply #6: January 07, 2011, 01:28:42 pm »

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this total DENIED! from a pantheon or god? Please share!

I've had "You don't really belong here but I can house you if you want" and "The phone's ringing but nobody's picking it up."
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« Reply #7: January 07, 2011, 02:10:26 pm »

When I started on my pagan path many years ago, pretty much the only information available to me was about Wicca with a very heavy emphasis on the Celtic pantheon. The Celtic Gods were complete strangers to me but I tried my best to worship Them through the Wheel of the Year and even dared to create my first few spells (which failed miserably thankfully) calling on Them but nothing ever really clicked.
I tried it all: study, meditation, visualisation, attempted dedication etc but the only feeling I ever got from Them was of Them looking me up and down, saying " What are you doing here?!"
It was disappointing to say the least. I never did manage to connect with Them and moved on to other things but Their refusal of me as a worshipper stayed with me - I think it's very funny now and was probably very wise of Them.

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this total DENIED! from a pantheon or god? Please share!

I got it from the JCI god, the feeling of, "Uh, that's nice, kid, but you're still not mine." I thought it was something wrong with me, because at that time I didn't even know that paganism was an option. I got what I thought was a "no" from the Morrigan later, but I've come to realize that it wasn't "I don't want you," but rather "You're so not ready." It's becoming clear to me lately that it wasn't a flat rejection, as she's been making herself known on a semi-regular basis lately.
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« Reply #8: January 07, 2011, 02:40:47 pm »

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this total DENIED! from a pantheon or god? Please share!

The only pagan deities I've somewhat seriously considered following are Isis and Thoth. I get the distinct impression from Isis of someone brusque, driven and very busy - someone who doesn't have much use for me, but, if I shut up and stay out of her way, I can trail the hem of her skirt if I want.

Not very encouraging.
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« Reply #9: January 07, 2011, 02:47:17 pm »

The only pagan deities I've somewhat seriously considered following are Isis and Thoth. I get the distinct impression from Isis of someone brusque, driven and very busy - someone who doesn't have much use for me, but, if I shut up and stay out of her way, I can trail the hem of her skirt if I want.

Not very encouraging.

Hah.  My Celt got a similar reaction from Lugh, now you mention it.
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« Reply #10: January 07, 2011, 05:36:01 pm »

When I started on my pagan path many years ago, pretty much the only information available to me was about Wicca with a very heavy emphasis on the Celtic pantheon. The Celtic Gods were complete strangers to me but I tried my best to worship Them through the Wheel of the Year and even dared to create my first few spells (which failed miserably thankfully) calling on Them but nothing ever really clicked.
I tried it all: study, meditation, visualisation, attempted dedication etc but the only feeling I ever got from Them was of Them looking me up and down, saying " What are you doing here?!"
It was disappointing to say the least. I never did manage to connect with Them and moved on to other things but Their refusal of me as a worshipper stayed with me - I think it's very funny now and was probably very wise of Them.

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this total DENIED! from a pantheon or god? Please share!

I haven't run into this problem, simply because I never worked with any god who was not already screaming in my ear, pointing out his/her presence at every turn.  Now I'm a little less cautious about approaching gods who I do not know, but am always watchful for signs that say that they're just not that interested in an exchange with me.

It's like in high school, and after constant failed attempts at joining football, baseball, basketball, being denied at all of them, finally finding trying out for the chess club and aweing everyone there.  Sometimes it takes the closing of a few doors where you don't belong to prompt you on your way to where you do belong.
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« Reply #11: January 07, 2011, 07:55:34 pm »

I get the distinct impression from Isis of someone brusque, driven and very busy - someone who doesn't have much use for me, but, if I shut up and stay out of her way, I can trail the hem of her skirt if I want.

That sounds like Aset to me.  Do you mean the Kemetic Aset here or Isis, the trans-cultural deity? 
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« Reply #12: January 07, 2011, 08:51:29 pm »


It took me a while, but eventually I figured out that Papa Ghede had been telling me that I shouldn't try following him. The only time I ever tried offering him something, both me and my boyfriend (who sleeps over pretty rarely, but had done so that night) had dreams that follow Papa's usually M.O. of phallus imagery and trying to scare me off. Before that I had another dream where I tried calling to him, but instead another child-like Ghede came out and led me back into the chaotic part of dreaming, instead of talking with me. I should've gotten the hint when I'd be looking him up, get intrigued, and then feel an gut-reaction of "Back away, this isn't for you". At least he was nice about it, though (the "nightmare" wasn't really all that bad, but it made sense when I woke up and asked my boyfriend what he dreamed about, and things just all fit together). He's generally nice to people unless you purposely try pissing him off, generally by insulting either him, his family, his followers, or the dead.

He's actually the only god who has ever actively pushed back against my interests. I wonder sometimes if thats because he's a loa, and I've read countless times that they tend to be more involved with human matters, while others who are "older" just think avoidance is the best answer. Tongue
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« Reply #13: January 07, 2011, 09:04:37 pm »

That sounds like Aset to me.  Do you mean the Kemetic Aset here or Isis, the trans-cultural deity? 

I've never read anything about the trans-cultural Isis, so I guess it's the Kemetic Aset (I don't feel right using the Kemetic spellings until I've read the primary texts at least). That myth where she gets Ra's name out of him has always struck me as impressively ruthless.
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« Reply #14: January 07, 2011, 09:06:04 pm »

It took me a while, but eventually I figured out that Papa Ghede had been telling me that I shouldn't try following him. The only time I ever tried offering him something, both me and my boyfriend (who sleeps over pretty rarely, but had done so that night) had dreams that follow Papa's usually M.O. of phallus imagery and trying to scare me off. Before that I had another dream where I tried calling to him, but instead another child-like Ghede came out and led me back into the chaotic part of dreaming, instead of talking with me. I should've gotten the hint when I'd be looking him up, get intrigued, and then feel an gut-reaction of "Back away, this isn't for you". At least he was nice about it, though (the "nightmare" wasn't really all that bad, but it made sense when I woke up and asked my boyfriend what he dreamed about, and things just all fit together). He's generally nice to people unless you purposely try pissing him off, generally by insulting either him, his family, his followers, or the dead.

He's actually the only god who has ever actively pushed back against my interests. I wonder sometimes if thats because he's a loa, and I've read countless times that they tend to be more involved with human matters, while others who are "older" just think avoidance is the best answer. Tongue
As a Santero and somewhat vodouist, the lwas and orishas generally choose you. While folks definately have their preferences and often times you get drawn to the ones who are already placed on you , and most don't mind the side worship even if you don't belong to them; it is them that do the choosing. They are pretty humanized compared to many other dieites I've heard about and studied and can be pretty fickle at times. I can confirm that if they tell you don't bother... don't bother. For the longest time I adored the relationship between Chango and Oshun and wanted them both to be my orishas, but Yemaya made it VERY VERY clear that I was hers. Thank Yemaya I didn't have the inclination to follow her sister, otherwise they both would have put me 6 feet under.
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