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Author Topic: Connection lost. Please reboot system.  (Read 3774 times)
Matrinka
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« Topic Start: February 01, 2011, 03:31:57 pm »

So, I confess that this past year has been a rough year for me.  Financially my life has been difficult, my health has been poor and to top that off like a rotten cherry, my connection with Our Lady just evaporated. 

I didn't neglect my watches, but it was empty feeling, as though She weren't there for me.

Today, I decided that the only way out of this was to just push through and reach deep.  To do so required effort.  I had to move 500lbs of clothing and other things out of the way of the dresser where a length of wool lay waiting for me to transform it into a ruana for a new brat.  I almost gave up, but something glorious happened.  I felt that grab, that drive to create that makes it virtually impossible to NOT do it.  So, I shifted and lifted and shoved until I could reach the bottom drawer where I knew the wool hid.  I carried it out to the living room and set it down, rested to recover from having moved so much stuff and then began the work.  I cut off the small extra length, so it would hang front and back to my knees, then carefully cut down the front to form the two front panels.  I meticulously cut the ends into a deep fringe, and now it is fulling in the washing machine.  When it comes out, I will slip beads onto the fringe, beads of hand-blown glass in apple hues of red and green.  It will then be reverently hung outside where it will be blessed by Her at the dawn. 

As I sat there, a pile of fabric billowing in my lap, I felt Her for the first time in ages, and knew.  She never left me, just left me to my own devices when everything else had to take precedence to my spiritual work. 

I don't know if my disconnect is lifted yet, but I now have hope that it will lift properly soon.
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OpenHands
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« Reply #1: February 01, 2011, 04:53:49 pm »

So, I confess that this past year has been a rough year for me.  Financially my life has been difficult, my health has been poor and to top that off like a rotten cherry, my connection with Our Lady just evaporated. 

I didn't neglect my watches, but it was empty feeling, as though She weren't there for me.

Today, I decided that the only way out of this was to just push through and reach deep.  To do so required effort.  I had to move 500lbs of clothing and other things out of the way of the dresser where a length of wool lay waiting for me to transform it into a ruana for a new brat.  I almost gave up, but something glorious happened.  I felt that grab, that drive to create that makes it virtually impossible to NOT do it.  So, I shifted and lifted and shoved until I could reach the bottom drawer where I knew the wool hid.  I carried it out to the living room and set it down, rested to recover from having moved so much stuff and then began the work.  I cut off the small extra length, so it would hang front and back to my knees, then carefully cut down the front to form the two front panels.  I meticulously cut the ends into a deep fringe, and now it is fulling in the washing machine.  When it comes out, I will slip beads onto the fringe, beads of hand-blown glass in apple hues of red and green.  It will then be reverently hung outside where it will be blessed by Her at the dawn. 

As I sat there, a pile of fabric billowing in my lap, I felt Her for the first time in ages, and knew.  She never left me, just left me to my own devices when everything else had to take precedence to my spiritual work. 

I don't know if my disconnect is lifted yet, but I now have hope that it will lift properly soon.

It's good to hear from you, Mattie.  I hope life is getting a little easier for you and your family this year.   

OpenHands
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Garnet
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« Reply #2: February 01, 2011, 07:04:44 pm »

I don't know if my disconnect is lifted yet, but I now have hope that it will lift properly soon.

((((Matrinka))))

It's good to hear from you, and I hope everything goes better for you and your family soon.
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Sine Silvering
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« Reply #3: February 03, 2011, 12:19:23 am »

=snippage=
I don't know if my disconnect is lifted yet, but I now have hope that it will lift properly soon.

{{{{{{{{{ Mattie }}}}}}}}}   

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Morag
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« Reply #4: February 03, 2011, 08:14:22 pm »


*hugs*

It's good to hear from you again.
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darkwhispersdale
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« Reply #5: February 17, 2011, 05:16:07 pm »


I didn't neglect my watches, but it was empty feeling, as though She weren't there for me.


Hope everything is going well for you I understand what you mean with the feeling during your watches but mine may have occurred as I'm focusing much more on helping my sister with her art and creativity than mine. After reading your post I think it's time I pick up my paint brushes again.
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For what purpose humanity is there should not even concern us: why you are there, that you should ask yourself: and if you have no ready answer, then set for yourself goals, high and noble goals, and perish in pursuit of them! I know of no better life purpose than to perish in attempting the great and the impossible...

- Nietzsche, unpublished note from 1873
Aster Breo
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« Reply #6: February 18, 2011, 12:25:45 am »


Thanks for sharing this, Mattie.  It's so important to remember that She is always with us, even when we forget to look for Her.   Smiley

I'm glad to see you posting again.  I've been wondering how you are.

~ Aster
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