The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum (Archive Board)
May 30, 2020, 07:38:04 pm *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: This is our Read Only Archive Board (closed to posting July 2011). Join our new vBulletin board!
 
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
May 30, 2020, 07:38:04 pm

Login with username, password and session length
Donate!
The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.
TC Staff
Important Information about this Archive Board
This message board is The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum's SMF Archive Board. It is closed to new memberships and to posting, but there are over 250,000 messages here that you can still search and read -- many full of interesting and useful information. (This board was open from February 2007 through June 2011).

Our new vBulletin discussion board is located at http://www.ecauldron.com/forum/ -- if you would like to participate in discussions like those you see here, please visit our new vBulletin message board, register an account and join in our discussions. We hope you will find the information in this message archive useful and will consider joining us on our new board.
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
Author Topic: Family members' comfort levels  (Read 1242 times)
LadyVagabond
Senior Apprentice
**
Last Login:June 21, 2011, 08:53:06 am
United States United States

Religion: Hm. Still working on that one.
Posts: 71

Gravatar

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Topic Start: February 09, 2011, 11:51:55 am »

I live with my mother, who is Catholic. While she understands (and, indeed, shares) many of my personal beliefs, I get the sense that she is not entirely comfortable with my self-identification as "pagan" nor would she be quite comfortable with me practicing as such. I don't want to upset her, but neither do I want to hide what I'm doing, because I don't feel that it should be hidden. If you have had similar experiences, I would be grateful if you would share them, especially if you have some suggestion that might help me make her more comfortable/ explain what I am doing. (On the other hand, it could very well be that I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, and am just projecting that discomfort/unfamiliarity onto my mother, in which case... Undecided Gotta figure that one out.)

Thanks to anyone who responds!
Logged

Welcome, Guest!
You will need to register and/or login to participate in our discussions.

Read our Rules and Policies and the Quoting Guidelines.

Help Fund Our Server? Donate to Lyricfox's Cancer Fund?

Heliocoptero
Journeyman
***
Last Login:September 29, 2012, 06:56:54 pm
Portugal Portugal

Religion: Religio Romana
Posts: 108

Gravatar

Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #1: February 09, 2011, 12:52:35 pm »

I live with my mother, who is Catholic. While she understands (and, indeed, shares) many of my personal beliefs, I get the sense that she is not entirely comfortable with my self-identification as "pagan" nor would she be quite comfortable with me practicing as such. I don't want to upset her, but neither do I want to hide what I'm doing, because I don't feel that it should be hidden. If you have had similar experiences, I would be grateful if you would share them, especially if you have some suggestion that might help me make her more comfortable/ explain what I am doing. (On the other hand, it could very well be that I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, and am just projecting that discomfort/unfamiliarity onto my mother, in which case... Undecided Gotta figure that one out.)

Thanks to anyone who responds!

Hm... you may be projecting your own discomfort, but then again I don't know how Catholic your mother is. Mine says she is, but I get the impression that she uses the label for lack of any other, because, in the end, she has a very open, inclusive, and practical stance on religion: as long as it's good and helps her and those she loves, she willing to give it a try. Once, she even lighted up some incense to Janus and Vesta in front of the images I made and placed in the living room. What kind of broke the ice was me conducting a New Year ceremony with her, my father and in the presence of our dogs.

I'd suggest you invite your mother for a ritual where she takes part. It will help measure your own level of discomfort and also hers, with the extra of being a good way of overcoming the former and clearing doubts your mother might have on your religious practices and beliefs. Introduce her to the meaning of the ceremony, the symbols, its structure and gestures, and make it clear that you're not trying to convert her or anything. It's just sharing something that's important for you with someone who's important to you.

Helio
Logged
LadyVagabond
Senior Apprentice
**
Last Login:June 21, 2011, 08:53:06 am
United States United States

Religion: Hm. Still working on that one.
Posts: 71

Gravatar

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #2: February 09, 2011, 01:24:30 pm »

Hm... you may be projecting your own discomfort, but then again I don't know how Catholic your mother is. Mine says she is, but I get the impression that she uses the label for lack of any other, because, in the end, she has a very open, inclusive, and practical stance on religion: as long as it's good and helps her and those she loves, she willing to give it a try. Once, she even lighted up some incense to Janus and Vesta in front of the images I made and placed in the living room. What kind of broke the ice was me conducting a New Year ceremony with her, my father and in the presence of our dogs.

I'd suggest you invite your mother for a ritual where she takes part. It will help measure your own level of discomfort and also hers, with the extra of being a good way of overcoming the former and clearing doubts your mother might have on your religious practices and beliefs. Introduce her to the meaning of the ceremony, the symbols, its structure and gestures, and make it clear that you're not trying to convert her or anything. It's just sharing something that's important for you with someone who's important to you.

Helio

That's about how Catholic my mother is, too. I think I will try that; thank you very much for the suggestion!
Logged
omoyemaya
Master Member
****
Last Login:April 13, 2011, 12:27:33 pm
Virgin Islands, U.S. Virgin Islands, U.S.

Religion: Santeria and Boricua bohique path
Posts: 400


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #3: February 09, 2011, 02:00:56 pm »

That's about how Catholic my mother is, too. I think I will try that; thank you very much for the suggestion!
My mother's a labeled Lutheran meaning that if you ask her, she'll tell you she's Lutheran but she goes to Catholic mass mor than she goes to Lutheran church and even that is only like 2 times in the past five years. She is as open minded if not more so than your mother appears, and what opened her up to my beliefs is when she became aware of the ancestral ties our family has to it. That was how I learned that my maternal great-grandmother was almost pure-blooded Boricua-Taino indigenous and that she was quite the high ranking Santeria priestess who often held the gatherings at her house. But what opened her up the most was that I would offer to do things for her like little blessings for the day, or some extra luck for the casino our a bath to clean away an illness or yucky feeling she had been having. When she saw how my beliefs could be helpful, if not at the least uplifting and entertaining, then she more than welcomed my practice in her household.

Perhaps you could offer her similar blessings or some other working for her. I can see what Heli is saying about involving her in a ritual or giving her more info about what your beliefs are, but for my mother, she really didn't want all the details... just the happy stuff that she liked. To be honest, I can't really give her the details since as is the case with many other pagan systems, a certain level of secrecy is required.
Logged


Please help my babies with a click.
Adrianne Boudreau
Senior Apprentice
**
Last Login:July 28, 2011, 07:36:16 am
United States United States

Religion: Eclectic Pagan leaning towards Old Dianic Witchcraft
TCN ID: AdrianneBoudreau
Posts: 61


Not The Usual Girl You Take Home

Blog entries (0)

561374315 Adrianne Boudreau adrianneb78239
WWW

Ignore
« Reply #4: February 09, 2011, 06:09:38 pm »

I live with my mother, who is Catholic. While she understands (and, indeed, shares) many of my personal beliefs, I get the sense that she is not entirely comfortable with my self-identification as "pagan" nor would she be quite comfortable with me practicing as such. I don't want to upset her, but neither do I want to hide what I'm doing, because I don't feel that it should be hidden. If you have had similar experiences, I would be grateful if you would share them, especially if you have some suggestion that might help me make her more comfortable/ explain what I am doing. (On the other hand, it could very well be that I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, and am just projecting that discomfort/unfamiliarity onto my mother, in which case... Undecided Gotta figure that one out.)

Thanks to anyone who responds!

Well for me, my mother was totally against it. She christian, more leading towards being Methodist but she hardly goes to church unless it's Easter. However, for a long time she told me that I was just too good a person to go to hell because I was witch. It took my mom several long years before she could really accept it. (now she asks me for spells, and buys me candles, lol!) What I suggest to you is to give it time, let her read some of your books. Show her what you're doing, and maybe that would gradually show her that being Pagan is not at all evil.

Logged

Donor Ad: Become a Silver or Gold Donor to get your ad here.

Tags:
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
 
Jump to:  
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

* Share this topic...
In a forum
(BBCode)
In a site/blog
(HTML)


Related Topics
Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
Levels of Ritual Participation « 1 2 »
Worship and Ritual
Juni 15 6398 Last post June 06, 2007, 04:48:55 pm
by Mari
Welcome Ta Hiera Members
Ta Hiera Hellenic Polytheism SIG
RandallS 10 3449 Last post September 04, 2007, 10:48:29 pm
by RandallS
Last Time Carbon Dioxide Levels Were This High: 15 Million Years Ago
Science and Technology
Phoenix 2 1615 Last post October 09, 2009, 08:04:21 am
by RandallS
Hello, Cauldron Members!
Introductions
Vella Malachite 6 1348 Last post October 22, 2009, 10:31:01 am
by brandonb70
Family members with eating disorders: how do you help them?
Family Life
Sky Samuelle 7 2402 Last post December 29, 2010, 10:05:45 pm
by live oak
EU Cookie Notice: This site uses cookies. By using this site you consent to their use.


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.045 seconds with 37 queries.