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Author Topic: Unexpected Dreams of a Sea God  (Read 5918 times)
Ali
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« Topic Start: February 20, 2011, 06:07:34 pm »

After an intense and unexpected dream last night, I've spent the entire afternoon reading through old threads here on TC about polytheism, dedications and how others have handled relationships with more than one deity. It's been a huge help (yay archives!), but I find that I still want to share my own recent experience and try to elicit some ideas and responses from others.

So, as some of you may know, a few months ago now my relationship with Brigid was suddenly heightened and transformed through a series of synchronicities and coincidences here on TC along with a recurring dream I had about a sword of light. Though I had a semi-formal relationship with her before this (less as a personal patron and more as a patron of my work revolving around poetry, peace and social justice), for the past several months I've been working very intensely with her along with some other folks here on TC (hi, guys! you know who you are! Wink).

Wait - I have to back up. This is going to be a long post. :-/ Okay, some background: I was raised monotheistic, and then spent many years as a pan(en)theist, the last few with curious pangs of confused intrigue about how polytheism "worked" because I was interested but couldn't really "get it." Eventually I came to a place where I accepted a kind of intellectual polytheism on an abstract level, believing that certainly the Many existed and others had relationships with them, but without having any patron deities or anything like that of my own. Then, along came Brigid out of the blue and against a great deal of resistance on my part (because I kind of considered her a "pop star" deity with a huge fan base, and that made her too impersonal for me to connect with for a long time). Then after about a year of keeping her flame with the TC Cill group here, I got another bump up in the intensity of our relationship. I would liken it to henotheism (belief in many gods, but particular devotion to just one) or even to the bhakti yogic approach within Hinduism (focused heavily on devotion and love as the primary form of worship for a deity who is seen, even if one among many, as an expression of the All/Whole in some big, major way - not exactly monotheism, but still very much focused on that intense personal relationship with a deity who is your whole World). This seemed to work for me, and in my own personal life with other human beings I tend to gravitate towards only a handful of really intense, intimate friendships, rather than having lots of casual acquaintances.... So, cool, all hunky dory.

But now I don't know what's going on. For the past several nights, I've been having intense dreams about the ocean and being by the sea. I've had recurring dreams for years and years that involve the ocean, being under the sea, huge four-story-high waves, things like that, so I wasn't all the surprised. But last night, after waking up several times from dreams about the sea, I had an intense, downright erotic dream in which a sea god himself played a prominent part. I don't really want to go into details at the moment, but the gist of the dream had to do with some confusion about whether or not I was his priestess - wearing the garb of his priestess, he mistook me for one and had begun to "initiate me" (*wink*wink*nudge*nudge*) into his Mysteries when, feeling myself being drawn under and overwhelmed by this flood of power and revelation, I started to freak out and the experience ended. (There was some confusion, too, about whether he had actually mistaken me for someone else, or if I was the one mistaken about my relationship to him.) After I had spent some time sitting alone on the beach, watching the roiling dark waves beneath a restless sky and being able to feel his turmoil and restlessness, he returned to me and there was a palpable sense of intense longing, incredibly powerful, that was felt mutually between us... and also a sense that, in some way, the "seed" of dedication had already been planted and I had to decide what to do with it, but it was too late to just "go back to the way things were."

Anyway, it was probably the most intense dream I've ever had involving a god, and I am very unsure what or how to pursue it (or even if I should). Some immediate objections arise, and I was hoping I could get people's opinions and advice on them:

(a) I don't know who this deity is. I have some vague sense that it might be Manannan/Manawyddan, since I've had some brief interaction with that deity in the past... but I've also read on here some very strongly stated opinions that this deity is actually two deities who are not at all related to each other, and this surety in others makes me very hesitant to step into potentially murky waters since I don't have any surety at all that this sea god I encountered can't be one or both (or maybe someone else entirely). Other than the obvious (asking the god, doing more research), any advice or suggestions about how to go about finding out his identity or handling this ambiguity?

(b) I was cool with an intense relationship with one deity, and a respectful but less intimate "professional" relationship with others, particularly in Celtic traditions. I am not sure I'm up for handling two such intense relationships, and not sure how they might affect each other. I don't feel content to just leave each deity to their own separate sphere and leave it at that - especially since both seem very much involved with thresholds and liminal spaces, as well as primordial sources/energies of some kind. If I were to try to work with both, I feel like I would need to understand how they work together. But as far as I know, there's not much information in scholarship or lore about the connection between Brigid and Manannan/Manawyddah. Does anyone work with two deities as a kind of synthesis or partnership, and if so, how does that work for you? Does anyone work in particular with Brigid and Manannan/Manawyddan?

(c) I don't live by the ocean! I keep running up against this painfully deep objection any time I even think about trying to work with a sea god. I'm completely landlocked where I am, and this experience was so bound up with the sea that it just seems impossible to try to nurture a relationship so far away from that source. The times I have been by the ocean have often been deeply meaningful for me... but also very rare. Do others have relationships with deities associated with particular places or landscapes that they can only visit once in a while? How does that work for you?


I'm sorry this post is so long! I have a ton of other stuff I could mention (for instance, how this might be related to my upcoming Saturn Return and reflect aspects of my astrological chart and the influence of Neptune and my moon in relation to my Saturn and my sun)... but this is already way too long. I really appreciate any insight or advice folks have, or even just anecdotes about their own experiences of this nature to help give me some perspective. Thanks so much!

--Ali
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« Reply #1: February 20, 2011, 07:52:06 pm »


And now I'm just a bit worried that this post was way too long and "too much information." Sorry again about that. Kinda feeling overwhelmed, and skeptical, and curious, and really wanting feedback from folks with experience with this kind of stuff... and that leads me to ramble and ask tons of questions.

I guess what I'm really wondering about is the whole initiatory/priesthood/dedication question - this is a whole different aspect and not something I have really any interest in pursuing, except that it seemed to play such a major theme in this dream (which, yes, I do realize was just a dream and not some major mystical revelation or anything...). Are others here involved in that kind of intense devotional/priestly work for specific gods? For more than one? If so, how did those relationships develop for you? Is it impolite/impious to "put on the brakes," so to speak, or to explore a connection with a deity at a much slower pace?

See - tons of questions. Sorry! Inquiring minds... ::sheepish::

--Ali
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« Reply #2: February 20, 2011, 08:04:08 pm »

(a) I don't know who this deity is. I have some vague sense that it might be Manannan/Manawyddan, since I've had some brief interaction with that deity in the past... but I've also read on here some very strongly stated opinions that this deity is actually two deities who are not at all related to each other, and this surety in others makes me very hesitant to step into potentially murky waters since I don't have any surety at all that this sea god I encountered can't be one or both (or maybe someone else entirely). Other than the obvious (asking the god, doing more research), any advice or suggestions about how to go about finding out his identity or handling this ambiguity?

cropped

(c) I don't live by the ocean! I keep running up against this painfully deep objection any time I even think about trying to work with a sea god. I'm completely landlocked where I am, and this experience was so bound up with the sea that it just seems impossible to try to nurture a relationship so far away from that source. The times I have been by the ocean have often been deeply meaningful for me... but also very rare. Do others have relationships with deities associated with particular places or landscapes that they can only visit once in a while? How does that work for you?


I'm sorry this post is so long! I have a ton of other stuff I could mention (for instance, how this might be related to my upcoming Saturn Return and reflect aspects of my astrological chart and the influence of Neptune and my moon in relation to my Saturn and my sun)... but this is already way too long. I really appreciate any insight or advice folks have, or even just anecdotes about their own experiences of this nature to help give me some perspective. Thanks so much!

--Ali
A. I would recommend trying visualization. You may be able to get clearer answers if you venture into this realm, but in a more conscious state. I recently sent another member a simplified process for communicating with different entities, and I can send it to you if you like.

C. As a son of Yemaya, the time that I lived in icy-ass Syracuse was a bitch, but I did what I could to let her know she was in my heart even though I wasn't physically in hers. I painted and drew the ocean, had photos and posters up, integrated water and sand into a number of my ritualistic workings, took a lot of baths to symbolically connect myself to her, and used other symbols, objects, offerings that she liked when I couldn't be at the sea with her. She really enjoyed me keeping a fish tank in her honor and cooking octopus and shrimp dishes for her even if they were freeze-dried or came in a can.

I hope these notes are helpful
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« Reply #3: February 20, 2011, 08:30:07 pm »

Are others here involved in that kind of intense devotional/priestly work for specific gods? For more than one? If so, how did those relationships develop for you? Is it impolite/impious to "put on the brakes," so to speak, or to explore a connection with a deity at a much slower pace?

I have definite thoughts, but also some ritual plans (and some writing to finish *before* the ritual plans) tonight, so I suspect I will not be coherent on the subject until sometime tomorrow. But yes, have thoughts!

One thing I did want to say, though, fast is that it's *never* inappropriate to say "Hey, wait a minute. Slow down." Deities have very different ideas of time and intensity, but if they want you to serve them, they would probably prefer not to break you in unfixable ways.

It's possible to say "Wait!" in a way that's rude or inappropriate, but there are also tons of ways that you can do it appropriately. (Pretty much like you can say "I'm interested in this relationship, but we're going a bit faster than I'd like" to someone you like, but you're not sure you want to take X step with yet, when we're talking romance and not deity relationships.)
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« Reply #4: February 20, 2011, 10:01:51 pm »

And now I'm just a bit worried that this post was way too long and "too much information." Sorry again about that. Kinda feeling overwhelmed, and skeptical, and curious, and really wanting feedback from folks with experience with this kind of stuff... and that leads me to ramble and ask tons of questions.

While I'm afraid I have little practical advice to give, I do want to say that you shouldn't feel embarrassed or overwhelming or that you're committing the sin of TMI. This is heady stuff, for one thing, that requires context and background far beyond a question like, "What sort of offerings does Manannan like to get?" needs to have in order to get productive discussion or answers.

And hell, this is clearly important to you, and I think you feel you need to talk about it; how can we know how best to talk about it if we don't have the proper context?


So this is all to say: no worries.  Grin
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« Reply #5: February 21, 2011, 02:42:33 am »


*raises hand* Devotee of Manannan here, and cautious courter of The Lady. I am reminded of a snatch of poetry I read once: Oh wide sea, oh sweet sea, forever be my lover... I don't have that sort of relationship with Manannan, but I can see how that would happen. He is the Sea, after all.

And now for the actual questions.

a) He is both, and neither. It all depends on how you view him. Manannan is connected more with the Sea itself, while the welsh counterpart is more of a magician and trickster. Not that Manannan isn't also a magician and a trickster, but the focus is slightly different, if that makes any sense. I tend to just go with it; if the name fits, that's good enough for me. I don't know if he's outside of the Celtic area. It doesn't sound like Neptune, but I really don't know Neptune that well. I do find it interesting that both Neptune and Manannan are associated with horses, though.

b) Perhaps you are looking at this the wrong way. You said it yourself- these are primordial energies. Don't think so much of Brighid and Manannan in the lore. Think of the Lady of the Stars and the Lord of the Deeps in the now. They are your gods, your beloved. No one else can speak to them in the same way you can. No one can see them the same way you can.

c) I handle the disconnect by finding other points I can hold on to. Manannan also holds sway over storms, so I touch him there, especially when they blow in from the ocean. I have seen Him lap gently at my feet and try to pull my shaking body off rocks- these stay with me, even if the actual salt water is too far away.

I hope any of that helps. I would definitely talk with Brighid, soon. She has a claim on you that you honor, so She needs a voice in this. Good luck Smiley
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« Reply #6: February 21, 2011, 02:45:29 am »

Does anyone work in particular with Brigid and Manannan/Manawyddan?
I work with Brighid and a sea god. (Formerly I thought he's Poseidon, but I'm wondering if he's Manannan.)

My 'journey' through the realm of deities is a bit different than yours, but I also started an intense relationship with one deity before I started to work also with others. My first deity was Artemis, the second Poseidon/Manannan, which is a weird combination, but it just happened that way.

Artemis never had a problem with me worshipping other deities as long as she wasn't neglected, she just was very clear that she's not and under no circumstances sharing an altar with him. She doesn't mind sharing altar space with Brighid and Hekate, just wants to have her own corner there. So my sea god altar is in the bathroom.

Both deities were a bit difficult to deal with in the beginning, especially Artemis, because I had no experience and she was very intense. Unlike (how I experience Brighid) Artemis had a habit of butting in and smashing the door while she was at it. She also demanded things from me which scared me. I was freaked and wanted to run away. I asked wildly around for advice and one I got (from Jenett btw and someone else) really helped. I 'reservated' regularly meditational time specifically for her and told her not to butt in when I'm sleeping or day dreaming. I put up an altar and talked with her regularly. This really helped, because once I started to listen in a structured way, she stopped smashing doors. The problem with deities like this is (the way I have experienced it) once they are on your case they don't just go away if you try to ignore them. Slowing down isn't a problem if you're clear that you do the work but do it step for step.

I can't say anything about the priestess stuff. I really have trouble to see myself as any kind of spiritual authority and that includes the word 'priestess'. I don't know if I'm a priestess to any of 'my' deities, but there's also a personal healing journey connected to them and I think that comes before being a priestess although it might be a good basis for becoming a priestess later, I don't know. I've wondered a lot if I might just be flaky with all the deities of several pantheons I feel a connection to, but maybe I'm not supposed to be a priestess of all of them. They are just needed on my personal journey. I guess if I'm supposed to be a priestess of one or two of them, I'll realize at one point.

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I don't live by the ocean!
My neither (anymore). Sad Two years ago I lived at the baltic sea and 'talked' regularly to the ocean. This was before I became a polytheist, so funnily I started a conscious relationship with the sea god when I was already gone. I just try to stay connected by other means because I think there's a reason the sea god along with other ocean entities (seals, dolphins) appear in dreams and meditations. I watch ocean-themed movies, nature documentations or I go into a zoo/aquarium (which can be sometimes sad when the basins are too small).
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« Reply #7: February 21, 2011, 06:25:55 am »

(a) I don't know who this deity is. I have some vague sense that it might be Manannan/Manawyddan, since I've had some brief interaction with that deity in the past... but I've also read on here some very strongly stated opinions that this deity is actually two deities who are not at all related to each other, and this surety in others makes me very hesitant to step into potentially murky waters since I don't have any surety at all that this sea god I encountered can't be one or both (or maybe someone else entirely). Other than the obvious (asking the god, doing more research), any advice or suggestions about how to go about finding out his identity or handling this ambiguity?

*snip*

(c) I don't live by the ocean! I keep running up against this painfully deep objection any time I even think about trying to work with a sea god. I'm completely landlocked where I am, and this experience was so bound up with the sea that it just seems impossible to try to nurture a relationship so far away from that source. The times I have been by the ocean have often been deeply meaningful for me... but also very rare. Do others have relationships with deities associated with particular places or landscapes that they can only visit once in a while? How does that work for you?

Firstly, I'm sorry because I can't answer your second question - I work with one deity only at present.

However, that deity happens to be Manannan. Wink In my experience, the ambiguity between Manannan and Manawyddan really isn't an issue. I believe that the two names represent and personify two different sides or realms of his character; Manannan being closer connected to the sea and mists and water in general, a raw and powerful primordial energy, associated with death and renewal. On the other hand, Manawyddan, I believe, represents his magician and trickster aspects, represents the more 'human', humorous, friendly, fatherly and courtly sides of him. However, I think that when it comes down to it these two roles mesh into a whole; I worship him as Manannan, see him as the dark depths of the ocean, the spark of creation and life and the gatekeeper of the Otherworld, the wise, ancient force behind one of the three realms - infact, the tie between the three realms - and yet, he is also a young man to me; a friend and a father, a jovial and ever-laughing warrior, brave and strong and courageous and not afraid to step in the way of danger if he has to. The father and friend that gets you out of trouble again and again, and shrugs it off with a smile. Protects you. I believe he inhabits both names, it just comes down to which name you feel more comfortable using, or which he would prefer you to address him by. If you wanted to make a distinction between the two, you could always alternate how you address him depending on what realms you were focussing on at the time.

I have to admit, I do live by the sea (2 minutes walk away in fact!), but I don't really think it would be an issue if I didn't. To an extent, being so near the sea actually has a negative side in terms of how I worship. Because he is the sea, God of the sea, etc, I tend to just gravitate towards it for both physical worship/offerings and mental focus. At this point, however, I am ignoring all his other aspects, the other realms that he inhabits. He isn't just God of the sea and waves. He is the mists, the clouds and the rain and storms. The rivers - they flow, ever-progressing on their course until they reach the sea. We are the same. We start, and we flow along our own courses, meander in places, run past and over our obstacles, until we reach our end. Until we reach the sea, and Manannan. He is also God of the Otherworld, of death, and renewal. So, in my practice, I try to focus on these other aspects too, just as much, and at that point the sea is still an indirect connection, yet not a necessity to be near. By being brave and strong, and tackling things head on, I also connect to him as a 'warrior'. Not a 'warrior' in the violent, physical sense, but a 'warrior' of emotions and fears - battling away at life's challenges and my own personal fears in order to reveal true, earnest hope and optimism.

I don't know how far away you actually are from the sea, but when you next find yourself there you could always go rock/shell collecting, and these trinkets could act as conduits through which you could connect to it, and to him. Actually, nothing's to say that you couldn't get such things online if this is difficult. Smiley

I hope this helps!
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« Reply #8: February 21, 2011, 06:31:39 am »

b) Perhaps you are looking at this the wrong way. You said it yourself- these are primordial energies. Don't think so much of Brighid and Manannan in the lore. Think of the Lady of the Stars and the Lord of the Deeps in the now. They are your gods, your beloved. No one else can speak to them in the same way you can. No one can see them the same way you can.

This brought to mind a certain UPG that I have too. To a certain extent, I associate Manannan with the moon, particularly what with its connection to tides and the ocean. Taking this further, and with his primordial role, I connect him with the greater cosmos/universe. Perhaps this could be a way of connecting him and Brighid, or their realms of influence? I don't know, it might spark something for someone. Smiley

He is the Sea, after all.

I get the feeling he found this amusing. Wink
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« Reply #9: February 21, 2011, 09:13:08 am »

(a) I don't know who this deity is. I have some vague sense that it might be Manannan/Manawyddan, since I've had some brief interaction with that deity in the past... but I've also read on here some very strongly stated opinions that this deity is actually two deities who are not at all related to each other, and this surety in others makes me very hesitant to step into potentially murky waters since I don't have any surety at all that this sea god I encountered can't be one or both (or maybe someone else entirely).
I'm of the "two different dudes" school, but I wouldn't go as far as "not at all related" - the linguistic relationship is pretty obvious, and there are enough similarities in their mythic portrayals that I can't buy it being just a coincidence of nomenclature.  And on the UPG level, Manawyddan acknowledges the connection (and has given consent for me to address him as Manannan when - but only when, and provided I keep those magician/trickster emphases clearly in mind - liturgical scansion/flow are better served by doing so) - he seems to think my pet term for such things, cognate-brothers, is a good approximation.  Deity identity can be weird, IME; just because they're not exactly the same guy doesn't rule out them being able to function as a single deity if it seems useful.

For you particularly, "one or both" seems like the way to bet it; you're so Celtically-oriented that it's hard to imagine Poseidon or Njord suddenly coming along and tapping you out of the blue - particularly given the tone of intensity/intimacy of the dream.  (Even parsing it as a dream, and the appearance of deities as a symbolic thing out of the depths [heh] of your own mind, it reads to me as, "you really, really have an urgent - visceral and emotional - need to visit a seaside, as soon as time/money permit.")

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(b)... <snip>... Does anyone work with two deities as a kind of synthesis or partnership, and if so, how does that work for you? Does anyone work in particular with Brigid and Manannan/Manawyddan?
"Work in partnership" is exactly what makes my personal pantheon a pantheon, not just "the deities I work with" - they're not all teamed together all the time or for all things; they tend to team up in twos and threes and sometimes more for particular purposes (sometimes with others participating less directly/actively).  While both Brigid and Manawyddan are part of my PP, I don't recall any occasion on which I've worked solely/mainly with them-in-partnership (but it only coagulated into a PP a few years back, so who knows what might come up in the future) - I could yarn on for many paragraphs about the general experience of deities teaming up, but I don't have anything for that specific partnership, so I'll save the spoons for now.

Expanding a bit to touch on your followup questions, I'm not a priestess of any of the deities I work with except for the Chaotic Canine, and that's as much a joke between us as it is a serious role (or more accurately, it's not really a serious role at all, but it is a meaningful joke... or something like that).

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(c) I don't live by the ocean! I keep running up against this painfully deep objection any time I even think about trying to work with a sea god. I'm completely landlocked where I am, and this experience was so bound up with the sea that it just seems impossible to try to nurture a relationship so far away from that source. The times I have been by the ocean have often been deeply meaningful for me... but also very rare.
Just a thought:  perhaps that's the purpose (or part of it) of this, to give you a means to have a relationship with a "land"scape that's deeply spiritually meaningful to you but that you don't otherwise have much access to?

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to live as one wishes to live.” - Oscar Wilde
My blog "If You Ain't Makin' Waves, You Ain't Kickin' Hard Enough", at Dreamwidth and LJ
Tana
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fence-riding, free-flowing, shamagic = crazy

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« Reply #10: February 21, 2011, 12:10:49 pm »

Think of the Lady of the Stars and the Lord of the Deeps in the now.

I have nothing clever to say.
But this just hit home in some strange way.
I can not make sense out of it now.
But hold that thought.
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'You had to repay, good or bad. There was more than one type of obligation. That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance. You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long. All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.' Terry Pratchett 'Lords and Ladies'

(The FB button in my profile does not work, if you like go and add me: Tana Adaneth, the one with the Doom Kitty avatar Wink)

Only shallow people know themselves. (Oscar Wilde)
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« Reply #11: February 21, 2011, 02:59:05 pm »

Think of the Lady of the Stars and the Lord of the Deeps in the now.

I have nothing clever to say.
But this just hit home in some strange way.
I can not make sense out of it now.
But hold that thought.

I also agree with Tana. I read this and something stirred and I just had this...I don't know. Quick vision? Perhaps? That was very powerful.

Ali, no doubt this is very powerful stuff. I'm just beginning work with deities, so I don't have much wisdom here, but your story was so evocative. I could just see it in my mind's eye--the waves, etc. I wish you luck and discernment in figuring this out--keep us updated!
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Ali
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/|\ Awen /|\

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« Reply #12: February 21, 2011, 05:56:01 pm »


I wanted to thank everyone real quick for the awesome feedback! I want to take some time to mull over everything and respond to folks' posts individually, but I'm a bit rushed at the moment. I just finished work, and tonight I have my first "Saturn/Moon" meditation that I need to get ready for. Like I mentioned in my first post, I have my Saturn Return coming up, so one of the things I'm doing is scheduling ritual meditation times when the moon conjuncts my Saturn each month or so. This is the first one, and because (like I think someone else mentioned) there's some connection between moon and sea (and there's a relationship in my astrological chart between the planet Neptune and my moon, too), I'm going to take this opportunity to do some more investigation into this latest dream and what it might mean.

So I will definitely be back with an update and more thoughts! But I wanted to say quick first, thanks for all your insight and advice! It's been really helpful, and very good to know I'm not crazy or alone in this. Smiley You guys rock!

--Ali
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For the whispering poet and enchanted naturalist that dwells within each of us...

/|\ Contemplations and Practice on the Druid Path /|\
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« Reply #13: February 21, 2011, 06:27:01 pm »



About working intensely with more than one deity:

I call myself a devotee of Gaia and Pan - for I am devoted to them. Devotion, intense love, joy in being around them, feeling their energy and their voices.

But I love each of them in a different way. Gaia is mother, embraces me, nutures me. She picked me out of a deep dark hole 11 years ago, and She is first in every prayer after that experience. When I pray, I first open my eyes and spirit to the energy that permeates the universe, the spiritual component to every physical object. That is She.

And when that energy enfolds me, I can open to Pan - an active, forceful energy, sometimes with heavy sexual imagery and undertones. I sing to Him, I dance for Him. He is my Lord, my Lover, my Friend. I give myself to him and I know he guides me.

Where Gaia is the love of simply existing, He is the creative spark, the inner fire that drives me onwards. They each have their role to play in my life, but I can focus the whole of me towards either if need be.

I have just given them one little caveat; Pan can have me, but if Gaia ever decides to put Her foot down, Her word is law. She came first into my life, so that honour is Hers. But working with both is intense - it's enormous and humbling at times, in fact..

And concerning being far from their realm; Gaia is everywhere - even if I went into deep space, she'd still be there. But I'd love to one day visit Arcadia in Greece, where Pan originated.
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Morag
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Religion: NeoCeltic Feri/Reclaimingesque HearthWitchery
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So much more than a pretty girl.

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« Reply #14: February 23, 2011, 04:29:47 am »

Think of the Lady of the Stars and the Lord of the Deeps in the now.

I have nothing clever to say.
But this just hit home in some strange way.
I can not make sense out of it now.
But hold that thought.

I also agree with Tana. I read this and something stirred and I just had this...I don't know. Quick vision? Perhaps? That was very powerful.

*waves hand* Me too.

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Read Bellica here!
Innocence and Immanence

"i am not an angry girl, but it seems like i've got everyone fooled -- every time i say something they find hard to hear they chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fear. and imagine you're a girl, just trying to finally come clean, knowing full well they'd prefer you were dirty and smiling."
--Ani DiFranco, Not a Pretty Girl.

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