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Author Topic: That something longer...  (Read 4010 times)
Mandi
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Did the big meanies break yer speshulness

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« Topic Start: June 15, 2007, 11:57:12 am »

I just haven't figured out precisely what.  The main character is a conglomerate character, currently in the early stages of being fleshed out; there are some *deep darks* that will come out in the next couple chapters or so, but meanwhile she's sleeping.  There's bits of me, bits of other people, bits of moss here and there.

It is set in today, which has been my latest challenge.  Taking on writing the present, and incorporating some magical aspects trying to maintain that toes in the mud groundedness.  Instead of walking the rim of the acceptable in the past, right now we are trying to rationalize the rim of society in the present and what tendencies leave a person hanging there.

I'm going to just link to the blog entry that is serving as chaptering, by adding each stage as a new comment.  Comments, suggestions, critiques though let's try to keep here, so it doesn't screw with the flow of the story down the page.  I think it would hurt the ease of readability.

I haven't decided what specifically she's doing next, only that the "crushing" secret of "not again" will be revealed once I get to talking about her relationships to others in her family and lay the groundwork for why "not again" is significant.

http://www.ecauldron.net/forum/index.php?action=viewblog;u=159;id=66
Logged

I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir

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RandallS
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« Reply #1: June 15, 2007, 06:46:56 pm »

I'm going to just link to the blog entry that is serving as chaptering, by adding each stage as a new comment.  Comments, suggestions, critiques though let's try to keep here, so it doesn't screw with the flow of the story down the page.  I think it would hurt the ease of readability.

It will be interesting to see where this goes.  As it is now, I have no idea what is coming or where it is going.
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WarHorse
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« Reply #2: June 16, 2007, 12:18:48 am »

There's bits of me, bits of other people, bits of moss here and there.

Quote
I grab my backpack and headed for the door.

Present tense/past tense.

Quote
I ease the little alveoli with ripples of gold and emerald light. 

You must survive on this, flourish within it.  From the destruction comes renewal.

Beautiful!


There are at least six more lines I could quote and adore.

You are my kind of writer - with emphasis on metaphor.

Please do continue, though I detect a little pain between the lines.  Or in the lines, at one juncture.

This is how we heal ourselves.

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"I've seen knights in armor panic at the first hint of battle.  And I've seen the lowliest unarmed squire pull a spear from his own body to defend a dying horse." - Kevin Costner as Robin of Loxley, Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves.
Mandi
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Last Login:June 03, 2011, 01:52:13 am
United States United States

Religion: ergghhhmmmmnnnnn....
Posts: 1997


Did the big meanies break yer speshulness

Blog entries (48)



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« Reply #3: June 16, 2007, 10:12:31 am »

Present tense/past tense.

Beautiful!


There are at least six more lines I could quote and adore.

You are my kind of writer - with emphasis on metaphor.

Please do continue, though I detect a little pain between the lines.  Or in the lines, at one juncture.

This is how we heal ourselves.



Thanks  Smiley  Good catch on the tense thing.  It's one of my biggest *oopses* as a writer.  No matter how many times I correct it, it happens over and over.

This ones a little closer to home than I usually go.  I like to keep them at arms length, but what I'm noticing;  the pop that other people's writing sometimes seems to have that I lack I think comes from letting yourself have a little crossover.  I think writing from the sleeve gives a certain edge that a less personal piece lacks.

I love simile and metaphor, and trying to smith words faceting them to accent each other like jewels in settings.
Logged

I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
Mandi
Adept Member
*****
Last Login:June 03, 2011, 01:52:13 am
United States United States

Religion: ergghhhmmmmnnnnn....
Posts: 1997


Did the big meanies break yer speshulness

Blog entries (48)



Ignore
« Reply #4: June 16, 2007, 11:19:10 am »

It will be interesting to see where this goes.  As it is now, I have no idea what is coming or where it is going.

After adding the 4th installment, I'm thinking mud and ants seem to be the running theme.  Mud, ants and bottomless things.

I foresee a trip in the not too distant future...
Logged

I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
WarHorse
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Last Login:July 04, 2012, 06:05:14 pm
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Religion: Eclectic Pantheist
Posts: 2994


The little tyke.

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« Reply #5: June 16, 2007, 12:48:29 pm »

No matter how many times I correct it, it happens over and over.

Do you read your ms out loud?  I catch a lot of stuff that way.  Print it and sit down with a highlighter and a tall glass of iced tea. Wink

This ones a little closer to home than I usually go.  I like to keep them at arms length, but what I'm noticing;  the pop that other people's writing sometimes seems to have that I lack I think comes from letting yourself have a little crossover.  I think writing from the sleeve gives a certain edge that a less personal piece lacks.

The main character of my novel was me - big mistake.  Someone proofing it commented that she would not invite the main character to dinner, he was such a cardboard cut-out. <wince>  Of course - I was protecting myself.  So I gave him BO, and an annoying drawl; both will fade and he will become a more pleasant person, but for now I want him to be not pleasant. Wink

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"I've seen knights in armor panic at the first hint of battle.  And I've seen the lowliest unarmed squire pull a spear from his own body to defend a dying horse." - Kevin Costner as Robin of Loxley, Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves.
Mandi
Adept Member
*****
Last Login:June 03, 2011, 01:52:13 am
United States United States

Religion: ergghhhmmmmnnnnn....
Posts: 1997


Did the big meanies break yer speshulness

Blog entries (48)



Ignore
« Reply #6: June 16, 2007, 02:37:43 pm »

Do you read your ms out loud?  I catch a lot of stuff that way.  Print it and sit down with a highlighter and a tall glass of iced tea. Wink

The main character of my novel was me - big mistake.  Someone proofing it commented that she would not invite the main character to dinner, he was such a cardboard cut-out. <wince>  Of course - I was protecting myself.  So I gave him BO, and an annoying drawl; both will fade and he will become a more pleasant person, but for now I want him to be not pleasant. Wink



I don't do much in the out loud reading - which is probably why the chronic tense problem.  I have tension issues.  Sorry - I couldn't help myself.

I think the main character here has some brass and granite that I don't, but right now I haven't introduced any other characters of lasting significance to work as contrast.  There has to be resolution of course, but deciding whether to introduce characters, keep laying groundwork for the plot, or to try to multilayer them without becoming too complex to read easily once dialog starts in has got me in circles at the moment.

She has to decide where she's going and what she's going to do about all these things - or whether she's going to leave everyone else to their own devices and do something all together different.

I haven't decided whether she's altruistic yet.  If she is that will present a unique challenge because then she becomes obligated to keep trying to pull the rest of the "sisterhoods" buns out of the fire.  The other option is to tell them to go pound sand and do something grand on her own.

Tough call. 
Logged

I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
WarHorse
High Adept Member
******
Last Login:July 04, 2012, 06:05:14 pm
United States United States

Religion: Eclectic Pantheist
Posts: 2994


The little tyke.

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WWW

Ignore
« Reply #7: June 16, 2007, 05:34:16 pm »

I have tension issues.  Sorry - I couldn't help myself.

<channeling Daffy Duck:>  Oh ha ha, it is to laughth.

Quote
I think the main character here has some brass and granite that I don't, but right now I haven't introduced any other characters of lasting significance to work as contrast.

Forcing herself to stay underwater was enough for me to see the brass and granite.  My question is why she has brass and granite.  A family trait?  Or something learned from her mother?  (Perhaps some flash-backs...)

Quote
There has to be resolution of course, but deciding whether to introduce characters, keep laying groundwork for the plot, or to try to multilayer them without becoming too complex to read easily once dialog starts in has got me in circles at the moment.

I introduce a new character or have an existing character pipe up.

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"I've seen knights in armor panic at the first hint of battle.  And I've seen the lowliest unarmed squire pull a spear from his own body to defend a dying horse." - Kevin Costner as Robin of Loxley, Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves.
Mandi
Adept Member
*****
Last Login:June 03, 2011, 01:52:13 am
United States United States

Religion: ergghhhmmmmnnnnn....
Posts: 1997


Did the big meanies break yer speshulness

Blog entries (48)



Ignore
« Reply #8: June 19, 2007, 11:08:29 am »

<channeling Daffy Duck:>  Oh ha ha, it is to laughth.

Forcing herself to stay underwater was enough for me to see the brass and granite.  My question is why she has brass and granite.  A family trait?  Or something learned from her mother?  (Perhaps some flash-backs...)

I introduce a new character or have an existing character pipe up.



I'm thinking the new title - pet title, baby title for the growing story would be Dona Quixote  Cheesy

The next installment we've brought some perspective in.  Biased, but perspective... sort of.

You've tempted me to move her to La Mancha.  Just a vacation home there perhaps, but all the same

http://www.ecauldron.net/forum/index.php?action=viewblog;u=159;id=66

Just hit end if you click on the link, so that way it will take you to the bottom without the endless scrolling.
Logged

I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir

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