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Author Topic: Unexpected Deities  (Read 2073 times)
Ellette
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« Topic Start: March 06, 2011, 04:46:22 pm »

I'm not sure how much of an accurate post subject that is, but I couldn't think of a better one.

Has anyone else ever found themselves being called to a diety they used to dislike?

Recently I've found myself more and more attratched to Freyja, which is strange for me, given that when I was a practicing Asatuar, I often found myself disliking her.  Quite a bit, actually.  I can't quite say why, but something about her rubbed me the wrong way, and I would go out of my way to avoid her.  Yet, I find nearly everything Freyja is associated with has weasled its way in my life.  From cats, to fire (which is strange--I used to be in earth person, but when I moved I found myself with red and black walls, far too many candles, and getting back into fire performance), to magic (perhaps not Seiðr, but spellwork in general which I always thought was a bit... silly), to feathers (my poor jewelry-making is currently infiltrated by this), et cetera.  I wonder if it's due to the fact I work in a rather sensual career, but the fact it seems to have infitrated every bit of my life I find a bit... disconcerting.

Furthermore, I don't seem to have a problem with her anymore.  Which I don't think is a bad thing.  Just strange, especially since the realization came from fairly recently.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2011, 08:03:05 pm by Star, Reason: Correcting typo in subject » Logged

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Daralyn_Dahiana
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« Reply #1: March 08, 2011, 07:51:00 am »

I'm not sure how much of an accurate post subject that is, but I couldn't think of a better one.

Has anyone else ever found themselves being called to a diety they used to dislike?

Recently I've found myself more and more attratched to Freyja, which is strange for me, given that when I was a practicing Asatuar, I often found myself disliking her.  Quite a bit, actually.  I can't quite say why, but something about her rubbed me the wrong way, and I would go out of my way to avoid her.  Yet, I find nearly everything Freyja is associated with has weasled its way in my life.  From cats, to fire (which is strange--I used to be in earth person, but when I moved I found myself with red and black walls, far too many candles, and getting back into fire performance), to magic (perhaps not Seiðr, but spellwork in general which I always thought was a bit... silly), to feathers (my poor jewelry-making is currently infiltrated by this), et cetera.  I wonder if it's due to the fact I work in a rather sensual career, but the fact it seems to have infitrated every bit of my life I find a bit... disconcerting.

Furthermore, I don't seem to have a problem with her anymore.  Which I don't think is a bad thing.  Just strange, especially since the realization came from fairly recently.
Well, in the past I wasn't very fond of Demeter. It wasn't that I disliked her or anything of that sort. It was more of a lack of understanding who she actually was. I used to be, and hope to return to being, a follower of Hecate. In some tales, Hecate helped Demeter "rescue" Persephone from the Hades. So when I was looking for a more motherly goddess, Demeter seemed to be an easy transition since the goddess I already followed was linked to her. Now I am more open to Demeter and hope to get back in touch with the deities I once honored.

(Long story as to why I need to "get back in touch" with them.)
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the witch formerly known as musinladi
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« Reply #2: March 08, 2011, 10:33:48 pm »

I'm not sure how much of an accurate post subject that is, but I couldn't think of a better one.

Has anyone else ever found themselves being called to a diety they used to dislike?

Recently I've found myself more and more attratched to Freyja, which is strange for me, given that when I was a practicing Asatuar, I often found myself disliking her.  Quite a bit, actually.  I can't quite say why, but something about her rubbed me the wrong way, and I would go out of my way to avoid her.  Yet, I find nearly everything Freyja is associated with has weasled its way in my life.  From cats, to fire (which is strange--I used to be in earth person, but when I moved I found myself with red and black walls, far too many candles, and getting back into fire performance), to magic (perhaps not Seiðr, but spellwork in general which I always thought was a bit... silly), to feathers (my poor jewelry-making is currently infiltrated by this), et cetera.  I wonder if it's due to the fact I work in a rather sensual career, but the fact it seems to have infitrated every bit of my life I find a bit... disconcerting.

Furthermore, I don't seem to have a problem with her anymore.  Which I don't think is a bad thing.  Just strange, especially since the realization came from fairly recently.

Sometimes we are called by ones we don't choose. My Matron Goddess found me, not the other way around, and she wouldn't leave me alone tell I acknowledged her. Just try and see what they want and try to make piece with it.
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Lokabrenna
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« Reply #3: March 08, 2011, 10:59:45 pm »

I'm not sure how much of an accurate post subject that is, but I couldn't think of a better one.

Has anyone else ever found themselves being called to a diety they used to dislike?

Recently I've found myself more and more attratched to Freyja, which is strange for me, given that when I was a practicing Asatuar, I often found myself disliking her.  Quite a bit, actually.  I can't quite say why, but something about her rubbed me the wrong way, and I would go out of my way to avoid her.  Yet, I find nearly everything Freyja is associated with has weasled its way in my life.  From cats, to fire (which is strange--I used to be in earth person, but when I moved I found myself with red and black walls, far too many candles, and getting back into fire performance), to magic (perhaps not Seiðr, but spellwork in general which I always thought was a bit... silly), to feathers (my poor jewelry-making is currently infiltrated by this), et cetera.  I wonder if it's due to the fact I work in a rather sensual career, but the fact it seems to have infitrated every bit of my life I find a bit... disconcerting.

Furthermore, I don't seem to have a problem with her anymore.  Which I don't think is a bad thing.  Just strange, especially since the realization came from fairly recently.

I used to have a problem with Aphrodite, especially in high school. The widely-accepted opinion (which I found was also prevalent in some feminist works) is that she's a "slut" and a sex object.

Then I actually started doing some research and I realized just how complex this goddess is, but that's not the strange part. Suddenly, I find myself looking for statues of her online. I found this lovely one on Amazon.com, but since Amazon.ca doesn't carry stuff like that, it's out of my reach for now. Actually, the really strange part was that I started to imagine an ideal altar setup for her. I have it all planned out: candles, an offering bowl, pink flowers (no, I have no idea why pink, it just popped into my head), it looks...very inspiring.

The funny thing is that I can't imagine an altar setup for other the other deities that hold my interest, but I know exactly what I'd do if I were to create an altar space for Her. It's just...weird...
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Lykaios
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« Reply #4: March 09, 2011, 10:40:54 pm »

Has anyone else ever found themselves being called to a diety they used to dislike?

*hesitant sigh* Yes, but in a different way, I think. And sometimes I feel a bit ashamed of the whole mess so I don’t talk about it much, and it’s a long story, but…

When I first started off on my Kemetic (ancient Egyptian) based path, my first contact was with Set, god of—among many things—storms, chaos, and outsiders. One might assume that I would be resistant to that influence. However, Set was a positive force in my life. In fact, he’s the reason I’m still alive. I met him when I was suicidal. When I had challenged the universe to produce one reason why I should keep going in a godless, pointless world where I felt completely alone (not trying to offend anyone there, but that’s how I felt). He showed up and spoke very clearly to me and basically said “You aren't alone. I exist, and by the way, you belong to me. So now what, kid?”

He scared the hell out of me when he did that.

But I felt such an immediate connection to him, and such a burning loyalty for having been “saved” that I accepted him readily, even though it took a long time for me to completely come to terms with the whole of his nature (something I still have to work at sometimes). But that transition, created conflicted feelings in me regarding the rest of the pantheon: most of Set’s myths show him—predictably—in some amount of conflict with other deities. I loved Set, unconditionally, and my inability to reconcile the myths with the depth of my feelings for him gave me a pretty severe “us vs. them” complex in how I thought about the rest of the Kemetic gods.

 I grouped the major players in Set’s myths together in a kind of taboo click who I considered to be the “gods-who-I-would-not-approach”, partly because I feared they wouldn’t accept a follower of Set, and partly because I feared that Set would be offended if I did. [It seems so silly and ridiculously over-literal to me now that I am deeply embarrassed by it.]

One of these “gods-who-I-would-not-approach” was Djehuty (known in Latin as Thoth). I intensely disliked Djehuty, mainly because I thought that, from a practical standpoint, he was a more logical choice of patron for me than Set was. I’m a writer and a teacher, two vocations which I am passionate about and consider major parts of my identity. They are also two vocations which fall under Djehuty’s sphere of influence. But I wouldn’t even consider Djehuty as a potential patron because of his status as a “god-who-I-would-not-approach” and my perception that even admitting I had any connection to him would somehow be betraying Set.

Over time I had numerous experiences (mostly via Set’s sometimes violent clue-by-fours) that helped me get over my issues with Set’s myths (which I still disliked even reading- that will become important in a minute) and even accepted the goddess Ma’at as a second patron (ironically one of Djehuty’s consorts). I slowly got over my “Set-or-bust” mentality. But I still carried some of my issues forward with Djehuty, even though my resistance to the rest of the pantheon subsided—mainly because of the whole “more natural patron than Set” insecurity I was struggling with, and my fear that approaching him might hurt my relationship with Set. I resisted my natural inclination toward Djehuty for six years. Then suddenly he poked me.

 In fact, he spoke, quietly but forcefully; I think what I heard him say was basically “You know...I was born from his forehead”. I went back and checked the myths and, sure enough, I found the reference. There is indeed a myth where (without repeating the whole of it here in great detail- I can give references for anyone who’s interested) Set was basically tricked into eating his rival’s semen and becoming pregnant with it, thus giving birth to Djehuty via his forehead. From a certain perspective, in a certain version of the myths, he was sort-of Djehuty’s mother. I sat literally stunned for a while after rereading the myth. How had I missed that for six years?

Needless to say, I had to reevaluate some things. I felt like I now had a kind of "permission" to go forward in accepting a relationship with Djehuty. There are three statues in my shrine now—Djehuty is one of them. I still feel awkward about it sometimes and torn on how I balance my commitments to both of them, but I’m getting more comfortable with things as time passes.
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Collinsky
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« Reply #5: March 09, 2011, 11:25:33 pm »

Has anyone else ever found themselves being called to a diety they used to dislike?

I found myself called to a whole pantheon that I didn't expect... and while I didn't "dislike" them, I was decidedly neutral, and didn't want to add them to my spiritual practice/worship/whatever. I just felt that they were Not For Me. However, they felt differently, and now I feel ridiculous for having thought it was a pantheon I couldn't feel attached to.

I really wanted my primary deity to be a goddess; having come from a monotheistic religion, worshiping a Him, I really wanted to embrace the idea of goddess. And my primary deity is a god. (A god of the pantheon I didn't want, at that.) I felt resistant to him because I was just so excited about the feminine divine, etc etc. I didn't want a god! (Again, ridiculous, because he's AWESOME.)

I also resisted Brighid, I think partly because so many people claimed her. I've always had the perverse need to veer away from anything popular... I think that I am feeling the same thing for the Morrighan now. I'm not sure if she's calling me at all, but it would be hard to get through to me if she were. Too many people are all, "Ooooh, the Morrighan, oooh, I wear black and I'm so dark and that means I'm deep!" (WHICH is not what I get from anyone here, at all... just a general sense. Which is probably inaccurate, I own that. But it does color my view of tM. Also, I'm the opposite of dark, in my personality, so it feels like we're not "compatible." Which may or may not be the case. But if she were to reach out to me, I'd resist, just on those grounds.

Not sure if any of those apply, but there have been situations where my preconceived notions about the deity and assumptions about what I want/need in my life made me feel like I didn't like a deity. Or, a whole group of them, despite their nudges.  Smiley
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~*~Colleen~*~
When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead.
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