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Author Topic: What sparked your "Rebirth"?  (Read 21520 times)
fletcherfox
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« Reply #15: April 08, 2011, 01:30:01 am »

Many of us mostlikely like myself weren't pagans originaly, i for one was roman catholic, though i do believe paganism does always linger inside someone. As if it's fate.

Now i decided just out of curiosity to make this topic. So i ask everyone here who converted to a pagan path at some point in their life what made them decide to become a pagan. What sparked your rebirth?

So what made to become a pagan?

And for those who were born into paganism, what is that like for you?

I'll start with myself. I was born in a free thinking catholic family which is still love with all my heart, this hasn't changed nor will it ever i believe. But the views of the catholic church and the way it judged and damned people for not living perfect lives just set me off. That with me thinking i would go to hell for my sins. And a severe depression from another source just led me to become so down i tried to take my own life, i felt so alone at this point, there was no god answering me. There was no warmth in general. At this point i was called by norse paganism. Odin gave me the strength to continue living.

This is now quite a stretch behind me, and i am now a proud and happy pagan. Full of life with the might to face and overcome my strugles. I am now more with nature then i ever was during my past. Norse paganism in many ways have given me the ability to heal, for the wounds to close.

And here i am Smiley

So i ask again what made to become a pagan?

I'm interested to see how other people found their path. Also if they've only just made the first steps (Hense it's on the beginner part of the forum)

Awaiting your answers.

Honor and Wisdom.
Legion.

 


Merry Meet!

For me it started when I was very young around 5 I started to see things others didn't, when a family member would pass they would visit me to say good-bye, I would have young children hanging around the hallways.

I never spoke of these things till I was older and I was met with doubt.

I was brought up as a catholic, I served my church for ten years as an alter girl, as I grew older I began to question and almost despise the priest. I had been through too much to believe that god was an all loving being and that all bad comes from Satan, I prefer the Pagan way each deity had a dark side and the bright.

One day my sister and I were going to church and I found $50 I was nine and I bought my first Tarot deck, I'd do readings for friends in secret it was almost like I was Pagan in hiding.

When I was 16 my sister was hit by a car I remember going to the chapel there and praying, finding no solace. Mum came home from the hospital and I remember vividly her telling Dad they don't think she'll make it through the night.

That night I clutched my rosary beads praying over and over still not bringing me a sense of peace. The next day my parents made the choice to turn off the life support.

When we came home the house had this heavy dark feeling, I looked into smudging and cleansed the house it brought me peace.

For me what brought me peace no longer did so I sought a new Peace.

Blessed Be,
Love & Light.
)o(
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homers_child
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« Reply #16: April 08, 2011, 01:27:56 pm »

What sparked your rebirth?

I wasn't really religious as a child because my family weren't hardcore Christians. We celebrated the holidays but nothing more than that. But I grew up with the idea of the Christian God and Jesus Christ being the "Divine". Then, around 10-12 years old, I started reading about Greek Mythology. I grew extremely interested in it and I felt there was something "there", if you will. I started believing in them a little bit but I had my reservations because I thought I would "go to Hell" if I believed in anything other than God and Christ. Because that was the little bit I knew of Christianity, that God was a vengeful and jealous God. Well, I went through some doubting all the way into my teenage years but always felt a connection to the Greek gods.

One day I had a sign from Diana (I use her Roman name out of respect for general usage.) and I knew that Hellenism was the right path for me. Because I never truly believed in something so deeply as I believed in her sign. I had asked for a sign from the gods numerous times. But only when I was severely doubting did she give me such an obvious sign.

I've been through many flirtations with atheism ever since, but I keep coming back to Hellenism.
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dainramis
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« Reply #17: June 27, 2011, 05:27:31 am »


I'm interested to see how other people found their path. Also if they've only just made the first steps (Hense it's on the beginner part of the forum)

Awaiting your answers.


As my introduction was titled "Fresh Meat for the Grinder" this looks like the least painful place to throw my hand into the blender at, or put my foot in my mouth however it ends up working out.  (I looked at the thread that Sunflower linked earlier but I think this thread fits better to what I am looking for)

My "rebirth" happened through a dream that I had about a year ago.  I have always been a vivid dreamer.  I can usually remember my entire dream/ dreams when I wake up, but usually I don't think about them too hard and they eventually pass from memory as the day goes on.  I say this because it allows me to know what my standard dreams are like... this one was not one of them.

First off, I was pretty much awake when it started.  I was having a very hard time going to sleep, and all of a sudden I was in the woods with a bear right in front of me, raging out, for the lack of a better term.  It was standing on its hind legs roaring and swiping the air, it then "clapped" its paws together and I was in a cave... 

The cave was dimly lit.  I could see shadows on the walls that just looked like natural indentations in the rock with a broken stalagmite on the ground.... nice standard cave.  I walked down the corridor to my left and followed it as it snaked back and around, eventually leading me to another chamber that had a fire breathing dragon in it.  I tried to fight and chase it like I usually do in my dreams but I couldn't get anything productive done other than managing to stay alive.  I then retreated back down the corridor looking for another way to take this guy on and came back to the first room I was in. 

This time there was a book on the "stalagmite" and a golden light was shining down on the pedestal.  I looked at the book and there were pretty much Hieroglyphics on it.  I couldn't understand them in my mind, but I was able to read them out loud some how.  When I did that the room started to glow and several men (8-10) seemed to wake up out of their holes in the walls.  They hung their feet out and started stretching like they had just woken up from a nice long sleep.  Each one was different and most were wearing loose fitting, well worn clothes.  Others were wearing long quilted shirts that were actually the undergarments for suits of armor.  As they climbed out of their holes they all started putting on various types of armor, all of it very well worn and well used.  As they were getting dressed each one took time to come over to me and introduce themselves, usually as "Uncle" so-and-so (unfortunately I wasn't able to fully get their names other than the "uncle" part) They all warmly greeted me with either a strong handshake or hug or both. 

After every one had made their introductions they took me over to a much bigger cut-out in the back corner of the.  Here they reverently introduced me to my "Grandfather" who just barely made his presence known (he was still very much in the shadow but seemed to me to have a strong beard and something over the top of his face and head, like a big hat or thick hair, and was much bigger than any of us in the room by a good 50% or so)  He gave me a nod of approval, like he had accepted me or something and then went back where he came from.  At this point most of my "Uncle" had big smiles on their faces and said "time to have some fun!", eagerly grabbing their weapons off the racks that had appeared behind us and they all started charging down the tunnel back towards the dragon... very much looking forward to the fight to come. 

The weapon... if you can even call it that... that I ended up with was a good size piece of rope with a large wooden block on one end and a small spear on the other.... Apparently it was my job to take the rope and wrap it around the dragon's mouth so that he couldn't breathe fire on us and to use the spear side to stab the dragon in the heart.  My Uncles were mostly there cheering me on and keeping the dragon somewhat contained, as they waited for me to find an opportunity to kill the dragon... I did not disappoint...

After the dragon was dead, I was congratulated by every one present and we started walking through the woods laughing and telling stories to each other.  We quickly came to a village of sod houses where kids were running around playing, women were talking and making a giant feast for every one.  People started coming up to me to introduce themselves and welcoming me home...  The children were wearing loose fitting pants and shirts, while most of the women cooking had their hair tied up in braids held tight to their heads.  Most of the women and some of the girls were wearing apron looking dresses of various colors with large brooches at the shoulders holding the front to the back together over white-ish under dresses. 

I started wrestling and playing sport like games with the men, sometimes winning sometimes losing but always having good fun... Things started fading out at this point as I started into a very comfortable sleep.... I had just been welcomed back to the hearth like a long lost son...

That is pretty much what brought me to this point.... I am still very new and very curious...I naturally have my own interpretation of this, but I would like input from others, and have many questions I would like to get answered... if you guys could point me in the correct directions on this forum or in growth.
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Waterfall
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« Reply #18: June 27, 2011, 04:44:41 pm »

Many of us mostlikely like myself weren't pagans originaly, i for one was roman catholic, though i do believe paganism does always linger inside someone. As if it's fate.

Now i decided just out of curiosity to make this topic. So i ask everyone here who converted to a pagan path at some point in their life what made them decide to become a pagan. What sparked your rebirth?

So what made to become a pagan?

I was just telling someone the other day that I felt like I was meant to be on the path I'm on, and that no matter what, I somehow would have ended up here. Even if I'd had a more positive experience as a Christian and strong ties to that community, I still think I'd turn out pagan. Just might have taken longer.

My biological father said something to me once (I don't remember what) and that's what sparked me to move away from Christianity. It made me figure out that Christianity wasn't right for me. I spent a few years not being anything really, although I did figure out I was polytheistic pretty quickly.

As for my current path, I didn't find that until I got myself in a stupidly dangerous situation. I prayed for help to any deity that would listen and I got an answer and all the help I needed. I also stupidly promised that I would follow whatever god helped me for the rest of my life, and although I got a "freebie" that one time, I still feel like I need to carry through on that promise. Of course, I do like this path (most of the time) and I don't think I could ever completely leave it. It just feels so right.

Not sure I'd call it a rebirth, although in some ways, it is. It changed my entire outlook on everything. Not that anyone in my life really noticed, and if they did, they probably just chalked it up to that stupidly dangerous situation. I also don't really remember much from before. It feels like it was so long ago, but it's only been five years. But it just feels so unimportant now and I couldn't bother to remember most of it. Which is probably for the best since there's a ton of bad stuff - I know it all happened, but it just feels like it was a movie I watched rather than something I lived through. So, in some ways, it kinda was a rebirth for me.
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Legion
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« Reply #19: June 29, 2011, 04:28:32 pm »


Typical that loki answered then ej. Oh well could've been worse, atleast beings like surt didn't hear your call there.

I did the same though, i was fortunate enough to get an answer from Odin myself. In my case it was dispair which led to my "prayer" to whomever might answer. It was that or die, was in a point where life seemed meaningless.

Now i stand tall with pride again.

Legion.
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SadieMae
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« Reply #20: June 30, 2011, 08:33:20 am »

Many of us mostlikely like myself weren't pagans originaly, i for one was roman catholic, though i do believe paganism does always linger inside someone. As if it's fate.

Now i decided just out of curiosity to make this topic. So i ask everyone here who converted to a pagan path at some point in their life what made them decide to become a pagan. What sparked your rebirth?

So what made to become a pagan?
 

I'm still quite new to this. I was vaguely introduced to Wicca years and years ago as some of my university friends were Wiccan, and I did a little bit of reading, but it never became more than a vague interest.

I've been wondering what has sparked my recent rediscovery, and I honestly think the thing that triggered my rediscovery of Paganism was falling pregnant. I had been interested in religion for a long time, and had flirted with Buddhism and even Islam (I found - and still find - the ritual aspects of Islam very beautiful). I was raised Christian like a lot of people here albeit a very liberal branch of Christianity (the Uniting Church - we had an out and proud lesbian minister for years), but Christianity never really "spoke" to me. I caused a lot of trouble at Sunday School as a little girl, lol. However, the experience of pregnancy, childbirth and then rearing a small baby (a) forced me to slow down and re-assess my life, and (b) also triggered some very odd, and somehow very old emotions and instincts which Paganism seemed to describe very well. In order to get through the whole thing, particularly the early days and weeks with a brand new baby, I needed to tune out my cynicism and tune into something much older than myself, and just let it all happen, which wasn't easy for a control freak like me. However, I think I have come out a much better, and certainly much more grounded, person as a result of it, and now I want to know exactly what it was I tuned into.

Like I said, I am still new and out exploring. Doing a LOT of reading. And lurking in places like these forums : ) I was surprised to find that Druidism is what is really resounding with me right now, but I'm just going to go with the flow.
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teardragon
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« Reply #21: June 30, 2011, 11:15:45 am »

So what made to become a pagan?
I was born Lutheran and raised as such.  Before I became pagan (the first time), I was actually at the height of my Christian spirituality, going to all sorts of churches with friends and learning what I could about the religion.  I later found that my reason for visiting so many churches was more for the atomosphere (almost as if I was seeking a coven before I knew it), and I was searching for something to fulfill me.  The learning was just me seeking knowledge in every form, as my dragon aspect makes me do so often.

This was also the time I was finding my sexuality.  I asked my pastor, "Does God really hate lesbians and gays?"

To which he responded, "He does not hate them, but he is disappointed with them.  It is not natural, which is why they go to hell if they do not repent."

"But why is a god of love prone to disapprove of love, just in a different form?"

My pastor couldn't really answer me, without circular reasoning (they hated me for always asking these kinds of questions).  It came down to, 'Why should I believe in a god that does not truly love me for who I am?'  I had been studying other religions at the time, and found that I should be searching out another path.  I found paganism, but could not find a pantheon or even one God/dess to keep my attention, so I fell to being an agnostic for several cold, hollow years.

And then Kali-ma stepped in and made me understand what a deity was really supposed to feel like in your life.  And that's how I came to be a pagan.  Smiley
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Waterfall
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« Reply #22: June 30, 2011, 08:08:57 pm »

Typical that loki answered then ej. Oh well could've been worse, atleast beings like surt didn't hear your call there.

I did the same though, i was fortunate enough to get an answer from Odin myself. In my case it was dispair which led to my "prayer" to whomever might answer. It was that or die, was in a point where life seemed meaningless.

Now i stand tall with pride again.

Legion.

Yeah, but it's not as bad as some people think. Or maybe it is from their point of view. But yes, it could have been worse. Good thing Loki was quick to take me up on that offer.
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Chakabe
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« Reply #23: July 02, 2011, 08:29:48 pm »

So what made to become a pagan?

Well this is a story that starts with me as a child having to go to church when I was a kid and even to CCD to get communion at the age of 9. I remember sitting through many a boring sunday morning in the church where my grandparents live. The same organ music and priest doing the same things as far as I could tell. I was young I heard Jesus "whispered" in my ear to many times.

Later on down the line we kinda waned off of church and for the most part stayed neutral (Me at least my mother is still catholic. My father is more or less a Deitist so to speak.

I guess my start on the path was in the form of getting my runes, then my tarot cards.I picked up a few books on the subject of paganism. My first being "The ultimate book of shadows" by Silver RavenWolf. Which I found out later was to be taken with a truck load of salt (That I later cleansed my room with a pile in each i got out of the truck load *Kidding*)  then one day last school year a few friends of mine I found out one was a Shaman, the other one was into Voodoo. As soon as I found this out I was sucked in all the way. Since then I have been in a vortex of knowledge..

On the subject of how my parents knowing I told them and they were like "To each his own" so it lends to some awkward situation all in all but they are still very accepting of the fact and I'm glad for it.

)o( Blessed be!
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« Reply #24: July 02, 2011, 09:26:26 pm »

Many of us mostlikely like myself weren't pagans originaly, i for one was roman catholic, though i do believe paganism does always linger inside someone. As if it's fate.

Now i decided just out of curiosity to make this topic. So i ask everyone here who converted to a pagan path at some point in their life what made them decide to become a pagan. What sparked your rebirth?

So what made to become a pagan?

Interesting thread Smiley

I was raised as a Christian and even went to Sunday school. My mom would even read us the bible every night before bed. But once I was a bit older I started asking alot of questions that no one could answer- just have faith they said. I began to read the bible on my own & the story of Job set me over. None of what I had been told was making any sense to me. I knew I just didn't believe the Divine was this way & that spirituality wasn't this way for me.

I was very very young & naive. I was raised to believe this was all there was. I didn't know u could change religions lol or that there were other religions out there unless u were raised in them. So I said I was an atheist but I did believe in God lol

The first time I even heard of paganism was when I was 16 or so. I was talking about how i believed god was within us all & within the trees & someone told me that it sounded like I was wiccan. I didnt think much of it at the time. But then when I was 18 my grandmother had a book called The Encyclopedia of Witches & Witchcraft. I was curious and began to read the entire huge book lol. But when I got to the part on Wicca I was like omg! This is what I believe! & there is a name for it & other people believe it too- shock & amazement lol

From that moment on, I threw myself into it all. I read as many books as I could get my hands on & began to practice Wicca. But after 1-2 years I soon began to realize that I had jumped the gun lol I was so excited about discovering Wicca I hadn't really put alot of thought into it being my perfect fit. I realized I didn't really agree with all that Wicca was, I didn't like it being quite so structured, I didn't really feel it was right going too eclectic while claiming Wicca as my path & realized that I payed almost sole attention to the Goddess.

I felt a bit down and lost about it all. But I met the most wonderful woman on an online forums who introduced me to the Dianic path. And at once I knew I was home. There was not as much info out there on it as there was with Wicca and less groups online too. But I managed to find them! I also took this time to really focus on myself. I wrote a ton about what I did believe and what made sense to me. I also joined an online study group on the Dianic path that helped me think things through.

It was definitely a rebirth for me.
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« Reply #25: July 02, 2011, 11:41:10 pm »


I have no idea, really. I've always been interested in other faiths and have always read up on Paganism in particular (Drawing Down the Moon was a big influence). Then one day, after considering myself a Christo-Pagan for /far/ too long; I just said "fuck it" and threw off Christianity like a wet cloak. I kinda miss Catholicism sometimes; but I'd never dream of going back.

I'm only taking my first baby steps as a full-time Pagan and find my inherent laziness to be an impediment to practice. I'm considering creating a religious calendar to strengthen my practice; with vocational vows in the near future.
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« Reply #26: July 03, 2011, 05:37:32 am »

I'm interested to see how other people found their path. Also if they've only just made the first steps (Hense it's on the beginner part of the forum)

I'm making baby steps ^_^

I remember, as a young teen, wanting to make stuff happen and praying to a God of some description to get it to happen. Only I was also a staunch atheist, and talking to "God" made me feel uncomfortable, so I'd address prayers to "The Universe" Wink

I think just before I turned 15, I found out about this "phenomenon" or whatever you want to call it; Otherkin. There's been a lot of thought in that area too, that I probably don't need to go in to here, but it is relevant because a few months back I recently went back onto an otherkin forum I used to frequent a lot a couple of years ago and, out of boredom, started reading the topics in the religious section of the forum. The section on paganism really seemed to call to me, though, and I ended up buying Scott Cunningham's Wiccan Guide for the solitary practitioner.

Parts of the book called to me too, but not enough for me to step completely onto that path. I still thought of myself as an atheist, for one, so the idea of a God and Goddess put me off. I decided that it was obviously not for me, and to stop researching Wicca and just carry on my atheistic path -- that is until my pagan friend, as part of an RPG game where she played a powerful witch, brought some of her ritual things to the game and did a mock circle casting and tarot reading. The tarot I was suspect of, but the casting, and her Book of Shadows and other artefacts encouraged me to start looking again, but into more diverse pagan sites etc, rather than focusing on Wicca.

Shortly after this I discovered the concept of pantheism, which fits me a lot better than atheism does. And very recently I read another book, Paganism: An Introduction to Earth-Centered Religions, which has made me doubt whether magic(k) is the psychological aide I'd always believed it was, and whether we might actually be able to affect parts of the universe outside of ourselves.

My head is a slight mess of contradictions, though. For someone who doesn't actually believe in a God/Goddess or a pantheon of them, I feel a strange pull towards some members of the Norse pantheon Undecided Thor and Odin seem to alternate, and also Freya.

But yeah, this is about where I am. Currently reading lots, rather than practising, and tentatively claiming the label "Pantheistic Pagan" Cheesy
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« Reply #27: July 04, 2011, 11:50:45 pm »

For me, it was a general disdain for the Abrahamic religions that brought me to paganism. What really opened my eyes was the lack of critical thinking in these religions and how they scorn those who simply ask questions. "Why would blasphemy laws be needed if they were so sure of their faith?" I often asked myself.

Plus, my forefathers were pagans who had Christianity forced upon them with a sword. The Tuatha Dé Danann and I share the same blood. They are my family. They, too, are easier to relate to, since They possess qualities more human than Jesus and Yahweh. They, like mortal men and women, are not perfect and They make mistakes. The god of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam expects too much and his rules go against human nature.

Paganism, also, is organic and it was here first. Every time I brought this up, I was given a stupid answer. I do not know anyone who can doubt this.
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