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Author Topic: Are young children more "connected"?  (Read 7776 times)
Mandi
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« Reply #15: June 21, 2007, 03:44:05 pm »

I am going to disagree with most replies here.  My own (purely subjective) experience is that, as a child I was closer to the supernatural world.  Much of my adult exploring has been about trying (wholly unsuccessfully) to recapture that closeness.


I guess that's what I'm trying to get at.  No one will ever, barring horrible tragedy as an adult be in a place where they have the recreation time, and the lack of worry that they did as a child.  To draw a line between this state of being and spiritual connectivity strikes me as deliberately exclusive and even mistakenly penitent.  Oh damn me, I've grown up and grown away from god.  Knowledge and control as being ungodly.

Is this a crossover from birth religions where the faithful were encouraged to be as children in their gods hands?  To exist in a place of deliberate acceptance of the benevolence or wrath of a deity as being deserved, whether you know why or not.  To feel that all things around you are somehow a cause and effect consequence of your actions, although you can't quite figure out the chain.

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« Reply #16: June 21, 2007, 03:59:19 pm »

I am going to disagree with most replies here.  My own (purely subjective) experience is that, as a child I was closer to the supernatural world.  Much of my adult exploring has been about trying (wholly unsuccessfully) to recapture that closeness.


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« Reply #17: June 21, 2007, 06:24:54 pm »

I am going to disagree with most replies here.

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« Reply #18: June 22, 2007, 11:31:51 pm »

The key is, just nod, listen, and be accepting of what they say, even if it freaks you out.  Ask casual questions that lead them to talk further, and make them think, but dont put them down.  You dont want to scare your child into suppressing what is naturally there.  Teach her boundaries however, when it comes to other people's rights as sometimes they can come up with info they arent able to access in a normal way.  It might be a good time to learn shielding techniques yourself, just in case <G>, and over time, teach your child to shield as well.  Empathic abilities seems to be relatively common, well at least in my family!  Shielding can be useful.  I believe Randall just posted an article on that?

Gina

While I somewhat agree with most of the thoughts here, I have to ask this:

As a parent (and I'm coming from a parent's pov here), how does one distingish between a child that is more connected as what was previoulsy discussed on this thread, and a child that is simply making it up? That to me would be the hardest part. How do you know where that boundary is? My son, who is almost 7, loves telling stores about things he's seen ... whether its out in the yard, or in his bedroom. Most of the time its about some giant bug that wants to eat him. *g*. But there are times when he comes up with some stunningly intelligent questions about God, and the like. (My ex-hub is teaching him basic bible stories.)   Which then leads to the question when divorced parents have two differing beliefs on religion ... how to teach both sides without the child becoming terribly confused? (I sense a spinoff thread on that one.)

I have been wondering this same thing myself when it comes to my own kids. My daughter is just reaching that age where I'd love to start teaching her very simple stuff. And my son's starting to demand answers. Smiley
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« Reply #19: June 23, 2007, 07:38:05 am »


As a parent (and I'm coming from a parent's pov here), how does one distingish between a child that is more connected as what was previoulsy discussed on this thread, and a child that is simply making it up?


I dont think there is a way, with absolute certainty.

My daughter had an imaginary friend and my son was always afraid of his closet. I think both had some grain of truth in what they felt. I never denied their reality to them, but I didn't make a big deal out of it either so they did not learn to get attention by spinning fantastic stories. I always treated it as if they were telling me the truth without freaking out. I also had some strange feelings in my son's room but never told him about it.

Yesterday, A Haunting was on Discovery Channel. There was this story about this little kid who claimed he saw some kind of entity. As the story progressed, I began to really think (if this show was even remotely accurate) that this kid was being abused either physically or sexually. This kid was having a great many symptoms and red flags that suggested abuse and nothing paranormal. This was not ever discussed on this show.

I think that is one thing that parents always need to consider, is it just imagination, is it something paranormal or is it symptomatic of a serious problem? Tough one to call.
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« Reply #20: June 23, 2007, 09:52:38 am »

While I somewhat agree with most of the thoughts here, I have to ask this:

As a parent (and I'm coming from a parent's pov here), how does one distingish between a child that is more connected as what was previoulsy discussed on this thread, and a child that is simply making it up?

For me, at least, there have been perhaps two times ever amoungst the billion and twelve daily silly things my daughter has said that have made me stand up and take notice.  I have literally felt forced to notice what she said.  And my response has never been anything more than a calm, quiet "Oh really, that's very nice" or something of that nature.  I'm not sure I want her to know that I feel very strongly that she's seeing things that I might not be able to.

Here is specifically what happened the first time, in case anyone is up for a story.  lol

We live in a small town that hosts a small town carnival.  The rides are always sort of rickety and half of them are shut down for repairs and such.  My daughter was, about 2.5 years old and wanted to ride a children's train ride that was too small for parents to ride along.  I was afraid that she would stand up or try to get out of the car while the ride was going, but I made the choice to let her go on the ride and asked the ride operator to keep a close eye on her.  So she rode the ride and I stood there, eyes glued to her, heart in my throat just hoping the thing would end and she was "yeee haw!"ing her way around the little track and had a wonderful time.  And when she got off I was feeling sort of silly for having been overprotective and such and I said to her, "Was that fun?  You did such a good job and you were such a big girl riding that ride all by yourself!" and she replied back to me "Oh I didn't ride by myself mama, Great Grandma rode with me!" and then ran off to some other carnival delight.  And, (call me crazy), I just *know* that indeed she did ride with Great Grandma, who passed away about four months prior.  At that point in my life I would have laughed in your face at the notion of such a thing so I'll completely understand if y'all think I'm nutty.  lol
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« Reply #21: June 23, 2007, 07:53:32 pm »

And, (call me crazy), I just *know* that indeed she did ride with Great Grandma, who passed away about four months prior.  At that point in my life I would have laughed in your face at the notion of such a thing so I'll completely understand if y'all think I'm nutty.  lol

Oh no, I believe you!  The thing is, she didnt come to you all melodramatic, and make a big deal out of it.  She just casually announced it, and ran off to do something else.  That speaks volumes.   Why would she make that up? If it was for attention, she sure didnt act like it!  She didnt act afraid prior or afterward, so it wasnt like she imagined it evidently to make her feel more secure.  Perhaps Great Grandma sensed your worry, or shared it, and just rode along for the ride to make sure she was okay.   

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« Reply #22: June 26, 2007, 10:36:27 pm »

As the mom of an almost 4-year-old, this is a question that's come up alot in our house too.  The one thing that has helped us is that it's like she has a different tone of voice depending on whether she's talking about the things she sees and the stories she makes up.  I agree with some of the previous posters when it comes to kids being more open because they haven't been told not to be.

We're doing our best to keep her open to possiblities.  We talk about the fairies that live in the two big trees in our yard and have kept her daycare teachers aware of our beliefs so they know where her references to 'Daddy Sunshine' and 'Mommy Moon' come from; we don't want her to be told not to make up stories.  Kind of a big step considering she goes to a Baptist daycare, but they're really open so it wasn't that big of a deal.
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« Reply #23: June 27, 2007, 10:59:02 am »

We're doing our best to keep her open to possiblities.  We talk about the fairies that live in the two big trees in our yard and have kept her daycare teachers aware of our beliefs so they know where her references to 'Daddy Sunshine' and 'Mommy Moon' come from; we don't want her to be told not to make up stories.  Kind of a big step considering she goes to a Baptist daycare, but they're really open so it wasn't that big of a deal.

that always helps - my eldest ones went to a pentecostal preschool but the only time religion even got a mention was that the end of year 'award' would be a book that happened to be a child's bible story. Otherwise they were open and accepting, probably why all three went to the same place lol
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« Reply #24: June 27, 2007, 11:41:00 am »

that always helps - my eldest ones went to a pentecostal preschool but the only time religion even got a mention was that the end of year 'award' would be a book that happened to be a child's bible story. Otherwise they were open and accepting, probably why all three went to the same place lol


It seems to be a rather bizzare fact of life that most daycare programs are attached to a church of some kind or another.  I've wondered about that before... lol
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« Reply #25: June 27, 2007, 11:50:34 am »

It seems to be a rather bizzare fact of life that most daycare programs are attached to a church of some kind or another.  I've wondered about that before... lol

Maybe it's a regional thing...  I've been looking into daycare for our little one who will be arriving in August, and only a handful of the daycares in our area are church-affiliated.  Most are either independent centers, or run in someone's home.
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« Reply #26: June 27, 2007, 11:53:07 am »

It seems to be a rather bizzare fact of life that most daycare programs are attached to a church of some kind or another.  I've wondered about that before... lol

The cynic in me almost wants to make some comment about them being where people actually have the wherewithall and resources to do community type stuff... but that's the cynic in me. Largely it's actually probably more a resource/funds thing. Especially when you get into legal/safety/insurance requirements.

Sorry, I think some put cynic-juice in my coffee this morning!

Maybe it's a regional thing...  I've been looking into daycare for our little one who will be arriving in August, and only a handful of the daycares in our area are church-affiliated.  Most are either independent centers, or run in someone's home.

I think like a LOT of things it is a regional thing. Back over there church was such a big part of the community that one church or another had a hand in everything. And I mean everything.
Here, I'm guessing it's going to be very different.

I've said before I used to live in a very strange place Wink
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« Reply #27: June 28, 2007, 04:30:12 pm »

I'm not sure if any of this is going to make sense, but I'm going to try hard not to start out everything I say with an apology so... here goes!  lol

I'm mostly here today because of several things that have happened over the past couple of years with my daughter (now 4 years old) and her apparent (perhaps) connectedness to something that I've either never had or have lost with age and upbringing. 

And my question is if you think that children in general stand closer to Spirit than adults do?  And if you think they do, how do you (as a parent or teacher) go about retaining that closeness as the child ages?    




My children both appeared 'wise beyond their years' when they were very young, and my son still retains a good measure of it. My daughter does not, she is very uncomfortable with spiritual things nowadays, unfortunately.

Much of this 'loss' of apparent psychic knowledge gets submerged as children try to fit in in school. Other children are quick to pick up on one who is apparently 'different' in the way they view the world and teasing leads to bullying for the child who doesn't fit the accepted mould. My daughter soon learned to keep her opinions to herself, and gradually let her 'knowledge' go. My son was a natural rebel, and refused to join the other 'normals'. He got into fights and was expelled from school at age 7! This was a blessing in disguise, as he ended up in a special school, having being diagnosed with learning difficulties, (Dyslexia and dyspraxia).
The special school did not stifle his spiritual side, but allowed his creativity free rein, resulting in a young adult with a real connection to Spirits and the Earth.

Cheers, Midori
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« Reply #28: June 29, 2007, 09:07:55 am »


My children both appeared 'wise beyond their years' when they were very young, and my son still retains a good measure of it. My daughter does not, she is very uncomfortable with spiritual things nowadays, unfortunately.

Much of this 'loss' of apparent psychic knowledge gets submerged as children try to fit in in school. Other children are quick to pick up on one who is apparently 'different' in the way they view the world and teasing leads to bullying for the child who doesn't fit the accepted mould. My daughter soon learned to keep her opinions to herself, and gradually let her 'knowledge' go. My son was a natural rebel, and refused to join the other 'normals'. He got into fights and was expelled from school at age 7! This was a blessing in disguise, as he ended up in a special school, having being diagnosed with learning difficulties, (Dyslexia and dyspraxia).
The special school did not stifle his spiritual side, but allowed his creativity free rein, resulting in a young adult with a real connection to Spirits and the Earth.

Cheers, Midori

This moves more towards what I was thinking about.  I don't think as you get older you see any less, you just don't talk about it as much.  Because you start to apply critical thinking skills, and it is something that you can't necessarily categorize, you just keep it under your hat.

I'm not going to state what I think I just saw until I have a conclusive opinion regarding what it was.  I can't really figure out what it was, and I don't want to be like *hey joe... I just saw a ... something?*

We become more afraid to mis-diagnose our realities, so we reserve judgment.  A kid doesn't worry about classifying things so much because they don't really have established categories yet and they aren't expected to be able to identify everything they see since they're kids.  There is monster, fairy, and ghost, and that's pretty much it for a kids categories of the supernatural.  These would divide down to sub categories of threatening and non threatening.

Tangentially....

Movies that try to package normally threatening things as being innocuous bother me.  Like Monsters Inc./ Shrek. Yeah it's cute, but I think 'monsters' serve a purpose in our psyche as kids.  It's the first big thing that might be dangerous in our realities for the most part.  Maybe something happens, develops, clicks - and your character gets a bit of it's early on shaping from dealing with that controlled fear.  Mom is a room away, the light switch is 8 feet away, but the wood grain on the closet door looks like it's melting again.  Problem solving/ decision making skills even.

After the "monsters" have served their purpose, they seem to move on.  By making monsters a realm of safety, I think kids are sort of cheated of that development, or that it might be delayed by padding the experience so to speak. 
 
Back towards the topic though...

There were a lot of early societies that felt - and many that still do feel that the supernatural is a threat to kids, and even took steps to keep the supernatural away from their kids.  Juniper beads, Nazar Boncugu (Turkish, against evil eye) etc.  Stories of fairies stealing children, changelings and so on.

In some cultures the belief in dangerous supernatural things is encouraged because kids will remember to stay in the yard after dark if there is a being in the woods waiting to carry them away.  It also simplifies the process of explaining danger in a way that is threatening, but not nearly as scary as if you leave the yard after dark, there are animals waiting to eat you.

I worry that we open our kids to dangerous experiences (mentally, if not physically) sometimes through our desire for them to be more special than we feel we are.  I'm just a plain old boring adult, but by subtlety directing my childs belief, then they will grow up feeling that they are more special than I did.  But at the same time it does alienate them from peers, because in this case special, or different is a comparison.  It focuses on being deliberately different than.  Which for a kid isn't really a state that is comfortable.  Especially since they have the limited categories of threatening and non threatening.  Different can often be polarized into threatening by other children and rejected without ever being examined. 
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And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
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« Reply #29: June 29, 2007, 10:58:01 am »

I dont think there is a way, with absolute certainty.

My daughter had an imaginary friend and my son was always afraid of his closet.

Total side note, I spent a year and a half living with an invisible gerbil (my daughter's). It got everywhere!
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