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Author Topic: Still seeking after all of these years  (Read 4803 times)
outlaw393
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« Topic Start: April 24, 2011, 01:00:49 am »

This is an extension to my introduction thread. I figured it would be easier to make another thread than to fill up my introduction thread with more discussion. Anyways, in that thread I made a list of religions I sampled and otherwise studied in depth:

1. Christianity
  - Lutheran
  - Pentecostal
  - Catholicism
  - Mormonism

2. Islam
3. Taoism
4. Buddhism
5. Satanism

6. Judaism
7. New Age

Forms of Paganism

1. Wicca
2. Asatru/Odinism
3. General paganism/goddess worship
4. Hellenism
5. Kemeticism

"Thread replyers"  Cheesy have suggested that I figure out what the religions are missing and why they didn't fit. Well, I'll bold those I know don't fit my beliefs. Whether due to the religion's individual dogma or a pantheon I no longer follow...

Currently I don't consider myself involved with any paganism, though I'm big into the new age beliefs. If I have an affinity for any Pagan gods it would be some of the Greek gods and some of the Norse gods. I tend to believe if you share blood (so to speak - have ancestry with the people who used to worship those gods) with a pantheon you should follow them and you will have some sort of affinity for those gods.

I still have affinity with the Norse gods I used to work with - Odin, Thor, Freyja and Loki - but as of right now I don't deal with them. I like my gods to care about me and Odin, who chose me himself and is the reason I started researching Asatru way back when - surely doesn't care about me one bit. Seems he only wants one more warrior to help him in Valhalla. I can channel him sometimes - and he said to me, "You are still mine." Creepy? A bit. But I think he was referring to my mark I took - I have his valknot tattooed on my arm. Smiley

Right now I am involved with Pentecostal Christianity - the tongues speaking, faith healing, bible literalist Christians. This is my third year now that I've been involved with this church. I can feel the presence of god there. I don't agree with their beliefs 100%. Now, the catch is, if I don't think too much, I can stay here. Problem is, I can think for myself and I have issues with the buffet-style advice I've gotten from other Christians who take what they agree with and ignore what they don't agree with. I've noticed older people - my parents for example - handle their doubts this way. Ignore them. Well, sorry, I'm from a younger generation and this is unacceptable for me.

Bottom line - I've found Easter still has meaning, though I am skeptical and very doubtful that a man ever returned from any grave.

If only I could find a kindred or coven or something around here. Sigh.
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Winter Lavender
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« Reply #1: April 24, 2011, 04:13:17 pm »

This is an extension to my introduction thread. I figured it would be easier to make another thread than to fill up my introduction thread with more discussion. Anyways, in that thread I made a list of religions I sampled and otherwise studied in depth:

It sounds like you've definately thrown yourself out there and studied many religions, so I can tell you're open-minded. I'm going to say this...

Are you looking for community over individual religious beliefs?  The religions you've listed have been heard of by most everybody because they have so many followers.  Have you tried sitting down and writing out your own unique beliefs instead of trying to squeeze yourself into to fit the beliefs of others?  I mean, fitting into a specific religion works for a lot of people.  Many can just walk right into Christianity, Judaism, or a Pagan path and find that it resonates with them so well that they adapt to it.  Others needs to seek out what they BELIEVE first, and then maybe try finding where they fit the best.

Ask yourself these questions to start out with:

-How would you describe your idea of god/deity/the divine?  Is there one god? Are there many deities?  Is the divine simply a force that surrounds you? Do you believe in spirits?

-Do you desire fellowship and/or community?  If so, then a solitary path might not be the perfect fit for you.

-Do you believe in or enjoy working with energy/magic? 

-Do you like to put an emphasis on rituals?

-Would you rather worship in a church or outdoors in nature?

-Would you prefer a Holy book or written rules that you could refer to?

Ask yourself these questions first, and there are many other ways to narrow down your beliefs.  I would definately suggest writing them down to get a clear view of what you really believe in.

I hope some other members can give you advice, too, but that is just mine.
I wish you luck in all your endeavors!  Finding the path that suits us can be a struggle, but don't ever give up!  If you stick around at the Cauldron there are many helpful people who will be able to answers your questions or concerns as they come up in your life.

~Lavender
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"Embracing the ancient
while trees gently whisper
those intimate
longed-for words
The greet wheel
is still revolving
with untouchable sovereignty
so invulnerable." ~Eluveitie
outlaw393
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« Reply #2: April 24, 2011, 11:18:19 pm »


Ask yourself these questions first, and there are many other ways to narrow down your beliefs.  I would definitely suggest writing them down to get a clear view of what you really believe in.

I hope some other members can give you advice, too, but that is just mine.
I wish you luck in all your endeavors!  Finding the path that suits us can be a struggle, but don't ever give up!  If you stick around at the Cauldron there are many helpful people who will be able to answers your questions or concerns as they come up in your life.

~Lavender


I shall answer one question at a time.  Cool

-How would you describe your idea of god/deity/the divine?  Is there one god? Are there many deities?  Is the divine simply a force that surrounds you? Do you believe in spirits?

My answer: There are many Gods, though I do not believe in them all. I tend to believe in gods that I've experienced, or at least accept the possibility they are real. Yes, I believe in spirits, and ghosts. I've actually seen ghosts.

-Do you desire fellowship and/or community?  If so, then a solitary path might not be the perfect fit for you.

My answer: Yes. A solitary path wouldn't work, I hate getting lonely and/or being alone in my beliefs.

-Do you believe in or enjoy working with energy/magic? 

My answer: I work with energy all the time. Mostly with chakras and crystals.

-Do you like to put an emphasis on rituals?

My answer: I don't do rituals anymore.

-Would you rather worship in a church or outdoors in nature?

My answer: Outdoors, somewhere quiet.

-Would you prefer a Holy book or written rules that you could refer to?

My answer: Yes. Both.

 Cheesy
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Winter Lavender
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« Reply #3: April 24, 2011, 11:29:09 pm »

I shall answer one question at a time.  Cool

-How would you describe your idea of god/deity/the divine?  Is there one god? Are there many deities?  Is the divine simply a force that surrounds you? Do you believe in spirits?

My answer: There are many Gods, though I do not believe in them all. I tend to believe in gods that I've experienced, or at least accept the possibility they are real. Yes, I believe in spirits, and ghosts. I've actually seen ghosts.

-Do you desire fellowship and/or community?  If so, then a solitary path might not be the perfect fit for you.

My answer: Yes. A solitary path wouldn't work, I hate getting lonely and/or being alone in my beliefs.

-Do you believe in or enjoy working with energy/magic? 

My answer: I work with energy all the time. Mostly with chakras and crystals.

-Do you like to put an emphasis on rituals?

My answer: I don't do rituals anymore.

-Would you rather worship in a church or outdoors in nature?

My answer: Outdoors, somewhere quiet.

-Would you prefer a Holy book or written rules that you could refer to?

My answer: Yes. Both.

 Cheesy

Sounds like a pagan path would suit you, as long as you could find community.  Are there any deities or spirits that you're honoring now?
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I'm here to grow, to learn, and to live an organic life that will forever shimmer and dance through the Universe.


"Embracing the ancient
while trees gently whisper
those intimate
longed-for words
The greet wheel
is still revolving
with untouchable sovereignty
so invulnerable." ~Eluveitie
outlaw393
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« Reply #4: April 25, 2011, 12:16:58 am »

Sounds like a pagan path would suit you, as long as you could find community.  Are there any deities or spirits that you're honoring now?

No. I am not currently honoring any Pagan gods. Though I do recognize the existence of some, and I am 100% certain these exist.
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Winter Lavender
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« Reply #5: April 25, 2011, 11:10:50 am »

No. I am not currently honoring any Pagan gods. Though I do recognize the existence of some, and I am 100% certain these exist.

I'm sort of lost as to how to help you right now. There's many things you could do. You could either return to an old path or find a new path that you think would resonate with you the best right now.  Or, you can take a break from religion for a while.  Some of us do that for a year or so, untill we find what we were -really- looking for all along.  Or, if you're happy where you are right now you can totally stay there.  You have so many options, and all of them are personal.  Well, stick around the Cauldron and I hope we can answers your questions as they come up.  Or if you need any sort of specific help or answers feel free to PM me, okay?  I don't know everything there is to know but I will do my best and try to help anybody who asks for it. 

Well, that's all I have to say for now.  But, once again, if you need help, we're here.
Good luck!

~Lavender
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I'm here to grow, to learn, and to live an organic life that will forever shimmer and dance through the Universe.


"Embracing the ancient
while trees gently whisper
those intimate
longed-for words
The greet wheel
is still revolving
with untouchable sovereignty
so invulnerable." ~Eluveitie
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« Reply #6: April 25, 2011, 11:19:17 am »



Have you looked into ADF druidry? http://www.adf.org/core/
They honor gods from multiple different European pantheons, so you could work with the Norse gods, the Hellenic gods, or many others.

They have groves and study groups that do rituals (often outside in the woods) or just learn together.

They have a set course of study including reading lists and practices.

They have a set of specific virtues that each member is asked to consider and adapt.
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outlaw393
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« Reply #7: April 25, 2011, 01:11:23 pm »

Have you looked into ADF druidry? http://www.adf.org/core/
They honor gods from multiple different European pantheons, so you could work with the Norse gods, the Hellenic gods, or many others.

Nope, never heard of them. I will check out their website though. Thanks.
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outlaw393
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« Reply #8: April 25, 2011, 01:28:51 pm »

One more thing too - I'm not big with online groups either. Especially those that I have to train through classes to join...though I can understand why. Online groups tend to be online only, and I want a group I can meet with.

Well. Guess I'm back at square one.

I'm hoping to leave Christianity soon, hopefully after my church trip the first week of may.
Here's a few of the contradictions I have with the church.

They believe...

1. Homosexuality is a sin, and likewise is an abomination.
I am bisexual, so this is sort of a problem with me. The church is like, yeah, you can be LGBT as long as you don't "act" on those feelings and desires. Umm, so they're basically asking me to be someone I'm not.

2. The entire Bible is literal, the written word of God.
I don't believe in creationism, and I certainly don't believe the Bible is literal. It's questionable to me if the book has any truth in it at all.

3. There are many things "not of god" - horoscopes, numerology, tarot, crystals, other intermediary things.
Basically anything that's not christian is "of the devil". All of the things listed I use and/or believe in.

4. The Lord will bless ladies who grow out their hair.
They base this belief off of some quote from Paul in Acts somewhere. They refer to this as one of their "holiness doctrines". Obviously I don't follow or believe in this either, I am the only lady who has short hair.

5. You must be "baptized in the holy spirit" to be saved.
They believe that the holy spirit will come down and fill a believer, with the initial evidence of speaking in tongues.
I am not really sure I believe this, though I have experienced it.

6. Jesus Christ was dead, buried, and on the third day rose again....
Honestly, is there REAL proof that Jesus Christ even existed? Much less was crucified and resurrected? Didn't think so.

7. There is a literal heaven and hell.
I think there may be a heaven, but not a hell.

8. There is only one true, living God.
Obviously I'm a polytheist, so I can't agree with this either.

Anyways, this is about all I can think of. I have no doubt there are more.
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outlaw393
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« Reply #9: April 30, 2011, 06:45:05 pm »

I took this quiz, which shows I still have a tendency toward Asatru, though I wonder what Zoroastrian is, never heard of it.

I haven't heard from Odin in a while, and likewise I tend to think they have forsaken me...

What kind of Pagan are you

Norse Pagan (Asatru)           80%
Zoroastrian Pagan           55%
Shamanic Pagan                   45%
Catholic (Pagan?)                   40%
Greek Pagan                        35%
Ecclectic Pagan                   25%
Roman Pagan                   20%
Celtic Pagan                   15%
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« Reply #10: May 01, 2011, 11:22:29 am »

I took this quiz, which shows I still have a tendency toward Asatru, though I wonder what Zoroastrian is, never heard of it.

Speaking of quizes, have you ever taken Beliefnet's Belief-o-matic quiz. It can sometimes lead you in the right direction or at least give you an idea where you are heading.

Here is the link: http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Quizzes/BeliefOMatic.aspx
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outlaw393
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« Reply #11: May 01, 2011, 02:54:37 pm »

Speaking of quizes, have you ever taken Beliefnet's Belief-o-matic quiz. It can sometimes lead you in the right direction or at least give you an idea where you are heading.

Here is the link: http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Quizzes/BeliefOMatic.aspx

Yes I have. Many times. And I get "Neo Pagan" every time I take it. Which isn't helpful since there are hundreds of options within "Neo Pagan"
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outlaw393
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« Reply #12: May 01, 2011, 03:11:03 pm »

The last time I took the quiz, I got this...And I took out what I am positive I'm not.
The bolded one is the one I'm involved with right now.

1.   Neo-Pagan (100%)
2.   Unitarian Universalism (91%)
3.   New Age (79%)
4.   Reform Judaism (75%)
5.   Mahayana Buddhism (71%)
6.   Theravada Buddhism (70%)
7.   Secular Humanism (60%)
8.   Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (58%)
9.   Orthodox Judaism (50%)
10.   Atheist (39%)
11.   Taoism (38%)
12.   Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (24%)
13.   Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (20%)
14.   Roman Catholic (18%)

I'm pretty sure I've studied every religion listed here.
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outlaw393
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« Reply #13: May 09, 2011, 01:45:15 am »

This is an extension to my introduction thread. I figured it would be easier to make another thread than to fill up my introduction thread with more discussion. Anyways, in that thread I made a list of religions I sampled and otherwise studied in depth:

1. Christianity
  - Lutheran
  - Pentecostal
  - Catholicism
  - Mormonism

2. Islam

Right now I am involved with Pentecostal Christianity - the tongues speaking, faith healing, bible literalist Christians. This is my third year now that I've been involved with this church. I can feel the presence of god there. I don't agree with their beliefs 100%. Now, the catch is, if I don't think too much, I can stay here. Problem is, I can think for myself and I have issues with the buffet-style advice I've gotten from other Christians who take what they agree with and ignore what they don't agree with. I've noticed older people - my parents for example - handle their doubts this way. Ignore them. Well, sorry, I'm from a younger generation and this is unacceptable for me.


First, the trip...

Recently I returned from a trip to a city about 3 hours away for a church ladies retreat. Was interesting. But it always makes me think two things:

1) They (all the other 1,000+ ladies there) are too emotional, and I'm not emotional enough;
2) I don't fit in at all, and I am not like them.

They dress different than me (though I do dress in a skirt and blouse when I attend church events...I don't normally dress this way and for the most part don't enjoy it). They are much more emotional (I am very stoic, it is hard for me to completely let go of the iron grip I have over my emotions 24/7).

Though I generally give others in the church the impression that I believe 100% in all their doctrines and beliefs, and I can really encourage others with my experiences with Christ (Dreams, answered prayers, etc), the truth of the matter is I don't believe 100% in their doctrines and beliefs, and most of all I am bored with Christianity. REALLY bored. And I'm not sure why.

In the meantime I continue to study Catholicism again. Though I doubt this will solve any problems. If anything it will cause more...

Second, the state of Asatru in my life...

I think the gods exist one way or another, though I am not sure of the nature of their existence. Also I have not experienced them (with exception to Odin and Loki). I am convinced that they don't care about me (Odin is supposedly my Patron, but I don't think he could care less about me).

I am disappointed that I can no longer follow the gods. I want to, sometimes I wish I could leave Christianity behind (though I know I still have faith in it, the boredom and the feeling I don't fit in make me want to leave) and go out of my way to experience the gods of Asatru again.

I want to experience Odin again. But since he doesn't care, he isn't around. I took his mark and he's all but gone.

Sigh.  Huh
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« Reply #14: May 09, 2011, 01:56:39 am »


I think the gods exist one way or another, though I am not sure of the nature of their existence. Also I have not experienced them (with exception to Odin and Loki). I am convinced that they don't care about me (Odin is supposedly my Patron, but I don't think he could care less about me).

I am disappointed that I can no longer follow the gods. I want to, sometimes I wish I could leave Christianity behind (though I know I still have faith in it, the boredom and the feeling I don't fit in make me want to leave) and go out of my way to experience the gods of Asatru again.

I want to experience Odin again. But since he doesn't care, he isn't around. I took his mark and he's all but gone.

Sigh.  Huh

I got the feeling at one point that Loki didn't really care about me. It was like he just vanished from my life for several months. It was a pretty lonely feeling for me since he'd been with me for so long. I was thinking he abandoned me and started looking into other gods. The other Norse gods weren't talking to me either, but they usually don't anyway. I looked into other pantheons and stuff and didn't really feel right. But Loki eventually came back. I really don't know if there was anything I did or if he was busy or maybe he just wanted me to miss him. Maybe Odin's doing something similar?
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