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Author Topic: Flashes - Super Short Visions - Long Post  (Read 4318 times)
annieroonie
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« Topic Start: May 07, 2011, 01:24:06 am »

I started my study of what I called neo-pagan (but now think I may use the term recon?) last fall. Though I have been using tarot for 20 plus years and read the I Ching more as a story book than for divination, I had little or no experience with other forms of divination. Since I have tried scrying, tea leave reading and Runes. My over riding goal has been of experimentation (except with tarot where I seek guidance and ideas). Trying to see what I can see basically. Runes, like tarot, are comforting to me. I can see different meanings and apply them after observation. With scrying I get a major headache in the front of my head and at the base as well as severe eye strain. (I think it must not be for me as it is also energy draining - read some interesting advice here about how to lessen this effect - sweet.) Tea leaves: I need so much more practice before I can even conceive of what I am seeing there.

With all of these, whatever, if anything, I think I am seeing, I can record and later revisit after observation and see how "on" I was. The process is not frightening and other than the pain with scrying, very systematic and meditative. Calming and even fun.

But then in early January in the middle of a little ritual I had a flash of a man I did not know when I closed my eyes. It took me aback. I was quite frightened at first because it did not feel systematic. Opened my eyes and it was still there for a second like and overlay on the room around me. Touched my eyes to make sure they were open. My logical bent tells me that it had to come from me in some way. Some dip into the subcon or collective. But I did not try for it. No prior work method. No process.  I thought maybe all the time I had spent in the other areas could've jostled something or paved the way for something like a flash vision and since no more happened, I sketched it out and forgot about it. A fluke.

In March I had a short term relationship. After that ended in April I was going through notes and came across the sketch. It had a resemblance to the guy I had been dating. So of course I thought the flash had some sort of connection to divination whether I had a process for it or not. Still, I'm not sure at all that it was divination or that I wanted it to be because at least that makes a little bit of sense to me.

The whole made me curious about if I could control it and use it and queasy about if I could not.

Since the first(over 4 months ago), I have had two more flashes. Last week I had a flash of tan pea gravel coming toward me or maybe me at it. Like falling to the ground and seeing the ground but it was coming at me in the flash. I was just as taken aback as the first time. It simply did not feel like it is coming from me. Then last night it was a bike path I travel in a flash. Not memory of a ride, but a flash.  I took notes about why it felt different from daydream, dream or memory:

Base back of head tingling to numb at the top and much pressure around the sinuses. A zero gravity stomach and chest feeling. Air time on a roller coaster produces a similar effect. Awake. And finally, they have out of context content (or no current context for content except for the trail that I saw as I use it weekly- still I don't use it in the way that I saw it. Close to the ground as if I were hovering over it facing it.)

I am more curious to know what the heck it is and more queasy wondering if this is going to happen again. I am not a television character. I do not think I could handle out of the blue flashes as gracefully they do. If this happened daily, it would be very disturbing even if it is something as dull as pea gravel.

My questions: Anybody have an idea about what this could be? Any suggestions for reading material? Suggestions in general?

Other: I have a Chiari Malformation and thought the physical feelings might be associated with that, and they could be, but the content of the flashes has no basis there no matter how I might stretch the possibilities of what the guttering of spinal fluid to my brain might do. Also, the physical feelings come and go with the flashes. The Chiari symptoms usually last longer and come after exercise or odd positioning which was not a factor for the flashes. (Chiari Malformation is the medula extending beyond he lower skull and pressing against the spinal column. All sorts of side effects can happen and more than are listed on the common net sites. The spectral dots I see sometimes can be attributed to it. Used to think that was magic but just like sleep paralysis explained away the old hag syndrome, the shining mists and dots became more mundane too. About 1 in a 1000 people have the condition most without ever knowing according to the neurosurgeon I consulted.) If you are familiar with it, you might understand why I would rule the condition out as a cause/source.

I'd appreciate any thoughts, advice or leads. It may never happen again, but to me it is worth investigating. Like when someone throws something at you, they may never throw it again, but if possible you want to find out where it came from. I blanking on what to even research with this and feeling kind of dumb about that.

Sorry for the length too, not sure what details are important. I've read some great down to earth practical input on this board, so it feels safe to ask for input here.

Thank you in advance for any input and you totally deserve some props from me if you were able to read this far. I'd bake you cookies if I could.


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« Reply #1: May 07, 2011, 07:44:58 am »

My questions: Anybody have an idea about what this could be? Any suggestions for reading material? Suggestions in general?

It sounds strikingly similar to a problem I have whenever I read for people when I'm too tired or when my shields are down.  They used be much more frequent and would cause migraines and were one of the reasons I started studying the cards in the first place - to give them a path to follow so they would stop just popping up whenever they felt like.  The cards are not so much a focus or a lens for me as they are a buffer.  They control when and how I get flashes.

My mother was an unassisted psychic.  She would get flashes and almost always speak them as soon as they happened.  She was good, and you could provoke them in her with the right question and tone.  My grandmother brought the police to her when my cousin was kidnapped but left them outside.  She asked a casual question (have you thought about X recently), then a meaningful one (where is she now), then took the police to the location and rescued my cousin.  'Rescued' is the right word - she was tied up in a basement.  The reason grandma didn't bring the police inside with her is because of the pressure it would have put on mom.  Her flashes didn't usually cause her physical problems but if she strained for one they would.

Mine caused migraines, and somewhere in my mind I think I connect them to my heart problems too.  I learned to read cards and to force the flashes (using shields and will power) to only come through them, or at worst only occur when they were out.  I don't read too much professionally any more, and no more parties because I can't maintain my shields and will get flashes afterwords.  This happened a few years ago during an experiment at TC that had me doing a lot of readings at once and basically shredded some shields that I didn't know how to rebuild.  I learned how here, and got help from the people who originally helped me too (yay, uni reunion Cheesy )

They are not dangerous and can be very useful.  My habit is to speak them as soon as they happen.  If they are not relevant to me they might be to the person I'm reading for.  I've stopped feeling like an idiot about it.  If they do become a problem for you I would advise you to concentrate on one of your forms of divination and try to train your mind to only produce them at that time.  I know it's not easy - it takes a lot of discipline and sometimes outside help, but if you tame them you will find them far more useful and will get better/faster at interpreting them.

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« Reply #2: May 07, 2011, 04:46:28 pm »

My questions: Anybody have an idea about what this could be? Any suggestions for reading material? Suggestions in general?

While it's possible it could be related to a physical condition (and if you have any concerns there, it'd be good to talk to the appropriate medical professional), what you describe is a reasonably common type of (more or less) low-key psychic experience.

The good news about that is that there are a variety of approaches that might help you either encourage it (if you wished) or limit it (if you wish.) Before I get into some options, let me describe what happens for me.

I get periodic flashes of what I usually refer to as deja fait (as opposed to deja vue). As you may know, deja vu means "already seen" in French: fait is the word for 'do', so it's more like "I've already done that" for me - it's often triggered by some kind of specific but not incredibly common physical movement. (Turning and looking over my shoulder at something/someone, stepping out of a car in a place I don't visit very often, a particular pattern of editing text and images on screen, reaching a certain point in a knitting pattern, etc.)

They're sometimes accompanied by a sort of tingling of my scalp (sort of like a pins and needles sensation when you've let your foot go to sleep) or a sense of a low humming sound (like a motor running a distance away), but more often than not, there's no particular physical sensation for me.

They're often - as you might guess by that example, pretty down to earth everyday sort of things. (I have had those moments in ritual settings, but more commonly in really high-intensity ones like initiations, rather than regular working rituals, as it were, but we're talking about maybe 5 times total in ritual vs. dozens, if not hundreds of times, in other settings.)

For me, they don't happen terribly often - I sometimes go weeks or months without a flash of them - but when they happen, I actually find them comforting. By tracking them over time, I've come to the conclusion that it's a sign of me going down a path that has a particular kind of reward/benefit/growth/opportunity at the end (so, when I stop getting them for a while, I start wondering what I'm missing and not doing that I could be doing differently!)

That said, I don't rely on them absolutely by themselves: I'd never make a decision based solely on whether I got that flash of "Haven't I done this?". Instead, I use them much like I use other forms of divination, as a signpost of something to explore in more depth and with more awareness.

Given all that:
- If you're open to encouraging them, Marilyn has a great point with her comments about creating times in your life when they're welcome, and encouraging them to happen there.

Meditation, divination work, etc. are good ways to do that. You may find that if you create those spaces in your life on an ongoing basis, they naturally shift to those times. One thing that is helpful is if you keep some kind of consistent schedule about it, as much as you can - for example, if they're welcome during a morning practice, or while you're having a shower, or whatever, then try to be open and receptive regularly at those times.

- Her advice about speaking them (or I'd add, writing them down/noting them somehow) is also great.

Keeping track can both improve control, and they allow you to see if there's any kind of persistent pattern. For example, some students I've worked with had psychic skills develop that were pretty consistent in terms of time frame (so, they'd get a flash of something, and it would pretty reliably be relevant to something that was a week away, or a month away, or whatever.) It will also give you an idea of how much of the larger context you're getting (some people get a lot, some people get a flash of someone or something that's only lightly involved in a situation.)

Even the lighter/less connected flashes can help sometimes. I've started using my own to be aware that I might want to plan more flexibility into my schedule for a couple of weeks, for example, because I'm clearly on a path where there might be more rapid changes or specific things coming up, even if I don't have an idea of the details (which I don't, generally, because my flashes are "Hey, haven't I already done this?" not "brand new information")

- If you do decide you want to block them, there are some possible solutions, but you should be aware that they'll quite possibly limit how open you might be to some approaches to divination, and maybe to ritual work and interaction with deities in various kinds. (Because, basically, anything solid enough to shield and divert energy that's coming from within your own psyche is going to be likely to block things outside that space.) However, learning how to shield/divert the flashes at times they'd be inconvenient (say, during your workday) is more flexible.
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« Reply #3: May 07, 2011, 05:50:49 pm »

It sounds strikingly similar to a problem I have whenever I read for people when I'm too tired or when my shields are down.  They used be much more frequent and would cause migraines and were one of the reasons I started studying the cards in the first place - to give them a path to follow so they would stop just popping up whenever they felt like.  The cards are not so much a focus or a lens for me as they are a buffer.  They control when and how I get flashes.

Mine caused migraines, and somewhere in my mind I think I connect them to my heart problems too.  I learned to read cards and to force the flashes (using shields and will power) to only come through them, or at worst only occur when they were out.  I don't read too much professionally any more, and no more parties because I can't maintain my shields and will get flashes afterwords. 

They are not dangerous and can be very useful.  My habit is to speak them as soon as they happen.  If they are not relevant to me they might be to the person I'm reading for.  I've stopped feeling like an idiot about it.  If they do become a problem for you I would advise you to concentrate on one of your forms of divination and try to train your mind to only produce them at that time.  I know it's not easy - it takes a lot of discipline and sometimes outside help, but if you tame them you will find them far more useful and will get better/faster at interpreting them.

Absent

Oh thank you so much. Your experience made me feel so much better! Less wary and more hopeful.

The shields down thing seems to fit perfectly for me too. I was tired all times and not thinking of shields at all, so none were up on my part.

That you found a way to direct them is encouraging. I do not get migraines, but see how debilitating they can be for others, I am glad you are able to avoid that pain sometimes.

And that they came after heavy reading also strikes a major chord for me. These 3 are new to me. But lighter ones without physical symptoms (that I did not connect until reading your response) have happened after readings for others.  I've shaken them off assuming they were residual energies from the person. It was enough to quell the cognitive dissonance. It makes sense that the egoist in me assigned them a whole different category because they came to me alone, but yeah, they could be the same things to a different degree. Wow! That makes me far less anxious.

Your mention of your intuition that it might be related to your heart problems made me think of an old radio science program. Sorry that I cannot link to it. I don't remember much but some content. It was about testing thoughts and electrical energy. I believe the impetus for the study was the same as the many to prove or disprove the effectiveness of prayer/meditation. I think they were on the disprove. Anyway, they did find that thoughts directed had some electrical significance but not in the way specified in the directed thoughts and even if the intended receiver did not know about the directed thoughts. Sorry if that sounds confusing. It just made me think that these flashes might have electrical significance to them and that might effect the heart or whatever organ is open to the electrical waves.  In any event, it is a possible concern and developing shields now takes on a greater importance to me. Thank you for that and totally sending good thoughts your way because, dayum, that is a worry I do not envy.

Your mother's experience sounds exceptional. The circumstances being as downright terrifying as they were... well, I am very glad it resolved and that her insights helped. That she did not feel forced into the flash is tribute to those who love her enough to understand how she worked. That's real compassion. I cannot imagine what forcing such a thing would produce as far as pain goes. (Sorry that I deleted that portion in the reply/quote text. Did not mean to. Don't know to get it back!)

I am going to take your advice and see if I cannot make myself more open to them with the cards. I'm most comfortable with them. Though, your migraines to a lesser degree might be similar to the pain I get from scrying, so I may attempt that more as well. I've found a new use for the voice recorder now at any rate!

Thank you very much for your time and thoughts. I type this sighing relief. I now have something to work on instead of something to worry about. Much more productive! Yes!
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« Reply #4: May 07, 2011, 05:56:12 pm »


I forgot to add something that is unrelated. Your signature with the lines from Anthem. Such a  coincidence. Yesterday at work I quoted those exact lines to a girl who was crying because she'd been caught in some bad behaviors and did not want to be thought of as a bad girl. I told her these lines helped me sleep when I felt like she did. It is a kind sort of permission to stop beating yourself up and move on. Felt a tingle. She calmed down and asked my name so I knew she had been listening closely.

I swear those lyrics are a spell.
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« Reply #5: May 07, 2011, 06:39:39 pm »


"low-key psychic experience" Excellent phrasing. I like low-key!

Your pins and needles, sleeping foot description is the same description the bone guy and the brain guy used when asking me about Chiari malformation. And the head twisting too. Have you ever had an MRI? I'm starting to think the condition may be conducive rather than causative or not. And it is kind of common. Everything the brain does relies upon the exchange of spinal fluid to and from it. Pressure on the corridor has been described to me like a straw with a hole in it. Sometimes you get a lot of juice but sometimes nada. I'm due for another MRI soon. Going to ask about it if the doc is nice. I wonder if it is related to the sporadic nature of the flashes.

Deja fait. That is awesome. Hope you do not mind if I use it. It's uncannily spot on. I went looking for deck repair instructions this morning. It's been sagging and I've been delinquent in addressing it. Guess what I have to buy to fix it? Pea gravel.

I nodded agreement with the way you use divination to promote in more awareness and in depth exploration. I think this may be the only place where I've heard/read someone say that in a purposive way. So many people want the "yes/no" oracle. I am open to these and more so understanding a bit of how you yourself use them.

I am going to take your advice and add this to using the cards. Keeping track and setting specific and consistent time aside for them. I can see how useful it could be and how much it could assuage my impatience when things do not go according to plan. That is far more useful than scary. Very practical and seems worth the discipline to do it.

I've been studying and trying things or focusing in areas on whims/fancies. I'm not totally undisciplined, but part of my personal studies has been a self promise to enjoy what I am studying. As if I can only enjoy instant gratification. I guess the resistance to discipline is a bit of immaturity I really need to get over if I want to make any productive use of these flashes, or really any of what I have learned and might learn for that matter. I'm already an organization nut, might as well embrace it.

Thank you. I do believe I learned something from you. From you both. I appreciate that very much.

You know, the point of being purposive, consistent and careful has really struck home today. On a the fancy to collect all the wildflowers, plants and herbs around me without doing enough research has me stuck with a little Trillium rash. I'm getting the message. I can use things, but I need to be more disciplined about the whole process or I might end up needlessly frightened, itchy and stepping down onto a deck that has completely sunk.

You have my humbled thanks, again.






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« Reply #6: May 07, 2011, 07:06:03 pm »

I swear those lyrics are a spell.

And a ritual.  Many of his works are.  He has been my favourite poet since I first encountered him in Can Lit way back in high school.

I even like his horrible voice, and it's one of the few you can actually say improved with age. Cheesy

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« Reply #7: May 07, 2011, 10:04:47 pm »

Your pins and needles, sleeping foot description is the same description the bone guy and the brain guy used when asking me about Chiari malformation. And the head twisting too. Have you ever had an MRI?

Nope - never had an MRI, have had a range of x-rays (due to a possible concussion at one point, and persistent "Is that scoliosis, no really, it isn't, right then" checks through childhood.)

I do tend to think that bodies are wonderful and mysterious things: like a lot of people, I tend to hold a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders (though much less than I used to), and anything that constricts one kind of movement tends to constrict others (that's physics, as much as anything.) so it's not surprising that there might be some symptom similarities. And I do believe that there are connections between the physical body and the energetic body that are complex, nifty, but sometimes harder than others to pin down.

That said, part of my ritual/magical training *and* part of the work I've been doing a lot this year (Feldenkrais, which is a body modality), and various other experiences (serious horseback riding and swimming as a teenager, migraines as a teenager and adult) have given me a pretty good sense of body awareness when odd things happen: my experience is that the tingling and other sensations don't have much to do with anything happening directly with my physical body

(For example, if it were at least partly a physical trigger, I'd expect to see it happening *sometime* when I was deliberately relaxing/moving/adjusting the relative positions of my head, neck, shoulders, etc. And in fact, that's not the case: it's happened when I'm relatively stressed, quite relaxed, sitting up with no back support, sitting up but learning back into something, lying down, leaning over. Instead, one of the triggers has been a pretty clear kind of energetic work: I can trigger it on demand sometimes, if I really want, but it also happens in other settings (major ritual moments, certain pieces of music if I'm in a compatible mood and listening intently, etc.) That's in line with my magical and ritual training, so it never surprised me - just made me more aware when it happened at other times (like those deja fait flashes.)

That said, I think that stuff that might have a physical cause is definitely worth checking out - more information helps us make more informed decisions, after all. But mostly, I am not inclined to worry too much about something that isn't causing ongoing symptoms or particularly distress.)

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Deja fait. That is awesome. Hope you do not mind if I use it.

Go ahead! (It's a perfectly reasonable French construction, after all.)

Quote
I think this may be the only place where I've heard/read someone say that in a purposive way. So many people want the "yes/no" oracle. I am open to these and more so understanding a bit of how you yourself use them.

Honestly, there are other people out there who use it that way! It's not unique to TC. You might want to check out the Aeclectic Tarot forums (http://aeclectic.net) - there's tons of great discussion there. And there are a number of authors whose books about Tarot go into personal development (Christine Jette, some of Mary K Greer, Rachel Pollack, and Amber K's work on Tarot also focus on that kind of area - and those are just the ones I've read enough to think of right away.)
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« Reply #8: May 08, 2011, 12:32:22 am »

And a ritual.  Many of his works are.  He has been my favourite poet since I first encountered him in Can Lit way back in high school.

I even like his horrible voice, and it's one of the few you can actually say improved with age. Cheesy
Totally off-topic bit of trivia:  at one time, my brother in Toronto sublet an apartment from Suzanne.  Yeah, that Suzanne.  As I recall, she didn't feed him tea and oranges, but I believe he looked after her cats.

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« Reply #9: May 08, 2011, 01:18:24 am »

Totally off-topic bit of trivia:  at one time, my brother in Toronto sublet an apartment from Suzanne.  Yeah, that Suzanne.  As I recall, she didn't feed him tea and oranges, but I believe he looked after her cats.

Sunflower

That's really cool.  It makes me wonder how many of his characters are based on real people and if they know who they are.

(I am resisting asking if she trusted your brother with her cats because he touched her perfect body with his mind Cheesy )

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« Reply #10: May 11, 2011, 09:05:24 pm »

I can trigger it on demand sometimes, if I really want, but it also happens in other settings (major ritual moments, certain pieces of music if I'm in a compatible mood and listening intently, etc.) That's in line with my magical and ritual training, so it never surprised me - just made me more aware when it happened at other times (like those deja fait flashes.)

I certainly cannot trigger the Chiari symptoms so it doesn't sound like a different thing. That little nugget does what it wants. Sometimes I can hear a pin drop down a corridor and sometimes I cannot hear the person in front of me.  Eh. Life is an adventure!

Sorry to speculate. I have not found another knowingly with it yet, so I geek out asking around sometimes.


Honestly, there are other people out there who use it that way! It's not unique to TC. You might want to check out the Aeclectic Tarot forums (http://aeclectic.net) - there's tons of great discussion there. And there are a number of authors whose books about Tarot go into personal development (Christine Jette, some of Mary K Greer, Rachel Pollack, and Amber K's work on Tarot also focus on that kind of area - and those are just the ones I've read enough to think of right away.)


Oooh! That sounds like a welcome and pleasurable time sink for me. Awesome! Thank you!

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