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Author Topic: DivEx-Juniperberry  (Read 3681 times)
Juniperberry
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« Topic Start: May 17, 2011, 01:21:10 am »

I'm just going to lay it all out there...

My best friend committed suicide eight years ago but for some reason it's hitting me really hard this year. I dreamt of him leaving the night he died; saw him carried down in a parade on a golden road in a golden city and when he looked at me I knew it was goodbye. I (obviously) learned that he died that same night. I haven't dreamt of him since until the other night. He didn't speak but I knew he wanted me to leave in a car with him and I told him no and then cried in his arms for several minutes. There was no dream quality to this; it was outside my actual house, there was color, and the sun was out. It could have been real. I've had this crazy feeling since his death has started to affected me so much lately that there's some purpose to it. Something is building or it's all leading to somewhere. I suppose one reason it's hitting me harder is because his mom sent me some of his belongings and it brought it all up...but I don't feel like the dust is going to settle. I feel like the storm is rising..you know? Anyway, I've also been having crazy synchronocity lately. For a week it felt like every person I spoke to, every movie I watched etc, related to a certain thing between me and this person. It was odd. Even odder, I've had a few friends (not connected to one another in any way) call me because I had been on their minds so strongly. I haven't acted differently to anyone so there's no reason for it.

Now for the 'omg she's gone nuts part': I had a bird fly into my house which is a common symbol for a coming death. A family portrait fell from the wall on his birthday for no reason (in the same room where I left out his favorite meal), and a picture falling from the wall is also a sign of death. A dream of the dead coming to take you away is a sign of death. The people with the urge to call me and check-in, that's creepy. I think I also dreamt of my dsir and fetch, which in heathenry means death is approaching.

Anyway *sigh* ...I need a reading. An honest one. WTH is going on?

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darashand
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« Reply #1: May 17, 2011, 01:47:06 am »

Something is building or it's all leading to somewhere. I suppose one reason it's hitting me harder is because his mom sent me some of his belongings and it brought it all up...but I don't feel like the dust is going to settle.

First, (((hugs)))

Second, I'll get on your reading tomorrow.  Would you prefer runes or tarot?
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The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." -Jack Kerouac
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« Reply #2: May 17, 2011, 01:51:47 am »

First, (((hugs)))

Second, I'll get on your reading tomorrow.  Would you prefer runes or tarot?



Thanks. Smiley Not sure...I feel like I should prefer the runes since I'm heathen but I have no knowledge of them while I do have experience with the tarot. You pick? Maybe runes, since you know me as heathen and it might givea more accurate read/connection. Really, I don't care.  Smiley
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darashand
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« Reply #3: May 17, 2011, 01:53:27 am »


Thanks. Smiley Not sure...I feel like I should prefer the runes since I'm heathen but I have no knowledge of them while I do have experience with the tarot. You pick? Maybe runes, since you know me as heathen and it might givea more accurate read/connection. Really, I don't care.  Smiley

Honestly, I'm better at Tarot, but I thought it would be nice to give you a choice. Smiley
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The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." -Jack Kerouac
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« Reply #4: May 17, 2011, 03:31:33 pm »

Honestly, I'm better at Tarot, but I thought it would be nice to give you a choice. Smiley

Tarot is good, then.

If anyone else is more comfortable with runes I would also be interested in seeing a reading from that perspective.

Thanks again. Smiley
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darashand
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« Reply #5: May 18, 2011, 03:24:01 pm »

Tarot is good, then.

If anyone else is more comfortable with runes I would also be interested in seeing a reading from that perspective.

Thanks again. Smiley

Well, how about Rune Cards as a nice compromise?  I totally forgot I had them until I opened my desk drawer...

Anyway, I pulled three rune cards for your reading.  These explanations I am giving you are my own opinion within the context of your question and the rune poems (also meanings given in my sources).  You may take them or leave them, but I do hope they help.

Past: Torch
Present: Tiw
Future: Birch

Torch: Leadership and responsibility.  Piety given to the Mighty Ones as an act of remembering and honor. Ritual to honor someone who has passed.

Tiw: Oaths or promises; laws.  Tokens.  (Interesting here, because your friend's mother brought you some of his belongings)

Seems to me like your friend would like you to do something in his honor.  Did you speak with him on something you would like to do in your life that you have not yet done, or perhaps there is something he would like you to do for him?  Did he ever mention something he would like done for him in the event of his passing?  Have you made an promise that you have not yet fulfilled?

Birch: Birthing something of yourself. Fertility of the self, giving yourself to yourself in order to achieve wisdom or knowledge.  Bringing something to fruition by your own power, without seeding. Renewal and achievement.

Each of these runes have "sky" in common.  Torch exhales smoke into the Sky, Tyr is a sky God, and Birch touches the sky with a crown of leaves.  It is obvious to see the connection of your friend being "in the sky," but what else is there? 

Remember that symbols of death do not literally mean death always.  In fact, death is seen as a transformation, a closing of one period to the next.   

My honest opinion is that your friend might want you to remember him in someway or do something in his honor.  My feeling is that you already know what it is, but you may be a little apprehensive about it? 

I also have a feeling that your mind might be making things a bit stronger for you then what they actually are--please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make light of your experience, but sometimes the thing we don't want to see is the very thing we constantly see.  It's simply that our minds are focused on it and cannot get away from thinking on it.

So, all of that said, you may want to honor your friend by doing some type of remembrance ritual, make an offering for him, etc.  Or even light a candle and talk to him.  It seems like he wants to tell you something that you need to hear...maybe to push you forward in your life. 

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The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." -Jack Kerouac
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« Reply #6: May 18, 2011, 03:54:24 pm »

My honest opinion is that your friend might want you to remember him in someway or do something in his honor.  My feeling is that you already know what it is, but you may be a little apprehensive about it? 

So, all of that said, you may want to honor your friend by doing some type of remembrance ritual, make an offering for him, etc.  Or even light a candle and talk to him.  It seems like he wants to tell you something that you need to hear...maybe to push you forward in your life. 



Thanks. Smiley

I haven't been to visit his grave. The thought of it makes me want to throw up and I think my mind will completely snap if I physically see it. I'm not exaggerating. I literally get nauseaus and I literally don't think I could mentally handle it.


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darashand
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« Reply #7: May 18, 2011, 04:40:09 pm »

Thanks. Smiley

I haven't been to visit his grave. The thought of it makes me want to throw up and I think my mind will completely snap if I physically see it. I'm not exaggerating. I literally get nauseaus and I literally don't think I could mentally handle it.

That's understandable.  You can only go when you're ready. 
(((Juniperberry)))
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The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." -Jack Kerouac

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