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Author Topic: NEEDED: Solitary ritual for mourning/recognizing death  (Read 12384 times)
Zoness
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« Topic Start: May 18, 2011, 05:00:32 pm »

Hello everyone,

A kid went to high school with (only 2 years ago but it feels like ages now) passed away this weekend and his visitation is today. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for a personal, and relatively simple rite for mourning his death, sort of like a "service" I guess you could say, but it is solitary. It doesn't matter the specific tradition since my beliefs are kind of unsure at the moment. I would best describe myself as Wiccan but any suggestions do not have to pertain to that specifically. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2011, 05:05:43 pm by RandallS, Reason: Subject Changed » Logged

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Aisling
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« Reply #1: May 19, 2011, 08:56:49 pm »

Hello everyone,

A kid went to high school with (only 2 years ago but it feels like ages now) passed away this weekend and his visitation is today. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for a personal, and relatively simple rite for mourning his death, sort of like a "service" I guess you could say, but it is solitary. It doesn't matter the specific tradition since my beliefs are kind of unsure at the moment. I would best describe myself as Wiccan but any suggestions do not have to pertain to that specifically. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.

Sorry for your loss, Zoness.

The simplest mourning ritual that I do is to place a picture of the person on my altar, light a white candle, spend a little time thinking about the person's life, and end with a very short blessing such as "May your journey be safe and your destination be joyful." 
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Sperran
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« Reply #2: May 19, 2011, 10:18:29 pm »

Hello everyone,

A kid went to high school with (only 2 years ago but it feels like ages now) passed away this weekend and his visitation is today. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for a personal, and relatively simple rite for mourning his death, sort of like a "service" I guess you could say, but it is solitary. It doesn't matter the specific tradition since my beliefs are kind of unsure at the moment. I would best describe myself as Wiccan but any suggestions do not have to pertain to that specifically. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.

You might consider picking up a copy of Starhawk's The Pagan Book of Death and Dying.  I thought it was pretty well written and useful.
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Otter
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« Reply #3: May 26, 2011, 09:12:00 am »

Hello everyone,

A kid went to high school with (only 2 years ago but it feels like ages now) passed away this weekend and his visitation is today. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for a personal, and relatively simple rite for mourning his death, sort of like a "service" I guess you could say, but it is solitary. It doesn't matter the specific tradition since my beliefs are kind of unsure at the moment. I would best describe myself as Wiccan but any suggestions do not have to pertain to that specifically. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Zoness. A mourning ritual I like a silent supper, which my circle does at Samhain (before the ritual, so it doesn't require any particular religious preparation). You make yourself a dinner and eat it in silence (no TV on, no reading, no conversation if others are with you, no noise or distractions) with a place set at the table for the dead. I find it comforting as a way of sharing in their company one last time (and you could make it a yearly event, to recall their memory).
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« Reply #4: May 26, 2011, 10:02:07 am »


I'm sorry for your loss. A few days ago, I was unfortunately in need of such a ritual myself - a friend of a friend had passed on, and my best friend wanted to honor the deceased's Pagan heritage with a last rite of sorts - and ended up writing one myself. If you're interested, it's on my blog at the end of this post.

This is just to give you an idea of how you can honor someone's passing. Keep it simple, and definitely personalize it. The difficulty I faced in writing my ritual was that I (as one type of Pagan) was crafting a ritual for my friend (a super liberal Jew with Pagan/voodoo leanings) about the death of her friend (another type of Pagan). There were three conflicting views of Deity and the afterlife in there. Think not only about what you believe and whom you worship, but also what the deceased believed. Good luck.
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