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Author Topic: Should I date my stepbrother?  (Read 13284 times)
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« Reply #15: June 08, 2011, 11:29:48 pm »

Well, they're ones to talk given that they are mother and son as well as husband and wife.

LOL! Yes, this is an excellent point. Though, I don't have claim to being divinity. Smiley
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« Reply #16: June 08, 2011, 11:32:35 pm »

Well if she doesn't follow them I guess it doesn't make any difference but it seems really weird and like something that gods wouldn't approve of.  

Can you explain a little more why you think gods wouldn't approve? There are plenty of deities involved with incestuous relationships that are biologically related (as opposed to being step-siblings).
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« Reply #17: June 08, 2011, 11:33:50 pm »

LOL! Yes, this is an excellent point. Though, I don't have claim to being divinity. Smiley

Gosh, and all this time the wool was pulled over my eyes! You scoundrel.

Sounds like an interesting situation you're in, and I'm sorry it's causing distress. I hope things work out! I have no other words of wisdom but that.
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« Reply #18: June 08, 2011, 11:38:06 pm »

I only worship a lady, and I'm pretty sure that if anyone would approve it would be her, actually...

Oh.  Undecided
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« Reply #19: June 08, 2011, 11:39:06 pm »

Can you explain a little more why you think gods wouldn't approve? There are plenty of deities involved with incestuous relationships that are biologically related (as opposed to being step-siblings).

I read a book one time that said that witchcraft was just as moral as christianity and I think the bible would be against this.  I'll see if I can find that book again so I can share it with you all.
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« Reply #20: June 08, 2011, 11:39:23 pm »

Gosh, and all this time the wool was pulled over my eyes! You scoundrel.

Sounds like an interesting situation you're in, and I'm sorry it's causing distress. I hope things work out! I have no other words of wisdom but that.

LOL, thank you!

I think it's probably fine, it was just on my mind today after he stopped by and I wanted some input on it.

Honestly, I don't think I'm ready to date anyone at all for some time, and I am hoping that when I do it's my ex again. We both still love each other, but we have some work to do on ourselves.
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« Reply #21: June 08, 2011, 11:40:43 pm »

I read a book one time that said that witchcraft was just as moral as christianity and I think the bible would be against this.  I'll see if I can find that book again so I can share it with you all.

There are a few problems with what you've stated. First off, there is no one version of witchcraft - nor one version of Christianity. Second, any book can claim whatever it wants - it doesn't make it an authoritative source. Third, why on earth would you take another religion's holy text when looking for morality in your own religion?
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« Reply #22: June 08, 2011, 11:44:20 pm »

I read a book one time that said that witchcraft was just as moral as christianity and I think the bible would be against this.  I'll see if I can find that book again so I can share it with you all.

I... I don't know where to start. I rather think the Bible would not be against it, given that incident with Lot and his daughters, but you never know. However, that's not particularly relevant. The Bible is not the final word on morality (by a longshot) and my particular religion doesn't have anything to say about dating adult relatives-by-marriage, but I can say that I don't think there's anything inherently immoral about it, as we're not blood relatives of any kind at all.

Despite all that, it's obvious that my conditioning against the incest taboo is strong enough that it never even occurred to me as a possibility before, even though there isn't really any particular reason I couldn't date my stepbrother.

Well, except the fact that he's been married for 17 years.
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« Reply #23: June 08, 2011, 11:59:34 pm »

Well, except the fact that he's been married for 17 years.

Only an issue if monogamy is involved.

(I mean, while we're deadpanning.)
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« Reply #24: June 09, 2011, 12:01:42 am »

Oh, I definitely wouldn't make a move! No way. Just thinking... if things started to look like they might go in that direction, what do I do? And yes, with the divorce... plus, I'm freshly broken up and still in love with my ex. So it would be a while even if it looked like it was going down that road.
The "fresh breakup wounds" thing sounds to me like this would be just about the worst possible time to explore that chemistry - doubly so since both of you are in that position.

If things start to go in that direction, I'd say just treat it as you've been treating it all along (I'd say, "don't follow it, and don't acknowledge it," but I'm only guessing that that's been SOP; if it's something you've talked to each other about before, suddenly not doing so would give it unwanted significance), unless and until it becomes an Elephant In The Parlor - at which point, being candid and matter-of-fact about, "It's there, but this is not the time," is the way to go.

If, once you're both sufficiently recovered, you decide to do something about it, I don't see anything wrong with that.

Adjust advice as needed to suit your personality and the circumstances.  Oh, and don't let you-know-who toss any apples underfoot for her own amusement - bribe her, or point her at someone deserving of her ministrations, or whatever you've found works to deflect her attention.

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« Reply #25: June 09, 2011, 12:03:47 am »

I read a book one time that said that witchcraft was just as moral as christianity and I think the bible would be against this.  I'll see if I can find that book again so I can share it with you all.
"Just as moral as" does not mean the same thing as "has the same morals as".

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« Reply #26: June 09, 2011, 12:13:10 am »

The "fresh breakup wounds" thing sounds to me like this would be just about the worst possible time to explore that chemistry - doubly so since both of you are in that position.

If things start to go in that direction, I'd say just treat it as you've been treating it all along (I'd say, "don't follow it, and don't acknowledge it," but I'm only guessing that that's been SOP; if it's something you've talked to each other about before, suddenly not doing so would give it unwanted significance), unless and until it becomes an Elephant In The Parlor - at which point, being candid and matter-of-fact about, "It's there, but this is not the time," is the way to go.

If, once you're both sufficiently recovered, you decide to do something about it, I don't see anything wrong with that.

Adjust advice as needed to suit your personality and the circumstances.  Oh, and don't let you-know-who toss any apples underfoot for her own amusement - bribe her, or point her at someone deserving of her ministrations, or whatever you've found works to deflect her attention.

Sunflower

Thank you... good advice, especially about the apples. Wink
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« Reply #27: June 09, 2011, 05:52:01 am »

I... I don't know where to start. I rather think the Bible would not be against it, given that incident with Lot and his daughters, but you never know. However, that's not particularly relevant. The Bible is not the final word on morality (by a longshot) and my particular religion doesn't have anything to say about dating adult relatives-by-marriage, but I can say that I don't think there's anything inherently immoral about it, as we're not blood relatives of any kind at all.

Despite all that, it's obvious that my conditioning against the incest taboo is strong enough that it never even occurred to me as a possibility before, even though there isn't really any particular reason I couldn't date my stepbrother.

Well, except the fact that he's been married for 17 years.

Just so you know, the Bible does say that having sex with your half siblings, but it says nothing about step siblings, doesn't mention dating at all.
The bible is pretty weird about stuff, it forbids a guy marrying his aunt, but it's okay for a guy to marry his niece.
That's in Leviticus chapter 18 if you want to look it up.

But if you're not Christian or Jewish you shouldn't worry too much about the moral laws of the bible, the legal laws of your state/province, or country might say something though, or if your own faith has laws on that matter. There's no biological connection between you and a step-brother, well, there might be if you go back down your family trees... so with no biological connection, it's really a personal matter.
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« Reply #28: June 09, 2011, 08:25:23 am »

There's no biological connection between you and a step-brother, well, there might be if you go back down your family trees...

That could be so for any pairing.
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« Reply #29: June 09, 2011, 08:36:57 am »

That could be so for any pairing.

Right, like I know a couple that were married for like 20 years and then found out they were like 5th cousins or something like that...
There's nothing wrong with that.
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