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Author Topic: Should I date my stepbrother?  (Read 8864 times)
Melamphoros
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« Reply #30: June 09, 2011, 09:18:38 am »

Right, like I know a couple that were married for like 20 years and then found out they were like 5th cousins or something like that...
There's nothing wrong with that.

Genetically speaking, fourth cousins might as well be members of two completely different families.  So I imagine that there wouldn't be anything wrong with fifth cousins getting married.
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« Reply #31: June 09, 2011, 09:19:50 am »

Genetically speaking, fourth cousins might as well be members of two completely different families.  So I imagine that there wouldn't be anything wrong with fifth cousins getting married.

Do you know at what point genetics starts getting in the way? I've heard it quoted at second cousins, but that's just a random figure.
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« Reply #32: June 09, 2011, 09:29:37 am »

Do you know at what point genetics starts getting in the way? I've heard it quoted at second cousins, but that's just a random figure.

I'm not sure, but I think the main problem would be recessive genes that close relatives would be likely to share (which would be the reason why the Spanish Habsburgs were so messed up and how Victoria spread hemophilia across the royal houses of Europe).  As far as the law is concerned, I think there are a few states that allow marriages between first cousins but I'm not sure which ones...
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« Reply #33: June 09, 2011, 11:30:49 am »


I don't see anything morally wrong with it. As others have said, you might want give yourselves some time to recover from your past relationships, though.

The other thing I would consider, would having a romantic relationship affect the overall family dynamics? If so, in what ways? It could be difficult to have a successful relationship if your family is against it.

In my family, this would cause all kinds of drama! Family functions would be nightmare. I can't even imagine what my 93 year old grandfather would say!  Smiley

But, not all families are like mine and it may not be problem for you.  It's just something to consider if it gets to that point.

 
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« Reply #34: June 09, 2011, 01:09:52 pm »

I don't see anything morally wrong with it. As others have said, you might want give yourselves some time to recover from your past relationships, though.

The other thing I would consider, would having a romantic relationship affect the overall family dynamics? If so, in what ways? It could be difficult to have a successful relationship if your family is against it.

In my family, this would cause all kinds of drama! Family functions would be nightmare. I can't even imagine what my 93 year old grandfather would say!  Smiley

But, not all families are like mine and it may not be problem for you.  It's just something to consider if it gets to that point.

 

I don't know how my family would react, but honestly I doubt it would be a problem.

It's all kind of speculative at this point... as I think I mentioned, I'm still in love with my ex, and it might be a long time before that fades.
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« Reply #35: June 10, 2011, 12:49:53 am »

There's no biological connection between you and a step-brother, well, there might be if you go back down your family trees...
Yeah. Sometimes you do have to be careful with that. A friend of mine started dating this girl they were together for a couple of years (they were sexually active) and one day found out they were half siblings. Turned out they shared the same father, he had abandoned them both.
  As far as dating your stepbrother if the both of you are eventually comfortable with dating again and decide to see each other that is your business. You are both adults and didn't really grow up together, if you did I doubt the vibe would be there because you would have been raised as brother/sister instead of what sounds like to me little more than aquaintances. My dad remarried and I had a crush on two of my stepcousins for a couple of years and a different stepcousin had a crush on me. I know that stepcousins are a little father down the family tree thanstepbrothers, but I hope it will help you feel a little better.
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« Reply #36: June 10, 2011, 03:05:06 am »

Yeah. Sometimes you do have to be careful with that. A friend of mine started dating this girl they were together for a couple of years (they were sexually active) and one day found out they were half siblings. Turned out they shared the same father, he had abandoned them both.
  As far as dating your stepbrother if the both of you are eventually comfortable with dating again and decide to see each other that is your business. You are both adults and didn't really grow up together, if you did I doubt the vibe would be there because you would have been raised as brother/sister instead of what sounds like to me little more than aquaintances. My dad remarried and I had a crush on two of my stepcousins for a couple of years and a different stepcousin had a crush on me. I know that stepcousins are a little father down the family tree thanstepbrothers, but I hope it will help you feel a little better.

I'm sure some people wouldn't care if they found out they were half siblings.

I personally would never date my "step-brothers" or "step-sisters" (quoted because my dad's not technically married to his woman and my mom isn't technically married to her man) but not because I think it's morally wrong, I just think my 2 "step-sisters" and "step-brother" on my mom's end are too dense in the head, and my dad's side they're mostly all married with kids.
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« Reply #37: June 10, 2011, 09:46:12 am »

Do you know at what point genetics starts getting in the way? I've heard it quoted at second cousins, but that's just a random figure.

My grandparents were second cousins and we all seem pretty OK so far.  I know that's only one case, though; I suspect that the degree at which it becomes a problem depends on what recessives are active in the family.  A family without a lot of dangerous recessives to reinforce might get away with some pretty close relationships, I'd guess.

I wonder if Lyric could provide any insight here.  Dogs aren't people, but her time as a dauchsand (sp?) breeder might provide some insight into how quickly genetics can become a problem.
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« Reply #38: June 10, 2011, 11:32:35 am »

My grandparents were second cousins and we all seem pretty OK so far.  I know that's only one case, though; I suspect that the degree at which it becomes a problem depends on what recessives are active in the family.  A family without a lot of dangerous recessives to reinforce might get away with some pretty close relationships, I'd guess.

I wonder if Lyric could provide any insight here.  Dogs aren't people, but her time as a dauchsand (sp?) breeder might provide some insight into how quickly genetics can become a problem.
I seem to recall a study a few years back that determined that first cousins were not at a significantly higher risk than any two random members of the population if there was no prior history of inbreeding.

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« Reply #39: June 10, 2011, 09:54:28 pm »

I wonder if Lyric could provide any insight here.  Dogs aren't people, but her time as a dauchsand (sp?) breeder might provide some insight into how quickly genetics can become a problem.

Dunno about dachshunds specifically, but it's generally figured in breeding that the first generation of inbreeding is rarely a problem, it's if you do it in several generations that you get real issues. (We breed Tollers)
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« Reply #40: June 10, 2011, 10:33:02 pm »

I seem to recall a study a few years back that determined that first cousins were not at a significantly higher risk than any two random members of the population if there was no prior history of inbreeding.

Sunflower

The anthro course I took a few years ago spelled out very clearly that inbreeding does not CREATE defects but rather it can radically increase the odds of latent defects EXPRESSING.

In other words if you're from a family that hasn't interbred in generations you could probably breed with a sibling or parent with little risk of defects.

However.

Social taboos make sibling and closer marriages generally unpalatable outside of royalty and similar lineages.

Regarding the biblical marriage thing a lot of middle eastern cultures prefer first cousin marriages.
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« Reply #41: June 11, 2011, 03:19:06 pm »

Dunno about dachshunds specifically, but it's generally figured in breeding that the first generation of inbreeding is rarely a problem, it's if you do it in several generations that you get real issues. (We breed Tollers)

Lyric, being the breeder, would be more knowledgeable than I. However, I have two Dachshunds, both of whom are purebred. The genetics become a factor depending on the coat type of the Dachshund. The problem coat is dapple. You can breed a dapple to a red or a black and tan, but it's frowned upon to breed two dapples together. This isn't always the case, of course, but it tends to be.

For instance. Double dapples are prone to blindness or deafness. My Sweet Pea is a pure red and fine, however my Jasmine is the product of a double dappling breeding (and of a mini being bred with a standard). Because of this, she is prone to heart disease (so far, so good) and she is bald. No, I'm not kidding. My dog has no fur on the top of her head all the way down to her butt. The condition is called color dilution alopecia. This doesn't effect her very much except that, in the summer, we have to put suntan lotion on her and she gets cold VERY easily.
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