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Author Topic: First spell I ever made is now complete.  (Read 15019 times)
r2squared
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« Topic Start: June 10, 2011, 12:36:01 am »

Criticism is appreciated.

So this is a Business Spell to help out those who have recently gotten a job or just want to make their position more secure. It also allows ways to move up.

I've chosen mint and lavender to use as my materials, but you may substitute as you see fit.

First I grind up the mint and light it in my cauldron. Afterward, I write down everything I want to happen with my job on a separate pieces of paper, burning them one by one. Next I light a Lavender incense while repeating this spell which I wrote myself (this is the part I need constructive criticism on)

Light of eye and soft of tough
I will speak little and listen much
I invoke the ancients, the spirits of motivation
Aid me with your power, and my determination
Make __ see my potential
Deliver me from the cynical
As I try every time to make the sale
Forgiving myself if at times I fail
For granting me obedience
I let go of impatience
To reach a promotion I must cast out
All evil thought, my worry, my doubt
To reach ultimate success
I will always be wary of excess
Make my ultimate goal appear
This I choose for my career
Until one day I may decide
To leave them and this job behind
Merry meet, merry part
I'll bright their cheeks and warm their heart.
And carry with me these laws I must
In perfect love and perfect trust
With any other job path I take
Be my guide for fortune's sake.
As I will this, so shall it be.
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NyteShaed
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« Reply #1: June 10, 2011, 10:22:55 am »

I'd take out the bit about making it your career and possibly quitting later on.  Those two parts are in opposition to one another and you want your intent in a spell to be pure.  If you want this to be your career leave out the part about quitting, if you aren't sure leave it all out and focus on short term success.  You can write a spell to sever you from the job later if you decide to.


Criticism is appreciated.

So this is a Business Spell to help out those who have recently gotten a job or just want to make their position more secure. It also allows ways to move up.

I've chosen mint and lavender to use as my materials, but you may substitute as you see fit.

First I grind up the mint and light it in my cauldron. Afterward, I write down everything I want to happen with my job on a separate pieces of paper, burning them one by one. Next I light a Lavender incense while repeating this spell which I wrote myself (this is the part I need constructive criticism on)

Light of eye and soft of tough
I will speak little and listen much
I invoke the ancients, the spirits of motivation
Aid me with your power, and my determination
Make __ see my potential
Deliver me from the cynical
As I try every time to make the sale
Forgiving myself if at times I fail
For granting me obedience
I let go of impatience
To reach a promotion I must cast out
All evil thought, my worry, my doubt
To reach ultimate success
I will always be wary of excess
Make my ultimate goal appear
This I choose for my career
Until one day I may decide
To leave them and this job behind
Merry meet, merry part
I'll bright their cheeks and warm their heart.
And carry with me these laws I must
In perfect love and perfect trust
With any other job path I take
Be my guide for fortune's sake.
As I will this, so shall it be.



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r2squared
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« Reply #2: June 11, 2011, 11:19:46 am »


Now why isn't anyone else giving me criticism >.<
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« Reply #3: June 11, 2011, 11:33:57 am »

Now why isn't anyone else giving me criticism >.<

I would if I knew anything about spells.
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« Reply #4: June 11, 2011, 12:23:22 pm »

Now why isn't anyone else giving me criticism >.<

Partly cause I'm still trying to figure out why you are using lavender in your spell, unless it's to bring you peace and happiness in your choice?  The spell itself is too long and flowery for my taste.  I'm more for keeping it short and sweet.  So, no, I really don't have much to tell you.  It's not close to one I would do, but we have different styles. *shrugs*

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« Reply #5: June 11, 2011, 01:24:19 pm »

The spell itself is too long and flowery for my taste.  I'm more for keeping it short and sweet.  So, no, I really don't have much to tell you.  It's not close to one I would do, but we have different styles. *shrugs*

This.
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« Reply #6: June 11, 2011, 02:12:38 pm »

I've chosen mint and lavender to use as my materials, but you may substitute as you see fit.

(All below, my personal opinion upon reading your spell.)



These herbs are mostly used for cleaning and healing.
Both have some associations with Mercury, so if the job's gotta do with communication it fit from this pov.
Personally I'd go for some more firey herbs like Allspice or Cinnamon.

But I see that you're covering some stuff in your spell that might fall under the domain of cleaning and healing.
So you might as well keep the herbs of your choice. I'm pretty much non-dogma when it comes to ingredients.

Light of eye and soft of tough
I will speak little and listen much

Got it from the Wiccan Rede?
You're asking for this, you're promising to do this?
Or you just have a nice start of the spell?
I don't see the relevance to your intention. But since it's your spell, you have something in mind I guess.

I invoke the ancients, the spirits of motivation

You have a certain ancient spirit being in mind here?

Aid me with your power, and my determination
Make __ see my potential
Deliver me from the cynical
As I try every time to make the sale

So here you're asking for Mr. X seeing your skills.
And you imply that you only just try to make the sale?

Forgiving myself if at times I fail

Here you imply fail. I know you seem to want to ask for being not so tough on yourself if it so happens that you fail, but for me this includes failing into the spell. I try to avoid strong negative words in spells that are for success.

For granting me obedience
I let go of impatience

Here you ask for... huh?

To reach a promotion I must cast out
All evil thought, my worry, my doubt
To reach ultimate success

So now again, you want a promotion and explain what flaws you must overcome to reach it.
Asking for 'exorcising' your dark parts and having again strong negative key words.


I will always be wary of excess
Make my ultimate goal appear
This I choose for my career
Until one day I may decide
To leave them and this job behind
Merry meet, merry part

And huh? again?
I want success, but only till I may go away, so dunno...?
What really is your intention? What is the ultimate goal?


I'll bright their cheeks and warm their heart.
And carry with me these laws I must
In perfect love and perfect trust
With any other job path I take
Be my guide for fortune's sake.
As I will this, so shall it be.[/i]

And you want to make everybody happy whereever you go?
And who do you ask to be your guide? The ancient spirit powers of motivation from the start of the spell?

I am with the ones mentioning that this spell is way to long for my taste.
It seems not to be a spell per se, but a declaration and confession of a lot of things.

And it is meandering between too different goals: boss see how good I am - bring me the promotion <-> help me to get rid of the flaws I perceive in my character that stand in my way <-> I think you planned it as a built in due date to end the spell

Too many things in one spell.
Way too different battle fields.

My approach would be trying to address the temper/character issues separately.

Then doing a Hey-Boss-I'm-good-promote-me-Spell with just this intention.
And be convinced that you are good or leave it be.
If you can't convince yourself, you won't convince the Powers that Be or your boss either.

Just my 0.02 and as it already was mentioned, styles are different.
The above wouldn't work for me at all.
Too much talk that scatters the intention imo.
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« Reply #7: June 11, 2011, 02:28:33 pm »


I think I have comments, but I'm catching up online after 2 days offline, and am on a train back to Boston for a few days with my mother and friends before flying home. (Came out for a job interview where they put me up somewhere without internet. Which was actually great....)

But I'm about to meet up with a friend, and may not have a chance to get back to this until Sunday morning (maybe later tonight, depending on how access at my mom's apartment works out) . But since my critique is, I think, going to involve a bunch of "let's think about the magical theory", it's not going to be a short enough post before the train I'm on gets in.
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« Reply #8: June 11, 2011, 02:58:49 pm »

The spell itself is too long and flowery for my taste.  I'm more for keeping it short and sweet.  So, no, I really don't have much to tell you.  It's not close to one I would do, but we have different styles. *shrugs*

Agreed.  I'm not one for speaking during spells, I generally write my intent down and burn it.  But I do a lot of candle magic.

Honestly, does this spell feel good to you?  Do you feel at peace with what you did and truly feel like it will work?  Then it works well for you.  If not, then maybe figure out what makes you go "Hmmm..." and change it for next time.
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« Reply #9: June 11, 2011, 03:11:36 pm »


Yes, I thought 'Oh Jenett wrote a rather short answer...' Wink  Cheesy
*runs away fast*  Grin
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'You had to repay, good or bad. There was more than one type of obligation. That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance. You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long. All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.' Terry Pratchett 'Lords and Ladies'

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« Reply #10: June 11, 2011, 03:13:54 pm »

Yes, I thought 'Oh Jenett wrote a rather short answer...' Wink  Cheesy
*runs away fast*  Grin

When I first glanced at the post in question, my first thought was: "She's capable of writing a response that short?"
J/k, of course.

*runs off to join Tana*
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r2squared
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« Reply #11: June 11, 2011, 08:17:53 pm »

Agreed.  I'm not one for speaking during spells, I generally write my intent down and burn it.  But I do a lot of candle magic.

Honestly, does this spell feel good to you?  Do you feel at peace with what you did and truly feel like it will work?  Then it works well for you.  If not, then maybe figure out what makes you go "Hmmm..." and change it for next time.

Going with what you and Tana said, I definitely see where you guys are coming from. Yes, I did take inspiration from the Wiccan Rede (this is my VERY FIRST spell, so I had to use something that made a good introduction to the spell.) The Rede is very personal to me as well. Also, I chose mint because it's the only natural herb growing around my house. The Lavender Incense is for peace.

My Ultimate Goal is to gain something in the art field, be it cartooning, advertising, or design. Right now, I'm in sales. The main purpose of the spell is to get me to shine on through any job I take until I reach my final career point (which is why I stated 'until the day I decide//to leave them and this job behind'.)

This includes getting promoted and getting my sales up so that I'll always look good for my current employer. The promotions are mainly for resume' use. I asked for them to remove all the negative points about me so that I could achieve my goals more easily. Things like cynicism, impatience, and yes, even evil thoughts have all burned my bridges from all of my past five jobs. Don't worry, I've more than learned from my mistakes from all the shit ton of karma I received back. >_<'

It is pretty long, and I'm trying to work more on the rhythm because I know a few points seem a little awkward. I don't know why it's so long...I guess I've always liked the chanting part of magic, myself. I feel the power more when I say something out loud. Besides, I have a very whimsical, artistic mind and I want it to be a little dramatic (I always incorporate some drama with my magick.)

As far as the spirits, maybe I will take that part out. When I wrote the spell, I used other spells in my BoS as a reference point, and they usually invoke certain forces similar to spirits of motivation. Some advice here, should I edit that into "I invoke the energy of motivation," or something similar to that affect, instead of just saying 'spirits'?
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« Reply #12: June 11, 2011, 08:27:48 pm »

Also, I chose mint because it's the only natural herb growing around my house.

I would be very careful about that approach.  Different plants do different things, and are for different things.  You wouldn't cook dinner by just grabbing whatever one spice is hanging about in your kitchen just because it's there, I'd hope, and when you're trying to make something specific happen, magically or otherwise, you want specific tools.  Instead of "I need to get this done and mint is close to hand so I'll use mint," maybe approach your supply by saying, "I have some mint, what is mint good for and how can I make use of it?"
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« Reply #13: June 11, 2011, 08:58:25 pm »

Criticism is appreciated.
I'd have to join the others who said this seems like you're trying to do too many things at once.  It's your first spell, but it's unlikely to be the only spell you ever do, right?  So you might want to narrow down the goals - break them into managable chunks.  Maybe focus first on success in the current job to get you through, then a second spell to help you find work in a more artistic field.  Possibly a third working to help you deal with the personal growth/confidence issues you mentioned.  Actually, I'd do that one second - you'll need a lot of confidence to find a job in art.

As for the mint - it has money/prosperity connotations for me (along with other things), so I'd personally have no problem using it for the "I wanna be successful/get promoted" aspects of the spell.  But personal UPG about an ingredient is different from "it's what I had on hand."  I've found that in spell work it's important to know the reason for every choice.  (Not saying that "I like how it smells" or something similar can't be a perfectly good reason to include something.  Just that it should be a deliberate decision.)

You do seem to have a flair for poetry/drama that can be very useful in spell work.  I just think you're lacking a little in focus.
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« Reply #14: June 11, 2011, 09:05:26 pm »

As for the mint - it has money/prosperity connotations for me (along with other things), so I'd personally have no problem using it for the "I wanna be successful/get promoted" aspects of the spell.  But personal UPG about an ingredient is different from "it's what I had on hand."  I've found that in spell work it's important to know the reason for every choice.  (Not saying that "I like how it smells" or something similar can't be a perfectly good reason to include something.  Just that it should be a deliberate decision.)

I agree with this.  The mint wasn't bothering me too much, I have seen it connected with money/prosperity but it was the lavender that was confusing me a bit.   Unless, like I said, he was using it for peace/happiness, still I probably wouldn't use it in a spell like this. IMO

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