The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum (Archive Board)
November 26, 2020, 02:40:51 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: This is our Read Only Archive Board (closed to posting July 2011). Join our new vBulletin board!
 
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 26, 2020, 02:40:51 am

Login with username, password and session length
Donate!
The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.
TC Staff
Important Information about this Archive Board
This message board is The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum's SMF Archive Board. It is closed to new memberships and to posting, but there are over 250,000 messages here that you can still search and read -- many full of interesting and useful information. (This board was open from February 2007 through June 2011).

Our new vBulletin discussion board is located at http://www.ecauldron.com/forum/ -- if you would like to participate in discussions like those you see here, please visit our new vBulletin message board, register an account and join in our discussions. We hope you will find the information in this message archive useful and will consider joining us on our new board.
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
Author Topic: Things CATS Must Try To Remember!  (Read 4045 times)
LyricFox
Co-Host
Administrator
Grand Adept Member
*****
Last Login:September 04, 2011, 02:39:11 pm
United States United States

Religion: Lapsed Hellenic Reconstructionist
Posts: 8959


Blog entries (0)


« Topic Start: June 19, 2011, 10:24:47 am »

From one of my Devon Rex mailing lists:



Things CATS Must Try To Remember!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yowling at the can of food will not make it open itself.

I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.

If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay
there until I get hungry.

The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him
constantly.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl
at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".

Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely
tail.

No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are
not cat toys.

If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in
groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.

My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.

The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by
swatting bits of it all over the floor or by picking it up and shaking
it from side to side

I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.

I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and
meowing complainingly at it will not bring it any closer.

It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it
all dissolves in the boiling coffee.

The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its
bowl.

If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a
piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.

The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not
freak out every time I see it.

I am a neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail
fluffed up will not make my balls grow back.

If I must give a present to my humans's overnight guests, my toy mouse
is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't
as tasty.

Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them!

If I want to keep all nine of my lives, balloons are NOT meant to
be used as scratching posts.
Logged

Visit The Breast Cancer Site & Click to fund free Mammograms
Hosts' Store: Doxy's Bazaar (w/Pagan Items)
Need Web Hosting? See The Cheap Web Hosting Report

Welcome, Guest!
You will need to register and/or login to participate in our discussions.

Read our Rules and Policies and the Quoting Guidelines.

Help Fund Our Server? Donate to Lyricfox's Cancer Fund?

catherine
Master Member
****
Last Login:November 08, 2013, 10:51:52 am
United States United States

Religion: temporarily unavailable, renovations in progress
Posts: 332

Gravatar

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #1: June 19, 2011, 11:00:53 am »

Things CATS Must Try To Remember!

Also, breakfast is never served at 4:00am. Pawing at my human's face won't change that. It will only make her grumpy.
Logged
Inca
Master Member
****
Last Login:December 31, 2011, 11:49:06 am
Netherlands Netherlands

Religion: agnostic
Posts: 279


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #2: June 19, 2011, 11:16:41 am »


Cats, such.. (what is the word here? weird? amazing?) creatures. They are such an intriguing combination between masters of the luxuries of modern life (indoor heating, using furniture to its fullest, opening fridges, using water taps for drinking), being utterly domesticated (or well, at least loving to live with human servants and being pet and served on cue), and totally wild. Between utterly cute and totally cruel. Between very smart and manipulative, and totally silly and dumb.
Logged
Morag
Adept Member
*****
*
Last Login:October 16, 2019, 05:54:45 pm
Canada Canada

Religion: NeoCeltic Feri/Reclaimingesque HearthWitchery
TCN ID: morag
Posts: 2178


So much more than a pretty girl.

Blog entries (0)

maitressekatje honeyfeather honeyfeather
WWW

Ignore
« Reply #3: June 19, 2011, 08:09:52 pm »

If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in
groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.

This one is the best.  Cheesy
Logged

Read Bellica here!
Innocence and Immanence

"i am not an angry girl, but it seems like i've got everyone fooled -- every time i say something they find hard to hear they chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fear. and imagine you're a girl, just trying to finally come clean, knowing full well they'd prefer you were dirty and smiling."
--Ani DiFranco, Not a Pretty Girl.
veggiewolf
Adept Member
*****
*
*
Last Login:November 14, 2014, 01:04:25 pm
United States United States

Religion: Hoer of Onions / FlameKeeper
TCN ID: veggiewolf
Posts: 1467


Stop it, or I'll bury you alive in a box.

Blog entries (8)

veggiewolf morningwolfe


Ignore
« Reply #4: June 19, 2011, 08:29:25 pm »

Also, breakfast is never served at 4:00am. Pawing at my human's face won't change that. It will only make her grumpy.

My miaow for ice hockey sounds remarkably like my miaow for food to my human's ears.  It is natural for her to be confused.
Logged

Ask me about FlameKeeping!

"I can't take HIS money; I can't print MY OWN money.  Why don't I just lay down and die?" - Homer Simpson
"My dream has been shattered into shards of a broken dream!" - Homer Simpson
catherine
Master Member
****
Last Login:November 08, 2013, 10:51:52 am
United States United States

Religion: temporarily unavailable, renovations in progress
Posts: 332

Gravatar

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #5: June 19, 2011, 10:12:43 pm »

My miaow for ice hockey sounds remarkably like my miaow for food to my human's ears.  It is natural for her to be confused.

Your feline overlord likes ice hockey?

Mine is very fond of roller derby. Cheesy
Logged
veggiewolf
Adept Member
*****
*
*
Last Login:November 14, 2014, 01:04:25 pm
United States United States

Religion: Hoer of Onions / FlameKeeper
TCN ID: veggiewolf
Posts: 1467


Stop it, or I'll bury you alive in a box.

Blog entries (8)

veggiewolf morningwolfe


Ignore
« Reply #6: June 20, 2011, 11:16:35 am »

Your feline overlord likes ice hockey?

Mine is very fond of roller derby. Cheesy


Yes.  Our youngest one, Zaphod Beeblebrox AKA Beeble is fond of ice hockey and will often go to the freezer door and stretch up it to ask for ice cubes.  We are then expected to play with him.
Logged

Ask me about FlameKeeping!

"I can't take HIS money; I can't print MY OWN money.  Why don't I just lay down and die?" - Homer Simpson
"My dream has been shattered into shards of a broken dream!" - Homer Simpson
catherine
Master Member
****
Last Login:November 08, 2013, 10:51:52 am
United States United States

Religion: temporarily unavailable, renovations in progress
Posts: 332

Gravatar

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #7: June 20, 2011, 12:59:19 pm »

Yes.  Our youngest one, Zaphod Beeblebrox AKA Beeble is fond of ice hockey and will often go to the freezer door and stretch up it to ask for ice cubes.  We are then expected to play with him.

That's hilarious!

For some reason I thought you were talking about watching hockey on tv. There are some things that will get Maia's attention. She actually watched the entire movie Whip It with us. So, I concluded that she must like roller derby.
Logged
victoreia
Senior Apprentice
**
Last Login:October 25, 2011, 01:19:43 am
United States United States

Religion: pagan (still searching)
Posts: 79

Gravatar

Never tickle a sleeping dragon.

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #8: June 20, 2011, 05:23:31 pm »

Also, breakfast is never served at 4:00am. Pawing at my human's face won't change that. It will only make her grumpy.

THIS! And.....

Just because the birds are awake do not mean it's breakfast time. The human doesn't care what the birds say!
Logged
Waterfall
Senior Apprentice
**
Last Login:July 30, 2011, 04:52:42 am
United States United States

Religion: Lokean
Posts: 85

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #9: June 20, 2011, 05:38:26 pm »


For some reason I thought you were talking about watching hockey on tv. There are some things that will get Maia's attention. She actually watched the entire movie Whip It with us. So, I concluded that she must like roller derby.

That would be my cat - she'll actually watch hockey games with me. Not all the time, but I'll catch her watching the TV once in a while when I'm watching a game. It's great because she doesn't freak out when we scream and cheer. She just sits there calmly, watching the screen and giving the humans dirty looks for being so loud.
Logged
Melamphoros
Staff
Grand Adept Member
***
Last Login:March 28, 2015, 11:01:26 pm
United States United States

Religion: Informed Eclectic with Hellenic Overtones
TCN ID: Melamphoros
Posts: 13621


Kiss My Scythe

Blog entries (0)


« Reply #10: June 20, 2011, 06:03:36 pm »

Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them!

THIS!  One of my feline overlords likes to go into a corner (or sometimes another room) and start howling at the top of his lungs until someone yells at him.
Logged



Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you will make a great sandwich.
My Spiritual Blog
OpenHands
Master Member
****
Last Login:January 11, 2012, 09:52:34 pm
United States United States

Religion: Canaanite Polytheism
Posts: 270


Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #11: June 24, 2011, 12:05:03 am »


Humping shoes is not an acceptable thing to do when company is over.  In fact, it's not acceptable, period. 

When you try to lay on my head in the middle of the night, I am going to gently push you off.  Growling in frustration and spraying anal gland secretions into hubby's face is NOT OK. 
Logged

- OpenHands

"Gardens are not made by singing, "Oh, how beautiful" and sitting in the shade." -- Rudyard Kipling

http://mathbatu.wordpress.com

Donor Ad: Become a Silver or Gold Donor to get your ad here.

Tags:
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
 
Jump to:  
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

* Share this topic...
In a forum
(BBCode)
In a site/blog
(HTML)


Related Topics
Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
Remember me looking for uses for empty CD spindles?
Computers and the Internet
LyricFox 5 2471 Last post April 19, 2007, 08:54:25 pm
by Starglade
Remember Albemarle County and the backpack dust up?
Non-Religious News
LyricFox 4 1875 Last post July 02, 2007, 11:09:45 am
by Pyperlie
When moving - remember the stone circle!
Religious News
Vale 2 1349 Last post November 26, 2008, 11:03:58 pm
by Malkin
Trying to remember the name of a short story
Art, Poetry and Writing
FierFlye 5 1604 Last post March 24, 2009, 04:13:11 pm
by FierFlye
How many cats do you have? « 1 2 »
Pets
veggiewolf 26 9605 Last post July 25, 2010, 12:42:37 am
by Cybella
EU Cookie Notice: This site uses cookies. By using this site you consent to their use.


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.064 seconds with 49 queries.