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Author Topic: Is this what thwapping feels like?  (Read 1853 times)
Last Login:August 07, 2011, 12:17:54 pm
United States United States

Religion: homesick animist
Posts: 3

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« Topic Start: June 20, 2011, 02:33:53 am »

I'm starting to get the feeling that a deity might be pulling pranks on me.

Upon moving to upstate NY a year ago, I made an introductory offering to whatever local place spirits were around and awake, as a sort of “Hi, nice to meet you, I hope I have a nice time living here and possibly working with you in the futurea” greeting. Immediately upon making said offering, a duck flew right past me. It was an unusual and startling experience! From what I could glean from descriptions of bird omens at Sacred Texts, this was probably a favorable sign. I was incredibly confused by the experience, though, because I’ve never gotten that strong of a response from land spirits before, and I started to wonder if some deity had taken an interest.

I haven’t had much luck with gods in the past twelve years since I discovered paganism. At first it genuinely seemed like nothing was out there; in recent years I’ve been much more of the mindset that I should focus on self-betterment and sort through my emotional baggage before I attempt to take on the commitment of a relationship with deity of any sort. This approach has served me just fine so far, but lately I’ve swung back to the idea that I should do some more research, get in better touch with the various cultures that are in my ancestry, and see if I can build a stable practice out of that.

Just this past week I’ve started to take a sort of spiritual inventory of what I’m doing in my religious life, what I’ve done in the past that has worked (or not), and what the future might hold. The divinations I’ve done seem to indicate a time of change, beginning of a new journey, welcoming. etc. I was all set to make a nice detailed list of the cultures I have ancestral ties to and ask around here on the board if there were any good books about those cultures’ historical practices. I had a plan laid out and everything!

And then I started having some odd dreams that once again leave me with the sense that a different, unfamiliar type of spirit is aware of what I’m doing, and possibly poking my subconscious. My most recent dream involved my having to care for a large reddish-orange ram, which I put out in the garden but it kept trying to come inside and eat all my food. This is all UPG of course, but it feels like someone is fairly entertained by my frustrations.

So, I’m wondering if these different strange happenings have some sort of associations to help me look in the right direction: bird omens, dreams, sheep or rams, and a sense of travel/change. Does this set off any bells for anyone?

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