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Author Topic: Energy Split (like an alter ego) - explained in terms of astrology  (Read 6908 times)
Skydaughter
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« Topic Start: June 27, 2011, 02:24:28 am »

I've got major Gemini energy (astrology: Gemini - aka The Twins) as well as significant Libra energy (aka Balancer/Scales)... So my question is, is anyone familiar with the feeling of having a different personality inside them? I've felt this way since high school and even named her (no I'm not suffering from multiple personality disorder - I know who I am and that this energy is a part of my whole self). It's kinda like taking all the darkness (not evil) inside myself and I guess making it separate. For those familiar with astrology... half of me is gemini and the other half is scorpio. One side is light and airy (think fairy  Grin) and child-like, while the other side is dark and deep and very into black  Wink (the image of a goth teen).

The last time "she" (my dark side if you will) visited I was going through a major depression and she wasn't a very good influence. But that was years ago. Now she's back, but less destructive. She's not evil (like Anakin vs Darth Vader), it's more like night vs day...  It kinda feels like she wants to teach me about herself which is really that part of myself. I want to know if others have this kind of experience and maybe some of the things their other half has taught them...
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Waldfrau
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« Reply #1: June 27, 2011, 03:24:36 am »

So my question is, is anyone familiar with the feeling of having a different personality inside them? I've felt this way since high school and even named her (no I'm not suffering from multiple personality disorder - I know who I am and that this energy is a part of my whole self).
I'm no expert in psychology, but as I understand how the psyche works with different experiences and personality attributes it's not uncommon to view oneself as multi-facetted and conceptualize this into different images of oneself. A multiple personality disorder would be an extreme conduction of this ability.

There are some therapy-forms which work with this ability of the psyche (I guess for people who don't have multiple personality disorder). One example is to let people visualize their 'inner child' and their 'adult self' and let the 'adult self' care for the 'inner child' to help the person allow him/herself to percieve and care for his/her own needs.

What you tell sounds a bit like a 'shadow self'. In some pagan paths there is something called 'shadow work' where one explores unexpressed and unseen sides of one's own self. I think others here can tell you more about it.

In the book "Twelve wild Swans" from Starhawk/Valentine I also came across an exercise called "companion self trance" which also explores unexpressed varieties of oneself (while being something different than shadow work - I think.)


All these exercise forms rely on the ability of the psyche to percieve itsself as multifacetted and put those experiences into images. My experience with stuff like this is that it helps to integrate different personality traits and needs if one has inner conflicts, to help them fit together better, feel more at peace with oneself.

About the astrology stuff I have no idea...
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Skydaughter
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« Reply #2: June 27, 2011, 03:38:46 am »

About the astrology stuff I have no idea...

 Wink The astrology stuff isn't that important... it was just a way to explain myself, but you seem to understand exactly what I'm saying anyway.

I'll have to research this concept of "shadow self" as that sounds exactly like what I'm experiencing. Thank you!  Smiley
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« Reply #3: June 27, 2011, 04:00:41 am »

There are some therapy-forms which work with this ability of the psyche (I guess for people who don't have multiple personality disorder). One example is to let people visualize their 'inner child' and their 'adult self' and let the 'adult self' care for the 'inner child' to help the person allow him/herself to percieve and care for his/her own needs.

Huh. I had no idea other people did this. (Although for me, it's less adult v. child, but rather either current me v. different form of me, or me v. a teacher [last vivid one I can recall was some sort of crone-like figure].)
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« Reply #4: June 27, 2011, 02:08:53 pm »

So my question is, is anyone familiar with the feeling of having a different personality inside them? I've felt this way since high school and even named her (no I'm not suffering from multiple personality disorder - I know who I am and that this energy is a part of my whole self). It's kinda like taking all the darkness (not evil) inside myself and I guess making it separate.

I had something a bit like this myself, only in my case it wasn't represented as a goth girl but as a monster made of insects and subaquatic creatures. If I learnt anything it was that seperation makes it worse, integrating the two parts makes it better. You could look up the Jungian idea of the shadow, or read Hermann Hesse's 'Steppenwolf' which are both on this subject, and helped me.



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Katefox
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« Reply #5: June 27, 2011, 07:29:48 pm »

I've got major Gemini energy (astrology: Gemini - aka The Twins) as well as significant Libra energy (aka Balancer/Scales)... So my question is, is anyone familiar with the feeling of having a different personality inside them? I've felt this way since high school and even named her (no I'm not suffering from multiple personality disorder - I know who I am and that this energy is a part of my whole self). It's kinda like taking all the darkness (not evil) inside myself and I guess making it separate. For those familiar with astrology... half of me is gemini and the other half is scorpio. One side is light and airy (think fairy  Grin) and child-like, while the other side is dark and deep and very into black  Wink (the image of a goth teen).

The last time "she" (my dark side if you will) visited I was going through a major depression and she wasn't a very good influence. But that was years ago. Now she's back, but less destructive. She's not evil (like Anakin vs Darth Vader), it's more like night vs day...  It kinda feels like she wants to teach me about herself which is really that part of myself. I want to know if others have this kind of experience and maybe some of the things their other half has taught them...
Well, I can't comment on the astrology because I don't believe in it.  So claiming to have Libra energy, or Scorpio energy, or Gemini energy doesn't mean anything to me.

The idea of separating oneself into multiple personae (for lack of better words) isn't unknown to me.

I do remember reading a book, maybe it was some kind of self-help thing?  I can't now remember; it was years ago.  But the author suggested taking various aspects of one's personality and making them into characters, however many for however many parts of your personality you wanted to represent.  And then if you had a big decision to make, to have a "parts party", basically imagining some kind of meeting where all the parts of your personality would meet and discuss the issue from their different perspectives and come to a conclusion about it.  I never really bothered with doing this, but I remember it because I thought it was interesting, nonetheless.

For myself, I have an imaginary friend. Tongue  No, really.  I think better in dialogue, especially if I'm working through a problem, or brainstorming.  So my imaginary friend fills the other half of that dialogue.  After having him around nearly constantly for years, he acts fairly autonomously, making observations, or comments I wasn't expecting.  It's like he's a whole other person inside my head, except that we are both perfectly aware that he is entirely a mental construct, imaginary.  I wouldn't call him a dark side, or shadow self, though; being my eternal optimist is part of his job description.
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Waldfrau
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« Reply #6: July 02, 2011, 05:15:41 am »

I do remember reading a book, maybe it was some kind of self-help thing?  I can't now remember; it was years ago.  But the author suggested taking various aspects of one's personality and making them into characters, however many for however many parts of your personality you wanted to represent.  And then if you had a big decision to make, to have a "parts party", basically imagining some kind of meeting where all the parts of your personality would meet and discuss the issue from their different perspectives and come to a conclusion about it.  I never really bothered with doing this, but I remember it because I thought it was interesting, nonetheless.
I've come across something like this called 'inner team', there's also the variation of visualizing yourself in different ages (baby, toddler, school kid, teen, young adult, middle age, senior...) and assemble them at a conference table, I guess it would also work with archetypes or the crew of the enterprise.  Cheesy

I've made the experience that when there's a lot of inner conflict with something this kind of approach is too direct for me because the different aspects don't like to talk to each other about what they don't see eye to eye. Instead I visualize a house where everyone has his/her own room and they can meet each other or just leave each other alone and keep to themselves in their own space if they need it.
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AmberHeart
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« Reply #7: July 02, 2011, 10:25:44 am »

Wink The astrology stuff isn't that important... it was just a way to explain myself, but you seem to understand exactly what I'm saying anyway.

I'll have to research this concept of "shadow self" as that sounds exactly like what I'm experiencing. Thank you!  Smiley

Each of us is capable of the full range of human emotions/responses. Each of us must dance on the cutting edge of the knife blade of endless choice from moment to moment. That is being a human being. It is not what we are capable of but what we choose to do that defines who we are. And if free will, circumstances and change alter or negate our available choices at any point, then it is how we respond that will be the determining factor.

Jung did some work on the concept of the Shadow if you haven’t explored his writings yet. Whenever you are within a context (cultural, religious, etc) that stresses striving to be ‘good’ or ‘light’, whatever we define to be the dark gets pushed out into our 'Shadow'. We begin to disown that part of ourselves, see this as separate from the ‘light’ part of us and outside of our control. In other words, we deliberately disempower ourselves because we want acceptance and/or approval or perhaps out of fear of acknowledging the knife blade. 

I've been a Witch for a long time and one of the paths of empowerment that the Craft can require from a practitioner is what I call being Whole. More simply put, if a Witch cannot hex, a Witch cannot heal. You have to own all of yourself as a Witch including all of what has been assigned to the dark. That doesn't mean you have to hex or make choices to harm etc. It means embracing and accepting the knowledge that you can do these things - if you so choose. My Shadow is me. I am capable of everything that society demands gets shoved into the dark. I have accepted that terrifying dance on the cutting edge and for me, having also dealt with depression for years, there is no room on that edge for a partner.

I would also add being very familiar with astrology that describing yourself as half one sign and half another is a terrible simplification of the profound depths and intricate diversity of which you as a human being are capable. If you do choose to use the language of astrology to describe yourself, please remember that there is a minimum of 18 placements in a standard Western astrology natal chart. Their patterning within the overall chart, relationships, symbolism all combine to produce a far more layered and useful interpretation, if one wishes to use the language that way. Mind you, no chart can ever tell you what or who you are or should be. Like any divination system, using astrology can only give you symbolic clues that enable you to make subconscious connections regarding events in this incarnation or past lives (which is how I tend to use it this past decade). If you do choose to use the symbolic language of astrology to describe yourself however, the Descendant is where the Shadow is said to be best interpreted.

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« Reply #8: July 02, 2011, 01:42:24 pm »

My Shadow is me. I am capable of everything that society demands gets shoved into the dark. I have accepted that terrifying dance on the cutting edge and for me, having also dealt with depression for years, there is no room on that edge for a partner.

Pretty much this, for me. Or at least, it's what I'm aspiring to be. I went through a phase when I was younger of compartmentalising different aspects of my personality, treating the "darker" sides as a separate entity, and I am glad now that I stopped doing this. In my mind, there's a difference between being a multi-faceted person and actually consciously dividing myself into fragments, to the detriment of myself. (And it didn't help my depression, either.)
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« Reply #9: July 02, 2011, 05:41:41 pm »


I would also add being very familiar with astrology that describing yourself as half one sign and half another is a terrible simplification of the profound depths and intricate diversity of which you as a human being are capable. If you do choose to use the language of astrology to describe yourself, please remember that there is a minimum of 18 placements in a standard Western astrology natal chart. Their patterning within the overall chart, relationships, symbolism all combine to produce a far more layered and useful interpretation, if one wishes to use the language that way. Mind you, no chart can ever tell you what or who you are or should be. Like any divination system, using astrology can only give you symbolic clues that enable you to make subconscious connections regarding events in this incarnation or past lives (which is how I tend to use it this past decade). If you do choose to use the symbolic language of astrology to describe yourself however, the Descendant is where the Shadow is said to be best interpreted.

Amber


I really liked your post - I would like to add that the 8. and 12. houses also tend to focus on the shadow sides, the taboos, the parts we don't want the world to know about, the talents we suppress in ourselves (yes there are positive parts in the shadow - e.g. I have a tendency to avoid my caring side with my sun in Cancer in the 8.).

About the myriad of placements, yes - I agree - but I've found there is also a tendency for a chart to repeat itself, like fractals giving the same pattern over and over both on the larger scales (like sun/moon/ascendant placements), the middle scales (planetary placements and aspects) and even minor scales like asteroids and stars. So we can point to a cluster (or maybe 2-3 clusters for several aspects of the self) and say 'this is the pattern, the _theme_ of my life. Certainly there will be modifications, a small cluster you rarely come up against for example, some planet that sings out against the main themes, but these are major layers of interpretation which will be the main effect most of the time.

I'll take the freedom to use my own chart as an example;
My first main theme is the plutonian - I have several planets in the 8., scorpio ascendant as part of a stellium, and all these in aspect to each other and to pluto.
The second main theme is moon/saturn conjunct as the apex of a t-squ with uranus and chiron. (It's also on the asc/desc axis). On my good days I feel the first theme as my personal sense of power, exploration and fearlessness, on the bad ones I feel the second, as the conflict between security and freedom, law and chaos, authority and independence.
These are the big clusters of my personality and life. I move within them, I work with them, sometimes I can even turn them around and make serious improvements. They are not necessarily in opposition to each other, they simply touch on different sides of me. But there are also other planets and placements which make themselves known at particular times and events. Mars and Jupiter in my worklife, Mercury about my writing, etc, etc. These are the minor themes, which I don't see much.
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