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Author Topic: Starting over and re-finding my path  (Read 18165 times)
catherine
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« Reply #15: July 04, 2011, 12:54:22 pm »

I've thought about walking away from religion permanently as well but that doesn't work, because I have a continued interest in Paganism. And I want to follow something. I don't feel connected to the Egyptian pantheon at all, and I feel awkward at best praying to Zeus. Odin and his bunch don't seem to care either way.

Hi outlaw393,
Like many people here, I'm seeing a recurring theme in your posts. It's clear to me that you are really struggling with all of this, and I do sympathize. But, like many other people, I have to ask you exactly what you expect from the various deities that you've tried to contact. If I understood your expectations, I might be able to give you some useful advice.

You've said that you believe Odin and his bunch aren't interested in you. I don't know Odin at all, so I can't speak from direct experience, but it seems to me, saying that you don't believe in Him at all, but then turning around and saying that you do the next day (or week), then changing your mind repeatedly isn't really very conducive to building a relationship with Him.

I look at it a lot like any other relationship. Lets say, I meet someone I'd like to hang out with or get to know a little better. This person calls me one day, but I'm out. This person leaves a message, but I've been so busy (for whatever reason) that I haven't had a chance to call them back for a few days. Then, this person decides that because they didn't hear from me right away, I wasn't worth the time and energy to get to know. A few months go by and this person calls me up again and wants to hang out. I can't right then because I'm working or whatever. This person gets pissed and writes me off again. After this happens a few times, I would be really frustrated with this person and I'd probably tell them to stop calling me because I shouldn't be expected to be at the beck and call of someone I barely know.

Quote
However, my altar has Zeus and Artemis on it, so I'll probably go that way again and be Hellenic.

Why? Just because you have images of Greek gods available to you, doesn't necessarily mean you should be Hellenic. It's like me saying that I'm going to be BFFs with my next door neighbor just because she's there. We have absolutely nothing in common with each other beyond the fact that we rent from the same landlady. No shared interests or life experiences that I'm aware of, nothing. We are friendly, we say hello and sometimes chat about the gardens or whatever, but we aren't friends and we never will be. However, even if we had felt any kind of connection when we met, it would have still taken time to build a strong, mutually beneficial relationship. It probably wouldn't have happened in the space of a few weeks, or even months. It's not that it couldn't happen that fast, but strong, intimate, connections usually take more time.

Even if we did become best friends, that could always change as we grow and develop new interests. Changing priorities, goals and needs can affect relationships as well.

I guess what I'm trying say is, if you do in fact want to have a meaningful relationship with a God/dess, pantheon or what have you, it takes time, understanding and commitment on your part. If you really don't know what direction you want to go in, then take your time figuring it out. Like many other people have said, this sort of thing can take years.

Personally, I think you're putting way to much pressure on yourself to believe in something and to fit into one religion or another. You've ended up bouncing all over the place without giving yourself an opportunity to explore anything in depth. You're getting frustrated by the lack of connection, when you haven't given any one thing enough time to actually make a real connection.

Now, you might think I'm being critical or unfriendly. If so, then all I can say is, like everyone else who's responded to these posts over the last week or so, I really am trying to help and I really do hope that you get it all sorted out.

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