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Author Topic: Starting over and re-finding my path  (Read 18161 times)
catherine
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« Reply #30: July 04, 2011, 05:31:00 pm »

And yeah, I expect the gods to at least *attempt* to contact me. If they want me to follow them - they would come to me through a dream or some sort of sign. Obviously if I receive no signs, it's best to assume they aren't interested and continue along. It's like placing a phone call and leaving a message. Obviously if someone doesn't answer the phone, I either assume they're not there (which is impossible for a deity) or that they're not interested. But I leave a message anyways. Now if my phone call isn't returned, I move on. I'm mortal. I don't have all eternity to wait for them. It's like, I'm not going to be on this Earth forever. I want something meaningful now, before it's too late. Gods that don't want me, I feel like I wasted all this time on them. Time I can't get back.

Okay, since you're going with my phone call analogy, maybe the time hasn't been right to call you back. Or maybe your line was busy because you were talking to someone else. Or maybe you didn't hear the phone ring because you were in the shower. Or maybe you've accidentally turned off your phone. Or maybe your phone is broken because you got really frustrated and threw it against the wall. My point is, there could be many reasons why you aren't feeling the presence of a God/dess.

IMO, it's actually very rare that any deities actually want humans to follow them. Sure, thwapage can happen and has happened to a lot of us here at TC. But overall, I think a God/dess only makes that kind of contact if the person is a good candidate to do a certain kind of work for that God/dess. For the most part, I don't think they really care. Now, if we believe that working with/for them will be beneficial to us in some way, it's our responsibility to approach them and put in the time and energy to get their attention. That means making the sacrifices, paying the honors, and proving that we are, in fact, worth paying attention to.

You spoke of expecting some sort of sign. It's possible that the signs are there, but you aren't able to interpret them as such because you have a very specific idea about what they should be. The signs might not be quite as obvious as a dream where they speak to you directly. Signs can be very subtle, like reoccurring themes that come up in an internet search when you're looking for something else, or maybe a kind of bird, bug or animal that's showing up wherever you go. Also, I would ask if you've been given a sure sign that any of these deities really aren't interested in you? What's that saying? Absence of proof isn't proof of absence... or something like that.

Sure, it's possible that you're right and these deities really aren't interested in you. That actually happened to me quite recently. There's nothing wrong with moving on. However, I don't see you doing that. What I see is you saying that you'll settle for Wicca or just do X, or follow ____, without any real belief that it will be fulfilling for you, and without any real commitment on your part. You seem to be just going through the motions. And yet, you expect to have a God/dess give you a commitment. IMO, you've got it backward.

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Honestly I feel there's no point in spending YEARS trying to "earn the attention of the divine". I think it would be easier in that case then to just walk away and be agnostic. I'm sick and tired of putting in work and study for YEARS and not getting any results out of it.

What kind of results are you looking for? Dreams, visions, Odin showing up plain as day in your room, something else?

Personally, I think your expectations are too high. Most people never have the kind of interaction with their Gods that I think you're looking for. Myself included. I can tell you, I've been devoted to Juno for 5 years now and She has never spoken to me in dreams or visions. I think I've heard Her voice in my head maybe once and that was during a time of severe stress and grief. It could have easily been my imagination. However, that doesn't change the fact that I know She's there. I believe She hears me and helps me out when I need it. I can't point to any one experience that was proof of that, it's just a sort of knowing.

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Being fed up tends to affect how I feel about spending even more time trying to court gods that don't seem to care either way. Those are years I can't get back

I don't exactly know what to say to that. If you've given up, then what kind of input or ideas were you looking for in this thread? I'm asking honestly, no snark intended, I'm just not sure what you're looking for from the rest of us since everything we've offered has been rejected.
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« Reply #31: July 04, 2011, 05:31:42 pm »

Or, the machine screwed up, or they couldn't hear your number, or they had five million other things to do and only answer repeated calls.

I've done all of the above with phone & e-mail messages.  Roll Eyes

Yep, this too!  

And some gods, if you keep pestering them, will pull away even more.  Perhaps to teach you lesson.   

 
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« Reply #32: July 04, 2011, 06:01:58 pm »

And in response to another poster, yes. Odin knows me intimately - because he's a GOD - not a man. Being Norse, I'm sure Odin has been with my family and ancestors for ages. Hence how he might know me.

I'm sorry, I don't understand this statement. My family is Roman Catholic, has been forever. Both of my grandparents came here from Italy, but that certainly doesn't mean that Jesus or any of the Saints know me even a little bit. By the same token, I feel fairly safe in saying that Juno didn't know anything about my Gram, because my Gram never worshiped her.

In addition to that, I have a Cherokee great, great grandmother on my mother's side. That doesn't mean that any Cherokee gods or spirits know anything about me. I've never reached out to them, so how would they know me?

Is this something specific to Norse heritage?Or is Heathenry the traditional religion of your family? 

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« Reply #33: July 04, 2011, 06:13:24 pm »

And in response to another poster, yes. Odin knows me intimately - because he's a GOD - not a man. Being Norse, I'm sure Odin has been with my family and ancestors for ages. Hence how he might know me.

Errr okay I think you're confusing the relationships that non-judeo christian peoples and faiths have with their deities with the idea of an omnipresent / omniscient deity that sees and judges everything you do and are.

They are not the same.
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« Reply #34: July 04, 2011, 07:46:07 pm »

Personally, I think your expectations are too high. Most people never have the kind of interaction with their Gods that I think you're looking for.

I had that kind of interaction with a god before - namely when I was christian.

I don't know how you're trying to phone Odin, so to speak, but if you''re bound and determined for a personal relationship: have you tried a different method and seeing where that goes? I'm thinking a full evocation instead of prayers, or a guided meditation instead of dream work. Something more direct than offerings.

No clue how to do a "full evocation" or a guided meditation - alone. It's a matter of not knowing how to go about it.
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« Reply #35: July 04, 2011, 07:49:24 pm »

Errr okay I think you're confusing the relationships that non-judeo christian peoples and faiths have with their deities with the idea of an omnipresent / omniscient deity that sees and judges everything you do and are.

They are not the same.

I'm quite aware how traditional heathens view their gods, as mortal and imperfect. I don't think they're perfect, I just don't see any god as mortal. Odin might not know EVERYTHING per say, he just knows me. I'm not sure how, I suppose that's part of the mystery.

This isn't related to the quote above, but recently a goddess made herself visible to me. I'm not sure why, previous to the dream I had never seen her before, nonetheless heard of her.
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« Reply #36: July 04, 2011, 07:53:09 pm »

I'm quite aware how traditional heathens view their gods, as mortal and imperfect. I don't think they're perfect, I just don't see any god as mortal. Odin might not know EVERYTHING per say, he just knows me. I'm not sure how, I suppose that's part of the mystery.

This isn't related to the quote above, but recently a goddess made herself visible to me. I'm not sure why, previous to the dream I had never seen her before, nonetheless heard of her.

Then WHY aren't you pursuing her???
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« Reply #37: July 04, 2011, 08:41:36 pm »

I'm quite aware how traditional heathens view their gods, as mortal and imperfect. I don't think they're perfect, I just don't see any god as mortal. Odin might not know EVERYTHING per say, he just knows me. I'm not sure how, I suppose that's part of the mystery.

This isn't related to the quote above, but recently a goddess made herself visible to me. I'm not sure why, previous to the dream I had never seen her before, nonetheless heard of her.

Odin sees with his missing eye. The one in Mimir's well?

He also makes use of his ravens, Huginn and Muninn.

Or he might sit on Hlidskjalf and look out.

Being mortal is one of the important aspects of the heathen gods and an important concept in the worldview. If it doesn't sit right with you than  I would suggest, again, that heathenry may not be to your tastes.
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« Reply #38: July 04, 2011, 08:50:59 pm »

Then WHY aren't you pursuing her???

I've done research. I figured out her name. I figured out where she came from and what she is. Supposedly however she's "evil" and a "child eater". Not too pretty. lol.

I have to figure out WHY she contacted me. Not sure how. In the dream I wouldn't even get closer to her. I wasn't sure what to make of a woman that was half snake. Luckily, I don't fear snakes.  Cool

http://www.wiccantogether.com/group/greekmythology/forum/topics/greek-monsters
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamia_%28mythology%29

There's a few links to pages about her. I've never dealt with anything remotely like this. So I'm waiting to proceed. Waiting for what? I'm not sure exactly. As I said, I've never really felt any connection to any female deity.
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« Reply #39: July 04, 2011, 08:55:34 pm »

I've done research. I figured out her name. I figured out where she came from and what she is. Supposedly however she's "evil" and a "child eater". Not too pretty. lol.

I have to figure out WHY she contacted me. Not sure how. In the dream I wouldn't even get closer to her. I wasn't sure what to make of a woman that was half snake. Luckily, I don't fear snakes.  Cool

http://www.wiccantogether.com/group/greekmythology/forum/topics/greek-monsters
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamia_%28mythology%29

There's a few links to pages about her. I've never dealt with anything remotely like this. So I'm waiting to proceed. Waiting for what? I'm not sure exactly. As I said, I've never really felt any connection to any female deity.

I suggest you pursue her then since clearly none of our suggestions and advice are to your tastes.
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« Reply #40: July 04, 2011, 08:59:20 pm »

I suggest you pursue her then since clearly none of our suggestions and advice are to your tastes.

There has to be a REASON she contacted me. The biggest theory I have is to pull me back toward the Greek pantheon. And of all things, a demon, who is half snake and eats children? I'm sure that evil snake child killer thing is false, but that's according to greek mythology.

I don't generally deal with or pursue goddesses. I don't follow any and I don't have a relationship with any.
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« Reply #41: July 04, 2011, 09:00:20 pm »

There has to be a REASON she contacted me. The biggest theory I have is to pull me back toward the Greek pantheon. And of all things, a demon, who is half snake and eats children? I'm sure that evil snake child killer thing is false, but that's according to greek mythology.

I don't generally deal with or pursue goddesses. I don't follow any and I don't have a relationship with any.

Because... they're female?
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« Reply #42: July 04, 2011, 09:05:34 pm »

There has to be a REASON she contacted me. The biggest theory I have is to pull me back toward the Greek pantheon. And of all things, a demon, who is half snake and eats children? I'm sure that evil snake child killer thing is false, but that's according to greek mythology.

I don't generally deal with or pursue goddesses. I don't follow any and I don't have a relationship with any.

I don't think gods always contact us specifically. I think the gods are "abstracts of the spiritual forces" and that occasionally we get an impression of these that pass us by or move across our lives. If we feel these, we seek them out, and we progress from there. But there doesn't always have to be a black and white reason.
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« Reply #43: July 04, 2011, 09:18:41 pm »

There has to be a REASON she contacted me. The biggest theory I have is to pull me back toward the Greek pantheon. And of all things, a demon, who is half snake and eats children? I'm sure that evil snake child killer thing is false, but that's according to greek mythology.

I don't generally deal with or pursue goddesses. I don't follow any and I don't have a relationship with any.

Now that's ridiculous. You complain that you can't forge a connection with a deity etc. Then when one LITERALLY appears to you, you decide to...wait? I'm assuming you're referring to Medusa or one of her sisters, in which case while she may not be considered a deity it's likely she was a spirit/creature of power and not that far off.

Why wouldn't you pursue a goddess?? Seriously? Why not obviously pursuing Odin didn't go too well for you.

Honestly I really don't know what you want. You asked for advice/guidance/whatever, you get it, you argue and deny it, then you whip out this thing about a new goddess and basically change the entire conversation.

What is your actual goal here??
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Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear. - Thomas Jefferson

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. - Thomas Jefferson
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« Reply #44: July 04, 2011, 09:28:11 pm »

No clue how to do a "full evocation" or a guided meditation - alone. It's a matter of not knowing how to go about it.

To evoke a god is to invite them into a space - in (neo?)Wiccan conception, a cast circle. (Versus invocation, which draws a god into a person - Drawing down the Moon, possession, etc.) To keep going with the phone metaphor, it's actually referred to as "calling" the deity. There are lots of examples online for Wiccan God/Goddess calls, including in Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner; read a few and you can come up with your own.

It's not hard, really! List off some qualities of the god you want to call, use some of their epithets/other names, invite them into the circle, and make it pretty. The most important part is the pull, the desire to bring the god into the place. Just like any other magic. How much you notice the god showing up will depend on how you sense energy; myself, I learned to sense gods leaving well before I learned to feel them enter or a circle go up.

For a solo guided meditation, you can a) memorise the steps you take and then run the journey/meditation off of memory, b) record them yourself onto an mp3 or cassette, or c) look on youtube for a suitable journey to follow with. A standard "journey to meet a god" meditation would probably suit, as long as it speaks to you.


There has to be a REASON she contacted me. The biggest theory I have is to pull me back toward the Greek pantheon. And of all things, a demon, who is half snake and eats children? I'm sure that evil snake child killer thing is false, but that's according to greek mythology.

Are you sure it's (a) Lamia? There are other legends about half-snake creatures, including Melusine (a spirit of fresh water, who in legends married a human man). As awesome as TC is, it doesn't hold all knowledge in its servers, so you might want to spend more time looking for human-snake hybrids before making a tentative ID.

And even if she is Lamia, don't put too much emphasis on Wiki/internet sources - The Morrigan has an image as a terrible, awe-ful goddess covered in blood and death, and Kali wears a necklace of skulls. Both are excellent protectors for their followers, with other lessons than just "Rrrragh bloodlust." If you want to move forward with anyone, Odin or the new appearance alike, you can't make assumptions about a deity/being based on a single dream and godchecker (etc).
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