Goddess vision in a dream. Who is She?

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[nemesisfirestorm]

This may not be the place to post, so feel free to move it, if needed.

I've mentioned elsewhere (I think, could've been pm) that the last few months I've had sleep paralysis.  I start to fall asleep and my body paralyses as it would when asleep, but before I've actually fallen asleep.  Been to the doc, so that's all fine.  I'm not on any meds or anything and am no more stressed than normal.

Now, recently when it happened I got really stressed and managed to wake myself, then fell asleep and started dreaming.  I don't know what it was about, though I can picture the location really well in my head, like a memory.  It was lucid to the point that there was a really scary woman in it and I didn't like it, so because I knew I was dreaming I managed to wake myself, which I do on a regular basis.

She was scary because she was looking mad at me, as if she was screaming, but she didn't need to scream at me, I knew that.  When I woke up I was a bit shaken, but I was ok.  I rolled over and started to drift again and was hit by paralysis and the next thing I knew she was at my window.  It was really odd, she wasn't full size (about 3 1/2 - 4 ft) and was hovering by the window sill, inside.  She didn't say or do anything, but she was there, and I was awake. 

My thing for knowing I'm awake is to pick up my phone, check the time and make a note on it to read the next day, just to confirm it.

So, is there a goddess that fits the bill?  I'm guessing probably a few...  She was really frightening, wild hair, longish, dark, flicking out around her shoulders, not quite matted or dreds, but not far off.  She didn't do anything but I had the impression she was hissing at me like a cat or a goose would.  I couldn't see her face clearly because the moon was bright and she was a sillouhette, but I got the impression she was glaring at me.

I have recently found Brighid, who I think I should be following, but I really don't feel it was Her.  Brighid seems to be a lot more patient and understanding, with me at least.  This lady felt like she was an irate mother of ten, telling me to get "it" (whatever "it" is) sorted.  Basically a get a grip moment.

Any ideas?  Was it a goddess do you think?  Could it just have been a mad spirit?  Was it totally my (vivid) imagination?  I do know for a fact I was awake though.  Should I just be flashing my membership cards again?

Thanks in advance

[Aster Breo]

I have recently found Brighid, who I think I should be following, but I really don't feel it was Her.  Brighid seems to be a lot more patient and understanding, with me at least.  This lady felt like she was an irate mother of ten, telling me to get "it" (whatever "it" is) sorted.  Basically a get a grip moment.

I can't tell you who it was, or even if it was a deity or a banshee-like creature.  But I *can* tell you in wasn't Brighid.

Maybe the Morrigan?  I've had no direct contect with her, but many others here have.

[rose]

o, is there a goddess that fits the bill?  I'm guessing probably a few...  She was really frightening, wild hair, longish, dark, flicking out around her shoulders, not quite matted or dreds, but not far off.  She didn't do anything but I had the impression she was hissing at me like a cat or a goose would.  I couldn't see her face clearly because the moon was bright and she was a sillouhette, but I got the impression she was glaring at me.

 oh you lucky thing...one of the Dark Goddesses wants you
This kind of thing (not sleep paralysis, but intense, vivid dreaming about a particular goddess) started happening to me about 20 years ago, quite a while before I was ready to come back to being pagan. I didn't know who she was for a long time, but mine turned out to be Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction and creation. She is *really scary looking in her Dark aspect, and when I first started dreaming about her, I couldn't figger out how something so scary could make me feel so safe and protected and *know me so well. But she does.

I would suggest you do some research of images about Dark Goddesses from a lot of different traditions and see what happens. I can tell you that I was thoroughly gobsmacked the first time I saw a picture of Kali (years after i had been having the dreams and visions, off and on) and went "oh THAT'S the one!!" I have no current affiliation with Hinduism and am not particularly interested in it, although I am starting in a Kali teaching circle next month, I am very excited about that. They call us for Their own reasons.

I am sure She will reveal Herself (whoever She is) to you as you become ready for Her.

[SunflowerP]

I can't tell you who it was, or even if it was a deity or a banshee-like creature.  But I *can* tell you in wasn't Brighid.

Maybe the Morrigan?  I've had no direct contect with her, but many others here have.

I second Ivy's whole post.  There's nothing Brigid-like about this.  In many ways, it sounds more, to me, like one of the Fae than like a deity - lots of sorts, from many cultures, possible, but "banshee" is definitely one of those possibles.  But, I wouldn't rule out tM, either.

Sunflower

[nemesisfirestorm]

I can't tell you who it was, or even if it was a deity or a banshee-like creature.  But I *can* tell you in wasn't Brighid.

Maybe the Morrigan?  I've had no direct contect with her, but many others here have.

I second Ivy's whole post.  There's nothing Brigid-like about this.  In many ways, it sounds more, to me, like one of the Fae than like a deity - lots of sorts, from many cultures, possible, but "banshee" is definitely one of those possibles.  But, I wouldn't rule out tM, either.

Sunflower

Hmm, interesting, the word bansee was what I first thought when I was going over it in my head the other day, and tM was what came to me when I was going over it in my head to try and put it legibly enough to post the question.  I will have to look in to this.  I just hate researching from scratch on the net because there's so much crap out there, it's good to have a base to start from, from people who know what they're on about.

I didn't think it was Brighid.  Had She been different, and pleasant, I would have thought perhaps that was Her first calling of me, because it was months ago, but even considering the possibility made me very uncomfortable.

So, we've sorted out who it's *not* for definite, that just leaves, ooh, gazillions more to choose from...

[nemesisfirestorm]

oh you lucky thing...one of the Dark Goddesses wants you
This kind of thing (not sleep paralysis, but intense, vivid dreaming about a particular goddess) started happening to me about 20 years ago, quite a while before I was ready to come back to being pagan. I didn't know who she was for a long time, but mine turned out to be Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction and creation. She is *really scary looking in her Dark aspect, and when I first started dreaming about her, I couldn't figger out how something so scary could make me feel so safe and protected and *know me so well. But she does.

Eek!  Lol!  I'm definitely going to have to look in to this more.  I'm going to need a great big book just to write out my to do lists in...  *eyes up son's school books*

It wasn't just the scary looking bit, though whoever it was was not friendly, it was the feeling I got from her too, makes me shudder just thinking about it!

[FierFlye]

I rolled over and started to drift again and was hit by paralysis and the next thing I knew she was at my window.  It was really odd, she wasn't full size (about 3 1/2 - 4 ft) and was hovering by the window sill, inside.  She didn't say or do anything, but she was there, and I was awake.

Have you ever heard of 'Old Hag' syndrome caused by sleep paralysis?  It seems many people experiencing sleep paralysis simultaneosly have hallucinations of seeing scary old women.  There are a bunch of personal stories here:  http://tinyurl.com/3yys6n

Just something to consider.

[RandallS]

Any ideas?  Was it a goddess do you think?  Could it just have been a mad spirit?  Was it totally my (vivid) imagination?  I do know for a fact I was awake though.  Should I just be flashing my membership cards again?

Sleep paralysis is known for producing feelings that one is being attacked by a spirit of some type -- generally and "old hag" but sometimes a demon or the like. This would be my first guess as to what is going on.

[nemesisfirestorm]

Have you ever heard of 'Old Hag' syndrome caused by sleep paralysis?  It seems many people experiencing sleep paralysis simultaneosly have hallucinations of seeing scary old women.  There are a bunch of personal stories here:  http://tinyurl.com/3yys6n

Just something to consider.

No, I didn't know about that, that's interesting.  I knew a bit about hallucinations, I used to have a friend who suffered from narcolepsy and cataplexy, but it was in the days before there was much on the net so I never really knew the details.  He used to see goblins and snakes, both climbing the walls...  Ick...

I also knew that some people would say it felt like someone was sitting on them, though I didn't feel this.

I'll have a look at that link now.

I did wonder about it being an hallucination, but pretty much dismissed the idea in my head.  Now that I know it's common to see an old hag it puts an entirely different slant on it.  Hmmm....

See, my brain is doing it again, going for the mad before allowing the rational side to kick in...

[joshuatenpenny]

Have you ever heard of 'Old Hag' syndrome caused by sleep paralysis?  It seems many people experiencing sleep paralysis simultaneously have hallucinations of seeing scary old women.  There are a bunch of personal stories here:  http://tinyurl.com/3yys6n

Just something to consider.

Something else to consider -

Just because some folks have interpreted these experiences as "hallucinations" produced by the (presumably) physiologically based condition of sleep paralysis, doesn't mean they are right. They are interpreting events based on their own frame of reference. I know where the general public draws the line between "real" and "hallucination", and I don't agree with them. I would consider the most useful data to come from folks whose frame of references includes both paralyzing night-time visitations by non-corporeal entities, as well as paralyzing hallucinations of the same, and can describe what differentiates one from the other.

For instance, folks who do dream-journeying and whatnot often have a few personal "checks" which differentiate illusory from real experiences while dreaming. My partner checks the auras of the entities/people - the dream-people don't have auras, real ones do. Other people find that they can't read or tell time in conventional dreams, but can in a reality-based dream experience.


Also, getting in to a state where the body "sleeps" (and is outside of conscious control) while the mind remains conscious is recognized as a technique by some yogic traditions. I think Iyengar talks about it in Light on Life, but I've seen it a few places. Some quick checking online for non-yogic methods turns up the practice of "Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming". I hadn't heard of it happening spontaneously before, but I'm not surprised. I think that just about anyplace the consciousness can go intentionally, it can (in some people, on some occasions) go spontaneously, and vice versa.

-- Joshua

[nemesisfirestorm]

Something else to consider -

Just because some folks have interpreted these experiences as "hallucinations" produced by the (presumably) physiologically based condition of sleep paralysis, doesn't mean they are right. They are interpreting events based on their own frame of reference. I know where the general public draws the line between "real" and "hallucination", and I don't agree with them. I would consider the most useful data to come from folks whose frame of references includes both paralyzing night-time visitations by non-corporeal entities, as well as paralyzing hallucinations of the same, and can describe what differentiates one from the other.

More interesting stuff, and now I'm even more confused as to what it was!

To me, at the time and even now, it was real, hence discounting initially the hallucination idea.  Then as I said, hearing it is very common made me re-think.  Now...  I don't know what to think!

Like I said in the original post, my way of making sure that I really have woken up in the night is to check the time and make a note somewhere, normally on my phone as it's always to hand.  If it's not there in the morning then I know I didn't wake up!

I have also had a similar-ish experience of a man calling me (by my full name, not the shortened version, nobody does that, except my mother when she's cross with me ) from the door way, and there were a number of things that were different in the morning, i.e. I got up and followed him (he felt very friendly, didn't occur to me at the time that there really shouldn't be a strange man in my room!) but he had disappeared.  I checked the locks and windows and they were fine.  I then turned off the bathroom light, which was normally left on all night for my son, but as it was about 3 in the morning I didn't think he'd be up again before dawn.  The light was still off when I got up in the morning, which showed I had been up and about.

That one was in no way frightening though...  And there was no paralysis either.  Also, the man looked like I could have physically touched him had he been within reach, he was solid.

I'll have to have a read up on that wake induced lucid dreaming now too...

[Dania]

Maybe the Morrigan?  I've had no direct contect with her, but many others here have.

As one who works with Morrigu frequently I would say it's possible, but not very likely, that the goddess/spirit you saw was her.

[Juni]

Any ideas?  Was it a goddess do you think?  Could it just have been a mad spirit?  Was it totally my (vivid) imagination?  I do know for a fact I was awake though.  Should I just be flashing my membership cards again?

My gut instinct says Cailleach Bheur, whom in Scottish tradition is somewhat 'paired' with Brighid as seasonal thing. I can say it doesn't have any likeness to the Mhorrígan I know.

[Purplewitch]

My gut instinct says Cailleach Bheur, whom in Scottish tradition is somewhat 'paired' with Brighid as seasonal thing. I can say it doesn't have any likeness to the Mhorrígan I know.

Oddly a Cailleach was one of my gut reactions but I dn't trust my reactions just now.

[Aster Breo]

Oddly a Cailleach was one of my gut reactions but I dn't trust my reactions just now.

That feels right to me, too, FWIW.

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