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Author Topic: Starting Young  (Read 4546 times)
AIONIA
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« Topic Start: October 12, 2007, 10:21:06 pm »

Hello All,

 
      With the increasing trend of "wiccans" and "pagans" beginning to follow their different paths earlier and earlier, often without supervision, I feel the need to wonder how many of these will continue into adulthood as sane, reasonable human-beings and remain a member of their chosen way.

    I know I got started early, I started wondering when I was about fourteen and started practicing when I was six-teen. Unfortunatly, I had no real mentors to guide me along, except for O' Invisible One, who I avoided like the plauge. I really don't think I was ready, I understand things happen for a reason, and I love my relationship with Apollo (Let me rephrase that, right now I'm tired, grumpy, and severely disappointed with my own abilities and will-power; atleast, I'm not running away from Apollo anymore. ) But I don't think I was really ready.

    Even now at eighteen, when most young people are out with friends and having fun, I, by choice, am at home studying (sometimes) for both my religion/divination and college. But having all this pressure and responsibility is not fun. There are days when I'm arguing with my mentors, and grandparents, I wish I could just tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine and go off and have myself a good, petty sulk-fest. But then that would hurt their feelings and upset them and so I don't I put up with it until I break then we begin again. It's a horrible cycle, but until I get my own home, and can be more open with my spirituality I don't forsee any great change.

I'm not a masochist, and I would love to be one of those social butterflies, but that's not my lot. And I know that my hardwork now will pay off later, it's just hard when I don't get to "see" the results.

   But what about other teen "others"? Who do they have to look to and what are their chances to have a future as a well-balanced pagan adult?
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« Reply #1: October 12, 2007, 11:20:42 pm »

Hello All,

 
      With the increasing trend of "wiccans" and "pagans" beginning to follow their different paths earlier and earlier, often without supervision, I feel the need to wonder how many of these will continue into adulthood as sane, reasonable human-beings and remain a member of their chosen way.

    I know I got started early, I started wondering when I was about fourteen and started practicing when I was six-teen. Unfortunatly, I had no real mentors to guide me along, except for O' Invisible One, who I avoided like the plauge. I really don't think I was ready, I understand things happen for a reason, and I love my relationship with Apollo (Let me rephrase that, right now I'm tired, grumpy, and severely disappointed with my own abilities and will-power; atleast, I'm not running away from Apollo anymore. ) But I don't think I was really ready.

    Even now at eighteen, when most young people are out with friends and having fun, I, by choice, am at home studying (sometimes) for both my religion/divination and college. But having all this pressure and responsibility is not fun. There are days when I'm arguing with my mentors, and grandparents, I wish I could just tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine and go off and have myself a good, petty sulk-fest. But then that would hurt their feelings and upset them and so I don't I put up with it until I break then we begin again. It's a horrible cycle, but until I get my own home, and can be more open with my spirituality I don't forsee any great change.

I'm not a masochist, and I would love to be one of those social butterflies, but that's not my lot. And I know that my hardwork now will pay off later, it's just hard when I don't get to "see" the results.

   But what about other teen "others"? Who do they have to look to and what are their chances to have a future as a well-balanced pagan adult?
Hi,
  I can see that you are a well-mannered, determined, and bright teen, and I do understand where you are coming from. But, I think you are trying a little too hard.
 
  Your own spirituality, religion, practice, etc... should be an enjoyment. Don't rush your experience with your own faith. Let it develope on it own, when you are ready....spiritually and mentally. There are many Pagans that started out young, I was one of them. I know people who started out younger than me, some turned out to be (what I would call) great Pagans, but most importantly great people...and of course some turned out to be just idiots playing.

  As you grow and change so does your spirituality, which is important. Stagnation is the worst thing that can happen to people. We are all meant to grow and change, if we didn't humans would have died out a long time ago.

  As for the new young people finding Paganism...have hope for them. Some do have mentors, some are being raised Pagan by their families, some (like yourself) find places like this, where they can talk to others, ask questions, and find information. And some start out with simple books, begin to explore the religion and take it one step at a time. Of course there are going to be set backs, sometimes that is the best way to learn, but they will figure it out if they are meant to be on this path or whatever path they do end up choosing.

Sarah
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« Reply #2: October 12, 2007, 11:41:44 pm »

      With the increasing trend of "wiccans" and "pagans" beginning to follow their different paths earlier and earlier, often without supervision, I feel the need to wonder how many of these will continue into adulthood as sane, reasonable human-beings and remain a member of their chosen way.
<snip>
   But what about other teen "others"? Who do they have to look to and what are their chances to have a future as a well-balanced pagan adult?
The numbers are rising, true, but I think that has to do with Paganism having a higher profile, so more youngens are aware it's there.  The early teens are, and have long been, a pretty typical time for spiritual questioning and for exploring interests in "weird stuff" of various sorts; some are just intrigued by the perceived coolness (a different kind of "cool" now than 30 years ago, but otherwise not much different) and get bored and drift away after a few months or a few years, while others are in the early stages of a profound and sustained interest and will stick with it.  (I've stuck with it for 33 years, since I was 12 - and I was "unsupervised" too.)

I'm not worried about how many of them will drop away; those for whom it's the right path will stick, or come back, and those for whom it's not, well, they'll move on and hopefully eventually find what is right for them.

Nor am I worried about their sanity.  While you get a lot of "teenage wack jobs", it's not because youthful exposure to Pagan religions causes problems, it's because adolescence is like that, whatever the teen is interested in.

Sunflower
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« Reply #3: October 13, 2007, 01:23:51 am »

There are days when I'm arguing with my mentors, and grandparents, I wish I could just tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine and go off and have myself a good, petty sulk-fest. But then that would hurt their feelings and upset them and so I don't I put up with it

I don't think you need to let it get that far. Believe me, people (especially adults) are far more resiliant than you give them credit for. If you need to politely insist on time for yourself, then do so. No one wants a grumpy devotee/grandkid.
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« Reply #4: October 13, 2007, 03:52:12 am »


    I know I got started early, I started wondering when I was about fourteen and started practicing when I was six-teen. Unfortunatly, I had no real mentors to guide me along, except for O' Invisible One, who I avoided like the plauge. I really don't think I was ready, I understand things happen for a reason, and I love my relationship with Apollo (Let me rephrase that, right now I'm tired, grumpy, and severely disappointed with my own abilities and will-power; atleast, I'm not running away from Apollo anymore. ) But I don't think I was really ready.

    Even now at eighteen, when most young people are out with friends and having fun, I, by choice, am at home studying (sometimes) for both my religion/divination and college. But having all this pressure and responsibility is not fun. There are days when I'm arguing with my mentors, and grandparents, I wish I could just tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine and go off and have myself a good, petty sulk-fest. But then that would hurt their feelings and upset them and so I don't I put up with it until I break then we begin again. It's a horrible cycle, but until I get my own home, and can be more open with my spirituality I don't forsee any great change.

I'm not a masochist, and I would love to be one of those social butterflies, but that's not my lot. And I know that my hardwork now will pay off later, it's just hard when I don't get to "see" the results.

Holy divine crap, it´s like you´re my twin!

I´m 19 and have been interested in paganism throughout my teen years as well. I have to agree with Figment99- don´t rush anything. For years I was dying to be a ´vessel of the gods´and to have all these cool spiritual experiences everyone else was having. But I had some problems at home, and I never felt safe enough to have a spiritual practice. I just moved out of my house about 10 months ago, and it´s only since I´ve been in a good head space that I´ve been able to have any real connection with anything. I too would like to be a ´social butterfly´, and do all the great things that teens do. But at the end of the day, I´m a google girl with a spiritual side, and when I accept that, it clears the way for the gods and myself.

And I think part of being spiritual is enjoying the journey. The assignment I have right now is something that part of me is pissed off about, but I am just enjoying what I am doing. I´m thankful to have a spiritual connection after wanting for so long. But the secret I´ve found is that I don´t have to want to work with the gods, I have to be willling. The rest is up to Them.

BTW, I´m working with Adonis right now, so if you ever want to have some awesome Greek-flavoured pagan teen chat, please PM me!
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« Reply #5: October 13, 2007, 07:38:17 am »


I'm not a masochist, and I would love to be one of those social butterflies, but that's not my lot. And I know that my hardwork now will pay off later, it's just hard when I don't get to "see" the results.

I'm reminded of myself at that age ... two things. (1) it's not a race, and there might not be a destination. Sometimes the journey is an end in itself. (2) If you try the social whirl, you may find, as I did, that you're bored to tears by it. You may desire the enjoyment that you see them having, but you might not find it in anywhere near the same place. If you're a bookworm, go for it!
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« Reply #6: October 13, 2007, 08:24:22 am »

I'm reminded of myself at that age ... two things. (1) it's not a race, and there might not be a destination. Sometimes the journey is an end in itself. (2) If you try the social whirl, you may find, as I did, that you're bored to tears by it. You may desire the enjoyment that you see them having, but you might not find it in anywhere near the same place. If you're a bookworm, go for it!


Exactly. Reminds me of me too!

I was never a social butterfly, but was the nerdy kid who got straight A's, read the weirdest books, and got accused of being a witch by the local commune (okay so I am, but that is beside the point, they meant in an evil, devil worshipping way  Cheesy).  I grew up in Bible belt territory after all!  I did try acting one summer like all the other kids.  Found out it was NOT for me.  And that some people who are quite capable of getting drunk on one beer, should leave alcohol utterly alone  Cheesy.  Being a social butterfly isnt all it is cracked up to be.  The difference between now and then, frankly, is that I no longer try to fit in.  I am happy  being me Smiley I had to get out on my own, and live life for a while to come to that conclusion though.  So what if I am different, that just makes me special Wink   

    Even now at eighteen, when most young people are out with friends and having fun, I, by choice, am at home studying (sometimes) for both my religion/divination and college. But having all this pressure and responsibility is not fun. There are days when I'm arguing with my mentors, and grandparents, I wish I could just tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine and go off and have myself a good, petty sulk-fest. But then that would hurt their feelings and upset them and so I don't I put up with it until I break then we begin again. It's a horrible cycle, but until I get my own home, and can be more open with my spirituality I don't forsee any great change.

Aionia, you are special too, and what it boils down to, is that you are way more mature in a lot of ways than those other kids.  I know it can be frustrating living in a home where you feel so restricted  ((((HUGS))))  I really do, as I felt the same way.  Just remember this too shall pass, and the nightmare will eventually be over....It is a coming of age rite of passage I think.  My teen years were awful.  I dont have any advice really, except grit your teeth and hang on.  I take it there is no way you can talk to them, or try and get your own place or anything?

HUGS

Gina
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« Reply #7: October 13, 2007, 09:31:20 am »

   But what about other teen "others"? Who do they have to look to and what are their chances to have a future as a well-balanced pagan adult?

Frankly, I think they have about the same chances for a well-balanced future as any other teenager does. Just because a teen is pagan doesn't make them immune to all the weirdness of teenagedom. Things are volatile then, including spirituality.

However, I think natural maturity does have a big role to play. Maturity lends itself to self-discipline, thoughtfulness, determination, and focus, all of which certainly help to keep one's feet on the path. Some teens are just... well... "older" than their peers.

As such, it can lead to a certain isolation, mainly because nobody around you is concerned with the same things you are, nor do they have the same skills or mentality.
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« Reply #8: October 13, 2007, 10:26:54 am »

      With the increasing trend of "wiccans" and "pagans" beginning to follow their different paths earlier and earlier, often without supervision, I feel the need to wonder how many of these will continue into adulthood as sane, reasonable human-beings and remain a member of their chosen way.

I started out younger. Tongue I was 8. Or so. Maybe younger than that. But my mom had Pagan leanings so I don't really count do I?

I know that if I had continued on the path I was on when I was 8 years old, I would NOT be a well balanced adult. After my hiatus from Wicca (of the SRW variety) during which I was a practicing Christian, I tried to get back into Wicca but I could not, it didn't feel "right". I used to say "Christianity warped my brain" but I know that isn't true now...just that the "doctrine" I was attempting to follow didn't make SENSE. Huh I ended up stumbling around somewhere near agnostic.

When I finally found "home" about two years ago...that is when I actually started becoming something resembling a sane adult...resembling at least. Tongue Sanity is still questionable, but I'm no longer *obviously* certifiable. Grin About a year ago, I started doing something resembling serious work and a few months ago, is when I *really* started to buckle down and do something serious with my path.

  Your own spirituality, religion, practice, etc... should be an enjoyment. Don't rush your experience with your own faith. Let it develop on it own, when you are ready....spiritually and mentally. There are many Pagans that started out young, I was one of them. I know people who started out younger than me, some turned out to be (what I would call) great Pagans, but most importantly great people...and of course some turned out to be just idiots playing.

  As you grow and change so does your spirituality, which is important. Stagnation is the worst thing that can happen to people. We are all meant to grow and change, if we didn't humans would have died out a long time ago.

Figment I could NOT have said it better than that!!! You are absolutely right. You need to do these things because you ENJOY doing them. Because you want to. Not because you feel you *have* to.

It's true, I do things because I feel I have to do them, there are times when I don't feel like doing my weekly ritual, or my daily devotions...but I do them anyway, because it is important to me to keep doing them and not "let it slide". However, I'm not pushing myself any harder than I really want to; I don't accept any duties that I do not feel are important, good for me, something I will be able to get some benefit out of, something that I will actually *want* to do for some reason (although enjoyment is relative LOL sometimes doing something is beneficial but not always enjoyable, like physical training.)

You've got your whole life ahead of ya Aiona. Take it easy. Wink You don't need to get everything done all at once.
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« Reply #9: October 14, 2007, 06:06:13 pm »

Like Dania, I was even younger when I started practicing Wicca-- I was around eight-years-old. I have never felt as if it was a chore, or something I was forced to do. I don't believe your faith should feel like that. I am still Wiccan to this day, though I have been going through a rough spot this year and haven't practiced much. I still pray and believe. The Goddess is still in my heart, and that's all I need to know.

If it feels as if you're growing out of your craft, perhaps it really isn't the way for you to be going. Or maybe you just need a break. I've known a lot of pagans that just needed some time off to think. If it gets to that point, though, I really do think something needs to be considered. Being devoted, respecting your faith- that shouldn't be something to complain about.

As for the 'well-balanced pagan' comment- think about Christians. Think of how children are launched into that world, often not by choice, and how their faith changes and forms into something new throughout their lives. Religion sticks with you, regardless of what form it takes. I think that as long as you're comfortable with your faith, that's what atters.
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« Reply #10: October 15, 2007, 12:40:17 am »

I find it notable that you are concerned about the greater good of young pagans in this world. I too started out young and while I cannot say that I'm a completely sane and well balanced adult (frankly I'm not sure such a thing even exists) I cannot lay claim that it was the paganism that did me wrong. I was not a social butterfly because it is not in my nature to be so. In fact I feel that it was my spirituality that helped me through the difficult patches during my teenage years. Although my life may sometimes be nothing more to the Goddess then a sarcastic joke, I know that no matter what her ears will be there to hear me. That I find to be endlessly reassuring.
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« Reply #11: October 15, 2007, 08:45:18 am »



Grateful and AngelAraya,

Please don't forget to use the quote/reply function to reply to posts and leave the quote code intact.  It's important because it helps the rest of us follow the conversation more easily.  (You can find our full quoting policy here.)

Thanks!
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« Reply #12: October 16, 2007, 12:08:06 pm »

I really don't think I was ready, I understand things happen for a reason, and I love my relationship with Apollo (Let me rephrase that, right now I'm tired, grumpy, and severely disappointed with my own abilities and will-power; atleast, I'm not running away from Apollo anymore. ) But I don't think I was really ready.

    Even now at eighteen, when most young people are out with friends and having fun, I, by choice, am at home studying (sometimes) for both my religion/divination and college. But having all this pressure and responsibility is not fun. There are days when I'm arguing with my mentors, and grandparents, I wish I could just tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine and go off and have myself a good, petty sulk-fest. But then that would hurt their feelings and upset them and so I don't I put up with it until I break then we begin again. It's a horrible cycle, but until I get my own home, and can be more open with my spirituality I don't forsee any great change.

You know, if you hadn’t just told me you were eighteen I would have gone on thinking you were much older. I thought you were nicely settled into your twenties at least. You have the curse of being more mature and thoughtful than your years would normally warrant. Sucks, doesn’t it? While the rest of the teenage population is having a good time and goofing off you are thinking about the big stuff and sitting in the corner trying to concentrate over the noise. Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt.

But if you are unhappy with your life and the amount of stuff on your plate then maybe you do need to step back a bit and reevaluate. Sefiru is right in saying that this isn’t a race. You will spend the rest of your life going down your Path, a path that may change course, double-back, and often pause. It’s perfectly acceptable to stop for a rest and to focus on other things, like school and preparing for college. Those are important things in life and running around like a chicken with their head cut off is no fun. Relax a bit and learn to flip the ‘Pagan’ switch off when it’s appropriate.

Quote
   But what about other teen "others"? Who do they have to look to and what are their chances to have a future as a well-balanced pagan adult?

People today have a lot of resources to work with and I think any serious person looking to study Paganism would have the support they need to figure it out eventfully. We have a range of books, public meetings, and online sources like The Cauldron that are available as sounding boards for questions and rants. The infrastructure exists and networking between Pagans is now easier than ever before. It’s just one’s responsibility to seek those sources and allow that information to mean something to them.
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« Reply #13: October 18, 2007, 08:51:31 am »



I started what many people would definitely consider young, and while I think I was ready to start into my own religious thinking, I don't think I as ready as I thought when I started my first year and a day (when I say first, I started my second a while ago now because I didn't think I was ready when my first ended) and didn't really figure it out that I wasn't truly ready until a month or two before it ended. I don't think that there is any inherent risk in being Pagan as a teen, I just think a person needs to know when they're ready to do what. I also think they should make sure to find reliable resources and not "Wicca was invented in 3,000 BC and has been passed down through the generations" b.s., LOL. Cheesy
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« Reply #14: October 18, 2007, 02:24:17 pm »

I also think they should make sure to find reliable resources and not "Wicca was invented in 3,000 BC and has been passed down through the generations" b.s., LOL. Cheesy

I sincerely think that this is the biggest risk with starting young. With other religions, there are many more people in the community to turn to (church, synagogue, mosque, etc) so there is guidance and information readily available. With Paganism, not so much, and a lot of what you do find, is complete B.S. No wonder we have so many 'paper priestesses" with books that teach you can become a third degree whatever in a few short days. Roll Eyes
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