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Author Topic: Question about "roles"...  (Read 2064 times)
elaoin
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« Topic Start: October 26, 2007, 02:02:50 pm »

I just moved out a few months ago with my best friend, and one of the things we decided on early is that he would cook and I would do the dishes (because I'd be more likely to whip up some tasty poison than edible food Cheesy). Now, this seems fair to both of us. However, we do have a dishwasher (thank the gods!) and in my household that meant that each person at *least* rinsed their dish(es) and left them in the sink to be put away, or preferably rinsed them and put them in the dishwasher.

Considering my friend and I have such completely different schedules, I don't think this is all that bad an idea - at least the rinsing of dishes. It can be a while before I get to the dishes to put them away and run the washer (which this next time will be my second load in as many days - they pile up fast here). And today, while rinsing out bowls, I found a wonderful example of *why* I want him to rinse out his dishes.

I don't really know what it once was. But now, it's a nice science experiment, complete with mold cultures that are thriving, and quite a bit of food left for the mold to live off of. I almost dropped the bowl I was holding, which had been resting *in* this particular mess, when I saw it. It's currently set aside for show-and-tell later tonight. Angry

I get we're both bachelors. But I don't want to keep finding presents! Especially when said presents should have just been tossed right away (we have a shortage of spoons, and sometimes use plastic ones). So I came up with three requests and printed it up to post in the kitchen as a reminder for both of us. I'll admit, while I rinse out my dishes, my glasses are another matter - they tend to be forgotten. So a reminder is good for me, too.

Here's what I put down: "Before you put that dish on the counter... Has it been rinsed out? If not, please rinse it. Has any trash that comes with it been tossed? If not, please throw it away. Can it go right in the dishwasher? If so, please put it there. THANK YOU! (with a cheesy smiley in the middle of the thank you, and clip art sprinkled throughout. No reason to be boring!)"

Does this seem fair? Am I trying to get out of some of my duties? Or is it dependent on the circumstances? Huh
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Ocelot
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« Reply #1: October 26, 2007, 02:12:00 pm »

Does this seem fair? Am I trying to get out of some of my duties? Or is it dependent on the circumstances? Huh

I don't think it's getting out of your duties. It's more common courtesy to at least dump the food from dishes before piling them in the sink. I've never been much for signs though, especially if there is only two people living there. I'd be more likely to just tell him he needs to rinse his dishes before dropping them in the sink.

I do have to say though, it sounds like you lucked out on the deal. I know at my house, doing dishes in our dishwasher is way easier and faster than the cooking. Cheesy
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« Reply #2: October 26, 2007, 02:15:50 pm »

Does this seem fair? Am I trying to get out of some of my duties? Or is it dependent on the circumstances? Huh

I think it's fair, considering that due to schedules you simply cannot get to it in reasonable time at times. It's not like you INTENTIONALLY left them on the counter for days!!

I'm not sure how well your room mate will like the sign posted on the wall though. Granted I don't know him, nor do I know the relationship you guys have, but it would bother me.
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elaoin
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« Reply #3: October 26, 2007, 02:41:18 pm »

I think it's fair, considering that due to schedules you simply cannot get to it in reasonable time at times. It's not like you INTENTIONALLY left them on the counter for days!!

I'm not sure how well your room mate will like the sign posted on the wall though. Granted I don't know him, nor do I know the relationship you guys have, but it would bother me.

The only reason I posted the silly thing is I have asked him *many* times to do that. And he just doesn't get it. Sad On the flip side, I have my moments too, where I'm rushing out the door, or just tossing my dishes at the sink so I can go collapse into bed (generally at 2 in the morning). So we *both* need a reminder sometimes, but I know beyond a doubt this was his bowl. Because I simply don't leave bits of food in my bowls, ever. Residue, perhaps, but leftovers? No, they go down the drain or in the garbage.

We have a pretty good relationship. Been best friends since the first year of high school, so I think we can handle a single sign. Wink And if he thinks it's a bit overkill, and promises to rinse things (at the least!), then I can take it down. And put it back up later if needed. Grin I'm honestly more worried about the possible issues with "Well that's your job" than "What is there a sign for?"

Thanks. Cheesy
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« Reply #4: October 26, 2007, 02:59:39 pm »


If you're worried about not doing your fair share (first of all, kudos!  not everyone would do that!) look at the apartment as a whole, not that one job.

Who's vaccuuming?  Who's cleaning the bathrooms?  Odds are good you're each doing your own laundry, but there are lots of other chores - what's important is that the total balances, not each one. Smiley
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« Reply #5: October 26, 2007, 03:03:23 pm »

Who's vaccuuming?  Who's cleaning the bathrooms?  Odds are good you're each doing your own laundry, but there are lots of other chores - what's important is that the total balances, not each one. Smiley

Cheesy
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elaoin
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« Reply #6: October 26, 2007, 03:05:50 pm »

If you're worried about not doing your fair share (first of all, kudos!  not everyone would do that!) look at the apartment as a whole, not that one job.

Who's vaccuuming?  Who's cleaning the bathrooms?  Odds are good you're each doing your own laundry, but there are lots of other chores - what's important is that the total balances, not each one. Smiley

Funny you bring that up... I have vacuum duties (not that there's much floorspace to vacuum, currently - boxes, boxes everywhere!) and he has bathroom duty. That's really the only duties we have around here beyond garbage, which fell to me (can't remember what he gets to do in turn of that... oh well, I know we balanced it out at the time).
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« Reply #7: October 26, 2007, 04:21:47 pm »

Funny you bring that up... I have vacuum duties (not that there's much floorspace to vacuum, currently - boxes, boxes everywhere!) and he has bathroom duty. That's really the only duties we have around here beyond garbage, which fell to me (can't remember what he gets to do in turn of that... oh well, I know we balanced it out at the time).

LOL still sounds like you got the better deal. I'd much rather vacuum and put dishes in the dishwasher than cook and clean the bathroom.

Of course, if there was no dishwasher, I'd rather cook and clean the bathroom. I hate to wash dishes by hand (I have a squicky germ-phobia about dishes) and I hate the sound of a vacuum cleaner. Grin
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« Reply #8: October 26, 2007, 06:10:08 pm »

Does this seem fair? Am I trying to get out of some of my duties? Or is it dependent on the circumstances? Huh

Absolutely fair. Sometimes a person may have to slack off on it, but generally it works well.
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