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Author Topic: Short, and well... Short.  (Read 2202 times)
Mandi
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Did the big meanies break yer speshulness

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« Topic Start: January 29, 2008, 10:17:11 pm »

Venison

The old woman sat, grinning toothlessly; staring into the fires light.  She paused, and collected herself, and slowly the circle around her took note.  Something important  was about to be said, and a quiet settled over them.  She grinned again as if at a secret joke.  When the silence rang through the hut she began…



The night was clear, and the sky people glimmered in their eternal vigil.  Deer woman lay in the grass, observing the harmony of the night around her.  In the distance she heard them, singing the song, the heart drum building, and the singers raising their voices to a frenetic pitch.  Tomorrow would soon come.

She didn’t so much mind.  Long ago the people had forged an alliance, and the terms of their agreement were clear.  For each a destiny.  This was how it was and how it should be and there was no hiding from it. 

For every hunters bow, there was an obligation to be met, and she didn’t so much mind it.  The fawns of past winters had grown.  They no longer knew her now, majestic young bucks.  She remembered them, spotted and carefree.  The grass was brown and dry against her flanks and there was peace in her heart.

The drums rose in tempo and the voices of the people became shrill.  The night settled around her and she found her repose.

With the dawn the hunters set out across the valley.  Suddenly they came upon a band moving across a clearing.  They separated and spread themselves to better confine them.

Deer woman met the eyes of a young scout.  Tall and brave he stalked through the underbrush.  For a moment she froze.  This moment was all it took.  He knocked his bow and let fly.

The pain was dazzling.  Stars shot before her eyes.  She didn’t expect it to be like this.  A shudder, a heartbeat and she did the unthinkable.  She ran; ran as far and as fast as her dying legs could carry her.  She outdistanced the hunter in moments.  She could hear him crashing through the sticks and leaves, and in panic she ran harder.

This could not go on forever.  Lifes blood streaming from nostrils and chest she came crashing to the ground, gasping.  It was not supposed to be like this.  Every breath, served to force him more deeply into her, wet with her own blood.  A lovers dance consummated by death.

He caught up with her, surprisingly strong in his youth, not panting or having broken a sweat.  He looked scornfully at the prize which had nearly eluded him; ruined.  Looking momentarily into her eyes, lip curled, and gave her the mercy of an arrow through the temple, before spitting on the ground near her, nudging her with a booted toe, and striding off through the forest in search of greener pastures.
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I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir

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WarHorse
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The little tyke.

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« Reply #1: January 30, 2008, 09:51:47 am »

Venison

I like it. Smiley  But I don't understand why he doesn't take her.

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"I've seen knights in armor panic at the first hint of battle.  And I've seen the lowliest unarmed squire pull a spear from his own body to defend a dying horse." - Kevin Costner as Robin of Loxley, Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves.
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« Reply #2: January 30, 2008, 09:57:31 am »

I like it. Smiley  But I don't understand why he doesn't take her.

I think because she ran.  When a deer runs off like that, adrenaline flows through their muscles.  Then they aren't as tasty.  (That's the gamey flavor people talk about.)  If you shoot a deer with an arrow, it's very unlikely that you will bring them down immediately.  (A firearm would more likely do the job.) 

But I think in Mandi's story, there was some kind of agreement between the deer and the hunters, like she was supposed to give herself up.  Unless I missed the theme.
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« Reply #3: January 30, 2008, 10:12:24 am »

I think because she ran.  When a deer runs off like that, adrenaline flows through their muscles.  Then they aren't as tasty.  (That's the gamey flavor people talk about.)  If you shoot a deer with an arrow, it's very unlikely that you will bring them down immediately.  (A firearm would more likely do the job.) 

I just wanted to add that in reality, bowhunters (the ones I am familiar with anyway) eat their prey no matter how far it runs.
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Ocelot
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« Reply #4: January 30, 2008, 10:21:23 am »

I just wanted to add that in reality, bowhunters (the ones I am familiar with anyway) eat their prey no matter how far it runs.

Yes, we do Smiley
Amongst my peers, I find that bow hunters are generally more responsible and dedicated. I think it's because of the time investment needed for the skill level. Much more than someone that just decides to buy or borrow a gun and go on a hunting trip.
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Mandi
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Did the big meanies break yer speshulness

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« Reply #5: January 30, 2008, 10:23:25 am »

I think because she ran.  When a deer runs off like that, adrenaline flows through their muscles.  Then they aren't as tasty.  (That's the gamey flavor people talk about.)  If you shoot a deer with an arrow, it's very unlikely that you will bring them down immediately.  (A firearm would more likely do the job.) 

But I think in Mandi's story, there was some kind of agreement between the deer and the hunters, like she was supposed to give herself up.  Unless I missed the theme.

Yup, and yup.

Briefly, The Yaqui Deer Dance is about the hunt, it's done to honor the deer that will be killed.  The deer have an agreement with the people that every deer that is brought down, is meant to be brought down by the person who shot it.

The hunter was

1.  A bad shot
2.  Wasteful
3.  Disrespectful

The deer...

Ran.

Which could be interpreted as a breach of contract, although natural; but the contract was completed anyways in spite of them both being somewhat unwilling on one count, and incapable on the other.

The sacrifice has to be made, and it will happen whether you want to do it or not.  She knew it was time, and passively consented until the *oh shit* moment when it became real.  At this point the desire to live outweighed the desire for honorable sacrifice.  Knowing sacrifice is the hardest sort to make.  Sacrifice that you know the consequences of.  Remaining willing under the arrow.

The hunter had a rite of passage as well.  He blew it on the shot.  Lung shot rather than a killing shot.  He COULD have still made use of many parts of the deer.  A little gamey, but hey.  We have hoofs, we have bones we have skins and brains.  Venison jerky.  Instead in immaturity he throws away what was meant for him in search of something better, but there is nothing better, because no other agreement was made for him, and he has rejected what was given, and disrespectfully at that.

 
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I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
WarHorse
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Last Login:July 04, 2012, 06:05:14 pm
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Religion: Eclectic Pantheist
Posts: 2994


The little tyke.

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« Reply #6: January 30, 2008, 01:03:20 pm »

Yup, and yup.

Grin  That was some good guessin', peeps!


Instead in immaturity he throws away what was meant for him in search of something better, but there is nothing better, because no other agreement was made for him, and he has rejected what was given, and disrespectfully at that.

Ah, I see.  I like it a lot - very original, well-paced.

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"I've seen knights in armor panic at the first hint of battle.  And I've seen the lowliest unarmed squire pull a spear from his own body to defend a dying horse." - Kevin Costner as Robin of Loxley, Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves.

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