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Author Topic: Dad's Drinking Again  (Read 5578 times)
Melamphoros
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« Topic Start: February 04, 2008, 02:50:57 pm »

I went back to my parents' house over the weekend and guess what I saw on Saturday afternoon?  That's right, my dad drinking a bottle of beer.  Now, alcohol tends to bring out my father's darker side and he was sober for over ten years.  I managed to get my mother alone to ask her about it and apparently he has been drinking every day since October.  Then she told me that one day he chased my sister.  Granted, she has an abrasive personality but she is conscious when she takes things too far.  A few months ago he would've rolled his eyes and ignore her.

I really don't know what to do.  My main concern is my sister's safety.  I think I should be there in case anything else happens but I know that is impossible because I have school.  I remember what he is like and she was too young to remember.  I'm not typing this for advice -- I know we will have to confront him on this eventually -- I just needed to vent.
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« Reply #1: February 04, 2008, 03:07:28 pm »


((((Hugs))))

Is there any way that you can get your sister out of there? She shouldn't be in that situation, certainly, and neither should you.
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Melamphoros
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« Reply #2: February 04, 2008, 03:12:47 pm »

((((Hugs))))

Is there any way that you can get your sister out of there? She shouldn't be in that situation, certainly, and neither should you.

No, there isn't.  She is only sixteen and my parents are still together.  The only one who would take her in would be our grandmother and she in turn is dependent on my mother, aunts and uncle.  Plus, I don't think she would want to leave because she is protective of our mother and vice versa.
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« Reply #3: February 04, 2008, 03:14:07 pm »

I went back to my parents' house over the weekend and guess what I saw on Saturday afternoon?  That's right, my dad drinking a bottle of beer.  Now, alcohol tends to bring out my father's darker side and he was sober for over ten years. 


*hugs*

I hope things work out for the best and that your sis or any one else is not placed in any danger.  Only thing I could think of if I were in that situation would be to  try to get him to go to an addicts support group or see a counsellor specialising in addiction as soon as possible.  Here’s hoping that he goes back on to the path of sobriety as quick as poss.
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« Reply #4: February 04, 2008, 03:38:13 pm »


(((Hugs))) Here's to hoping he gets back on the wagon all by himself (or at least with little trouble in persuasion) and no one gets hurt in the meantime.
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« Reply #5: February 04, 2008, 04:11:47 pm »


(((((Hugs))))) Would an intervention of sorts be of any use? Remind him of why he got sober in the first place?

I hope things get better soon, and that your family stays safe.
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« Reply #6: February 04, 2008, 06:51:33 pm »


I don't have any advice that hasn't been given, so here's what I've got:

((((hugs)))) Hope things get better, and that everyone stays safe.
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« Reply #7: February 04, 2008, 07:47:34 pm »


I really don't know what to do.  My main concern is my sister's safety.  I think I should be there in case anything else happens but I know that is impossible because I have school.  I remember what he is like and she was too young to remember.  I'm not typing this for advice -- I know we will have to confront him on this eventually -- I just needed to vent.

aw, sweetie, I am so sorry. That is a really scary, situation, I know. I have been there, on both sides (although not as a parent myself, thank the Gods). Losing your sobriety after a long time is really a terrible feeling, and your dad must really be in the shit right now. A couple of suggestions...if he was/is in AA, and you know his sponsor, call him/her if you can. Talk to your mother. Talk to your sister. It is really important that the rest of the family is aware of what is going on and working together to support each other, as much as possible. If you want prayers and energy, feel free to ask.
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  And the power of Earth,
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Melamphoros
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« Reply #8: February 04, 2008, 08:22:58 pm »

I want to start off by thinking everyone for their well wishes.  Prayers and healing energy are welcome at my end, though I'm not sure on the other.

aw, sweetie, I am so sorry. That is a really scary, situation, I know. I have been there, on both sides (although not as a parent myself, thank the Gods). Losing your sobriety after a long time is really a terrible feeling, and your dad must really be in the shit right now. A couple of suggestions...if he was/is in AA, and you know his sponsor, call him/her if you can. Talk to your mother. Talk to your sister. It is really important that the rest of the family is aware of what is going on and working together to support each other, as much as possible. If you want prayers and energy, feel free to ask.

I don't know if he was involved in AA or not.  To tell the truth he doesn't seem to be the type who would go to an AA meeting.

Here is what I do know:  He started drinking at a Halloween party we went to on the last Saturday in October.  Since then he has been drinking a little bit every day.  I really don't know why he did it, the only major thing to happen around that time was that I moved out almost two months before.

Dang, I was so upset that I didn't notice that I made my 1300th post in this thread.
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« Reply #9: February 04, 2008, 10:53:37 pm »

Here is what I do know:  He started drinking at a Halloween party we went to on the last Saturday in October.  Since then he has been drinking a little bit every day.  I really don't know why he did it, the only major thing to happen around that time was that I moved out almost two months before.


eh, there's all kinds of reasons to start up again. Doesn't matter. Don't trouble yourself with the whys and whats, just take care of yourself and try and be there for your mom and sister when you can.
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Goddess grant me:
  The power of Water,
  to accept with ease & grace what I cannot change.

  The power of Fire,
  for the energy & courage to change the things I can.

  The power of Air,
  for the ability and wisdom to know the difference.

  And the power of Earth,
  for the strength to continue my path.

http://rosejayadal.blogspot.com/
SunflowerP
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« Reply #10: February 05, 2008, 01:25:32 am »

I want to start off by thinking everyone for their well wishes.  Prayers and healing energy are welcome at my end, though I'm not sure on the other.
(((Melamphoros)))

I've asked the Morrigan to keep an eye on you, and bolster your strength if you need it - the Hellenic deities I'm on conversing terms with don't seem all that suitable to the circumstances (at first thought, anyway; I'll consider the matter more deeply).

Sunflower
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« Reply #11: February 05, 2008, 01:38:52 pm »


Honestly, it was easier to stay in moderation for me than to out-right quit. Mind you, this is with marijuana rather than drinking but addiction is addiction. I know this may seem insane, but maybe it's better he stays a course of some simple moderation rather than going sober completely. I am, however, concerned for your sister. You're right about confrontation, and come hell or high water that seems the best end-game solution. Though, I did manage to help a friend through his alcoholism by simply curving his anger. Still, when he drinks heavily it's a very, very dark road that everyone goes on. I mean, he usually can be kept in-check with one or two beers a day and since his wife can easily kick his ass (served in the military and is a black belt in whatever the hell she practices) I suppose that's always an alternative should he get a little excessive or gets angry about all the booze getting hidden. But my philosophy on things in this matter is moderation.

I do wish you the best of luck, though. I'd say stick to school because you do NOT want to get sucked back down in that dysfunction. Rather, reach out to friends and family and to your father on this. Don't take my advice on the moderation thing, I don't know your dad so I have no idea how that would work for him. Just, be safe in this whole thing.
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« Reply #12: February 05, 2008, 02:29:54 pm »

I went back to my parents' house over the weekend and guess what I saw on Saturday afternoon?  That's right, my dad drinking a bottle of beer.  Now, alcohol tends to bring out my father's darker side and he was sober for over ten years.  I managed to get my mother alone to ask her about it and apparently he has been drinking every day since October.  Then she told me that one day he chased my sister.  Granted, she has an abrasive personality but she is conscious when she takes things too far.  A few months ago he would've rolled his eyes and ignore her.

I know you are not asking for advice, so take it or leave it, but I think you and your sister could use some support.  If your dad won't go to AA then you might want to check out support groups for those with alcoholic family members. Al-Anon and Alateen (for you sister) come to mind. But you can check out your local area for similar places, start by calling a hospital for references, some recovery / support groups can be scams so a hospital would know which to recommend.

Blessings.

 
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« Reply #13: February 05, 2008, 06:10:03 pm »

I went back to my parents' house over the weekend and guess what I saw on Saturday afternoon?  That's right, my dad drinking a bottle of beer.

I hope everything works out ok.
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rose
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« Reply #14: February 05, 2008, 07:41:25 pm »

If your dad won't go to AA then you might want to check out support groups for those with alcoholic family members. Al-Anon and Alateen (for you sister) come to mind.

I agree. Depends on your area, but around here the meetings are nearly all quite pagan-friendly, as well.
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Goddess grant me:
  The power of Water,
  to accept with ease & grace what I cannot change.

  The power of Fire,
  for the energy & courage to change the things I can.

  The power of Air,
  for the ability and wisdom to know the difference.

  And the power of Earth,
  for the strength to continue my path.

http://rosejayadal.blogspot.com/

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