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Author Topic: Sexuality and Paganism  (Read 10196 times)
High Adept Member
Last Login:February 23, 2020, 06:56:44 pm
United States United States

Religion: Priestess in initiatory religious witchcraft tradition
Posts: 2506

Blog entries (1)


« Reply #26: June 29, 2008, 04:05:57 am »

I am, arguably, a spiritual leader.  And, quite frankly, I can't see where people's sexuality matters a damn unless they're running into problems.  I don't care if someone's gay, straight, transgender, etc.  I care that the person is comfortable with themselves and honest with themselves, but after that?  Not my problem!

Does it HAVE to matter?

Depends on structure, no?

If I'm in a small group setting with someone - which is where most of my leadership goes - they're someone I want to have as a friend. I don't need to know all the details of their romantic life, but one of the deals for friendship for me is knowing about other important people in someone's life. They'll be in and out of my home and life, and I'll be in and out of theirs.

I know how my groupmates feel about their families of origin. I know if they're seeing someone, at least once they've had a couple of dates and think it's going to continue. And yes, that means I usually have a general idea of the outward view of their orientation, though sometimes the internal one doesn't come up for a while (such as with a friend who is bi, but who has been very firmly in a monogamous relationship as long as I've known her.) If I didn't know *anything* about a friend's relationships or interests or whatever, they wouldn't be a friend: we simply wouldn't be close enough for 'friend' to make sense as a term.

In broader community, I mostly don't care. But I am also aware that if someone wants my advice, there's certain places I know I'm missing important context - for example, many of my social circle are GLBT, and I'm not (and more importantly, don't do my dating from within that community.) There are some places I know friends have had issues - like a woman who's always had female partners getting interested in a male partner - where there are particular community responses I don't have as good grasp on as others. (Friends in that position have hit some real nastiness.)

On the other hand, there's places I've got a far better handle on resources than many people I know (polyamory, for example), so it does balance out. Just, if someone asks for my help, I want to be sure I can actually help, which means focusing either on details I've got experience with, or looking at very general stuff that affects all relationships (communication, say.) And knowing *that* is, in my opinion, important for anyone who's doing religious leadership in a way that might get them asked questions about it: knowing where personal boundaries are, and where your strengths and weaknesses might be on various topics.

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