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Author Topic: Shift Experiences  (Read 39323 times)
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« Reply #15: May 06, 2007, 10:35:47 pm »

My Beltane group shift was pretty neat, and continued the theme of "home and hearth".
What I did on my group shift was LJ housekeeping (as some of you may have already figured out).  It wasn't quite a matter of Brigid saying, "You keep thinking about it; so get off your duff and do it!"  (Metaphorical duff, of course; my duff was firmly planted in my computer chair the whole time - I only type standing up when someone's post calls for a standing ovation with literal standing.  Wink )  It was more organic than that.  There was a community I was considering joining; someone in it, a few days before Beltane, asked for tips on dancing a Maypole, and since it seemed a bit rude for me to post an answer without joining, I did.  My intro post (the community in question strongly prefers intros) got a couple of responses that complimented my writing style and hinted that they'd like to read more of it.

So, my shift project was to remove the almost three years' worth of dust and cobwebs (mainly, that meant putting up a current entry, and getting started on making it more a part of the LJ network).  My UPG is that Brigid thought this was a highly appropriate choice - there appear to be very few things she doesn't accept as suitable shift activities, but while many many things are satisfactory, only some are laudable.  Makes sense; my writing is my primary exercise of creative fire.

I've already friended a few Cauldronites - mainly, folks who wouldn't have to scratch their heads figuring out who I was or why I'd friend them; it'd be immediately obvious.  But I'm absolutely up for friending with my TC family, so anyone I haven't friended who wants to be, don't hesitate to take the initiative.

I don't know yet how often I'll be posting to it, other than a) I want to do so often enough that it doesn't gather dust again, and b) it'll probably be irregular in interval.  It won't just be Craft-related; it'll cover almost anything I get opinionated about (which means practically anything might come up, 'cause I'm pretty opinionated  Grin ).

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« Reply #16: May 14, 2007, 04:32:00 pm »

[quote
[/quote]

This is a new experience so it doesn't really fall into quoting someone.

Well, I seem to have hit a bit of a roadblock on my cill shifts.  I've gone from having a very clear purpose to my shifts at the beginning of all of this to my chifts being chaotic, forgetful, draining and less enjoyable. 

Maybe it's an echo of my life since that's so chaotic right now, I dunno, but I need to fix it.  Last night as I was lighting my shift candle, I didn't really have much energy to put towards it.  So instead of focusing on something that my heart just wasn't into, I decided to clean the stove so that my altar would be properly maintained.  I was successfull in at least getting the area clean focusing on being thankful to Brighid for her involvement in my life.  But that was about all. 

This morning I slept a few minutes late and didn't exercise.  I went over to check on the candles to make sure they were still burning and I just was immediately pulled into a trance the minute I looked at the flame.  This has actually happened a couple of times before, although usually there's a reason I've started drawing on the flame and I just get lost in it.  This time there was no reason to draw on it.  In fact, I was just standing there thinking, "Wait, how did this happen?  I need to stop this because I'm always tired after this happens."  But it took me a little while to actually get my bearings and stop the trance.  I don't really like it when this happens automatically as I have no control over it and, well, I don't feel comfortable with loss of control.  And I really don't like feeling so light and drained.  Especially if I'm on my way to work.

Anyways, I went about my regular morning and just before I left the apt I drew the flame into myself and blew out the candle.  I wasn't nearly as drained this time because I was wary and careful and already still a might bit tired.  But man, my day has really sucked.  And I can say that just about anytime that I've had a trance like that happen, that day has just been chaotic and weird.

My boss was having a very "off" day today though too, so it's entirely possible that the chaos could be triggered by our chaotic weather and I'm just dreaming up the correllations with the flame shift.  I still need to figure out what the deal is with these trances and harness them in some way.  Otherwise, I'm afraid my shifts will become a chore instead of a joy.

Crap!  Even just thinking about it now, I'm spacing out.
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« Reply #17: June 29, 2007, 11:48:34 am »

Well, I seem to have hit a bit of a roadblock on my cill shifts.  I've gone from having a very clear purpose to my shifts at the beginning of all of this to my chifts being chaotic, forgetful, draining and less enjoyable. 

I've had a very similar experience the last several shifts.  It's definately because I've been under so much stress in my life and have been unable to focus on anything other than my growing anxiety, really.  Mundane anxieties.  In that sense, my keeping has been really critical, even though I haven't been getting the same sense of connection, etc, out of it lately, because it offers something more important to focus on.  I've just got so much crap muddying the waters, it's been really hard to feel Her.

That said, I'm really looking forward to my shift starting tonight, and I have no idea why.  Why this shift even more than others, I mean.  Should be interesting.
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« Reply #18: June 29, 2007, 09:05:00 pm »

I've had a very similar experience the last several shifts.  It's definately because I've been under so much stress in my life and have been unable to focus on anything other than my growing anxiety, really.  Mundane anxieties.  In that sense, my keeping has been really critical, even though I haven't been getting the same sense of connection, etc, out of it lately, because it offers something more important to focus on.  I've just got so much crap muddying the waters, it's been really hard to feel Her.

For what it's worth, I'm having some of the same problems.  I'm reaching out, and not really *feeling* what I think I should be feeling.

Plus, I'm having a really hard time focussing on my studies during my shift.

I think it's definitely stress related, because of my job search.

OTOH, when I was on my way to the interview on Tuesday, Brighid sent me tons of little signs.  Everywhere I looked, there was a picture of a sun, or a cow, or even a truck for "Celtic Building Supplies"  (I mean, WTF?) with a giant green spiral as a logo.  It was really comforting and energizing.
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« Reply #19: July 09, 2007, 04:06:27 am »


My older daughter and I just got back from the Chesapeake Pagan Community Summer Gathering, where something happened to me that I want to share with you all.  Bear with me, it's kinda a long story.

I decided to go to this event -- my very first pagan gathering IRL -- because Alexei Kondratiev was scheduled to give a workshop on ogham.  It was very cool to meet Alexei and have the opportunity to learn from him, rather than just through the IMBAS email list.

My Cill shift started Thursday evening, which was the first night of the gathering.  I had packed a small LED candle, so I could have it lit for my shift even though I wasn't at home.  So, around sundown, I was in our cabin and I went to light my little fake candle, and the damned thing wouldn't light.  It would turn on, but go off as soon as I put it down.  Some problem with the contact to the battery, I think.

I was pretty bummed, but there wasn't much I could do about it, as open flames aren't allowed in the cabins.

The next morning, I was in the Dance Pavillion for the first workshop.  Another attendee was walking around the back side of the pavillion picking up trash -- one piece of which was a small, orange LED candle.  She just happened to set it down on the railing right in front of where I was standing.  I turned it on, and it worked perfectly.  I asked her if I could keep it, and she kind of looked at me funny, so I explained about it being my shift, and my candle not working.  Turns out her girlfriend is also a Brighid flamekeeper, so she totally understood.  I think her words were, "Hey, Brighid is big mojo.  I'm not messing with that.  Of course you can have the candle."  I kept it on for the entire weekend, the whole drive home, and it's still lit on my shelf right now.

So that was cool.  But then...

On the last night Diana Paxson led an oracular seidh ritual -- sort of the main event of the gathering.  Not being an Asatruar, I had no idea what to expect.  Earlier on the schedule, Diana did a class on oracles, so she had talked a bit about it and how it works.  In a nutshell, if I understand correctly, this is a ritual format that is talked about but not fully described in the Norse lore.  (Which should sound familiar to any CR type person.   Wink  )  So, Diana and her group developed/reconstructed/adapted an oracular tradition as closely as they thought they could.  They've been doing this for something like 15 years at various pagan festivals, so some of you might have experienced it.

It was a reasonably involved ritual, including pathworking to take us all on a journey to the gates of Hel, and then to help the seeress move deeper into trance and into Hel's domain, where she could then try to "see" for people and answer questions.

Well, at the beginning, Diana had explained how to ask questions, including how to ask to speak to a deity.  So, I decided to take the opportunity to try to talk to Brighid.

Throughout the 3 hours (!!) of the ritual, I watched the woman acting as seeress answer questions from people wanting to talk to relatives who had passed on, people who needed guidance on various life issues, and people who asked to speak to deities.  It was incredible.  I'm pretty cynical about psychics in general, although I recently had an experience with someone that really turned me around.  But there is no doubt in my mind that this seeress was channelling people's relatives.  She *became* them.  Their mannerisms, their detailed memories, their voices.  It was amazing.

Anyway, to get to the point, when it was my turn, I said I had a question to ask Brighid (there was a whole formulaic way of asking questions and communicating with her).  She said she couldn't reach Brighid where she was, but would travel to where she could.  A few minutes later, she described standing on a heath, with standing stones around her.  She said she saw Brighid there.  And then she *was* Brighid.  There was a transformation in her that was undeniable.  Her face *changed*, and She was *glowing*.

She asked me what my question was.  I asked, "Am I on the right path, or have I strayed off course?"  My question was about my ideas concerning Who Brighid is and whether She was worshipped under other names.  (Hmmmm, I think I've mentioned those ideas elseshere on TC... Cheesy )

She then asked me a series of questions, which, unfotunately, I can't completely remember.  By that time, I was already shaking and shivering and starting to cry for no apparent reason.  I think She asked me things like whether I felt I was being true to myself and my path, whether it was hurting anyone, whether I could speak of it with joy and confidence.  I answered them as honestly as I could.

Then She said, "Will you come to me?"   I answered, yes, thinking She meant it metaphorically.  As in, will I reach out for Her, etc.   But then She gestured me to approach her.  I went up to Her, and She/the seeress took my right hand.  There was a physical jolt when She touched me -- like an electric current, but not.  Her eyes were closed (as they were for the entire ritual, I think), and there were tears streaming down her face.  I don't remember everything we said, I think we talked quietly for quite a while.  But I do remember Her saying, "Where do I live?  Where do I live?"

She asked me if I had other questions for Her.  Stupid me, everything I should have asked flew straight out of my head.  I was shaking and shivering and buzzing (I don't know how else to describe the sensation) and almost sobbing. 

(I'm crying again as I write this, and the sensations come back to my memory.)

I asked, "Have I really found You?"

With Her other hand, She began to stroke my neck and chest, eyes still closed.  And then She said, "I can play these strings like a harp."   Then She touched the center of my chest, and said, "I live here.  I live here."

She took my hand that she had been holding so tightly, and kissed the back of it, then used my hand to wide away Her tears.  Then She said, "I have to let her go now.  It's too much."  I think She meant that She had to let the seeress have her body back.  And She let go of my hand, and was gone.  I was standing so close I could *see* the transformation take place, and then it was the human seeress again.

I cried quietly for the rest of the ritual.

When it was over, I went back to my cabin (where my little candle was still burning  Smiley ), and wrote a note to Brighid.  I thanked Her for coming to me, and asked Her specifically to show me the way to reach Her directly myself.  I took the note down to the bonfire and threw it in.

The next morning, yesterday morning -- but it seems a long time ago -- I was standing on the porch of our cabin finishing the little morning ritual I do (I had to pour some water out, so I thought I'd pour it on the sunflower plant).  While I was standing there, I saw the woman, L, who had been the seeress the night before walk over and sit down in the camp of the folks who were set up in front of our cabin, who she apparently knows from other events.  While I was watching her, this incredibly beautiful butterfly flew around my head several times, then landed on my right foot.  It sat there for a while opening and closing its wings so I could see them clearly.  They were black, with blue edges on the top sides, and orange spots on the bottom sides.  It made me think of water and fire -- and Brighid.  Then it flew to my other foot and sat there for a while.

When it left me, I looked up and realized several people had gathered in my neighbors' camp (it was sort of a hospitality hot spot, so lots of people liked to come and visit), so I went over and sat down across the table from L.  She was just saying how she could remember some of the images she had from the ritual, but not all.  Then she said something about the person who had asked for Brighid.  (Mind, I had never met this woman before the night before, and she had her eyes closed.  I'm sure she didn't know who I was.)  I told her that had been me.  She was surprised, but then went on to say that she couldn't remember anything about it, except for the presence of incredible power.  She asked me if the answers were satisfactory, and I assured her they were.

A few minutes later, completely out of the blue, she asked if I would be interested in learning the oracle technique myself.  I told her I had no experience with Asatru or with the Norse pantheon, and she said I could easily learn what I needed to know, and that it's a technique that is transferable and adaptable.  Apparently, she lives about half an hour away from me, and is involved with an Asatru community locally.  And she is giving an invitation-only class on the seidh technique, starting next week.

I can't help but think that this is the answer Brighid sent me, in response to my request.  So, I'm going to do it, even thought it's kinda scary.

And that's my story.

Now I have to learn some basics about Asatru and Norse mythology in the next week.

I'm sorry this post is so long.  I wanted to try to convey what a powerful experience this was for me.  I'm sorry I'm not poetically gifted.
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« Reply #20: July 09, 2007, 11:27:29 am »

My older daughter and I just got back from the Chesapeake Pagan Community Summer Gathering, where something happened to me that I want to share with you all.  Bear with me, it's kinda a long story.



What an amazing story! I could feel how powerful it must have been by reading what you've written and had a little tear or two, myself. It sounds like things are coming together for you in some really interesting and beautiful ways.
Thanks for sharing this, Moon Ivy.
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« Reply #21: July 09, 2007, 01:30:15 pm »

My older daughter and I just got back from the Chesapeake Pagan Community Summer Gathering, where something happened to me that I want to share with you all.  Bear with me, it's kinda a long story.

Wow, Moon Ivy! What an awesome story. Thanks for sharing it.  Smiley
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« Reply #22: July 09, 2007, 06:59:47 pm »

(I had to pour some water out, so I thought I'd pour it on the sunflower plant).
Good place. Grin

Quote
A few minutes later, completely out of the blue, she asked if I would be interested in learning the oracle technique myself.  I told her I had no experience with Asatru or with the Norse pantheon, and she said I could easily learn what I needed to know, and that it's a technique that is transferable and adaptable.  Apparently, she lives about half an hour away from me, and is involved with an Asatru community locally.  And she is giving an invitation-only class on the seidh technique, starting next week.

I can't help but think that this is the answer Brighid sent me, in response to my request.  So, I'm going to do it, even thought it's kinda scary.
Ha.  I thought there was some kind of "mystic" sorta thing that should have been happening with your path, but wasn't yet.  That resonates well with what I know of you; I think it's an excellent idea and am glad you're pursuing it.

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« Reply #23: July 09, 2007, 07:14:55 pm »

Ha.  I thought there was some kind of "mystic" sorta thing that should have been happening with your path, but wasn't yet.  That resonates well with what I know of you; I think it's an excellent idea and am glad you're pursuing it.

I guess I'm just a late bloomer.   Wink

The idea felt a little weird at first, since it was outside the Celtic culture.  But then I realized that it's perfect, since the whole thrust of my current "research" is that Brighid was known outside the Celtic culture, under different names. 

Duh.

So, She's sending me to the Norse first.  (Although, I'm also poking around a little in the Slavic and Baltic.)
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« Reply #24: July 09, 2007, 07:37:41 pm »

And that's my story.

Moon Ivy, your story brought tears to my eyes. What an incredible experience, and what an incredible journey Brighid is leading you on! This pretty much has made my day--I've been in something of a spiritual fog, and have felt very unclear and very vulnerable lately, but... it's stories like these that remind me of what is truly possible, and reading it really comforted me. Thanks for sharing!  Smiley
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« Reply #25: July 09, 2007, 07:42:44 pm »

reading it really comforted me

I'm glad.  I wasn't sure if I should post it, or if the post was too long.  But I felt like I had to share it with you all who have been so supportive of me during all this.

The weird thing is that it hasn't faded.  My memory is so bad that the feelings around events usually fade really fast.  I'm still getting the shivers and tearing up.  And I keep hearing Her saying, "I can play these strings like a harp."  I think that's the most important part, somehow.

But I can't seem to identify what kind of butterfly it was.  I've been all through the Audubon Field Guide and several Maryland butterfly websites picture-by-picture, with no luck.  Not even close.
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« Reply #26: July 09, 2007, 07:47:10 pm »

I'm glad.  I wasn't sure if I should post it, or if the post was too long.  But I felt like I had to share it with you all who have been so supportive of me during all this.

I'll say it again, it was an absolutely beautiful story and thank you for sharing it.  Smiley

Quote
The weird thing is that it hasn't faded.  My memory is so bad that the feelings around events usually fade really fast.  I'm still getting the shivers and tearing up.  And I keep hearing Her saying, "I can play these strings like a harp."  I think that's the most important part, somehow.

Have you written this experience down in a place other than here on TC?

Quote
But I can't seem to identify what kind of butterfly it was.  I've been all through the Audubon Field Guide and several Maryland butterfly websites picture-by-picture, with no luck.  Not even close.

It wasn't a swallowtail was it?
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« Reply #27: July 09, 2007, 07:48:09 pm »

Have you written this experience down in a place other than here on TC?

It wasn't a swallowtail was it?

No, and no.

I guess I should copy the post and save it for myself.

No idea what kind of butterfly -- but I'm still looking.
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« Reply #28: July 09, 2007, 07:52:46 pm »

And I keep hearing Her saying, "I can play these strings like a harp."  I think that's the most important part, somehow.

*shivers*  Spooky, but in a good way.

And I hope you find the mysterious butterfly.  Wink
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« Reply #29: July 10, 2007, 11:53:39 am »

No, and no.

I guess I should copy the post and save it for myself.

IMHO, you most definately should write down your experiences elsewhere...What would happen if, say, Bob's server went ka-blooey and the boards, including this one, were toasted?
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