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Author Topic: Does anyone know how to throw a baby shower? (Help!)  (Read 6433 times)
HeartShadow - Cutethulhu
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« Reply #15: April 04, 2007, 10:18:56 am »

While we're on the subject of baby showers, I have a question for y'all.  Have you ever heard of throwing a shower after the baby's born?  I mean, assuming that there's no pressing reason to wait, just doing it then so that everyone can pass the baby around and coo over it and stuff.

Word through the grapevine is that this is what my aunts want to do for me.  I...  feel like I can't object because it seems terribly mercenary and ungrateful to be all, "But...  um, I kinda was hoping to have those shower gifts to help me get ready for baby being here, so that we wouldn't have to buy so much stuff ourselves, which I thought was half the point, the other half being advice and stuff," but it does strike me as really odd.  (I mean, why not just throw a regular old party, no gifts expected/required, everyone invited and not just the usual girls-only thing, to celebrate the baby's birth and show her off?)  I was just curious as to whether this is some common practice that I hadn't heard about, or whether my family really is just being...  odd.

Some cultures think that buying stuff for the baby ahead of time (or bringing it into the house ahead of time) is BAD LUCK and should never be done.  ever ever ever.
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« Reply #16: April 04, 2007, 10:30:59 am »

Some cultures think that buying stuff for the baby ahead of time (or bringing it into the house ahead of time) is BAD LUCK and should never be done.  ever ever ever.

My family feels that way.  There are some things, which are for Mom and Dad, that can be given before the baby comes.  The furniture, diapers, little tee shirts and layette gowns that aren't for either a boy or a girl, that sort of thing.  Those gifts are to help the couple prepare for becoming parents, not specifically for the child on the way.  No toys or gender-specific clothing.  Nothing that is specifically for the child on the way.  Those pressies are saved until the naming party when the baby is a couple weeks old.

That party is a lot more fun.  The baby is passed around from person to person and introduced to his/her extended family, all the really sweet baby gifts are given to the new baby, and baby becomes a proper member of the family.

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« Reply #17: April 04, 2007, 12:46:07 pm »

While we're on the subject of baby showers, I have a question for y'all.  Have you ever heard of throwing a shower after the baby's born?  I mean, assuming that there's no pressing reason to wait, just doing it then so that everyone can pass the baby around and coo over it and stuff.

Word through the grapevine is that this is what my aunts want to do for me.  I...  feel like I can't object because it seems terribly mercenary and ungrateful to be all, "But...  um, I kinda was hoping to have those shower gifts to help me get ready for baby being here, so that we wouldn't have to buy so much stuff ourselves, which I thought was half the point, the other half being advice and stuff," but it does strike me as really odd.  (I mean, why not just throw a regular old party, no gifts expected/required, everyone invited and not just the usual girls-only thing, to celebrate the baby's birth and show her off?)  I was just curious as to whether this is some common practice that I hadn't heard about, or whether my family really is just being...  odd.

I've heard of it and I don't recommend it. First, you don't have all those things that you need when you bring home baby. Second is baby's health: at the hospital, everyone is reminded to wash their hands with a disinfectant before handling the newborn, and once you get home you can keep an eye on if someone seems sick or whatever. At new baby showers, women who say "oh, I had kids, I'm perfectly capable of telling if someone should be allowed to handle a newborn" tend to let people pass the baby around, and they almost always get sick (ime).
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« Reply #18: April 04, 2007, 01:18:51 pm »

I've heard of it and I don't recommend it. First, you don't have all those things that you need when you bring home baby. Second is baby's health: at the hospital, everyone is reminded to wash their hands with a disinfectant before handling the newborn, and once you get home you can keep an eye on if someone seems sick or whatever. At new baby showers, women who say "oh, I had kids, I'm perfectly capable of telling if someone should be allowed to handle a newborn" tend to let people pass the baby around, and they almost always get sick (ime).

Well, obviously if we're not going to have the shower ahead of time, we're just going to have to get the stuff ourselves.  I don't think it's that we won't have it, it'll just be that we'll have to spend more up front to get the very-newborn stuff and then be gifted with stuff for slightly later in the baby's life which we might've had to buy anyway if the shower had been before the birth.  Expense doesn't get added, just moved around...  theoretically, at least.  (Mom also claims people might want to buy us non-shower baby gifts before the birth, which I guess is possible but I'm not counting on it or anything.)  And some of that stuff you can never have too much of, I get the impression.  I hadn't thought of the health angle, though.  *sigh*  And yeah, I know there's going to be some baby-passing going on.  The other thing that was annoying me was that most of the people involved in are in my mother's family and live in a town an hour east of where I live, so that's travel time with a newborn, which I'm a little leery of.  But Mom says she thinks she can talk them around to having it closer to my home.

Since posting the question, I have (at my hubby's urging) asked Mom about this, and she says it's how we've always done showers in this family.  I just didn't remember because the last one, for the birth of one of my cousins, was quite a while ago and has faded out of my memory.  Who knew.
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« Reply #19: April 04, 2007, 03:08:39 pm »

I've heard of it and I don't recommend it. First, you don't have all those things that you need when you bring home baby. Second is baby's health: at the hospital, everyone is reminded to wash their hands with a disinfectant before handling the newborn, and once you get home you can keep an eye on if someone seems sick or whatever. At new baby showers, women who say "oh, I had kids, I'm perfectly capable of telling if someone should be allowed to handle a newborn" tend to let people pass the baby around, and they almost always get sick (ime).

My experience is the opposite- none of my girls got sick from their naming parties, and everyone took a turn at mushing over them.  My brother's boys, same thing.  Not one of them got sick and they were passed around to everyone. 

Mind you, those present are a part of the family, and that means they're part of our "germ set", so that might be the difference.  The only people at our naming parties are family and friends who are a part of our lives daily.
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« Reply #20: April 05, 2007, 08:21:50 pm »

The other thing that was annoying me was that most of the people involved in are in my mother's family and live in a town an hour east of where I live, so that's travel time with a newborn, which I'm a little leery of.  But Mom says she thinks she can talk them around to having it closer to my home.


They expect you to bring your (first) newborn to them, an hour away?! I'd be a bit leery too.

Betty  Smiley
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« Reply #21: April 05, 2007, 09:57:33 pm »

They expect you to bring your (first) newborn to them, an hour away?! I'd be a bit leery too.

To be perfectly fair, I don't know for certain that they were expecting that.  There's a family house (in said town an hour away) we have almost all family events at and I was *assuming* they'd plan it there, but I don't *know* that for certain.  (You know what they say about the word assume.)  If it were held before the birth, I'm certain it would be there, but I guess I don't actually know that it wouldn't be now that it's apparently going to be after.
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