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Author Topic: Which Pagan religions are NOT nature-earth based?  (Read 25197 times)
Star
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« Reply #35: May 05, 2008, 02:03:44 pm »

And yet, no one in this thread actually did any of that. There was no finger pointing or attempts to pigeonhole anyone/anything(not that I saw, anyway), so why even bring it up? 

I didn't say anyone in this thread had or had not done anything.  I was speaking theoretically about what could all too easily happen in the type of thread proposed, a discussion about the definition of "nature-based", which while related to this thread is not this thread.  I didn't think we were speaking about this thread specifically anymore, but about how some of us feel about the whole "nature-based" conversation.  The answer to "why bring it up" can be found in that very discussion; the reasons we are wary of it are the very reasons why we feel the need to speak up when the term does surface here.

In addition, my entire point was that in that sort of conversation where you're trying to define a term that has become a sore spot for people, it's entirely too easy to think people have been pigeonholing or pointing fingers when in fact they haven't.

Quote
This is supposed to be the forum where people don't have to sugar coat everything, granted -   but then, as a newbie here, anymore I feel as if I have to tiptoe on eggshells because at any moment, a regular or old timer is going to go defensive or even ballistic because I asked a question or said something that was misconstrued, or because I simply touched on a nerve.  I find myself sugarcoating the hell out of everything now, and I'm not even sure it helps any.  There is a lot of anger here.

I'm not sure what to tell you here.  I don't think there is a lot of anger in general, but I think that there are a few issues that there are a lot of anger and resentment and bitterness towards.  I don't know if you've just lucked into accidentally hitting more of them than usual or what, but I don't think there's such a level of generalized anger here.  And yes, if you bring those touchy subjects up, you're going to get a reaction.  There's not much to be done about this; the ill feelings are not going to go away, being as they are things that have built up over years (and in some cases decades) of constantly having to deal with the same misconceptions over and over again, and there's not a handy way to warn new posters about them.  (I mean, I suppose we could do a new FAQ or sticky post on it, if someone had the time and energy, but in the first place we'd probably miss stuff anyway--with ten years of history, not to mention the additional off-forum experience of the posters, I'd be shocked if we didn't miss something--and in the second place I'm not convinced that people actually read the other FAQs and sticky posts that already exist, much less that they would read a new one.)

I also don't think the answer is to walk on eggshells or sugarcoat everything.  That might work short-term for a little bit, but eventually it's going to get irritating in and of itself, and people are going to start getting abrasive over that.  And in the meantime it's not exactly an ideal solution for yourself either.  I think the answer, rather, is to recognize the situation you're dealing with, and when you accidentally touch one of those nerves, just recognize that the reaction is probably not aimed at you personally, and that you personally probably didn't prompt the majority of it even if it's in response to something you said.  Since people are not going to stop reacting this way, I think the best thing to do would be to learn to recognize the type of reaction that's happening and let it go and not take it personally.

As for being misconstrued, well, that's a danger of interacting online in a plain-text medium.  Smileys help a little bit, but even they don't make up for the lack of cues like tone of voice and facial expression.  That's why it's important to review your post before posting it (especially if you're posting about something controversial), and try to see it from a point of view other than your own to make sure that you're being clear.  And even with the most careful reviewing in the world, misunderstandings are still going to happen.  Again, there's not much to be done there; it's a hazard that comes with the territory.  The only thing I've found to do about it is to try to clarify what you meant, if possible, and learn from the incident so that you can communicate more clearly in the future, and to remember that it's something that happens to everyone sometime.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2008, 02:40:38 pm by Star, Reason: Minor grammar edit; no substantial change to content. » Logged

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