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Author Topic: Sending magical messages...  (Read 8849 times)
Diannaskye
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« Topic Start: April 01, 2007, 09:22:09 pm »

So, there was a situation which completely blew up at my school. Unfortunately, the message I was trying to get across has only been half-ingrained into this person's mind. They don't understand what I'm trying to say, even when I say it outright. It got very, very bad.

I want this person gone from my life; I realize that's not really possible until after grad (we're going to different high schools) but there's got to be something I can do. I also want her to get the message... it's very complicated. I did a rite a few nights ago to try and remove her/get the message across, but I'm thinking it totally failed.

At this point, I'm beginning to think I'll have to empathetically project onto her or something. She's not leaving me alone, and she's clearly not getting the message. This sounds like one complaint or something...

What have you guys done to get a point across? To get rid of someone? Both out of curiosity and need. I've tried everything, magical and mundane, that I can think of. *Sigh* Oh well, I'll let you guys take it from here. Share what you want to.
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« Reply #1: April 01, 2007, 09:31:14 pm »

So, there was a situation which completely blew up at my school. Unfortunately, the message I was trying to get across has only been half-ingrained into this person's mind. They don't understand what I'm trying to say, even when I say it outright. It got very, very bad.

I want this person gone from my life; I realize that's not really possible until after grad (we're going to different high schools) but there's got to be something I can do. I also want her to get the message... it's very complicated. I did a rite a few nights ago to try and remove her/get the message across, but I'm thinking it totally failed.

At this point, I'm beginning to think I'll have to empathetically project onto her or something. She's not leaving me alone, and she's clearly not getting the message. This sounds like one complaint or something...

What have you guys done to get a point across? To get rid of someone? Both out of curiosity and need. I've tried everything, magical and mundane, that I can think of. *Sigh* Oh well, I'll let you guys take it from here. Share what you want to.

The problem sounds to me like someone doesn't WANT to listen.  And for that, what you need to do is stop feeding the beast.

Every time you respond, even if it's a "Stop talking to me!", you're encouraging another interaction.  She's getting SOMETHING from that.  Which means that as long as you're giving her the result she wants, she's going to keep coming after you.  The nicer you are, the more she's going to be there.

Which means you have more-or-less two options, depending on the severity.  If this is someone that's a threat to you in some way, that NEEDS to be OUT of your life, the best answer is to simply completely ignore her.  Don't talk to her.  If she calls, say you don't want to talk (not "I'm busy" but "I don't want to talk to you") and HANG UP.  Don't get drawn in.  Deal with her only as you must in school and no more.  If you have group work together, talk to your teachers and see if you can get moved to a different group.

If it's just someone you don't want to be friends with, but it's not to the level of running scared, be polite but nothing more.  Again, though, don't be polite to the point of dishonesty.  don't say you're busy, say you really don't want to talk right now.  Check your own signals.  Are they mixed?

Even trying to get your message across is open communication.  If you don't want it, stop it completely.  Or you're giving mixed signals.

If you give nothing back, sooner or later, she'll give up.
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« Reply #2: April 01, 2007, 09:32:33 pm »

What have you guys done to get a point across?

Well if y'all go to different high schools, I don't see a problem. However, why not avoid the person and ignore them or you could simply be like "I don't want to talk to you, please leave me alone". Without knowing the full story I can't say how good the advice will be.
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« Reply #3: April 01, 2007, 09:52:34 pm »

Even trying to get your message across is open communication.  If you don't want it, stop it completely.  Or you're giving mixed signals.

If you give nothing back, sooner or later, she'll give up.

She's not scaring me... it's more like the opposite of that, I'm a threat to her. She's desperate.

Which is why I want her to get it. Because she's desperate; there are a lot of things she needs to realize, and I'm not sure how to make her realize them. Until she realizes them, I want nothing to do with her. But I still want my point to make it. Somehow. The overriding thing is that I don't want to be her friend, or even talking to her, but I also want her to learn certain things.

I don't talk to her. I really don't. She's not really talking to me, and when she does try, I don't say a word. I just walk away. I just want things to happen around her that prove my point. It's confusing, I know.

As for your comment, Nigel, she's going to another high school, but until then we're in the same school (grade eight) and the same math/gym classes, so I have to see her EVERY DAY.
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« Reply #4: April 01, 2007, 09:57:34 pm »

As for your comment, Nigel, she's going to another high school, but until then we're in the same school (grade eight) and the same math/gym classes, so I have to see her EVERY DAY.

Ok, I did not get where the problem was in regards to a different high school but I get it now. So you have a lot of the same classes, which it's easy to ignore her.
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« Reply #5: April 01, 2007, 10:41:44 pm »

Which is why I want her to get it. Because she's desperate; there are a lot of things she needs to realize, and I'm not sure how to make her realize them.

You can't "make" anyone realize something. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make the horse drink.
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« Reply #6: April 02, 2007, 04:31:29 am »

She's not scaring me... it's more like the opposite of that, I'm a threat to her. She's desperate.

Out of curiosity, in what way are you a threat to her?
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« Reply #7: April 02, 2007, 07:58:59 am »


Which is why I want her to get it. Because she's desperate; there are a lot of things she needs to realize, and I'm not sure how to make her realize them. Until she realizes them, I want nothing to do with her. But I still want my point to make it. Somehow. The overriding thing is that I don't want to be her friend, or even talking to her, but I also want her to learn certain things.


I think maybe your message isn't clear to you.  On one hand you want her to leave you alone, but on the other want her to "learn things" which is a very dangerous combo.  It means that you're pulling your head back, and reaching your arm waaaay way out with a small piece of meat between your fingers.  Which means you may loose your hand.  When she *learns* it will be at risk and potential pain to you.  Which is the exact opposite of leave me the hell alone.  Cut the loss with the knowledge that she probably wont get it.  There's a blown fuse there, and since you aren't her mental mechanic, it's not your responsibility to change it.

It may take a couple days to work, but I would do some energy work/ disguise work on your energy fields.  Envision your aura as filled with gray fog.  The mists move in and out, gray and concealing, unless someone has a particular reason for looking for or noticing you, they wont.  You are a shifting mist, barely catching the light.  You are a faceless, transparent facet of the crowd.  Insignificant, unnoticed.

See yourself as a cookie cutter version of everyone else in the room.  Nothing different, nothing worth a second glance.  The goal is for people to sort of look through you.

The down side of this, is that talking while doing this is difficult and sort of counters the entire effort anyways by calling attention to yourself.  People may after class be saying *gee, you were sort of quiet today in class* but that's pretty easily sidestepped with calling girly problems, or saying you were sort of nauseous, questioner dependent.

After a few days of *disappearing* maybe she'll move on to more fertile feeding grounds.

I wouldn't attempt any more magical workings in her direction.  It's like putting more charge onto a magnet.  You also don't know what kinds of blocks her subconscious may have set up affecting what comes in and goes out.  In her head it's all about her, so any message coming in is going to be reworded to be all about her. 
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« Reply #8: April 02, 2007, 09:10:36 am »

I did a rite a few nights ago to try and remove her/get the message across, but I'm thinking it totally failed.

While I'm no expert, "a few nights ago" would have been a waxing moon, not waning.  So if you follow some of the standard advice you find out and about, magically you could have made the situation tougher to resolve.

Like Everfool, I don't follow the logic of how you're a threat to her.

Two years ago, both my sons fell victim to a 23-year-old gang member (they were 16 and 18 respectively).  He preyed on juveniles and those he could influence with his "charm" ... he talked my two into robbing the home of his girlfriend's mother (he set the whole thing up, took them on a tour when the mother wasn't home to show them where stuff was kept and what he wanted them to take, made sure the garage door was left unlocked and conveniently took the girlfriend out to a local restaurant where he could be seen and alibied).  Long, complicated mess of a story, and I won't bore you with more details.  Let's just say he walked away scotfree ... we've been dealing with courts, lawyers, probation officers, restitution in the thousands of $$$, etc. for two years and counting now.

The point I'm trying to get at is:  this guy kept hanging around the neighborhood, purposely "running into" my two, taunting, threatening, etc.  Let's just say hatred and anger filled me to the core.  Yes, I did think about all sorts of revenge magick, extremely black thoughts.  But that little voice inside me said that's not the way.

Instead, I did a binding spell (let me tell you, there was so much "energy" during that working, I'm sure it was felt in the next galaxy over).  The full intent was to forever bind him from intentionally using another person as a pawn to commit a crime, and to bind him solidly to any crime he has a part in (via evidence, fingerprints, getting caught in possession of the goods, etc.).

Did it work?  I don't truly know ... but no one has seen him or even heard his name mentioned in over 8 months now.  And he used to be a predominant fixture in the neighborhood.

My point is:  most issues can be taken care of with mundane ways; there are times when you want to add that little extra "punch" via magick.  Just make sure you think that spell/ritual through thoroughly; if you believe in the 3-fold law (personally I don't), you could be causing yourself more harm than good.
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« Reply #9: April 02, 2007, 03:44:36 pm »

What have you guys done to get a point across? To get rid of someone? Both out of curiosity and need. I've tried everything, magical and mundane, that I can think of. *Sigh* Oh well, I'll let you guys take it from here. Share what you want to.

We cant choose our classmates, we cant choose our coworkers, we cant choose our family.  We get what we're given, basically.  Assigned seating, we cant choose who our neighbors are.  Groupwork, job assignments, we cant choose who we have to work with on a project.  So to try to get rid of somebody who is in our lives due to a situation like this is just an exercise in futility.  I cant choose the people I have to deal with to get this project approved, and if I have difficulty with them my only recourse is to quit.  Since I dont WANT to quit, I can either change them -- or change myself.

You're stuck with this girl, like it or not, unless either of you drops out.  So you can either change her, or change yourself.

You dont want to change her.  Trying to change somebody else is like trying to teach a pig to sing. You'll only frustrate yourself, and annoy the pig.  I suggest changing yourself -- change the way you interact with her, change the way you speak with her, your tone of voice, your body language, your choice of words.

I prefer to kill 'em with kindness, myself.  Take the road that is so high, you'll get a nosebleed.  Smile A LOT, and mean it.  Should you have to interact with her, focus on the specific task at hand, smile and be extremely polite, and dont allow yourself to be drug in the mud.  If the interaction turns sour, excuse yourself politely and remove yourself from the area.  If she follows, go stand by a teacher. 

There's a saying online, it's called "Dont Feed the Trolls".  The more unpleasant interactions you have with her, you're feeding the troll.  She'll come back for more, especially once she figures out how to get a rise out of you.  That's why it's important that you do not rise.  Easier said than done, I know.

These are all just suggestions made without knowing your specific situation, but killing them with kindness and being overly polite, especially when you are trapped into dealing with them on a regular basis, typically is enough to deflate most potentially bad situations.

To help yourself get 'over' her, so to speak, I'd recommend doing a little cutting the cord spell for your own benefit.  I used a piece of ribbon or string, tied one end around something to symbolize the other person.  You're on one end of the cord, she is on the other.  Envision the cord being the connection between the two of you - for better or for worse - then cut the cord.  *snip*  Envision the connection between you and her being severed as you cut the ribbon.  Then make sure that you do not allow that cord to reconnect itself.  Which goes back to what I suggested above.  Remain pleasant and aloof as far as she is concerned, dont allow yourself to get dragged back into the situation, and eventually the cord will remain broken and you wont feel the draw of the strong connection to her anymore.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2007, 03:46:59 pm by Zahirah, Reason: Accidently deleted a bracket. » Logged

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« Reply #10: April 02, 2007, 08:17:00 pm »

Out of curiosity, in what way are you a threat to her?

I have anger management issues, to the level of impulsive compulsive disorder sometimes. I'm a threat to everyone except my best friend when I'm angry (why do you think my ex broke up with me today? I was dangerous around him) so if she makes me angry...

Blammo. Threat-from-hell.

The 'gray mass' thing, Mandi, I don't think it would work. I'm already a presence in the school... if I were quiet, people would notice totally and...heh, I don't want to think about it.

I might try your idea, Zahirah. I did something similar (burned a circle part of a pendant until it broke) a year ago. Did a world of good.

And, breeze, I did it then because it was right before I had to go back to school. I don't believe in the threefold law, either. I believe in comeuppance... to me, if I cause someone else harm, it's speeding up karma. (Otherwise I'd hate myself half to death just because I'm very impulsive.)
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« Reply #11: April 03, 2007, 05:11:34 am »

I have anger management issues, to the level of impulsive compulsive disorder sometimes. I'm a threat to everyone except my best friend when I'm angry (why do you think my ex broke up with me today? I was dangerous around him) so if she makes me angry...

Blammo. Threat-from-hell.

Are you currently seeking help for this?  Forgive me if you've said before, but my memory is getting worse with age.  You say you've already got a 'presence' at school - I assume that people are familiar with the impulsive aspects of your behaviour?  You could just try saying to the girl in question 'It's nothing personal, it's not that I dislike you, but I have anger problems.  I need you to stay away from me, especially when I say I'm having a difficult time.  Don't stop and question, just give me space.'  Or something along those lines - you may want to adapt it.  If you can get people to just give you space on command, that may be worth it. <shrugs>
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« Reply #12: April 03, 2007, 10:28:28 am »

I have anger management issues, to the level of impulsive compulsive disorder sometimes. I'm a threat to everyone except my best friend when I'm angry (why do you think my ex broke up with me today? I was dangerous around him) so if she makes me angry...

Learning to control anger/rage to a level acceptable to society in general gets a little easier as time goes by and you get older - you're pre-high school as I recall.  I don't believe your situation/behavior issues are extremely unusual for people your age.  And there are probably hundreds, if not thousands, of outside influences that have contributed to the situation (I would bet the majority of them you and others your age would not even be aware of on a conscious level ... the one that comes to mind immediately is how life, in general, doesn't follow a "fairness" scale).

Understanding that you have a problem controling your temper is a big part of improving that aspect of your life.  As your life evolves, I think you'll find your attitudes/perspectives change when something or someone comes along that causes those feelings of anger to swell.  And a lot of it is a matter of perspective.  Right now, this girl is your whole focus ... even though you only see her in a couple of classes, I am guessing she's at the forefront of your mind for the bulk of the daylight hours, even when she's not in sight.

How many days are left before you two have a parting of the ways?  Figure it out, start a countdown.  Instead of looking at it/her like this is going to go on "forever", realize that it is only for "x" number of days/hours still to go.  There will be an end to your involvement with each other, and it gets closer with every passing day.  When you see her, instead of seeing "red", try to superimpose an image of (for example) a pesty little insect ... just an annoyance, nothing more ... wave your hand about your head and "schoo" her away.

Throughout your life you'll encounter people who drive you to the edge of sanity (in business, this is generally referred to as a personality conflict).  Your focus should be on the fact that it's a temporary/finite thing.  Others have suggested you try to ignore her, and that is excellent advice ... but also I realize it's hard to do.  Is there anyway you can take all that energy that builds up inside you out of anger and immediately/after school use it for something positive, perhaps a creative channel (favorite hobby?), and then after you've poured all that energy into something wonderful/beautiful (and I know this will sound weird) ... take a second or two and thank her for the part she played in helping you achieve whatever it is you did/succeeded at.  That simple little mental thanks just might help dissipate some of the animosity you feel when you see her.  In other words, in her own dumb/unknown way, she actually helped you out.  Does that make any sense?  Hard to put into words.
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« Reply #13: April 03, 2007, 02:28:00 pm »

Quote
(in business, this is generally referred to as a personality conflict)

Woot!  lol.  I've had a few of those.  Always entertaining when both parties acknowledge mutual dislike and see how close to sword edges they can come without actually crossing any lines of professional ethics.  AKA get fired, or dragged in to HR to "work out your differences"

As a hair trigger temper myself, and subject to *snap rage* I'll second pretty much everything you said.  When I was a teen it was screaming rages as well.

What I do, is somewhat like a form of grounding.  Not the gentle let extra energy dissipate ground, but FORCEFULLY direct that energy down.  I plant my feet a little wider, drop my shoulders, get some bend back in my knees and elbows.  Then take all of that adrenaline and energy, making it into a ball of about bowling ball size/weight, with extremely magnetic properties and letting it drop hard from the back of your skull, through your body all the way onto/into the ground.  As it moves through you, it attracts the other bits of loose energy that's driving you to the edge, and takes them with it. 

With the 'impact' you've also connected yourself, rooted yourself in place by the weight of the energy that you've just diverted, so it serves the purpose of weighting you down and holding you up all at once.  Sort of like those punching bags for kids that they weight the bottoms with sand.

It's sort of like sticking yourself to the ground with a really big magnet, about three feet under.

You can also pull energy from this bowling ball/ magnet as you need it/ can process it.  It's still there and available, you've just taken it offline.  It's no longer directly connected to your actions.  You can filter it as you pull it back in as well, leaving behind the portions that are the shaky want to wrap my hands around your neck because I can't think of what to say energy, and draw a slower, *cleaner* energy back in, that helps to control the rush.

After all is said and done and the moment of conflict is over, serious grounding is a must.  The shakes, and overall fuzzy headedness from moving that much of your energy around that quickly and forcefully is kind of on the extreme side. 

It's still something that I have to do very deliberately and with intent.  It takes that second to take a breath, dump the extra energy and let the situation play itself out rather than driving the situation.  It helps to put you in a more responsive place as well, since for that moment you've stepped out of just reacting, and given your body a chance to balance out.

It's not that you don't get angry, you just aren't being driven by your need to have your anger validated by the person making you angry.

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Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
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« Reply #14: April 03, 2007, 03:10:03 pm »

It takes that second to take a breath, dump the extra energy and let the situation play itself out rather than driving the situation.  It helps to put you in a more responsive place as well, since for that moment you've stepped out of just reacting, and given your body a chance to balance out.

It's not that you don't get angry, you just aren't being driven by your need to have your anger validated by the person making you angry.

LOL!  I'm a heavy smoker, and when I find myself driven to the brink (usually by kids or hubby), I always grab a cig, light up and take a couple of very deep drags, so to speak ... AND I AM NOT ADVOCATING SMOKING (just wanted to make that clear).  That's just my way of breaking the chain (on the way to physical violence  Angry ).  As you put it, "stepping out of just reacting and giving yourself a moment to get back in balance/under control emotionally" (paraphrasing).

I totally agree with you, Mandi, that the anger still happens, no doubt about it; it's just finding a way to constructively deal with it.  The only way I ever have a really clean house is when I'm totally P***ed off about something or someone.  For one, I hate ... no, that deserves capital letters ... HATE housework, and I found I can really physically pour my anger into scrubbing something without the fear of that item filing assault charges.

Most people find ways to vent that remain inside the law.  Some walk/jog, etc.  You use grounding.  I do dishes with a cigarette clenched between my teeth.  She hasn't found her safety valve yet ... although asking for ideas, etc. to help with this situation is a massive step in the right direction (albeit I'm not sure a public forum is exactly the right place to go for assistance).
« Last Edit: April 03, 2007, 03:12:15 pm by Breeze, Reason: Correct spelling of Mandi\'s name » Logged

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