What's Your Baggage? (Spin-off from Wonderbug's Mental Block)

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[WarHorse]

If you think that running in a circle chanting or drawing symbols on little pieces of paper and burning them (or whatever) is going to make an ounce of difference, you're either an idiot, a weirdo, a freak, or are seriously deluding yourself... according to my parents and the rest of mainstream society.

But I did all of that, trying to save my previous job.  It didn't make any difference.

But again, I have found that the manager - having told me that she would rather go through foaling season alone than with me, and then finding a replacement - was forbidden to hire said replacement.

So maybe it does all come out in the wash.

[RandallS]

But again, I have found that the manager - having told me that she would rather go through foaling season alone than with me, and then finding a replacement - was forbidden to hire said replacement.

What a shame. ::snort::

[Neriandal Freit]

I find the question - and the answers - very interesting.

But even more interesting was my response to it: I was raised Christian through high school, was born-again in college, and when it came time for me to find my own path, carried very little baggage, least of all images of hooded figures, etc & so on.

In fact, I find that I'm far enough out of that box now that I can't believe any intelligent person would stay in it.  My perspective has changed so much that anyone who claims to know the Mind of God through the reading of His Own Words, and then interpreting them in modern political lexicon, as though they could possibly understand what it was like to be a first-generation Christian in Jerusalem under Roman rule...I can't stand to be around them.  I turn off the CB, leave the room, whatever.

What is your baggage, or did you not bring any?

What a fantastic question to ask a bunch of today pagans and others!

I personally was blessed looking back at this now in my life (20). My family had no base religion, so I was not forced to go to Sunday school/church, pay respect to a God I really never believed in, etc.

Went to Church with a friend when I was 6-7, stopped. Went back to church for VBS around 12 and that was it. About that time, my mind was also wondering about everything else. About that time too, I began to see both my parents beliefs. Dad was/is a country-boy god-fearing child, mom was a bit of the "rebellious witch before it was cool" in the 80's through even today (unfortunately, no where near as much. but she's slowy going back !)

Neither forced either. It was and still is a pleasure to have grown up with that, even if my father does give me odd looks if the word "Gods" in stead of "God" comes out of my mouth after I hit my head.

[AIONIA]

I believe - but sometimes I have a very hard time accepting my own beliefs.

I do the same thing. I'm very analytical, every once in a while I look at what I'm going and think, "I'm so f#@%ing crazy. There's no way this is real."

[Vyktor]

What is your baggage, or did you not bring any?

A whole crapload of "If its not from the Biblical Scriptures it is of the Devil"

The walls that were built as a kid often get in the way of what my heart says and what logic tells me. It drives me nuts really

[skybyrd]

What is your baggage, or did you not bring any?

My baggage is still the nagging feeling that without ritual, my belief is not real.  I have never felt any type of spiritual power while planning, watching or participating in any ritual: the Episcopalian church of my childhood, the myriad of Protestant faiths that I visited during my teens, any of the weddings I have attended (including my own!), or any of the Pagan rituals I've seen.  Ritual just doesn't do it for me.  Yet I have this nagging feeling that if I really believed, I'd find the power in the ritual.  I get somewhat envious of members here who talk about what they feel during their rituals. 

[dragonfly_high]

What is your baggage, or did you not bring any?

I don't have any 'bad' experience with churches other then feeling like the odd one when I did visit.  My mom is not religious, so that was never a problem.

My baggage started when I was pre-teen and showing a friend something cool I could do and she started screaming that the devil was tempting me with powers so he could still my soul.  That continued into my teens when I told a so-called friend about talking to my grandfather's spirit.  Learned real fast, don't trust anyone with what you can do.

My main baggage comes from a group I used to be associated with.  It's been a while, but I'm still working through all that s---. 

[Thorn]

I guess my main baggage isn't necessarily religious: "Smart people don't believe in magic."

My major baggage is similiar, but specifically religions:  "Smart people don't believe in gods.  Religion is a crutch for people who can't deal."  It doesn't help that I can't deal with the idea of an atheistic universe.  So whenever I'm feeling particularly down on myself, this is one of the first things to rush to the surface.

It goes back to my childhood as a Pentacostal.  In my church at least, the intellect was highly suspect.  Which, once I rejected that path, somehow got translated subconsciously into "religious people are idiots."  Been trying to shake that for years.  The fluffier element of the pagan community isn't helping.  Thank the gods for all the sane, intelligent people on TC!

Anyway, this is why I'll add a big "Me too!"  to Shad's comment below.

I believe - but sometimes I have a very hard time accepting my own beliefs.

My other stuff is psychological and not specifically related to my faith.  I've got a lot of anxiety when dealing with groups, so I tend to avoid them.  Then theres the fear/depression cycle.

[Waldfrau]

My major baggage is similiar, but specifically religions:  "Smart people don't believe in gods.  Religion is a crutch for people who can't deal."

I think I have some similar baggage too as I turned very hard areligious atheistic & human secularist against my Catholic upbringing when I was a teen, but I have also issues trusting Gods because I have been brought up with a rather stern and unforgiving picture of Jahwe.

When I hear the word 'God' the first one I think of is Jahwe and how much I'm annoyed about him. I think I have a lot of subtle prejudices against gods in general, just because I had bad experiences with a single one. I don't trust them, because I fear they were jealous, powerhungry male tyrants and want to controll everything. I really have problems to get to know them and be open to them. I wish I could give them the chance they deserve. (As it's not their fault that I've been threatened with a specific God as a kid, I wouldn't even say it was Jahwe's fault.) So I try to learn intellectually about them and take very slow steps. But I'm often frustrated, because I have the feeling of missing some part of the universe, but being too blocked up to experience it.

Has anyone else been frightened of Gods? Have you gained new trust or got different relationships later?

[RandallS]

Has anyone else been frightened of Gods?

One word: Ares.

[wisdomsbane]

One word: Ares.

Why?  Yes, I know god of war, but why does he scare you?  I've never thought of him as scary... a bit psychotic maybe, but never really scary.  Especially since he got beat by a girl... his own niece, no less.

[EverFool]

a bit psychotic maybe,

I think you're using the word 'psychotic' to mean something it doesn't actually mean...  A psychosis is comprised of hallucinations and delusions.  If you thought a god of war was psychotic, I should say that was fairly scary. :p

[wisdomsbane]

I think you're using the word 'psychotic' to mean something it doesn't actually mean...  A psychosis is comprised of hallucinations and delusions.  If you thought a god of war was psychotic, I should say that was fairly scary. :p

Then what is the word I'm looking for.  Although, if you believe Hollywood, Ares was quite psychotic... 

But, anyway, I imagine Ares' temperament to be similar to my hubby's easily enraged, not so easily controlled once that rage hits.  (Hubby is classified bipolar... but what I'm thinking of for Ares isn't quite the same...)

And a psychotic god of war, using the actual definition might be fun...  creepy, but fun.   

[EverFool]

And a psychotic god of war, using the actual definition might be fun...  creepy, but fun.   

Sure, fun as a fictional character.  If you believe gods are real and Do Stuff?

[Melamphoros]

Then what is the word I'm looking for.  Although, if you believe Hollywood, Ares was quite psychotic... 

Sociopathic, maybe?

And a psychotic god of war, using the actual definition might be fun...  creepy, but fun.   

I image a psychotic war god to be about the same as Bush except much, MUCH worse.

Imagine if Bush hallucinated while watching the news and thought he saw a large monster attacking a large city.....and ordered missiles to be launched at it.

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