What's Your Baggage? (Spin-off from Wonderbug's Mental Block)

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[Wanderer894]

..............

What is your baggage, or did you not bring any?

I think the worst piece of baggage I brought with me when leaving Catholicism was my aggression towards that "He created us, we owe him everything, blah blah blah" attitude. (Fortunately, despite being devout, that's about as far as my family ever went.)  Once I was outside the system, so to speak, I couldn't understand why anyone would want anything to do with a god who makes demands and would eternally punish those who don't meet them, when he knows already that people are sure to fail.  Especially taken to the extreme, such a viewpoint reminds me strongly of an abusive relationship.  Actually, maybe "hostility" would be a better word. 

It probably ties in with the above, but I also don't cotton well to the idea of an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving god.  Certainly not in the sense Christians mean.  I could go with the concept of an "Ultimate Consciousness" having the first two attributes, but all-loving is one I don't think even that sort of being fulfill. 

On a related note, I also harbor a boatload of rancor regarding cutting family members who don't fall into step out of one's life.  It's one thing if what they're doing actually poses a real threat to you and the people you care for.  When it's merely them saying, "I believe in Shiva/Isis/some other deity" or "I don't believe in gods, period,"  but don't pose any threat, that's when I get pissed off.  And that's whether it's a personal decision, or one dictated by whatever church or leader one listens to.

I guess on the whole, I'm not too fond of organized religion in general anymore.  Just the idea of being dragged back or someone trying to cajole/persuade me to return makes me grit my teeth and do a mental "HISSSSSSSSSS!"  Not a good thing, in the long run, I suppose, but it's hard to get rid of when there's plenty happening to remind you of why it exists in the first place.

[wisdomsbane]

Sure, fun as a fictional character.  If you believe gods are real and Do Stuff?

Hmmm, actually the fictional character thing was what made me think of how fun it would be to put that into a storyline I was working on.  In reality, it would be interesting, at the very least.  I'm a bit odd, if anyone hadn't noticed...

[wisdomsbane]

Sociopathic, maybe?

I image a psychotic war god to be about the same as Bush except much, MUCH worse.

Imagine if Bush hallucinated while watching the news and thought he saw a large monster attacking a large city.....and ordered missiles to be launched at it.

Population control?

[Star]

In reality, it would be interesting, at the very least. 

Heh.  Interesting in the sense of the old "may your life be interesting" being a curse bit.  I do have to agree that one thing a real-life psychotic war god would probably not be, is boring.

[wisdomsbane]

Heh.  Interesting in the sense of the old "may your life be interesting" being a curse bit.  I do have to agree that one thing a real-life psychotic war god would probably not be, is boring.

That's what I was getting at.  If I had a choice between being bored with life, and life being in upheaval... I would honestly choose the latter.  At least then there is something going on, and you can actively participate.

[Nehet]

Has anyone else been frightened of Gods? Have you gained new trust or got different relationships later?

Um, Set? 

Actually I find myself a lot less scared of Set than I was of my parents' YHWH.  At least if Set decides to mess with me, it's not because I'm a bad person.  It's just part of the natural order of things.

My parents were, and are, very strictly catholic.  Speaking of psychotic, my dad had a couple of psychotic breaks in his life.  Looking back, it wasn't easy to tell where the delusions ended and the religious beliefs began. I'll spare you most of the stories.  It's hard when you're a little kid, scared of monsters, and your parents don't tell you they aren't real. They tell you that the demons won't get you, as long as you don't sin too much.  It's scary when you're a little kid, and you hear that the war in Iraq is Armageddon.  I never knew whether I was going to be raptured, or damned.   Things were messy.

And of course, my folks (mostly my dad) did this all out of love. They really believe I would be damned if they didn't scare me into being Catholic.  I've stopped hating them for it, but I still hate that they did it. 

So, I have a lot of guilt. I tend to be hard on myself.  I have a strong mistrust of religious authority figures and gurus. On an unconscious level, I think I'm afraid of being punished for disagreeing with them.  So I tend to avoid them at all cost. I'm trying to be less sensitive to criticism.  It's gotten a lot better over the years. 

So, yeah, I have baggage.  I have enough baggage that I had to pay extra to check it at the airport. The good news is that I did get a strong sense of ethics out of the deal.  I still talk to my parents.  I've gotten closer to my mom as I've gotten older.  I never was really able to connect with my dad, the way I would have liked to.  Every conversation (yes, every) turns into "when are you going back to church?"  My mom knows I'm Pagan.  My dad is still in denial. 

[RhiannonWhiteMare]

I really didn't come to Paganism with any baggage, except maybe for not exactly knowing which path to take. My mother was born and raised Roman Catholic, but she was excommunicated when an early first marriage ended in divorce. My father was born and raised Southern Baptist, but he had left the church long before I was born. Both my brother and I were baptised in the Catholic church, but we were raised as agnostics and received no religious training at all. I did have a friend next door who was Methodist and I sometimes went with her to Sunday school, so I at least knew what Christianity was about. My mother did keep a Catholic Bible and a prayer book that I would sometimes read and she did have a crucifix on the wall. But I wasn't interested in becoming a Catholic or any kind of Christian.

I remember once my mother telling me that I was more inclined to believe in all the Greek gods than in the one Christian god and she was right. I went on my spiritual path in my late teens and tried on several religions: Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. The one that spoke to me then was Buddhism and that stayed with me for several years until I found out that there were actual Pagans out there. So that's when I turned to Paganism and discovered Wicca, though it wasn't what I really wanted or needed. So I later became a Celtic Recon and am now in the process of studying Drudry. Now I feel like I've come home. BTW, my brother is also a Pagan.

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