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Author Topic: Mistakes  (Read 6024 times)
QuercusRobur
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« Topic Start: May 26, 2008, 04:37:51 pm »

This one is information for the newbies, as we all made mistakes when we were new, and I thought that newbies would benefit from hearing the ones we had made so they wouldn't make the same.

As I've mentioned elsewhere, I thought you had to have a path and a deity.  Now I've met people I've respected who don't have either.

The really big one, which confused me for six months was thinking that all books are gospel.  I have a Christian background, and Scottish Protestants believe that the bible is written through men by God.  So I read the books I could get my hands on about paganism, and they were mainly wiccan books and thought that they were texts.  Took me six months to find out that I didn't have to follow everything in the neo-wiccan books I'd read.  If you'd asked me about a text then I'd've cited Scott Cunningham...
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Darkhawk
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« Reply #1: May 26, 2008, 05:41:20 pm »


My big one was trying to wodge myself into a duotheistic neoWiccish paradigm.  "The Goddess" and "The God" type thing.

For a long time I thought that only a goddess would deal with me because I'm a woman (never mind that I'm genderqueer and don't fit any of the culturally normal models of womanhood terribly well); turns out none of the male deities that I have rapport with were willing to put up with the neo-Wiccan myth cycle, and waited for me to grow out of it.  (My Lady on the other hand is femme enough to not be offended by a characterisation as a mother goddess, and whimsical enough to be amused by me bollixing it up.)
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Hannah
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« Reply #2: May 26, 2008, 09:22:55 pm »

I myself am only fifteen and very new to Wicca, and I find this thread (it's a thread, right? I'm not very keen on forum lingo) to be extremely helpful. I've said some pretty idiotic and ignorant things on forums before when I was just starting out. That's not to say that I consider myself experienced in any way; I still consider myself a bare beginner and I am very new to any kind of spirituality. So, evidently, this thread is great to see as sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who has made mistakes, as I think there are a lack of Wiccans online who are actually interested in the religion or spirituality of Paganism even in general.

Feel free to correct me on any of this, the topic is Mistakes.

Hannah
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     Doth walk in fear and dread,    
And having once turn'd round, walks on    
     And turns no more his head:    
Because he knows, a frightful fiend    
     Doth close behind him tread.

-"Rime of the Ancient Mariner," Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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« Reply #3: May 26, 2008, 10:01:52 pm »

This one is information for the newbies, as we all made mistakes when we were new, and I thought that newbies would benefit from hearing the ones we had made so they wouldn't make the same.

My biggest mistake when I was starting out was interpreting EVERYTHING that happened as a sign from deity. I was determined to find a patron (ANY patron) and I figured that whoever it was destined to be would let me know through a sign (four days after I decided I was pagan and with practically zero devotional work on my part, of course *groan*). If there was a slight breeze I'd be flipping through my mythology anthology looking for a god of the winds. Had a headache? Oh, it must be Athene! She popped out of her pop's top, right? Saw a rabbit, despite the fact that where I lived at the time was practically Watership Down? Must be a sign! Who are rabbits sacred to?

Obviously, all I ended up doing was deluding and confusing mysef as well as putting off the real work of self-development that, in my case, was necessary before I could come anywhere near being ready to approach any deity.
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Sunkissed
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« Reply #4: May 26, 2008, 10:10:03 pm »

I've said some pretty idiotic and ignorant things on forums before when I was just starting out.

Heh. A lot of us have been there, don't worry. And frankly, the idiotic things I said to other pagans when I was starting out turned out to be the best learning opportunities. I got smacked down many a time for spouting off about things I thought I knew all about. The trad Wiccans and recons I was exposed to were happy to gently (and NOT so gently!) correct me and what I learned from them was more valuable in the long run than almost anything I could learn from a book.
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« Reply #5: May 27, 2008, 12:46:23 am »

My first mistake was not being specific enough when I was doing magick.  It always works, and usually in the best way possible in the long run, but often not how you think you are asking for.

My first spell was a spell to bring a healthy romantic relationship.  Listed all the qualities I wanted, saying I wanted someone who loved and needed me as much as I did then, but not in a "needy" relationship like most of the ones I have been in.  I thought it didn't work--still was dating idiots, and couldn't find any nice guys who weren't either involved with someone or gay. 

The thing is, the week after doing the spell I got my first job teaching handicapped kids.  They collectively had all the qualities I had listed, and needed me and loved me in a healthy way.  Exactly what I asked for, something that was better for me than the relationship I was looking for, and not at all what I was wanting.  It turned out for the best, but I was so mad for a while.

Love and Light
Monica
)O(
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« Reply #6: May 27, 2008, 12:59:00 am »

The thing is, the week after doing the spell I got my first job teaching handicapped kids.  They collectively had all the qualities I had listed, and needed me and loved me in a healthy way.  Exactly what I asked for, something that was better for me than the relationship I was looking for, and not at all what I was wanting.  It turned out for the best, but I was so mad for a while.

 Cheesy That is one of the sweetest stories! Sometimes we get what we need instead of what we want (or think we want.)
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« Reply #7: May 27, 2008, 01:15:25 am »



I've come a long way baby...

Hm, I thought Wicca was an ancient religion that Christianity had forced to cover up and pretend never existed. I therefore felt a lot of resentment against Christians. I also thought that Priestess' were big and scary. We aren't.
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« Reply #8: May 27, 2008, 03:20:04 am »

Thanks for this thread! I'm still such a newbie and think I make a lot of mistakes without knowing.  Roll Eyes

One of the worst was thinking because you don't believe in 'God' automatically means you're not religious. (Though obviously that was before I started to research Paganism.)
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« Reply #9: May 27, 2008, 07:57:55 am »

This one is information for the newbies, as we all made mistakes when we were new, and I thought that newbies would benefit from hearing the ones we had made so they wouldn't make the same.

As I've mentioned elsewhere, I thought you had to have a path and a deity.  Now I've met people I've respected who don't have either.

The really big one, which confused me for six months was thinking that all books are gospel.  I have a Christian background, and Scottish Protestants believe that the bible is written through men by God.  So I read the books I could get my hands on about paganism, and they were mainly wiccan books and thought that they were texts.  Took me six months to find out that I didn't have to follow everything in the neo-wiccan books I'd read.  If you'd asked me about a text then I'd've cited Scott Cunningham...

I think my biggest mistake was thinking that a path was sort of having a backwards attitude towards it.  Feeling that I was defining the path as it came into my reality rather than seeing the path as something outside of myself that I had to come to.

To try to be more clear on that, because re-reading it, it could be taken as one of those so ridiculously vague statements as to be meaninglessness cloaked in obscurity;

Wicca was Wicca, with or without me.  Belief is belief with or without me.  I made the mistake of feeling that as I was defining it, I was affecting it. 
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I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
RandallS
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« Reply #10: May 27, 2008, 08:00:12 am »

This one is information for the newbies, as we all made mistakes when we were new, and I thought that newbies would benefit from hearing the ones we had made so they wouldn't make the same.

Coming from a somewhat ceremonial magic background, I incorrectly assumed that every ritual, prayer, libation, etc. had to be done perfectly or horrible things could happen.
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« Reply #11: May 27, 2008, 09:45:20 am »

This one is information for the newbies, as we all made mistakes when we were new, and I thought that newbies would benefit from hearing the ones we had made so they wouldn't make the same.

Being to trusting.  Being new and meeting pagans in real life for the first time, I trusted them when they told me they were so experienced and trusted their 'knowledge'.  Man, that was a painful lesson.  Now I'm not so trusting.  Someone tells me something I RESEARCH until I am completely satisfied with the answers.
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« Reply #12: May 27, 2008, 02:09:03 pm »

Coming from a somewhat ceremonial magic background, I incorrectly assumed that every ritual, prayer, libation, etc. had to be done perfectly or horrible things could happen.
my biggest issue is in trying to complicate things too much instead of letting Spirit guide me. Most of us have some background in ceremonial magic. when you go from that to a Shamanistic approach you have to learn a whole different mindset. I always try to remember to make it as simple as possible and as specific as I can now that I've gotten away from High Ceremonial Magick
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« Reply #13: May 27, 2008, 10:17:26 pm »

Cheesy That is one of the sweetest stories! Sometimes we get what we need instead of what we want (or think we want.)

I know.  They have never guided me wrong.  And though I'm no longer teaching (decided to only work part-time to have more time with my son) the lessons I learned from that job were some that I will never loose.

Love and light
Monica
)O(
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« Reply #14: May 28, 2008, 03:28:52 pm »

This one is information for the newbies, as we all made mistakes when we were new, and I thought that newbies would benefit from hearing the ones we had made so they wouldn't make the same.

One of the biggest ones I still sometimes make is not acknowledging my own experience and skills.  Okay, so this isn't just in religious/spiritual/magical settings either.  It took me a long time to talk about my previous magical experience once I became pagan.  Now I do all the time. Smiley  Doesn't mean I don't need to learn - I'll always need and want to learn.  But I need to also be honest about my foundation. Smiley

Oh, and I learned fairly quickly that my path and theology and such will change and grow.  That's for the best, really.
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