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Author Topic: relationship spells...  (Read 2963 times)
gg_13
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« Topic Start: August 07, 2008, 12:22:51 pm »

latley i've noticed that my parents aren't getting along so well.  i was wondering if there was anyone who knows any spells or anything else i can do to help them realize how much they love eachother, and how much my brother and i love them. thanks
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« Reply #1: August 07, 2008, 04:17:04 pm »

latley i've noticed that my parents aren't getting along so well.  i was wondering if there was anyone who knows any spells or anything else i can do to help them realize how much they love eachother, and how much my brother and i love them. thanks



Well, for many Wiccans, a spell like that would take you into a gray area of magic. It runs along the thin line between what is and what is not manipulation, and is a very debated subject. Some people argue that any spell placed on another without their permission is considered "black magic", even if the spell itself is for something positive, because if it is successful it involves a manipulation of their free will (I use the term "black magic" in quotation because I don't really subscribe to the "black/white magic" concept in the way it's generally accepted). Others look at any magic meant to achieve a positive end as being positive in and of itself, regardless of any manipulation involved. It's something you have to decide for yourself. The way I look at it is that I personally would not want anyone doing anything that infringes on my free will, even if they mean well (even in cases that have nothing to with magic). That's just me, though, and you have to draw your own conclusions.


I'm not trying to tell you what to do way one or the other, I'm just letting you know you're getting into one of the stickier areas of magic. You're fairly young and if you're new to Wicca you might have not had much experience with this aspect of magic yet, so I'm trying to help you out, not get on your case   Smiley


Regardless of the "black/white magic" debate, my more practical advice is maybe your parents have issues they need to deal with and any magical influence to make them dismiss those issues without dealing with them would cause more problems in the long run. All relationships have problems, it's normal, and all couples fight at times. If it's a near-constant, very heated type of fighting it may indicate a problem that's more serious than the usual day-to-day problems and if so it's even more important they address it. I know it's hard when your parents fight, so you have my sympathies on that. Maybe instead of turning first to magic, maybe you can try to talk to your parents about it. I also know it can be hard to confide in your parents, but in a situation like this, it's probably a good idea to try. They may be able to make you feel better about the situation (letting you know it's normal to fight, there's nothing to worry about, etc) or maybe if you bring it to their attention they'll realize their fighting is hurting you, and they may try to take steps to deal with their problems in a more constructive way (counseling or such). No matter what you decide to do, I wish you luck. And as trite as it may sound, no matter what happens between your parents, it doesn't mean they love you any less. A bit cheesy? Yes. But the reason it's been said so many times is because it's true.


(P.S. To the mods, I only edited the entry for a misspelling.)
« Last Edit: August 07, 2008, 04:20:23 pm by hobbitatheart » Logged

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« Reply #2: August 09, 2008, 02:05:01 am »

latley i've noticed that my parents aren't getting along so well.  i was wondering if there was anyone who knows any spells or anything else i can do to help them realize how much they love eachother, and how much my brother and i love them. thanks

The best thing you can do is you and your brother try to make sure they each know how much you love and appreciate both of them.

Something to bear in mind, there are a lot of things that can happen in a marriage.  And if they are good parents they will not let the kids in to it.  I know this sounds a bit harsh and a bit like they would not be seeing you as an adult.  But, they may not even be talking to others about it.  There could be any number of reasons for what you are seeing, and it may not have anything to do with not realizing that they love each other.  They may fully realize this, but have some problems.  All relationships have these, gods know my hubby and I have had plenty of them.

The thing is, they need to work it out for themselves.  You getting into it could just make things worse, as you likely don't know the background enough to get involved.  My suggestion, in this regard, is to stay out of it.  You and your brother make sure that they know that they are appreciated by you, and kind of try to keep the peace on your own side, other than that, don't try to play relationship doctor to your parents.  I realize this can be hard, but you are not the right person for the job.  And I have said the same to people in their thirties who noticed problems between their parents.  So please do not take this as me being condescending to a teen.

If and when they feel the time is right to talk to you, they will.  Until then, well there is nothing you can do that wouldn't be likely to make matters worse, either for you or for them.

I will however wish you the best of luck in whatever happens, as I do know from experience how hard this can be.  You just live your life the best you can, and let them live theirs.
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gg_13
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« Reply #3: August 11, 2008, 05:30:21 pm »



Well, for many Wiccans, a spell like that would take you into a gray area of magic. It runs along the thin line between what is and what is not manipulation, and is a very debated subject. Some people argue that any spell placed on another without their permission is considered "black magic", even if the spell itself is for something positive, because if it is successful it involves a manipulation of their free will (I use the term "black magic" in quotation because I don't really subscribe to the "black/white magic" concept in the way it's generally accepted). Others look at any magic meant to achieve a positive end as being positive in and of itself, regardless of any manipulation involved. It's something you have to decide for yourself. The way I look at it is that I personally would not want anyone doing anything that infringes on my free will, even if they mean well (even in cases that have nothing to with magic). That's just me, though, and you have to draw your own conclusions.


I'm not trying to tell you what to do way one or the other, I'm just letting you know you're getting into one of the stickier areas of magic. You're fairly young and if you're new to Wicca you might have not had much experience with this aspect of magic yet, so I'm trying to help you out, not get on your case   Smiley


Regardless of the "black/white magic" debate, my more practical advice is maybe your parents have issues they need to deal with and any magical influence to make them dismiss those issues without dealing with them would cause more problems in the long run. All relationships have problems, it's normal, and all couples fight at times. If it's a near-constant, very heated type of fighting it may indicate a problem that's more serious than the usual day-to-day problems and if so it's even more important they address it. I know it's hard when your parents fight, so you have my sympathies on that. Maybe instead of turning first to magic, maybe you can try to talk to your parents about it. I also know it can be hard to confide in your parents, but in a situation like this, it's probably a good idea to try. They may be able to make you feel better about the situation (letting you know it's normal to fight, there's nothing to worry about, etc) or maybe if you bring it to their attention they'll realize their fighting is hurting you, and they may try to take steps to deal with their problems in a more constructive way (counseling or such). No matter what you decide to do, I wish you luck. And as trite as it may sound, no matter what happens between your parents, it doesn't mean they love you any less. A bit cheesy? Yes. But the reason it's been said so many times is because it's true.


(P.S. To the mods, I only edited the entry for a misspelling.)

their fighting isn't really heated, just sometimes my mom thinks that my dad is too bossy, my dad can think that my mom is too silly sometimes, ect.  i don't want to use magic to make them ignore the problems, but just to help them get over them quicker.  as for placing a spell on someone else being considered black magic, i think that you have to be aware of what kind of a preson that is.  i probobaly wouldn't put a good spell on my catholic friend, but i have read also that magic can be considered almost as a kind of praying (i read this is S.R.W's BOS, so i'm not sure what you think of her...)so if praying for a person is okay, magic w/ good intent should be too??  i mean, you wouldn't pray for a person with bad intent, although there isbad magic too.
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« Reply #4: August 11, 2008, 06:46:21 pm »

their fighting isn't really heated, just sometimes my mom thinks that my dad is too bossy, my dad can think that my mom is too silly sometimes, ect.  i don't want to use magic to make them ignore the problems, but just to help them get over them quicker.  as for placing a spell on someone else being considered black magic, i think that you have to be aware of what kind of a preson that is.  i probobaly wouldn't put a good spell on my catholic friend, but i have read also that magic can be considered almost as a kind of praying (i read this is S.R.W's BOS, so i'm not sure what you think of her...)so if praying for a person is okay, magic w/ good intent should be too??  i mean, you wouldn't pray for a person with bad intent, although there isbad magic too.

Just tossing in a somewhat different angle- having been both a teen with parents that didn't always get along and being a young adult figuring out married life.

I always hated when my parents argued.  It made my stomach churn and my parents never even shouted (at least in front of us).  I can sympathize with being stuck in a tense household. 

Being in my parents' shoes now, I've gotten a chance to understand some things about relationship dynamics.  Everybody disagrees and we all get on each other's nerves sometimes, you know?  There's no way to fix that because unless your parents are really unhappy a lot or arguing in a way that becomes physically/verbally/emotionally abusive, there's probably nothing to fix.  That's just how it goes when you share a home and life with someone else. Smiley  Buttons get pushed and toes get stepped on.

And dealing with the things that bug you about the other person or the situations that you have a hard time finding a solution for can help you grow as individuals and as a couple.  You learn compromise, patience, etc.  Using magic to hurry things along may remove a needed experience for them.

That said, it could be helpful for you and your brother to talk to them about what's going on.  Parents are human and may be so wrapped up in what's going on between them that they don't realize how it's affecting you.  There are a lot of parents who underestimate how tuned in their kids are to situations occuring in the home.  Some positive results may come from an honest discussion. 

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« Reply #5: August 11, 2008, 07:05:28 pm »

Just tossing in a somewhat different angle- having been both a teen with parents that didn't always get along and being a young adult figuring out married life.

I always hated when my parents argued.  It made my stomach churn and my parents never even shouted (at least in front of us).  I can sympathize with being stuck in a tense household. 

Being in my parents' shoes now, I've gotten a chance to understand some things about relationship dynamics.  Everybody disagrees and we all get on each other's nerves sometimes, you know?  There's no way to fix that because unless your parents are really unhappy a lot or arguing in a way that becomes physically/verbally/emotionally abusive, there's probably nothing to fix.  That's just how it goes when you share a home and life with someone else. Smiley  Buttons get pushed and toes get stepped on.

And dealing with the things that bug you about the other person or the situations that you have a hard time finding a solution for can help you grow as individuals and as a couple.  You learn compromise, patience, etc.  Using magic to hurry things along may remove a needed experience for them.

That said, it could be helpful for you and your brother to talk to them about what's going on.  Parents are human and may be so wrapped up in what's going on between them that they don't realize how it's affecting you.  There are a lot of parents who underestimate how tuned in their kids are to situations occuring in the home.  Some positive results may come from an honest discussion. 

- OpenHands

well, by brother's only 8 and a little too young to really understand what's going on, but i have talked to them about it and they said that they are unhappy sometimes.  well, next week we are going to winnipeg to see my oma so hopefuly they will get some bonding time.  thanks
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« Reply #6: August 11, 2008, 08:53:36 pm »


They will also go through an awful lot of transitional times ... young marrieds to young parents to parents of school kids, and teens, and college students, to empty nesters, etc. And go through different times in their careers and emotional developments. All marriages hit rough patches.

The best "magic" for it -- and I'm not being flip, I'm being quite serious -- is marital counseling, if necessary.
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« Reply #7: September 08, 2008, 09:29:16 pm »

latley i've noticed that my parents aren't getting along so well.  i was wondering if there was anyone who knows any spells or anything else i can do to help them realize how much they love eachother, and how much my brother and i love them. thanks
There is very little you can do. Anything direct would be violating a person's free will, you want parents, not zombies. Not to mention thats highly un-ethical.

The most you could do might be to place stones that help dispel negativity in visible sight in their bedroom. Beyond that there isnt much you can do.

On the more mundane side you could simply talk to them, you and your brother, express your concerns and tell them what worries you about what they are doing. You also might want to prepare yourself for the fact that sometimes two people just grow apart as they grow older. I dont want to upset you, but this may be the case. Im not suggesting that this is definitely the case with your parents, but you shouldnt totally ignore the possibility
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